Not Enough To Live By

by Gregory M. Thompson

  “Everyone's taken,” Russ replied. “I'm going solo.”

  I smiled. So far, Russ sounded like a good man.

  We took a left at an intersection and stopped in front of a set of thick double doors. Russ knocked once. A quick rap that bounced off the walls.

  A minute later, a soft voice said, “Who is it?”

  “Russ,” he said. “I have someone.”

  Nothing happened right away. “They're being safe,” Russ said to me.

  “I don't blame them.”

  Soon, on the other side of the door, chains rattled. That was followed by the links sliding through push handles and crashing to the floor in a loud, metallic clang. Someone pushed from the other side with a clunk, and Russ poked his hand in the middle break and pulled the door open the rest of the way.

  We stepped inside. As soon as we were clear of the door, it was quickly shut and the chains rapidly reattached to the handles. A young man about twenty or so finished the job with a grunt as he clicked a large lock closed.

  I stood in the school's cafeteria. Many of the tables and chairs had been piled against the far windows, which ran along one entire side of the room overlooking the parking lot. And Benny's. Sunlight penetrated their wall of furniture in thin lines. Other tables, and two large food carts, blocked the doors on the left side of the cafeteria. On my right was the kitchen, which had IN and OUT entryways for students to grab their trays and slide along the railing to have their food slopped onto plates by the staff. Unused trays and plates sat in the spring-loaded mechanism. It hadn't been touched in some time. Especially by students.

  “Everyone!” Russ called out.

  From the kitchen came two people. One was a girl around thirteen or fourteen and the other was a slender woman just taller than me. The girl carried a piece of bread in her dirt-caked hands. She pushed her blond hair from her face and tucked it in the collar of her shirt. The woman had dark hair in a pony-tail and wore a tank top. She either didn't wear a bra or it was extremely thin: nipples poked into the fabric I thought they might be making an escape. I smirked to myself. I hoped no one saw.

  They gathered around Russ and me, all sets of eyes giving me once- and twice-overs. I sensed awe, confusion, and suspicion.

  Russ pointed to me. “This is David. He got caught out there. He was smart enough to trust the sign, so here he is.” He pointed next to the young man. “David, that's Lucas.” He had the confused aura about him. Without being told, the girl stepped forward. “That's Katherine. No Kathy or Kath. Just Katherine.”

  “It's what my mom named me,” she confirmed. Her wonder-struck awe wanted to ask me questions, but Russ moved on to the woman.

  “That's Khloe,” Russ said. She had the suspicious look.

  “With a 'K'?” I asked.

  “Yes.”

  I looked between Khloe and Katherine. “Are you her mother?”

  “No,” Khloe said. “She was here when I arrived.”

  “Sorry, I thought with similar sounding names...”

  “My mom and dad died,” Katherine said coldly. “The second day. Zombies got in the house while we were sleeping and -”

  “No need to divulge that,” Russ said. To me: “I'm not sure there's enough food to share with you.”

  “Thought I'd check.”

  “You can stay here until it's safe to go back out. Lucas, get him a water.”

  Lucas disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a bottle of water. I took it. The plastic was cold and frosted over.

  “You have electricity? More importantly, ice?” I asked.

  “In spurts. I found a generator in the janitor's office.” Russ shook his head. “Problem is it runs on gas and the tank is almost empty. Probably only have a day or two left. Figured we'd enjoy it while we can.”

  I took a swig of water.

  “Enjoy that while you can,” Khloe said.

  I sat down at one of the cafeteria tables, the cool water soothing my throat and settling my stomach. “Thanks.” I peered down at the floor, contemplating my next move, but this group's stares made me uncomfortable. I didn't really want to wait for it to clear up outside before moving on, but I still had to play it safe to get back to my house and to Nadine so we can get traveling. “You guys can see Benny's from here, right?”

  “Right through those windows,” Lucas answered.

