Second Chance at Forever

by Mary Wasowski

  I had no control left. I lunged at Miles, and pulled him off the couch with my hands around his neck. “Tell me you son of a bitch, why did you do it?”

  “Walker, have you lost your mind? Get off of him, now!” My mother was screaming at me to let him go.

  I finally did and Miles fell to his knees while gasping for air. I flipped over the glass table, shattering it into hundreds of pieces. I thought I was going to have a heart attack, my heart was beating so fast. I had never in all of my life lost control, and to physically assault someone was completely out of character for me. I stood there in silence watching Miles struggle to breathe. Once recovered from my second assault, Miles was re-joined by mother sitting by his side on the sofa. All alarms went off in my head when I saw him cover her hand with his own. What the fuck? My father is dead for merely a month, and his best friend moves on to his wife? My mother? He doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell if he thinks I will ever allow this to happen.

  “Olivia, please leave us. I need to speak to your son.” He stared my mother down, and against her better judgment, she exited the library, but not before giving Miles a small smile.

  “Walker, if you let me explain, I will tell you everything.”

  “Miles, you had your chance to come clean to me. I trusted you, and I loved you probably more than my own father. How could you betray me like this?” I fixed myself a double scotch and sat down. I turned to the wall to see my father’s portrait hanging in all of its glory. I wanted to tear it down and shred it. I could feel his eyes staring back at me. This room was filled with his ghost.

  “When you began dating Ms. Mitchell, your father had asked me to do a background check on her. I, of course, didn’t say no to his request. Your girlfriend didn’t have anything come up in the background check. We saw no red flags at the time. After her parents had died, she was raised by her grandparents. She attended college in Georgia for a few years before transferring to NYU. I was about to deliver my report to your father when my investigator found additional information. He found the naked modeling photos and the whereabouts of the photographer who originally took them. I tried to explain to your father how she, along with the other models, were victimized by this photographer, but he wouldn’t listen. Phillip wanted to expose Ms. Mitchell as someone who wasn’t worthy of the Reed name. He did have her followed, and that’s how we knew she was pregnant. I thought after learning this news, he would have changed his mind about her, but he remained firm in his decision. That morning we waited for you to leave, and then we confronted Ms. Mitchell with what we knew.”

  “What if I had never left that morning? What would you have done next? Call out ‘I object,’ as I recited my vows to her at our wedding?” I poured myself another drink. This was too painful to hear. “Miles, where did Elizabeth fit into my father’s grand scheme?”

  “Walker, if you believe anything, please believe this: Elizabeth did not have anything to do with this. Your parents were friends with her family, and your father always fancied Elizabeth. He would say how she was your perfect match.”

  “The hell she was, Miles. My match was Reese. Elizabeth was only a friend. I never had feelings for her, and the fucked up part of all of this is that she knew and accepted me anyway.”

  “The story was fabricated by Phillip. I swear to you, she didn’t know. After Ms. Mitchell left town, Elizabeth was just at the right place, at the right time. Your father was thrilled that you were spending time together with each other.”

  “Wake the fuck up, Miles. You know why I was with Elizabeth? It’s because I was using her to fill the black hole that Reese left me with. I was drowning myself in scotch, then fucking her to feel something other than pain. Each time I spent with Elizabeth ripped my heart out even more. Don’t stand here and try to make it sound like it was a blossoming romance. I only stayed with Elizabeth after finding out she was pregnant. Finally getting my shit together, we married, and then she fucking died, leaving me alone to raise Jackson. I hope you’re happy on how it all worked out.”

  I took the decanter that contained my father’s favorite scotch, and heaved it at his portrait. I never wanted to taste scotch again. “Did my mother know about this? You might as well tell me all of it.”

  “No, she didn’t, Walker. Your father never discussed these matters with Olivia. Your mother at the time was quite shocked after your break-up with Ms. Mitchell.”

  “Miles, we didn’t break-up! You and my father broke us. Aren’t you going to even ask about the baby? Or do you know that my child is dead?”

  “I know, Walker. I kept surveillance on Ms. Mitchell and was alerted of her arrival when she came back to New York. Your father didn’t want Ms. Mitchell seeking you out, so we had her watched. Unfortunately, we found out that she was rushed to the hospital and later lost the baby.”

  “Wow, you certainly are dedicated to your work, Miles. You could have told me then, Miles. I would have never moved forward with Elizabeth had I known about this. Just how many sins do you have on your conscience in the name of Phillip Reed?”

  “Too many to count, son. I am very sorry for all that I did to you. I will never be able to repent for what I have done to you and to Ms. Mitchell. I can’t tell you what was going through your father’s mind at the time; he would never listen to reason. Here is what I wanted to give you from your father. I don’t know what this box contains, but I was under strict instructions to make sure this was delivered to you.”

  “Miles, what if my father hadn’t died? Would I still be receiving this mystery box?”

  “I don’t know, Walker. He never once amended his will until last year after he suffered his first heart attack. Shortly after he recovered; he called me and asked me to revise his will.

  He handed me the box with the instructions attached to it. Walker, I have told you everything. I am so sorry. I will be leaving now.”

