Second Chance at Forever
Page 15
AFTER WE DRESSED and fixed our appearances, Walker just held me as I continued to process what he just told me. Can I walk away from my marriage and leave it all behind me? I was brave enough to ask Samuel for a divorce once, but I will have to find the courage to do it again. My cell phone was ringing once again, and it was Riley calling, thank god. I wasn’t ready to speak with Samuel.
I let it go to voicemail, and then I played Riley’s message.
“Hi Mom, calling to let you know that I’m still with Jackson. Oh my goodness, mom, the play was awesome. I love New York. I will see you soon and tell you all about it. Mom, thank you for this weekend. I have never been happier, mommy. I love you so much, and mom… I love Jackson.”
Hearing my daughter sound so happy made my heart sing and ache at the same time. She was in love with Walker’s son. How would I ever begin to explain my past with Walker to Riley? The thought of it sickened me, and I was afraid that if I tell her the truth about how I felt about Walker, she would push me away for hurting her father. No matter what I decided, someone would be hurt.
“Reese, who was on the phone? Was it Samuel again?”
Should I have lied and told Walker it was Samuel and that he wanted me to call him back? I had to get out of this car, away from Walker. I needed to think. Every minute I remained with him was making me just want him more.
“Reese, tell me who was on the phone.” He demanded to know.
“It was Riley. She wanted to tell me how much fun she was having with Jackson, and she loves him. Knowing that Riley will have someone with her while she attends school here puts my mind at ease.”
“They were friends first, and then it led to what they have now. It sounds like another couple I used to know.” He smiled and leaned forward to kiss me. I slowly pulled away from him.
“What are you thinking, Reese?” he softly asked me. I stared at his beautiful face and cherished every single minute that I’ve spent with him. Fighting to hold back my tears, I whispered the two words that would probably hurt him the most. God knows I didn’t want to, but I needed to breathe.
“Goodbye, Walker.”
I opened my door and stepped out. He didn’t try to stop me this time, so I kept walking until I could no longer feel his presence. When I finally entered my hotel room, I was drained and exhausted. The maid has been here to clean our room, so Walker’s scent was no longer on my sheets. I already missed him and it had only been a few minutes since I left him. Was he thinking of me too? I was totally being irrational at this point. I decided to just soak in the tub and clear my head, maybe even get a little drunk, anything to bring me some peace I desperately needed right now. I soaked my sore muscles in the tub, and of course my mind drifted to Walker. I remembered every touch he placed on my body. We made love so many times, I had lost count.
Was Walker right? Could I easily walk away from my marriage and just start over with him? Samuel had been so distant the last few years, all he got excited over was his career. I had just played my role in our story. Once we married he was very clear on the kind of wife he wanted me to be. He hated that I modeled and asked me to walk away from my career. He asked for children right away, so I got pregnant and we had our beautiful daughter.
I suffered another miscarriage two years after having Riley, and that’s when I decided I didn’t want any more children. To have to go through that loss again was too painful for me to go through again. Samuel was content on only having one, and he wasn’t the type of man that needed to continue his family lineage with a son. Samuel offered to get a vasectomy to calm my fears about getting pregnant again. I always respected him for that selfless act.
I felt so much better after my bath, and enjoyed a delicious glass of Barolo. Realizing that I didn’t phone Marsha at all today, I immediately dialed her number. She answered on the third ring.
“Well hello, Ms. Thing. For someone who wants to reconnect with her best friend, you sure have a funny way of going about it.” Leave it to Marsha for knowing the perfect words to use to make me feel guilty.
“Marsha, I’m so sorry for not calling you today. Something came up that couldn’t be helped.”
“Couldn’t be helped? Who or what had your panties all up in a twist today that couldn’t have waited until you met with Freddy?”
Oh my god! I loved her. She and Freddy should have been related. I hoped she was sitting down for what I was about to say next. “Walker.”
“What?! Come again? I thought I just heard you say ‘Walker.’ As in Walker Reed?”
“Yes. The one and only.”
