Sarah's Promise

by Leisha Kelly

  “Ooooh.” Rorey turned to me with her eyes shining. “Can I see the dress?”

  “No,” I said before I could stop myself. “Not yet,” I quickly added. “We’re not done with the pearly buttons.”

  “Did you get a dress?” Mom asked her. We’d assumed weeks ago that she must have decided to buy one.

  “I brought a pattern,” she calmly announced. And Mom and I both could have hit the floor. Or the ceiling.

  “A pattern?” I was absolutely flabbergasted. “Rorey, haven’t you even started sewing it? You only have one week.”

  She looked at me like I was the one not thinking straight. “You said you’d help.”

  “That was back in April!”

  Mom touched Rorey’s arm gently. “Show me your pattern.”

  When Rorey went to open her suitcase Mom gave me a look that said she understood as well as I did what an impossible task Rorey was bringing us when we had so many other things to do. “We can look,” she said softly. “And do the best we can. We can make something work.”

  I could’ve just screamed. I’d bet Rorey’d even planned this. If we were too overwhelmed for last-minute sewing, it would be so much easier to share one dress. Mine. But there was no way I’d do that. She could just wear her Sunday clothes! She was not stealing all of my work and planning!

  The pattern she’d picked was beautiful. But outrageously complicated. Far harder than mine, and she was looking at me very closely, hoping for a reaction. I wouldn’t give her one.

  “We’ll have to make some modifications,” Mom said, looking like she was thinking deeply. “Have you picked out the material?”

  Rorey gave me a sideways glance. “Not yet.”

  Mom suddenly didn’t look a bit perturbed. “Well, then. We’ll have to go to town this very day. Does the young lady you brought along know how to sew?”

  She didn’t. She didn’t seem to know how to do anything except come around with Eugene and his friend when we got back from town and try to get Rorey to go out drinking with them. And Rorey went too, expecting Mom and me and Mrs. Post and Katie to make progress on her dress while she was gone. Until Mom put her foot down. The second night when Rorey was fixing to leave again, Mom took hold of her and laid it out straight.

  “You are getting married in six days. If you want us to work another minute on that dress of yours, then you need to show us you really want it. If you leave tonight, especially to visit a tavern, we won’t touch it again. And you can find yourself something else to wear and another place to get married. If you want a nice wedding on this property, then you need to give it your full attention.”

  Rorey was stunned. “But you know what to do.”

  “That’s not the point.”

  “Why can’t I just wear Sarah’s dress? I lost weight. It’ll fit. I thought sure you’d talk her into it because we don’t have time.”

  Now Mom was as angry as I’d been. “That’s not Sarah’s fault or her obligation. You can wear your church clothes if we run out of time. And there’s more besides that to think about. You have a lot of work to do, and I should think your friends would want to help.”

  “But . . . I told them you’d take care of everything. You always have.”

  Mom shook her head. “We work together here. You’ve known that since you were a little girl. But now you’re a grown woman. And you know how to act like one.”

  “You don’t want me to go out at all?”

  “Not till the dress is done and every other detail of your wedding is taken care of. I’m not doing another thing for you unless you’re working just as hard for yourself.”

  Rorey was mad. But she didn’t say so. She went to the car and talked to Eugene and his friends and they left without her. She walked back in looking pretty upset.

  “They really wanted me to go with them tonight,” she told me privately.

  “Too bad,” I answered her.

  She stared at me in shock. “Don’t you like me anymore, Sarah?”

  I had to sigh. But I didn’t feel like being anything but honest. “I’ll always love you. But I haven’t liked your ways in a long time. I know you’ve been through hard things, but you’re not the only one. You didn’t have to get so irresponsible.”

  “About what?”

  “Your wedding plans, for one thing. And the drinking. Didn’t you learn what a problem that was when your father was doing it? Why do you want to bring more trouble on yourself?”

  “We’re just havin’ fun.”

  “Like rolling downhill into a mud puddle. Maybe it looks like fun on the way down, but eventually all you’ve got is a mess.”

