by Violet Duke
âYep.â Liv got a comb and started braiding Jillyâs hair. âAccording to your physical therapist, youâre getting to be quite the little mermaid, sweetie.â
âI might even be able to go in with just the floaties at the next pool party.â Jilly did a little wiggly dance and then called out around Liv, âI asked my mommy if she could get grownup floaties for you, Tessa. That way you can come in the water too this time.â
Brian turned a questioning gaze her way as Jilly asked Liv what sort of game booths the nurses would be doing at this next party.
âFloaties?â he asked quietly, but not at all meanly.
Tessa responded with a shrugging smile. âI never got the chance to learn how to swim.â
His mouth turned down at the corners as empathy warmed his gaze, and she just knew he was about to say something undoubtedly sweetâ¦so she broke the connection and cut him off at the pass. âSo how are things going with Skylar? She hasnât skyped me since last week, but she sounded pretty upbeat when she did.â
âSheâs been doing a lot better, actually,â he replied, looking thrown by the conversational one-eighty, though he covered it up well. âThose visits you recommended have really helped. Sheâs been flat-out inspired by those kids and sheâs starting to get passionate about a lot of the projects. Just yesterday, she asked if there were things she could do to help out.â
âThatâs fantastic.â Tessa felt herself smiling her first real smile of the day. âIâm glad.â
He took a step closer and his eyes ran over her face slowly, as if cherishing each detail. âIâve missed you so much, Tessa. Could we justââ
âIâm sorry I didnât tell you about my having HD sooner,â she blurted out quietly, lowering her voice so Liv and Jilly couldnât overhear. âItâs not exactly something I advertiseâ¦but I shouldâve told you. Before weâ¦â
What? Had sex?
Became more than flinger and flingee?
He sighed raggedly. âHonestly, I understand why you didnât, but I really wish you wouldâve, sweetheart. You donât always have to take on the weight of the world alone, you know.â
Oh yes, she did. Sheâd crumble like her mom had if she didnât.
âYou may not have had the support system you needed then, but you have it now.â He reached for her hand. âPlease, letâs talk about this.â
No. She couldnât.
She couldnât allow him to be that guy. The one who could very easily become everything sheâd never dreamed possible for her life. The one who would be and do all that and more, even though heâd already gone through this once before.
She simply couldnât allow it.
Because he was already the man she loved so much, she was willing to walk away.
Backing up a step, she tried to put it all into words. âBrian, I just donât thinkââ
Livâs voice interrupted her thoughts, âOkay, Jilly, you can visit with Tessa and Brian for another ten minutes and then Iâll be back to get you changed, you hear?â
When she saw Livâs crystalline gaze slide covertly over to Brian again while Jilly called him over to show him the recent swim strokes sheâd learned, Tessa felt a knife blade of jealousy slash through her. Followed by a harsh dose of reality.
Thatâs the kind of woman whoâd be perfect for Brian.
Watching as Liv headed back over to the computer at the nurseâs station, Tessa cataloged all the stark differences between them. Though they were the same age, Liv was chic and classy, and she always had it together. Tessa was none of these things.
In the looks department, ironically, Liv was a pretty remarkable cross between Beth and Abby. Meanwhile, Tessa looked like a cross between a modern hippy and an urban gypsy. Proudly. But still.
Glancing up at her reflection on the wall opposite her, Tessa noted all the contrasts like a glaring pro and con list. With her candy apple red-tipped hair this week and her Popeye the Sailor Man shirt, she was no match for Liv.
Echoes of her conversation with her mom reverberated in her brain. He deserves better.
Yep, Liv would most definitely be that âbetter.â
Tessa came to a decision then, her feet already carrying her across the room before she lost her nerveâ¦or her lunch.
âBrian, you stay. I need to get to a meeting.â She blew Jilly a giant kiss. âSee you in a few days, Jilly-bean. Iâll bring a new video game for us next time, okay?â
Avoiding Brianâs intense gaze, Tessa gave him a quick, friendly wave as well and left the room. As she headed to the nurseâs station, she felt a thousand needles piercing her heart with each step she took. Which was nothing compared to the almost unbearable nausea that hit her when she started chatting up Livâ¦about Brian.
And still, when she left shortly after and heard Liv call out to Brian as he was leaving Jillyâs room, somehow Tessa found the strength to keep on walking.
OF ALL THE INFURIATINGâ¦
Tessa had actually set him up on a date with another woman.
Unbelievable.
Instead of letting him prove to her that her having the HD gene wouldnât affect their relationship, sheâd gone and convinced Nurse Liv to ask him out.
It didnât matter that he knew she was trying to do what she thought was best for him.
He was still pissed.
Because if sheâd just pick up her damn phone and call him, sheâd know that her conclusions on the situation were just plain wrong. The fact that heâd gone through all this once before with Beth wasnât sending him screaming in the other direction from Tessa. Maybe some would run, but not him. Heâd never go back and erase his time with Beth and Skylar, regardless of how difficult the latter half of their marriage had been. Absolutely not. Everyone reduced his marriage to Beth to her last years, her toughest ones, but he chose to remember all the others. None of the horrible challenges her disease put them both through could or would ever negate the good of their shared life together.
