by Tara Brown
The music from the house could be heard from the long driveway; the large waterfront home seemed to have every light on inside and out.
Cars were lining the driveway as Alise found a spot up front and the shouting and hollering started up. People were baling from her old car, boys picking girls up and running with them over their shoulders and girls screaming in joy. I was certain I watched someone climb out of the trunk.
The music stopped and my heart skipped a beat for a second as Shane came out to greet us at the door which when opened revealed a pretty packed house. The huge windows in the living room looked like peeking onto a set for an American Pie movie.
He stood there looking breathtaking, “hey Aimee I’m glad you came.”
I wanted to take it the wrong way but I knew he meant because then my sister could come. I noticed out of the corner of my eye Blake stood closer to me suddenly and puffed up his chest looking at Shane or the entrance to the house rather. I blushed thinking he must have noticed my small crush on Shane and resented it.
I gave Shane a small wave and tiny smile trying not to look at his lips and imagine what they would be like to kiss.
My sister walked up and kissed him on the cheek making me want to disinfect him so I could continue my fantasy.
Blake stood at the car staring dumbfounded. Neither of he nor I had ever been to a party but after my sisters little indiscretion of not coming home a month ago our father had laid down the rule of no more parties without me as her companion, which translated into chaperone. He had bet on the fact I would never go and clearly tonight he had bet wrong but I knew deep down he was happy to see me out socializing with someone beyond Blake and relieved I would be there to keep an eye on Alise.
I looked at Blake noticing how oddly handsome he looked and suddenly I realized he didn’t have his glasses on. I wasn’t sure if Blake even owned contacts or if he was going blindly to impress the popular kids but either way he looked really nice without glasses.
I grinned at him, he looked nervous but like he was excited to be there. I was the opposite, I wasn’t nervous and didn’t want to be anywhere nears the popular people, well except one but he had been spit on by Satan like he was the last donut on the plate, so my only option was viewing him from a distance.
“You want to go in?” I asked him quietly.
He nodded, “Yeah.” He swallowed hard and we walked up to the house. He was massive with nothing in his hands to make him stoop over, standing straight in beige cords and a blue t-shirt with a science camp logo no one here would even come close to recognizing. I felt short next to him as we walked along the concrete slab walkway to the front door.
“You cold?” He asked as I felt a warm wind hit me suddenly and I shivered harshly.
I shook my head frowning as I wondered if my mom was telling me not to go in. I felt her wind a second time and decided perhaps it was my mom telling me to have a good time, she was freeing me to enjoy a regular teenager night out.
My heart couldn’t help but beat harder as my skin craved feeling that wind again.
I looked to the right and saw a guy I had never seen before. He was very tall and dark blond with the most stunning blue eyes I had ever seen, they looked like a husky dogs. Almost white blue but bright like there was a light shining out from behind his eyes. He looked like an actor in a movie not a guy at a teenager party. His face was like something you didn’t see in such a small town. I felt my breath be taken away as I locked eyes with him. I wanted to walk to him, I knew him from somewhere. He looked at me for a moment but his face seemed surprised when I pointed to him subtly, “Who is that?”
I looked up at Blake for a second but when we both looked over to the side of the house he was gone.
Blake shrugged, “I didn’t see him.”
“There are a few people from Port Handley here. They’re friends with Shane.” A girl beside me spoke softly looking to where I had pointed. I recognized her as my sister’s friend Giselle. She was easily the most beautiful girl in the world, half French and half Filipino and the best of both worlds.
She staggered slightly as she entered the house.
“Clearly not her first drink of the evening.” Blake whispered as we walked into the house smiling about the joke only we were privy to.
I looked out the window again hoping to see the guy from the neighboring town, his eyes had mystified me but he seemed familiar to me somehow almost like I had dreamt of him before. He was everything I would have imagined when describing stunning beauty.
Shaking it off I looked around the house at the drunken teenagers everywhere.
“Want a drink little sister?” Alise was beside me with a glass.
I took it suspiciously looking into the glass at what appeared to be lemonade.
“Its lemonade Aimee, remember the deal we made,” she laughed as I eyed her up. “Besides I might need you to drive home.” she sighed and walked away.
“Thanks Alise.” Blake smiled at her. He looked into the glass she had given him and took a drink. I waited a few seconds for the foam to start pouring out of his lips from the poison but it seemed harmless. I drank some as well surprised by the flavor; it was a great glass of lemonade. I was shocked Alise was actually holding up her end of the bargain, shocked and suspicious.
“It’s really loud in here, want to go to a quieter room?” I asked Blake who nodded.
People around us glared, took a second look and when it registered nerds had crashed the party they started to talk to each other while still maintaining a steady glare in our direction.