  “You guys happen to see a man and woman running around? Possibly using the diner as a base?” It was low chance they'd know, but if any one of them did, then I'd have a good idea of their movements.

  No one said anything right away. Lucas, Khloe, and Katherine glanced at each other like one of them wanted to say something - possibly a confirmation - but Russ stepped closer to me.

  He said, “Once or twice. I've seen them go in and out of that place, but we mainly keep watch on the doors and for zombies.”

  “But zombies are easy to avoid and take care of. People seem to be who you have to watch out for.” If these guys had been holed up here since day one, and no one had gone out into the neighborhood recently, then their perception of how it was out there was warped.

  “I'm not saying I disagree, but why put yourself in a bad situation?” Russ wasn't looking for an actual answer to his question.

  “There are a lot less people out there!” Khloe yelled. “Why worry about them!”

  “Khloe,” Russ said calmly.

  Khloe chose a table six away from me, put her head in her hands, and started crying. Katherine went to her and hugged her.

  “She lost her two sons,” Lucas whispered.

  I nodded. “Look, I'm sorry. It's just bad out there. I didn't mean to assume neither of you had experienced anything worse than me.”

  “We know,” Russ said.

  “So, are you guys waiting it out here?” I asked.

  Russ nodded. “Nothing else to do.”

  “Until your food supplies disappear, or the zombies get in. They are more of them than when it started. That's why I was caught out there.”

  “We're okay on food for a while,” Russ said. “And we're well-barricaded. But thanks for the obvious information.”

  “I'm just trying to help you see future problems,” I said. “I've been out there. I've had to search for more food. The more days that go by, the slimmer the chance you'll find anything anywhere. That's only around here. I haven't been but a block or two in each direction. To be honest, I also haven't seen many people. I'm sure many stay inside their homes, but that might be beyond this neighborhood; it's not comforting to know the zombie population is taking over this area. Possibly this town. When your food supply dwindles down where it won't sustain all four of you, then one or more of you will have to go out in search of supplies. By that time, it could be more dangerous than it is now. You could get injured or killed, and then where would you be? Fewer people and right where you started. But you need to think about this too: no door or barricade will hold them back forever. The more there are, the stronger they are. Windows can break, doors can fall. The one thing you can do to combat that is to be smarter than the future.” I had no idea a speech like that was inside me. Why was I trying so hard to convince these people to be more aware? I just met them; Russ, Lucas, Katherine, and Khloe didn't really mean anything to me.

  “Remind me never to have you give a pep talk to anyone,” Russ said with a tiny smile.

  While I didn't care about any of them - like characters in a book you invested no emotion in and when they died you turned the page as if they were dirt you shoved around with your foot - what I told them was what being human was all about, right? Be kind fellow man and all that.

  “There's some hope. I can say that,” I said.

  By this time, Khloe had collected herself. When I said there was some hope, she and Katherine sat at my table. Lucas joined me, the word hope lighting his face.

  “Go on then,” Russ said.

  “I met a man a couple days ago who still had communication with someone. Someone in the milit
ary or government, I think. I'm not sure. But I kind of got to know him. And I trusted what he said. He had maps and a ham radio. He kept tabs on certain Safety Zones.”

  “We've heard this. The Electronics Club had a ham radio. Lucas was in that club, so luckily, we had someone who knew how use it.” Russ's body loosened. “It broke last week. We had considered going to Freeport, but the day we planned to leave, Lucas heard chatter it had fallen to the zombies.”

  “Ed - the guy I met - heard that too,” I said. “It fell pretty quick. But he told me about another place. Down south. Rend City. I went to his house earlier, and he told me Rend City still stands. It's built better than Freeport. Like they learned from their mistake of Freeport.”

  “At the risk of lives, probably,” Khloe said.

  “I'm not sure,” I said. “As soon as I get back home, my wife and I are heading there. I'm telling you guys because there's hope out there.”

  “And you believed this Ed?” Lucas asked.

  “I do - did believe him. He died.”