  “Miles, I have one more thing to say before you go. You. Are. Fired. You’re no longer employed with Reed Global, and your office has been cleaned out with your personal effects sent to your residence. Don’t ever come near my family again! This includes my mother.”

  Without any parting words, Miles Jacobson turned away from me and left our home. My mother came in shortly after to check on me.

  “Oh Walker, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what your father did to you. I should have been a better mother to you and not let Phillip do the things he did. Can you ever forgive me? You and Jackson are all that I have left. Please don’t punish me because of your father. Forgive me? Please, Walker, I will not lose you.”

  “Mother, there is nothing to forgive. I would never keep Jackson from you. He is his own man, and he loves you very much. This is between my father and me. He did this, and now I have to pick up the pieces of the life that I thought I had lost. Mother, I intend to get Reese back in all areas of my life.”

  “Walker, you can’t be serious, son? She probably has a family by now and has happily moved on.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong, mother. She is married, but far from happy. Her daughter happens to be your grandson’s girlfriend. How about that for karma? I bet the old bastard is rolling over in his grave with that bit of news.”

  With my father’s deep dark secrets now revealed, it was too much for my mother to bear. She retired to her room to lay down. I believed Olivia Reed when she said she knew nothing of her husband’s machinations.

  My mother was the queen society girl herself. She was involved with her charity work, posed for the perfect photo op, and of course looked pretty on my father’s arm.

  He was a bastard, this I knew. He loved my mother and never strayed. By not revealing his duplicitous side, he was protecting her.

  I sat in my father’s chair and ran my fingers over the cherry wood box. My father’s initials were engraved on the top. This boxed was locked, and sitting in my hand was the key to my past. I looked up to my father’s now defaced portrait. Even with the smears of scotch running down the portr
ait, the old bastard was still laughing at me. What did he know that I didn’t? It was time to open the box and find out.

  I slowly turned the key and the only content inside was a sealed envelope with our family’s crest burned into it. Not an hour ago, I swore off scotch, but now I thirsted for one more shot before reading this. It was a handwritten letter addressed to me by my father.

  Dear Walker,

  I don’t want to sound like an old cliché, but if you’re reading this letter, then I am dead. I took the coward’s way out and chose to write my failures down in this letter instead of talking to my son.

  Where do I begin? I will start with: I’m sorry I wasn’t the father that you needed me to be. I’m sorry I was the arrogant bastard that you proudly named me, when you should have simply called me father. I am very proud of the man you turned out to be and the father you are to Jackson. Believe me, son. I take no credit in this accomplishment. You did everything on your own.

  You have met every expectation that I have ever set before you. No father could have been more proud of a son than I was of you. I’m just sorry I didn’t tell you as often as I should have. I do thank you for allowing me to be in Jackson’s life. That boy of yours is an amazing individual. He is filled with kindness and compassion. Every time I looked into his eyes I saw Elizabeth shining through. What a tragedy for him to not have known her. Will you please share something with Jackson for me? I know I don’t have any right to ask, but if you would bestow my last wish for my grandson, I would rest in peace. If you take the key that opened this box, you will find another lock inside. Turn the key to the right, and its drawer will open. Inside you will find my father’s watch. I want Jackson to have it.

  Your boy meant a great deal to me, and I will always cherish my time spent with him. Please watch over your mother for me. Olivia Walker Reed was my life. I know you always believed that I had ice that ran through my heart, but not when it came to loving your mother. Loving a woman like your mother, you would have thought I could be more understanding when it came to my son’s life. I wasn’t, Walker, and I completely destroyed your happiness with Reese Mitchell. I haven’t uttered her name since the day I forced her out of your life.

  I’m sorry son for what I did to you both, and the pain I caused you, and the hurt you must be feeling right now. I had the power to tell you over and over again, but never did. That girl loved you more than her own life, and I destroyed her. At the time, I didn’t feel she was right for you, and I labeled her as a gold digger. When I discovered she was pregnant with your child; I had convinced myself that she was exactly who I thought her to be. I was wrong, son, and she paid the price for my mistakes.

  Do you remember that day in your office when I unexpectedly came to visit? Of course you do. Your instincts were correct as always, and you had a right to be suspicious of me. I left something for you while I was at your home. Go to your study and retrieve the title Redemption…Sins of the Father. You will find the missing link that you will need to right the wrongs that I have done to you. Along with that, you will find what you will need to seek revenge on the ones who helped me put all of this in motion. Walker, you’re a smart man. I hope you don’t think I acted alone? I may have hurt your lovely Reese Mitchell, but there was a greater power even mightier than me. Read the papers, and they will lead you in the right direction. Why did I leave the book? Why, after all of these years, am I confessing now? Read the papers, and you will have your answers. I’m sure your head is spinning with my favorite scotch coursing through your system right about now. I’m so very sorry, Walker. You will never know how much.

  As I reflect on how much I wronged you and Ms. Mitchell, I still couldn’t be honest with you and tell you the truth. I was relieved when you found Elizabeth. I know you’re probably wondering if she was also conspiring against you. I swear on your mother’s life that she was innocent and not involved. She simply loved you for many years and accepted anything you were willing to give her. Again, I am truly sorry for your loss.