  “I don’t drink like Pa did. I’ve only been drunk once or twice, and I’m always with my friends so we get home just fine—”

  “You know better. That’s all I’m saying. You know it’s trouble, and you know that when there’s work to be done, that’s where you need to be.”

  “Girls,” Mom said sternly. “There’s a dress to be sewn.”

  Rorey and I both joined her in the sitting room. Neither Katie nor Mrs. Post said a word though I’m sure they heard everything. Rorey pouted, but she dove right into the work with a will nonetheless. She really did want her wedding to be nice, even if she had been hoping we’d just take care of it all.

  Mom had redesigned the store-bought pattern. She took out the ruffly back and the sleeves that were fitted below the elbow and ballooned above. “You’ll be cooler without all that,” she said. “Would you like a shorter sleeve, or even sleeveless? It’s supposed to be plenty warm.”

  Sleeveless, Rorey decided upon, because Mom convinced her it would be elegant. I knew Mom wanted to simplify our task as much as possible, but she was right. Sleeveless would look wonderful on Rorey, and she’d look trimmer without the ruffly posterior.

  Mrs. Post was working on the veil. Katie was almost finished with the underlining. Mom and Rorey went to work on the all-important bodice, and I measured and cut for the long, flowing skirt. This was going to look nice, and Rorey would be beautiful. At least I thought so. She didn’t seem convinced and even told us that one of her friends had said she should be happy to know Eugene must really love her, because he couldn’t possibly be marrying her for her looks.

  “It’s surely true that he loves you,” Katie said in response. “But I’ll bet he considers your looks to be a big extra bonus.”

  Rorey really appreciated that. And it was very gracious coming from Katie, whom Rorey had rudely ignored for most of our growing-up years.

  “When do I get to meet your boyfriend?” Rorey questioned her.

  “Maybe tonight. He’s had supper with Kirk, and he’ll probably come after a while for a little stroll.”

  “You two should go out with us,” Rorey suggested and then made a quick glance at Mom. “I mean when the dress is done.”

  “I don’t know,” Katie hedged. “Dave’s not much like Eugene. Very private.”

  “We could leave Carol and Max at a different club.”

  Katie kept her eyes on her sewing. “I’ll mention it to Dave. But I doubt he’ll be very interested.”

  Of course I knew why not. Katie had already told me that her boyfriend was very religious. He wouldn’t want anything to do with taverns and the kinds of clubs Eugene and Rorey went to. But Katie was being quiet about all that, not wanting to draw herself into the middle of things any more than necessary.

  “How about you, Sarah?” Rorey suddenly asked. “Would you and Franky like to go out with me and Eugene?”

  I figured I was already in the middle of things. So I didn’t mince words. “You know that wouldn’t work. Frank wouldn’t like your idea of fun, and you wouldn’t like him there with you.”

  “Why don’t you all just have a picnic together?” Mom suggested. “Here. Tomorrow.”

  I was very surprised. And Rorey wasn’t thrilled because she knew Eugene wouldn’t be. He seemed to be avoiding us now, even though Mom had tried to invite him to dinner. Non
e of us felt like we knew him all that well, though he had gone to the same one-room schoolhouse. He’d always been pretty much to himself, except when he’d joined his brothers to pick on Frank or mustered his courage at parties trying to get me to dance with him. I was so glad I’d never consented.

  Reluctantly, Rorey agreed to Mom’s idea of a picnic because it would give everybody a chance to get to know everybody. The whole family, and Rorey’s other friends, would be welcome. That might be quite a goings-on, especially with Eugene around Frank and me again. I wondered how he’d act.

  Sam and his family wouldn’t get here until the day before Rorey’s wedding. And Willy would be coming on the train that very morning. But besides that, everybody else was close enough to come to our impromptu picnic if they wanted to. Except Robert. That would leave a piece of my life and heart missing, but there was nothing we could do about it. We’d get word to Lizbeth. Maybe it would be fun, if Rorey and her friends could behave.

  We kept on sewing but talked about the picnic at the same time. There’d be so much food to prepare. Rorey promised she’d help. Deviled eggs. Potato salad. Fried chicken. But goodness, how much chicken would we need?