“Not in the least bit obvious are they?” Blake asked sipping his drink and looking around. His grumpy face was back; I assumed that deep down he had hoped to be accepted by them. I had never seen Blake care about what the popular kids thought or did until this moment.
We walked past the kitchen where Shane was standing in a group of the popular kids. He looked over at me and smiled. I loved how his face lit up when he saw me. I wanted to talk to him but Alise put a hand on his arm and laughed with the group of kids. Shane looked embarrassed and looked down blushing as they all continued to talk. I felt a new hurt inside my heart.
I looked over at Blake and decided it was time to start making some of my dreams come true and Blake was the answer to the question of whom, besides the one I couldn’t have, would make me happy. We found a sunroom off the back of the house where there were couches and a few couples making out. The lights were dimmer in here but the music was quieter. To me this was the place to pass a few hours till it was time to go home.
I sat on the older floral couch and admired the house, it was a very large place with a contemporary feel to it, not too modern to feel cold but crisp and clean. All but this sunroom, which was cozy.
Pictures of Shane and his sister lined the walls of the sunroom above where a large fireplace sat.
Only on the North West Coast was there a wood stove in a sunroom, I chuckled looking at it.
Blake had sat down nervously beside me. He seemed to be very uncomfortable in the make out room. I decided to go with the flow of the room and take my sisters advice.
I turned and looked him deeply in the eyes as I took a deep breath, “Blake I need to tell you something. I like you.”
He smiled, “I like you too Aims, you’re my best friend pink shirt or no pink shirt. At least it isn’t black or one of the variations.”
I shook my head starting to feel a little breathless; “No I mean I really like you, like how they like each other.” I pointed to the couples making out that clearly were fond of one and other.
I took another deep breath, “I’ve thought about this long and hard and we make sense for each other, we’re both smart and we both want to go to university and we both love intellectually challenging and advancing experiences.”
He frowned, “Like them, you like me like them?” he pointed as well and seemed to look panicked and flabbergasted.
I nodded gulping as he looked around at e
ach of them and then back to me, “Aimee you are the most incredible girl I have ever met. You’re my favorite person in the whole world. You are graduating with advanced placement in literature but at the same time rock at trig and advanced chemistry. You’re funny and really pretty.”
He started to fret.
I interrupted, “But.”
My heart dropped into my stomach.
He was sweating profusely now suddenly as he grasped at straws, “I think the world of you, and you must know that.”
I crossed my arms, “Blake I told you how I feel just say what you need to say.”
I felt myself getting angry as he flailed in front of me. My stomach was weakening waiting for the final crushing blow.
He closed his eyes and shook his head, “I wish you had never said those words Aimee. I need you in my life, the way things are. I don’t feel the same way. You are the sister I always wanted.”
I knew it was coming but it hurt more than I thought it would. I had counted on him for the last couple years to feel like a normal girl who any boy coveted, he had always been my back up plan for love. I thought that as long as he liked me it didn’t matter that all the other boys didn’t.
I knew that to be a girl who could feel good about herself I didn’t need the approval of boys but somehow believing that Blake liked me in the romantic way made me just a little more confident.
Realizing none of this was true and I truly was an unlovable monster took away my breath.
I nodded trying to avoid his eyes and feeling the weight of the discovery, “I need some air Blake. I’ll be right back.”
He put his hand out to stop me but I burst past him leaving him in the make out room alone and upset.
I didn’t hate him, I couldn’t hate him but I had been banking on him being the one I could fall back on. I was so frustrated and embarrassed. I had been so certain; all this time he had lead me to believe it. I thought of the million times he touched my hand or smiled at me but kept his gaze there, lingering almost. He came to my house every day. I thought about when my mom died and he slept in my bed with me for two weeks holding me.
Tears threatened to spring from my eyes but I looked around at the ridiculous group of drunken teenagers and I knew I would never cry in front of them.
I rushed through the back door in the kitchen and felt the refreshing wind hit me like a beacon of safety. I ran down the back steps of the deck onto the back lawn. Shane had a massive yard with a small amount of oceanfront, but honestly the whole town had either oceanfront or ocean view.
I walked to the far side of the lawn where I sat down on the cool grass. I lay back and looked up at the sky as it darkened and the first few visible stars were starting to poke their faces out.
My sister had chosen a car for our birthday but I had opted for a telescope. I wished I was at home now with it instead of lonely and embarrassed by the one guy I thought I actually had a chance with and in the back yard of the one guy I had truly liked forever.
I knew Shane was the one true person I had always wanted even though I told myself I suited Blake. Being a rational romantic wasn’t panning out like I’d hoped it would. I felt like no one would ever want me, maybe being a twit like my sister would pay off. She did seem happier than I was by a long shot. I contemplated the possibility of playing dumb and twirling my hair.