  “Russ, we should go,” Lucas said.

  “No!” Khloe bellowed. “We are perfectly safe right here! We got plenty of food. And this school is good shelter! No reason to believe this guy and risk ourselves for a little...a little hope.”

  “Now, let's not dismiss David's claim,” Russ said. “I think it's a good idea. We all promised that decisions would be made by everyone, by a vote. Is this still the case? Because this is a big decision that affects us all.”

  Lucas and Katherine nodded quickly, but Khloe...she was going to be the problem. I walked to the windows and peeked through a gap in the tables. Benny's had been overrun by zombies; they filtered in and out as if ordering food to go. Though from what I could tell, the mass of zombies I'd encountered before yelling “RUSS!” had lessened. I had no more time to waste.

  “Look guys,” I said. “I appreciate the democracy thing you have going on, but I must leave. I have to get back to Nadine.” I went back to the group.

  “Are you crazy?” Katherine said.

  “I can't leave my wife at home alone too long. She'll worry about me. And we're going to Rend City.”

  “So are we,” Russ said.

  “What?” Khloe asked. She more said it as a high-pitched, incredulous scream.

  “I want to go too,” Russ said. “So that's three to one.”

  “Democracy, my ass!” Khloe detached herself from the girl and stomped off to the kitchen.

  Russ chuckled. “She's been antagonistic since the day she got here. I'm beginning to think that's how she was before everything. I don't think this world made her change.”

  “Some people change, some don't,” I replied.

  “We're going with you. She'll come around; she won't stay here by herself. No survival smarts,” Russ said, tapping his temple.

  “I didn't mean for you to come with me,” I said. “I only told you so you know there's possibly a place out there. From what I saw of the map, just follow Interstate 57 south until you reach Rend Lake. The city is just past that. I think it's about three hundred miles.”

  Russ shook his head. “No, no, no.”

  Lucas grabbed my arm and pleaded. “You have to let us go with you!”

  “I'm sorry,” I said. “My wife and I are going there ourselves.”

  “David, David,” Russ said. “A bigger group is beneficial. More eyes means better safety, longer rests. The old saying 'there's safety in numbers' really applies to this situation. To just about anything in this world now.”

  “Nadine and I have made it fine so far.”

  “Yes, but in a house.” Russ looked out the window. “How many close calls did you have when you went out? How trusting are you of people out there? You trusted the old guy. And you should trust us: if we wanted to hurt you by now, we would have. But we're not those kinds of people, and I know you're not the kind of person to leave a group willing to help you get to Rend City.”

  “I don't know,” I said. I was really confused now. Deep down I knew I shouldn't leave them here, especially since they had a kid, but Khloe frightened me. Not in a scary way, but in an unstable way. I guessed none of them had really been out there, and my fear was once they got outside, they'd panic and compromise everyone else in the group. But turning them down outright? Nadine wouldn't approve.

  “Lucas, get some food from the kitchen,” Russ commanded. “We'll give you food to show you some faith. Go home and get Nadine. Talk it over with her. If you come back, then you've obviously made the choice to allow us to go with you.” Russ placed a hand on my shoulder. “I trust you'll make the right decision.”

  When a man tells you that, I trust you'll make the right decision, you have no choice but to make the right decision, which is the decision that goes in their favor. This irritated me. One, he couldn't put allowing them to come with me on my shoulders. Two, they had a group of four. What difference would it make with two more? Three, Russ couldn't force me into making a decision I had already made the first moment he asked me.

  Lucas reappeared with a grocery bag half-filled with food. “There's a meal each for you and your wife.”

  I took the bag anyway, knowing my decision had never been based on if they were going to give me food or not. “Thank you. I will discuss it with her.”

  “And you're sure you want to go now?” Russ asked, averting his eyes towards the zombies outside.

  “Time's getting away from me. I've been here too long already. Besides, I want to get started before night comes.”

  “Understandable.” Russ led me to the door. “We'll go to the roof and find the best point for you to leave.”