  “Just make everybody a chicken salad sandwich,” Mrs. Post suggested. “Don’t overwork yourselves, girls. We have a lot of sewing to do.”

  Then she offered to bring us a giant bowl of chicken salad in the morning. And she wouldn’t take no for an answer. We thanked her. Over and over. The Posts had always been good neighbors. They’d gotten up in years and they’d slowed down a lot, but they were just as generous as ever.

  When Katie’s boyfriend came to walk with her, Frank was with him. They’d been getting acquainted, and I was glad. I’d had a feeling they’d like each other, and I was right. But I wasn’t sure why Dave and Kirk were such good friends. Kirk was so different, but maybe he hadn’t been in wartime. Maybe he wasn’t different around Dave.

  The four of us went walking together. And it was odd how Dave admitted right in front of Katie that though he hadn’t proposed yet, he was wanting to soon. Katie wasn’t surprised. They’d talked about it. And agreed together that they shouldn’t become engaged till after our wedding since it was so close.

  “We don’t want to take attention off of you,” Katie said.

  “And Rorey,” I muttered. But nobody seemed to hear me.

  Frank said he wouldn’t care at all. He didn’t need the attention anyway. And I wondered if there was something wrong with me to appreciate Katie’s sentiment so much, and still be so aggravated at Rorey. Was I just selfish and proud? Probably. Didn’t Frank see it? Why in the world did he think I was the right match for his selfless, ministering heart? I felt miserable about that, turning it around in my mind, until Katie noticed how quiet I was.

  “Everything all right, Sarah?”

  I wasn’t sure how to answer. “Um. Yeah. It’s just we have so much more to do.”

  Frank took my hand. “Are you sure that’s all?”

  This was the absolute worst time, but with his silvery eyes looking at me with such tenderness in them, I couldn’t stop myself. I started to cry.

  We were close to a pasture fence, and Frank leaned against it and took me into his arms. “What’s wrong?”

  “Should we go on alone for a while?” Katie asked.

  I nodded, though I hated to send her away. I didn’t really know Dave yet. And I was terribly embarrassed, though he wasn’t looking at me.

  They walked on down the fence row, and Frank just held me close. I leaned my head into his shoulder and tried to listen for his heartbeat. Oh, God, why can’t I be more like him?

  “Can I do anything, Sarah Jean?”

  I shook my head. “Just keep holding me.”

  “Do you wanna talk about somethin’?”

  He waited so quietly. And it took me a long time to coax the words out. “I feel like a spoiled child that doesn’t want to share. I don’t really even want Rorey here. She seems to be one problem after another, like she just wants to ruin everything. But she’s your sister. And I love her too. Why can’t I be more like you? You don’t get upset when they want to take some of our attention. You welcome it, because you don’t care about attention anyway. But me! I want it to be my day. Just like I’ve dreamed since I was a little girl. I want it to be my whole week. And all of my preparations and things to be only for us. Not her. Do you hear how selfish I sound? It’s terrible. I’ll bet you’re glad they’re here.”

  I could feel him drawing in a deep breath, the lift of his chest, and then the gentle fall. “I try to be.”

  The words were sad, and I looked up at him, too surprised to answer.

  “It’s not Rorey that bothers me so much as Eugene. Pray for me. I think tomorrow’s picnic’s a good idea, but it won’t be easy. I hope I don’t let him keep me on edge. It’s bothered me a long time ’bout him takin’ her off down a terrible path the way he’s done. She never did no drinkin’ before. And Harry told me he asked if she was expecting, and she answered that she didn’t know.”

  Silence hung between us for a moment, and I knew there was anger beneath Frank’s surface calm. It seemed so out of character that I didn’t know what to tell him. But of course, it was natural. She was a younger sister, after all. Why wouldn’t he feel protective, even fiery under the circumstances? I wondered about Kirk, who had far less self-control than Frank did. How was he reacting to this? Maybe he was the one we’d better watch tomorrow.

  “I know they both were upset when Lester died,” Frank said softly, bowing his head. “Shoot, we were all struggling. On top a’ losin’ Joe, and Pa. And Robert gettin’ hurt. We were all upset. Lord, I thought for a while that maybe she’d gone crazy with it.”