“Oy vey! You have to give me a moment here. I think I swallowed my tongue.” I waited and silently laughed as she went on and on about her shock. She tended to be a bit melodramatic, but at the same time could be so entertaining. I missed my friend, and I so needed this laugh after the intense day I had with Walker.
“Reese, as much as I want to continue this conversation, I’m kind of in the middle of a party right now. Can we meet tomorrow?”
“Can I call you first before making plans?”
“Sure thing, sweets. You know I love you, and I promise I will not let Freddy out of my sight until you two can talk.”
“I know he must be busy with the fashion show, and I don’t want to take his focus away from that. As much as I want to reunite with him, he needs to have this moment without my drama.”
“He loves you, Reese. His feelings have not changed. Why do you think he used your nickname Peaches in his foundation? He misses you so much. Give him the benefit of the doubt before you decide how he will react to seeing you again.”
“Once again, my friend, you’re the voice of reason.” I hung up with Marsha just in time to hear Riley arrive home.
“Mom! Are you here?” My daughter was finally back from her whirlwind date with Jackson. It was time to catch up with my girl and order some ice cream.
“Hey, sweetie, how was your night with Jackson?”
Riley was glowing, her smile was infectious. “Mom, my night was unbelievable. I’m totally in love with Jackson, and I told him how I feel. He said my words right back to me, and we just held each other. He took me for a horse and carriage ride through Central Park. He is so smart mom, he knows so many things about art, music, history about buildings, and he can describe the littlest details and make it to be so much more than it really is.”
“It sounds like you have an amazing boyfriend. Riley, I don’t mean to pry, but I feel I need to ask you.”
“Mom, you can ask me anything, but I already know what you’re going to say. We’ve had this conversation before, mom, and my answer is still the same. I’m still a virgin, and plan to be until I’m ready for that next step.”
“Which will be when, Riley? The way you’re talking about Jackson leads me to believe that you have probably at least thought about it.”
“Mom, of course I have, but as a couple, we have not. Jackson is so tender and gentle with me, he does not pressure me at all. We kiss and we hug each other, but that’s it for now. He hasn’t even tried to feel me up under my clothes.”
Oh my god, I was so not ready to hear about my daughter’s sex life. “Riley! I swear you have no filters when it comes to your mouth. That was too much information for me to hear.”
“Aren’t you the one that is always telling me to be honest with you? I’m only following your lead, mom. If you don’t want to know, then that’s fine. I won’t continue to tell you intimate details, but don’t snap at me. I have always shared things with you that you never had a problem with before.”
Dammit! I hurt her feelings, and I could see it all over Riley’s face. “I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to be insensitive, and of course I want you to share things with me, especially the important stuff. Falling in love for the first time is an amazing feeling, and I really like Jackson. He seems wonderful, and I know he will treat you right.”
“Thank you, mom. Jackson is wonderful. I can’t believe how much we have in common
, his friends are great, and they really welcomed me into their group. Most of the group will be attending NYU, only a few are attending Columbia. I want to say thank you again for allowing me to have this time with Jackson. I know you and I planned on doing some things together, but you were right, mom. I saw Jackson, and my heart just combusted and only wanted to be with him.”
“I was once your age, Riley. I get it, and I understand. How about tomorrow we take New York by storm? I actually have a surprise for you.”
“A surprise? Oh, mom, please tell me? You know I won’t be able to sleep until you do.”
“My lips are sealed, Riley, but I will say this. You’re going to plotz when you find out where we’re going tomorrow.”
“Mom…what does plotz mean?” I laugh out loud. Riley is wearing the same expression I wore on my face when Marsha first said that word to me.
“Plotz is a Yiddish word for a feeling of excitement. It was a word that two very special people always used to say to me.”
“Sounds like a plan, mom. Jackson is driving out to see his grandmother tomorrow, so you and I will have the whole day to ourselves. Have you called daddy yet? He should know we extended our trip.”
“I have, and he’s fine with it.” I lied. “Speaking of your father, I need to call him, so I’m going to go to bed now.”
“Okay, mom, I will see you in the morning. I love you.”