  I hope one day you can forgive me and find happiness again.

  You’re a good man, Walker. A better man than I ever was.

  Sincerely yours,

  Phillip Alexander Reed

  Reading my father’s farewell letter did not give me closure, if anything, it resurrected old wounds and opened up new ones. Pain was not something I was immune to. First to lose Reese, and then to watch Elizabeth slip away from me, was incredibly hurtful to endure. Why, after all these years, he chose now to look for absolution for his sins. Now I understood more than ever why he visited me that day at my office. I never gave him the chance to tell me, and thank god I didn’t. To hear it from Reese’s point of view was a mind fuck at catastrophic proportions. So if my father would have confessed, I probably could have killed him with my bare hands.

  Phillip Reed stopped at nothing to achieve what he had wanted, and in the end I made it easy for him. Reese’s leaving shattered my heart, and I gave up way too easily. I should have searched the world for her until I found my other half of my heart, but I succumbed to my weakness and drowned in my own shit. Repeatedly Reese blamed herself for what happened, even shifting the blame from my father to her. It was I who let him navigate and charter the course for my life. I thought I was the one in charge of my destiny, not him. It was an illusion that I created, and I believed what I was telling everyone else.

  The realization of it all was slamming me right into my gut. Nearly eighteen years later, I was still broken, but not for long. Reuniting with Reese was my game changer. She broke the chains that had bounded me to this life of just existing and going through the motions. By walking back into my life, it all changed, and now I was on a different path…leading right back to my woman.

  I still don’t forgive you, father.

  The old man was right about one thing. I would seek my revenge on every last single breathing soul that hurt us. This I promised on the rotting corpse of my father, Phillip Reed. They would pay for the pain and loss they caused us, every fucking one of them.

  Reese Mitchell was meant to be my wife, and I would not give her up without a fight, husband or not.

  THOUGHTS OF WALKER dominated my dreams all through the night. I could still smell his cologne on my body. My bottom lip was still swollen from his kiss. What am I doing? I’m married to Samuel and can’t be fantasizing about my former lover. But Walker was so much more than that. Walker was my…forever.

  When we were together, every time I had closed my eyes, I could see our future together and all it could be. Walker and I talked for many hours about our plans and how we would marry, work in our chosen careers, and eventually start our family. The day his father showed up at his apartment, my dreams became a distant memory, my reality a nightmare.

  What would it be like to make love with Walker again? He held me so close to his chest last night. I could have easily let my walls crumble around me and do him right there.

  What the hell? I have to stop this…and now. I had my chance with Walker, and it was me who walked away. I have had to live with and accept the choices I made all those years ago. To see him now after all of this time apart, brought it all back.

  I want him back. I’ve always wanted him. Stop it, Reese! This was not getting me anywhere, and looking at the clock, I can’t believe I was still in bed. Enough daydreaming for one day. I had to get ready for this luncheon and show Riley all of my favorite places on campus where Walker and I used to go. I mean the places, I used to go. I think I should take a cold shower to knock some sense into me.

  I felt a bit better after my artic shower; nothing like dousing yourself with cold water to extinguish the flames of your fantasy. It’s exactly that…a fantasy. Was I fooling myself all those years ago with Walker? We were so different, but he never cared about our social circles, he just wanted me. As I sat at the vanity table, I looked at my sad reflection staring back at me. My mind began to wander again, getting lost in the memories of my past.

  I am
a foolish woman. I never deserved him, because I truly didn’t trust his love, I see that now. All he ever wanted from me was to believe in what we had, and although I told him that I did believe, maybe somewhere deep inside, I didn’t. I thought I was so tough, but I was weak, just like her, my sad mother who didn’t have the strength to fight. I did this to us. I let his father control me and destroy what we had and any chance of building our future together. This is on me. Stupid woman!

  I quietly sobbed for a brief minute, and when I opened my eyes, I saw that the table mirror was shattered into pieces. Oh my god! What am I doing? How will I explain this to my daughter? I needed air. I had to get out of there and clear my head.

  I called out to Riley from my bedroom, but heard no response. I looked for Riley, only to find a note that she had left for me.

  So much for spending quality time with your mom, Riley. She was quite the sneak, leaving me a note and sneaking out to meet her boyfriend. I sighed. I was jealous of my own daughter. She was in love with a wonderful boy, and I was here alone in my hotel room. My husband was a workaholic who paid no mind to me at all, and when he did, I was thrown over a desk for a passionless and meaningless fuck.

  I felt a sudden headache beginning to form, and I massaged my temples. Grabbing my coat and purse, I made my way to the door, when I heard something. Is it him? Walker? He’s here? But why? I dropped my things on the couch, and before opening the door, I quietly listened.

  “Reese, are you there? Please open the door…I need you.” He sounded so sad and defeated. My heart hurt just listening to his voice. He knocked again, and then again. I took a step back from the door, and let out rapid breaths. I’d been there before with Walker, and I was no fool to know what would happen next, but I just didn’t care anymore. I gave up believing on fate when we were separated. So why question fate now? He’s here now. My love is here, no more questions.