  I drew close again and squeezed him tight. How well I remembered those difficult days. I, too, had thought Rorey simply couldn’t handle losing a brother, and then her father and her fiancé too. But Lester had been Eugene’s brother. For Rorey to run off with Eugene to St. Louis had been a dreadful shock. “She made her own choices as much as Eugene did,” I reminded him.

  “I know. But Eugene only lost Lester. Rorey lost Lester plus Pa and Joe. He shoulda known she was vulnerable. He shoulda helped her mourn around family for a while instead of whiskin’ her off to the city and fillin’ her emptiness with a bottle. I guess it’s a wonder she hasn’t had a child before this.”

  “Frank—”

  “There wasn’t none of us blind, Sarah Jean, not even back then.”

  I sighed. “Is Kirk this upset?”

  “You remember the fight he got in over the barn fire?”

  “Oh yes. But that was Willy’s idea, not his.”

  Frank nodded. “But he’s boilin’ just the same. An’ he already told me to look out when Willy gets here. Bert’s told him about things in his letters, an’ he wrote back that he’d like nothing better than to beat the tar out of Eugene when he gets the chance.”

  “He can’t! It’ll be their wedding day!”

  “Willy does pretty much what he wants to do.”

  “Oh, Frank! Kirk wouldn’t help him, would he? Or Harry, or Bert?”

  “I don’t suppose Bert would. It’s not in him, I don’t think. And you know I can’t.”

  “Maybe you can talk to them. Maybe you can keep them calm.”

  “I’m not sure I can.” He sighed. “You’re wondering about yourself, Sarah. But look at me. Up in Camp Point I’m known as a minister of the gospel, but part of me don’t even want to keep ’em calm. Let ’em do what they will and let Eugene take his licks. He’s brought it on himself, drivin’ in here with his drinking friends and acting like we all owe him somethin’.”

  He squeezed my hand, and the strength in his grasp surprised me. His next words were calm, but I knew the anger was still alive in him. “He told Harry that Rorey’s family wasn’t doin’ enough. We oughta pay for the dinner with his folks the night before the wedding and a hotel for him and Rorey afterward. Plus the wedding reception. He think
s we oughta pay for pretty much everything except that dress you all are making. And your folks helped pay for that.”

  “Maybe he lost his job,” I suggested. “We know his family is poor.”

  “That’s not all there is to it. We don’t mind paying some, ’cause she’s our sister and she’s got no folks. But what about his part? When’s he take up his responsibility? He’s not even buyin’ her a house. They’ve got some dingy rented apartment above a meat market where the bedroom smells like liverwurst and the rats run up and down inside the walls at night.”

  He pulled away just a little and grabbed the fence with one hand. “She’d be better off without him. Back home with Emmie and her brothers.”

  “But she wants this.”

  He bowed his head. “She never did know what was good for her, Sarah Jean. Don’t be mad at her. She’s like a foolish little kid runnin’ after the first fella with a lollipop.”

  I hugged him. But there was nothing I could say to make this better. We couldn’t stop Rorey if she wanted to marry Eugene Turrey. Even talking to her about it might only make things worse, because it might alienate her from her family more than she’d already been. I knew Frank worried for her. It was quite a burden. I felt ashamed that I’d so often let petty things bother me.

  “I’m hopin’ Lizbeth’s got some wise thoughts on all this,” Frank said. “An’ I guess I’m hopin’ too that she can rein in Willy. He never much listened to me.”

  If anyone could, it would be Lizbeth. She was the oldest, except for Sam, and she’d been like a mother to the younger ones since their mother’s passing.

  Frank told me that my feelings toward Rorey weren’t strange at all and I shouldn’t feel bad for them. I wished I could tell him that there was so much more going on inside my head, but he already looked so sad I didn’t want to make things worse.

  “All you want is for Rorey to let you have your special time,” he said with a sigh. “That ain’t half so bad as hoping my soon-to-be brother-in-law’ll get run out of town. But I guess I’m tryin’ not to hope that. I been prayin’ for him. Lot better if he’d come to know Jesus. That’d be the beginnin’ of better days for Rorey, no doubt about that.”