Mr. Big

by Colleen Lewis

  The two officers stood and waved Nelson outside, leaving Jennifer alone in the room. She was stunned. Why would they ask her that in front of him? Suddenly, the first officer walked back into the room and sat in front of Jennifer across the table.

  “Why did you say you weren’t talking to your mother?” he asked. “Do you know that she called us right after you told her that Nelson punched you in the face?”

  “There is no way I would admit that here in front of Nelson,” Jennifer snapped. “He’d go out of his mind, mad, if he knew I told Mom that. I was afraid he was going to slap me right there.”

  There was a look of realization on the officer’s face.

  “I’m sorry, Jennifer. I guess we could have been a little more considerate,” he said. “So, is it true? Did he assault you that day?”

  “Yes, he did,” replied Jennifer.

  “Well, he is going to be charged, and he’ll have to go to court,” said the constable. “But you need to be somewhere safe. Tonight you will be staying at the transition house. Tomorrow you’ll be on a flight back to Newfoundland.”

  That night the police drove Jennifer back to the house, where she gathered up her few belongings. Most importantly, she got the two tubs containing Karen and Krista’s precious belongings.

  She made the police promise to have them returned to Newfoundland safely. Before Jennifer knew what was happening, she was back on the island.

  61

  She could hardly believe she was back in Newfoundland again.

  After landing at Gander Airport, her mother and Pat picked her up and brought her to St. Alban’s to stay with them.

  And once again, the police secured a room at the transition house in Gander. She understood that Nelson had also moved back by now. But this time she would not be lured back to Nelson, because she longed for a place to call her home. This time she would have her own place.

  With some help, Jennifer moved into a small basement apartment after being in the transition house for a little more than six weeks.

  It wasn’t much, but it was hers. It was comfortable, clean, and, most of all, peaceful.

  Not long after, she got her first phone call.

  “Nelson just wants to go for a coffee.”

  As she always did, eventually Jennifer gave in. She already felt defeated as she made her way to the local Tim Hortons. She knew Nelson was there waiting. And she also knew that once they began talking, it was only a matter of time and they would be together.

  She made each step knowing that it was against the advice of the police. It was against the wishes of her own family. Everyone was convinced that he had killed Karen and Krista, and deep down Jennifer believed it, too.

  “Hi,” she said. Nelson was waiting for her at one of the tables. He had already purchased her a tea and some cookies. If there was one thing Nelson was good at, that was making amends.

  But maybe. Just maybe, he had changed. Jennifer hoped.

  62

  “Come on in,” she called. Jennifer had just made a fresh pot of coffee, and she was cooking up a meal of spaghetti.

  She’d been living on her own now for the past month, and she was quite proud of the little home she’d made for herself on Corrigan Street. And although she had no intentions on getting back with Nelson, he was now visiting at least once a day.

  Nelson opened the door and stepped inside. He took off his jacket and hung it on the doorknob. Jennifer was already busy plating their dinner.

  “How did your day go?” she asked him.

  “All right, I suppose. Mom’s getting on my nerves, though,” he said.

  Jennifer knew that Nelson and his mother’s relationship hadn’t improved at all over the past few months. He often talked about how hard it was for them to get along.

  “I need to get out of this town,” he said. “I need a break from all this.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Mom is driving me crazy, and everywhere I go, people are looking at me strange,” he said.

  Jennifer knew it was true. Over the past several weeks he had shared stories about people making him uncomfortable. She’d even heard one story about a man at a local bar who punched him three times. Once for Jennifer, and twice for each of the girls. A part of her pitied him, even though her memories of being struck weren’t far from her thoughts.

  “Well, I won’t be moving anymore,” Jennifer said bluntly. “I’m not moving away from the girls’ graves ever again.”

  “It doesn’t have to be that far away,” he said. “I’d be happy enough in Grand Falls, I think. At least nobody out there knows me.”

  Jennifer had no desire to move. Not even an hour away in Grand Falls. In fact, she didn’t care to live with Nelson at all. But each day, he came by for a visit. He seemed to be a changed man. There were no moods, and he was mostly polite. Each day he told the same story about his uneasiness and worries, until finally Jennifer agreed to move once more.

  She wasn’t sure whether it was pity or love that put her back on the same old course. Back with Nelson.

  63

  During her time in her own apartment, Jennifer had at least managed to gather up some more furniture. So starting over in Grand Falls wasn’t as difficult as it had been on the mainland.

  She and Nelson moved the furniture into an older building on Lincoln Road, and she was hoping that this would be the time her life would change for the better. For weeks now there were no mood swings. The only time he seemed to have a problem was when she wanted to talk about Karen and Krista. It was a subject that Nelson avoided.

  They carried their furniture up the stairs, and by that same evening Jennifer had unpacked enough for them to have their first night in a proper bed. But the next morning, Jennifer felt anything but rested.

  “Did you hear that scratching?” she asked Nelson.

  “No, I didn’t hear anything.”

  “I’m sure I could hear rats running through the walls all night long,” she said. “There was no way I was going to sleep.”

  “Oh, it’s probably just some noise the neighbours are making.”