  “Okay.” Lucas undid the door and we went through. I followed Russ back up the stairs and to the roof. I already knew the side with Benny's was no good, so I told Russ that. He simply nodded and went to the side I had originally reached the roof on. He looked over and turned to me and shook his head. While he checked the other short side, the one that faced out of town, I checked the rear side overlooking the baseball field. I saw my townhouse from here and imagined Nadine sitting in her chair, waiting for me so we can leave for Rend City. Waiting. I had lost track of time again, just like when I sought refuge in Ed's home.

  I scanned the area below, and while there were more zombies here than I'd like, there were a lot less of them than on any of the three sides. The ones in the ball field were still trapped behind the fence; they hadn't managed to knock it down yet. A dangerous group of twenty or so mingled together in the field behind the diamond, but I should easily maneuver around them. The only unknown part was the area between the townhouses. How difficult was it going to be to get to my door once past the field?

  “Over here,” I called out to Russ.

  He came over to the ladder, peeked over the side, and slowly lowered the ladder until it leaned safely against the building. “You sure about this?” he asked.

  I had already started climbing down when I replied, “Yes.”

  “Make the right decision!”

  I nodded, uncaring. When I nearly hit the bottom, a few zombies moved over to the ladder and reached up. They bumped the ladder dangerously; I felt it move and scrape left and right along the building. The area behind the zombies was clear, so I mustered some leg strength and leapt over their heads onto the ground at their backs. They continued to look up.

  Russ waved at me. “Go! I'll keep them distracted!”

  I turned and ran.

  The shortest distance between two points was a straight line. Something everyone learned early on in school. The only problem in the way was between point A and point B: the baseball field. Well, not so much the baseball field as the zombies inside it. Somehow there were more inside the fence than when I passed it earlier. How could they get in but not figure out how to leave?

  I dodged through the zombie throngs - some with a couple, some with five or six - and was able to pick up speed when I reached the outfield fence. Right before I entered the space between
the two townhouses, I gave a quick glance back. Russ still stood watchful on the roof. Either he was suspicious of me or hopeful I'd be returning.

  When I turned to face my door, I tripped on a fallen zombie and sprawled to the ground, my right arm catching underneath my body in an awkward way.

  When I stood, I realized a group of zombies all laid prone before me. I counted twenty-three zombies, all with some sort of head injury. And if that wasn't strange enough, one body didn't look like a zombie at all. I walked over to this one. A female, smooth skin, all her hair, clean clothes. She wasn't a zombie at all. A person. A human. What was she doing dead in the middle of all these creatures?

  A quick look around me told me I had a minute or two before any live zombies would come near.

  I knelt next to the body. No head injury, no scratches, no bites. All I could tell was she had been shot in the chest. And recently. The blood glistened in the sun, though some of the edges had started to dry. She had no weapon of her own. No pack was nearby. I surmised the zombies hadn't done this. With a gunshot wound, a person had to have done this. And this same person must have also killed all these zombies lying around.

  Like a homicide detective, I searched the woman for any identification. It was strange doing this, but I found a loose driver's license in the front pocket. The first reports out of the government, when some curfews were instituted, recommended we carry identification on us - driver's license, birth certificate, state ID. Luckily, this woman had followed those instructions. I didn't recognize her, but if I met someone who asked if I had seen someone with short blond hair, wearing black jeans and a blue top, and said her name was Molly, I could affirm that I had. They'd wouldn't have to know she died, but I could at least give them enough peace to know she had been found.

  I replaced the license and said a prayer for Molly before getting up and high-tailing to my door; a few alert zombies had been curious to what I was doing and wandered over.

  Inside, the house was quiet. Nadine wasn't in her chair as expected. That scene in some movies, where the character walks into a place so quiet you can hear a pin drop? And you can see dust motes floating in the air in slow motion? That's the scene before me. The only thing that'd make it even more authentic was a tumbleweed rolling across my vision.