The same would hold true with Tessa. Of that, he had no doubt. It didnât matter if her HD symptoms started tomorrow; he wouldnât choose not to be with her for that reason. Never. Moreover, the thought of Tessa going through this without him one day made himâ¦rabid. Alpha protectiveness was a mild description of what feelings that inspired.
Now, if Brian werenât having the worldâs most awkward conversation with Liv at the moment, it was very likely heâd be chucking his brilliant let-Tessa-come-to-him plan in lieu of heading to Tessaâs apartment right now and banging down the door so he couldâ
What? He sighed. What could he do? Tell her that her feelings were unwarranted, that her methods of dealing with all of this were just plain crazy?
That wouldnât help his cause one bit.
He just couldnât believe that this was Tessaâs big solution. To set him up with Livâwho was amazingly still talking. He smiled at her, and she smiled back, ecstatic. Okay, so she was pretty and very niceâreminded him a bit of Beth, in fact. Was that what it was? He tried to see her from Tessaâs eyes, to see whatever it was that she thought was better for him than sheâd ever be. Liv was beautiful, yes. Seemingly uncomplicated so far, sure. Andâ¦well, normal.
After spending all this time with Tessa, he wasnât sure what ânormalâ was anymore, or if that was even what he wanted. Used to be. But now…
He knew what he had to do.
Preparing himself to head into completely unchartered territory, he put his hand on Livâs shoulder to put an end to her nervous rambling and asked, âDo you want to get out here? Maybe grab a bite at a quiet restaurant where we can talk?â
Liv smiledânot a rainbow-eyed smile, but a sweet, pretty smile nonethele
ss.
âIâd like that.â
Here goes nothing.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
IT WAS THREE WEEKS to the day. Three weeks since Tessa had seen Brian last. Three weeks since sheâd overheard Liv gush to her nurse friends out in the hall about how happy she was to have met such a great guy.
Three weeks since Tessa had laughed.
Because every minute of those three weeks had hurt.
Tessa had avoided Liv like the plague since the day sheâd set her up with Brian. It didnât take a genius to see that sheâd been right about that particular match. Liv was a great woman, a wonderful nurse to Jilly, and a sweet person all around. All personal feelings aside, Tessa really was genuinely happy for her. And for Brian as well. He was an incredible man, an amazing father to Skylar, and a real-deal good guy who deserved the best. In her heart of hearts, she knew sheâd done right by him by cutting things off like her mom had suggested.
But still, it hurt.
And though sheâd been able to plaster a smile on her face the few times she had run into Connor or Abby, or during her weekly skype chats with Skylar, she knew she wouldnât be able to keep up the charade around Liv. Definitely not around Brian, either.
Which was why they were now going on three weeks to the day of her avoiding them both.
And still, it hurt.
âHey, Tessa!â
Damn it, damn it, damn it. Tessa dug deep and slapped the best impression of a smile she could on her face before she turned around. âHey, Liv. Howâs everything going?â
Liv lit up like a Christmas tree. âSo incredible. The past few weeks have beenâ¦oh my gosh, I canât even describe it.â
Oh good. Please donât.
âIâve never been so happy.â
âThatâs wonderful, Liv. Iâm glad itâs all working out so well.â She was going to have to wash that last one down with some tequila later. Because right now, it was burning a jagged hole through her stomach.
And her heart.
Even though looking at Liv in all her joyful radiance was a bit like jabbing hot toothpicks into her eyes, she still appreciated what was standing there before her.
Love.
Lucky girl.
Liv gripped her arm. What do you know, hot toothpicks on skin hurt like a bitch too. âSo, Tessa, I really wanted to do something for you as a thank-you. I mean, if it werenât for what you did, I wouldnât have ended up meeting the man of my dreams.â
Okay, letâs not get carried away. It was only three weeks to the day.
âMy mom just loves him. And I absolutely adore his mother,â continued Liv, practically floating down the hall as they talked.
Well, hell. Tessa had met Brianâs mother as well, but that was only via Connor. But then again, why would Brian have introduced the girl he was having a casual fling with to his mother?
He wouldnât. Those kind of introductions were reserved forâ¦
Tessa stopped that train of thought before it crashed into the conclusion of what his introducing Liv to his mother meant.
Geez, was she still talking?
ââ¦And weâre going away for a week-long vacation next month.â
Ouch. Now that one really hurt. Time to jump off this sinking ship and into the more-than-welcome shark-infested waters. âHey, Liv. Sorry, but I really have to run. Weâll catch up more some other time, okay?â
âWait, donât go yet. I actually wanted to know if you were free tomorrow for lunch. Thereâs going to be a concert at Ocotillos.â
âOh no, thatâs okay. Iâm not much of a dancer.â
âWell then just go to have lunch. You have to. You did this amazing thing by setting me up with someone you thought was perfect for me. Now let me repay the favor. I have a good friend who I think is perfect for you.â
âWhat? Oh no, thatâs really not necessary. Thank you, but Iâm not into blind dates.â
âIâm not going to take no for an answer, Tessa. Youâre beautiful and just plain awesome. You deserve to be with a great guy. Besides, itâs just one innocent meal.â Liv crossed her arms and gave her the ânurseâ look that she used on prickly patients.