  Jennifer got up, showered, and dressed. Breakfast wouldn’t be an issue since there was no food.

  “We’re going to have to get some groceries, Nelson,” she called out as she was fixing her hair.

  “Well, I’ve got some things I want to do first,” he said.

  Jennifer wasn’t sure what he had in mind, but Nelson was ready to go.

  “Maybe I could stay here while you do your work,” suggested Jennifer.

  “No, come on, let’s go,” he replied.

  Jennifer hopped into the passenger side of the car. She wasn’t able to drive the car, which was a five-speed stick-shift transmission.

  From their building, Nelson drove in the opposite direction of the grocery stores, to a local hotel.

  “What are we doing here?” she asked. “It’s only quarter to ten in the morning.”

  Nelson didn’t say anything. Jennifer got out of the car and followed him into the hotel. At first he tried to open the door of the lounge, but it was still closed.

  He pointed to a couple of oversized chairs in the lobby. “We can wait over here.”

  Jennifer was really hoping this wouldn’t take long. She was hungry, and they still needed groceries. She also knew what Nelson had in mind, and she was really hoping he wouldn’t spend every cent they had.

  As soon as the door to the bar opened, Nelson was out of his chair. He no longer even noticed Jennifer. He walked straight forward to a video terminal on the left. He handed Jennifer a dollar. “Go get me a Pepsi, will ya?”

  Jennifer brought his drink back and placed it on the side of the video lottery terminal. Then she sat back at a table and waited.

  She wasn’t sure how m
uch money he had put into the machine so far, but he was making minimum bets trying to win the bonus. She knew this was going to be a long day.

  By lunchtime, she was getting anxious.

  “Nelson, why don’t you give me a ride home, and you can come back here,” she said.

  “No, stay here with me,” he said. “I won’t be much longer.”

  If she were able to drive the manual transmission, she probably would have left already. Instead, she was forced to wait.

  By mid-afternoon, she figured she’d try once more.

  “Come on, Nelson,” she pleaded. “Let’s go get something to eat.”

  This time he didn’t respond, and Jennifer knew this wasn’t a battle she could win.

  “I’m walking home,” she said.

  “No, you’re not,” he said. “You’ll stay here and wait for me. You don’t have keys to the apartment, anyway.”

  “Well, give me the keys,” she said.

  He turned to give her a warning glare. “That’s my apartment, and these are my keys,” he snapped. “You can wait.”

  Nelson continued to play the machine until after midnight. Then he sat and watched the machines to see which ones had accumulated the biggest bonus. The plan was to come back in the morning as soon as the doors opened. That was his strategy for winning.

  But for Jennifer there was no winning. She quickly realized that things had not changed at all. Now she was back with Nelson again, despite knowing the difference. Deep down she knew nothing would change. She knew there was a possibility she could be physically hurt. But here she was, doing exactly what she knew she shouldn’t.

  64

  Jennifer poured herself a cup of tea while Nelson got his coffee. He used the last couple of slices of bread to make toast, and Jennifer got dressed. She was expecting the usual routine of hitting the bar so Nelson could try and grab the bonus off the machine. But Nelson had other plans today for the first time in weeks.

  “Let’s go for a drive to Lewisporte,” he said. Jennifer wondered how he had money for gas when they didn’t have a bite to eat in the house. But she didn’t question it. She was just glad to get a break from sitting in the bar and watching Nelson playing the slots for hours on end.

  Nelson didn’t bother gassing up before they left Grand Falls–Windsor, and when they hit the highway she noticed the gas gauge was reading about a quarter tank. She assumed they would have enough to get out there.

  But after a quick drive around the town of Lewisporte, Nelson was ready to head back. He pulled into the local gas station.

  Jennifer stayed in the car and watched the dollars and cents roll away on the old pump. Fifty dollars in total. Nelson made his way into the gas bar, and Jennifer watched as he pushed the buttons on the debit machine.

  He walked out and sat in the seat with a sigh.

  “My debit card isn’t working,” he said.

  Jennifer wasn’t surprised. He started the car and started to pull away from the gas station.

  “You can’t leave!” she yelled.

  “I told them I will come back tomorrow with the money.”

  But Jennifer knew he had no intentions of following through. And in the days and weeks ahead, the phone was constantly ringing. It was the owner of the gas station demanding his money.

  “Nelson, you have to pay them for the gas,” she pleaded. “If you don’t, they will never stop calling. Let’s go to the store, get a money order, and at least send them a payment.”

  But the payment wasn’t enough.

  A week later, Jennifer and Nelson were walking into the mall when they were approached by a man.

  “Are you Nelson Hart?” he asked.

  “Yes,” said Nelson as he took the envelope from the guy. As soon as he looked down, Nelson knew what was in his hand. A summons to appear in court.

  “You rotten son of a bitch,” Nelson started to yell. He threw the envelope at the sheriff, screaming the whole time. “You won’t see me in court, you fucker!”

  After they left the mall, they headed down the busiest street in town when the flashing red and blue lights pulled up behind them.

  Nelson was put in handcuffs and led to the police car.