I picked up a lock of my blond mane and twirled one thick chunk. It did seem relaxing in a repetitive way but definitely couldn’t replace thinking for me no matter what.
I heard the grass beside me crunching and assumed it was Blake coming to try to rationalize with me. I prepared for the most embarrassing conversation ever. I decided standing and running was my best bet.
I panicked even more when I recognized Shane’s voice from behind me, “You okay Aimee? I saw you run out the back door. I thought maybe you were sick.”
He sat on the grass next to me and lay back. I clenched inside and tried not breathing. I contemplated the hair twirl but decided on playing it cool.
I smiled softly, “Yeah I’m not much of a partier.”
“Thanks for coming I was hoping you would come to a party at least once before grad.” He was an easy person to be around, I had noticed it right away when we were little kids.
Uncomfortable still from my inability to be loved I changed the subject, “Hey Shane who is the guy from Handley with the crazy blue eyes?” I asked desperate to have something to discuss but also truly out of curiosity.
“Wade, his family owns the gym there. He plays hockey and goes out with Melissa Grouper.” He spoke trying to jog my memory but I was coming up blank.
Thinking about him I smiled lost in the daze in my mind, “His eyes are crazy blue, it’s almost weird. I swear I know him from somewhere.” I muttered more to myself than him.
“Mmm, maybe at school. He’s pretty serious about Melissa, has been for about three years. So what’s up with you and Blake?” He asked obviously convinced, as I had been, that we were something more than friends.
“Nothing, nothing now and nothing ever. We are friends. Friends who can sleep beside each other and be comfortable but I guess that’s it. I’m destined to be alone forever I think.” The words flew out before I could really think them or my tone over.
Shane laughed, “Okay okay, jeeze you and your sister have that in common I guess, more spice in you two than sugar.”
I burst out laughing, “I’m sorry Shane. You’re right that might be the only thing we have in common, unfortunately.”
‘Besides loving you.’ I thought to myself.
I looked over at him; he was a very gorgeous guy. Sandy colored hair styled messy and a nice smile won over every girl but he had a kindness about him I found even more attractive. His face was strong but kind and his eyes held a secret passion only the person he loved would understand. He was like a treasure chest that only if you were lucky enough to find the key would you ever enjoy what was inside. He was always kind and cool around everyone but I could see the underlying passionate romantic.
He shook his head, “No you’re night and day there is no doubt. I’m kind of glad though.”
I suddenly realized he was looking at me intensely making my stomach feel weird, a good weird. I wanted him to move closer.
I wanted him to stretch his hand across the grass and take mine.
I wanted it more than anything in the world; I would have given up food, air or water to have him touch my hand, even in kindness.
“You look nice tonight, finally wearing colors again huh?” His voice seemed laced with some kind of emotion.
I looked at him quizzically, “Yeah how did you notice I was only wearing black?”
“I notice you Aimee, everyday.”
Okay and that was the magic word.
I squealed with joy in my mind but remained calm even though I was freaking out, my super hot sister’s boyfriend was hitting on me.
I didn’t know what to say or do.
Maybe he was just being nice to me, maybe I was being an over reactive idiot. His eyes didn’t seem to say kind they looked more like steamy, I smiled inside enjoying the moment.
I panicked and looked away from him pretending to look back up at the stars remembering my sister had already been there and polluted that, not that I truly cared but I needed an excuse to not like him. Whether I hated Alise or not I wasn’t going to steal my sister’s boyfriend.
I struggled in the silence now not sure what to say so I relaxed and let my harsh side, my dominant side, take over.
“I know she’s hot but I don’t actually get what people see in my sister. I know that’s mean but I would never date anyone that abusive. I guess guys tolerate a lot more than girls do though.”
He laughed his soft chuckle again but this time it sounded a little pained, “yeah otherwise the world would stop going round.”
We sat in silence staring at the stars for a long time; he was my kind of company.
“So Blake isn’t the one
for you huh?” He asked so nonchalant.
I shook my head, “Yeah. I guess I thought we should be together cause we’re the same person you know. I figured at least with him I would be safe in my choice of a boyfriend. Not very romantic huh, it’s hardly fair to make a relationship that way though. Blake isn’t interested in me like that. I kinda wished he was so then at least someone was.”
The words hurt to say but it hurt even more when my brain whispered, ‘No one is.’
“Well that sounds ridiculous. You want to keep him on stand by so that someone likes you?”
I grimaced, “everything sounds bad when you say it like that, all judgmental.”
He laughed, “Sorry I’m not really one of those sugar coat people.”