Damn, the woman was persistent. âErrrâ¦I guess if itâs just lunch.â
âGreat! Weâll meet you at eleven tomorrow outside of Ocotillos.â
âWait, we?â
âYes! Itâs a double date. Itâll be fun!â
âButââ
âOh! My break is over. Gotta run. See you tomorrow!â
And then she was off.
Tessa fell back against the wall and rapped the back of her head against it, once, twice, and then a third time just because.
A double date with Mr. and Mrs. Perfect.
This was going to be an absolute nightmare.
*
âHEY, TESSA. Wow, you look great. Howâve you been?â
Awful, miserable, heartbroken. âGood,â she lied with the smile sheâd practiced in front of the mirror for the last hour. âYou look good too, Brian. Whereâs Liv?â
âSheâs inside getting a drink. I told her Iâd stay out here and wait for you.â
Always the nice guy.
âThanks. You want to head in?â
Tessa almost fell flat on her face when she felt Brianâs hand ghost across her back.
âYou okay, sweetheart?â
The endearment was a knife to her gut. âIâm fine. Whereâd you say Liv was?â The faster she could get through this lunch, the better.
âThe concertâs on the rooftop. We have a table on the side opposite the dance floor.â
Tessa knew the way, so she hotwheeled it over to the stairwell, leaving Brian in her dust. The last thing she needed was him coming up from behind her on the stairwell.
When she got to the roof deck, she looked around.
âOur tableâs over in the corner,â came Brianâs voice, right next to her ear.
Dammit. She couldnât stop the shiver that ran through her system.
How long would his voice have this effect on her?
Forever, probably.
Brian pointed over to a booth with a reserved tag on it, and waited for her to slide inâ¦before he slid in right after her, effectively trapping her in there.
This day just kept getting better and better.
Tessa scanned the crowd, finally seeing Liv on the dance floor, dancing with a pretty handsome guy.
âSo is that my date?â she asked, acutely aware of how close Brian was sitting to her.
âWhat?â he asked in her ear.
Why in the world was the music so loud in this place?
âI asked if that guy Livâs dancing with is my date.â
âNo,â his voice rumbled across her jawline. âThatâs her date.â
Momentarily drunk off the feel of his lips skimming across her cheek, it took a while for his words to register.
Even then, it didnât make a lick of sense.
When she just stared at him, mouth agape with confusion, he smiled. âI think this is the first time Iâve managed to give you back one of your token nonsensical answers.â He moved in closer and said, âTell me the truth. Have you missed me as much as Iâve missed you, sweetheart?â
Suddenly, the music wasnât too loud anymore.
His words were ringing through clear as a bell, their only competition being the pounding of her heart.
âYes,â she replied truthfully.
His smile just about knocked her into tomorrow. âGood.â He brushed a soft kiss against her lips, before taking her hand in his. âThen come on. Iâll introduce you to Livâs date
so we can get started on ours.â
HE COULDNâT get her out of the restaurant fast enough.
After spending exactly one minute making introductory small talk with Liv and her date, Brian had ushered Tessa out of Ocotillos and into his SUV, promising simply that heâd drive her back later to get her car.
Then he took the long way around the car to get himself under control.
Three goddamn weeks since heâd seen her last. Three goddamn weeks since she gave up on them and tried to fix him up with someone else. Three goddamn weeks since heâd held the woman he was in love with in his arms.
And every second since had hurt like hell.
Heâd been up front with Liv from the very beginning. Theyâd had a nice dinner, during which, heâd poured his heart out about Tessa, and Liv had poured her heart out about the man sheâd been hopelessly in love with for two years.
Her problem was about a thousand times easier.
So theyâd tackled hers first. One call and sheâd had herself a dateâseriously, why did some women have to make the whole thing so difficult? Guys were simple beings, really. Sometimes too simple. The complicated workings of the female mind involving subtle signals over the course of two years was, nine times out of ten, way too difficult for the average guyâs brain to comprehend. A call asking him out, however…ding-ding-ding. Simple.
Thatâs when they moved on to Brianâs problem.
A much bigger problem with a far more complex female mind, the likes of which, heâd been lost without a compass and a map trying to figure out. So heâd called a full deployment, gathering Connor, Abby, Skylar, his mother, and Liv together to devise a plan.
Heâd hated their plan from the start.
Theyâd told him to give her time to sort through her feelingsâtwo to three weeks minimumâand heâd nearly walked out right then, with every intention of just stomping over to Tessaâs apartment and throwing her over his shoulder to drag her back to his cave. But theyâd worn him down eventually. And he ended up spending the next three weeks miserable as all hell following their plan to the tee.
At least it looked like itâd been worth it.