  “Can you take the car home?” the officer asked Jennifer.

  “I can’t drive a standard transmission,” she replied.

  So the police drove Jennifer back to the apartment while Nelson was taken to the detachment to wait for a court appearance.

  Jennifer was home for about an hour when the phone rang. It was Nelson.

  “I need for you or Mom to get me out of this!” he begged.

  “There isn’t anything either of us can do now,” said Jennifer.

  The next day, Nelson got his day in court, along with a year’s probation.

  65

  Jennifer sat in the apartment. She was hungry, because last week’s donation from the food bank had run out and they wouldn’t be open again until tomorrow. The cupboards were bare except for a box of tea.

  And even if there was food, now the only place to eat was on the coffee table. Nelson had sold the dining room table, opting instead to use the money to try and regain some of his losses from the slot machine.

  Without a bed, they were sleeping on the floor, and each night Jennifer could hear the rats scurrying through the walls. She slept, fearing that one of them would wake her up by chewing on her face.

  “Come on,” said Nelson. “I’m going over to Dooley’s.”

  “I don’t want to go,” she protested. “I’m sick of spending all my time at he bar.”

  “You are going!”

  Jennifer could see one of his moods coming on, but she didn’t care. She was fed up living like this.

  “This is not your apartment, and you’re not staying here.” He walked up to her, face to face.

  Jennifer could see the cold look in his eyes, and she felt his fist, and her feet came up off the floor. Suddenly, she was falling. The back of her head was the first part of her to strike the floor, and she could feel her entire body bounce back into the air. Her ears rang. But she knew from the look in his eyes that to stay on the floor only meant more trouble.

  Even though the world went black for a moment, she jumped up and ran straight for the door. She fumbled with the doorknob and turned back for a moment. And in that moment all she saw was the knife in Nelson’s hand. She ran down the hallway and looked back. Thank God he wasn’t following.

  Outside, she sat on the step. Waiting for the ringing in her ears to stop. She also felt dizzy, to the point where she resisted the urge to throw up.

  Suddenly, the door burst open. It was Nelson. He walked with determination right past her, to his car, and climbed inside.

  Jennifer could see him sitting behind the wheel fumbling with something. She couldn’t tell what he had in his hands, so she backed up toward the building to a corner where he couldn’t see her.

  For the next five hours she sat on the step. She kept watching.

  Finally, Nelson decided he’d had enough of the waiting game and opened the door of the building for Jennifer.

  She followed him to the apartment, where he put the key in the lock and let her in.

  66

  A week later and Jennifer’s head still hurt. In fact, she felt like something had cracked that day her head hit the floor. Yet she chose to keep it to herself, and she didn’t bother going to the hospital.

  But the one thing she couldn’t handle anymore was sleeping with the sound of the rats.

  “Hello, Harry,” she said into the phone. “When is the new apartment going to be ready?” When the phone rang, she hoped that it was a call telling them they could move in earlier than expected.

  “I’ve got some bad news,” he said. “The guy who was living ther
e is in the hospital. The problem is his family turned off the heat and the pipes have burst, flooding the apartment.”

  Jennifer was devastated. She could hardly wait to get out of this building.

  “Can I come up and have a look?” she asked.

  “Sure, but you’ll see that this is going to require a lot of fixing up.”

  Jennifer was so anxious, she already had a plan in place. If she could do it, she was going to help in the cleanup to speed up the process.

  “Come on in.” Harry held the door for her and Nelson.

  He was right, the carpet was sopping wet and the drywall was swollen and crumbling.

  “I know how to do some plastering and painting,” Jennifer proposed.

  Harry was surprised and seemed a little unsure. But after some convincing, he told Jennifer to go ahead and pick up the supplies. He would dry the carpets out and she could do the rest.

  Two days later and the carpets were dry enough to get to work. When she got to the apartment the new sheets of drywall were there waiting. But there were still a few things she would need.

  “Nelson, can you give me a ride to the store?”

  67

  It was a mild day for February, and Jennifer was only wearing a light jacket. Nelson parked the car in front of the dollar store, and Jennifer set about to find everything she needed. Fixing up the apartment would be reward work. When she finished the repairs, Jennifer would get to pick out her own colours and have everything freshly painted. From the hardware section she found scrapers and putty knives. She also figured this would be the perfect place to get her paintbrushes, a tray, and some drop cloths for the carpet. With a freshly cleaned carpet, the last thing she wanted to do was to get paint splatter all over everything.

  “Look Jennifer, look Jennifer. I got fifty dollars!” Nelson was skipping down the aisle like a child.

  “I got fifty dollars. I got fifty dollars!”

  “Okay, okay,” she said. “Where did you get money like that?”

  “There was a fellow in the parking lot.” Nelson was trying to catch his breath. “He came right up to the car window. He’s from Montreal, I could hardly understand a word he was saying. Anyway, he has a trucking company, and his sister drove a truck down here a while ago. He says she’s a drug addict and an alcoholic. His mother is dying of cancer, and they want to get his sister home before she dies. Apparently she’s on welfare here in Grand Falls, and he gave me fifty dollars to help him find her.”