I hugged my daughter and whispered “I love you” back to her. My heart was breaking while my daughter’s was filled with happiness and newfound love. I had to tell her about Walker. If she found out on her own, she would be heartbroken and not trust me. I would have to call Walker and ask if he planned on telling Jackson.
No missed calls from Samuel, as I looked to dial Walker. His voicemail picked up and I swear listening to Walker’s sexy voice over the phone could bring me to my knees. Every word that came out of his mouth was lyrics to a song. Walker was the most passionate man that I had ever known. After tomorrow, I would only have a few more days with him, and then I would return home to begin divorce proceedings. Before leaving for New York, I had already been in contact with my lawyer and had papers drawn up. If Samuel knew of this, he would completely lose it. I just had to keep in mind that no matter what happened, I couldn’t allow Walker be the reason for ending my marriage. I wanted this for a long time, and to be fair to Samuel, I had to see it through without the interference from my past. How that would happen was still uncertain.
Walker and I had so much to talk about. He still didn’t tell me about his trip out to the Hamptons. I think he wanted to, but Samuel’s call interrupted him, and the subject changed. I told him so much tonight, but left out so much more.
If tomorrow goes as planned, I would have reunited with my best friend and then see Walker. I went over the mental list of fences I needed to mend. Freddy, Walker, and then my grandparents. I don’t see how reuniting with Walker and not telling them the complete truth would be avoided. I just prayed Nana and Granddaddy would understand why I did what I did. They may be angry at first, but once they see how happy I am again, maybe that will be enough for them.
I never liked keeping secrets from Nana, but again in the name of protecting her, is why I did it. She wouldn’t see it that way, but I would try my best. I deserved a good tongue lashing from her. If I had trusted the two people that had always taken care of me, maybe I could have been spared years of pain without Walker in my life. But then I wouldn’t have Riley.
I had to believe everything happened for a reason, good and bad. In life we had no absolutes or guarantees. If that was the case, then everyone’s life would be perfect, and to believe that is a fairytale. My romance with Walker was like a story in a romance novel. He did everything with perfection, and when we hit our rough patches, the making up part was unbelievably hot and sexy. Walker was my fantasy wrapped up in a perfect package, and when he declared his love for me, he then became my reality. He wanted us again, and as fast as I fled his car tonight, I wanted that too. I was not the same girl that his father chased away all those years ago. I knew I was stronger, but I was human too. I was allowed to be scared and nervous of the unknown, but with Walker beside me this time, I prayed we could finally find our happily ever after.
I realized I was all caught up in the sound of his voice and my thoughts that time had run out, and Walker’s phone hung up. I must have left him a voicemail of just silence. I laughed and shut my phone off. I would talk to him tomorrow, but dream of him tonight.
I SHOULD HAVE stopped her, but I knew she needed space. I hated this feeling that had consumed me since leaving Reese at her hotel. I wanted to go back to her and make love to her all night, but I feared I may just push her away. I would see her tomorrow and once again try to convince her that we belonged together. To hell with her marriage and her husband who didn’t deserve her.
I walked into my penthouse and eyed Jackson sprawled out on the couch, surrounded by his laptop, iPad and e-reader. How many devices does my son need all at once? I laughed and went to greet him. Jackson was out cold and I thought about leaving him where he slept, he looked so content and happy. As I turned away from him, he jolted out of his sleep and greeted me.
“Hey dad, you’re home. I tried waiting up for you, but I was beat. My girl and I traipsed all over New York tonight, she has some energy.”
“Okay, son. T.M.I.”
“Dad, get your mind out of the gutter. It’s not like that with Riley. I meant that she is full of life and never slows down to take a breath. She was born and raised in Maryland, never really experiencing a city like New York. She only attended private schools and hasn’t really had any independent moments of being on her own until this weekend with me. Her excitement beguiles me. Do you understand what I’m saying to you, dad?”
“More than you know, Jackson.” I poured myself a glass of wine, remembering I swore off scotch for the rest of my life.
I took a few sips and then made the decision to come clean to Jackson. I had never lied to him, and I didn’t want to start now. He was my whole world, and what he thought of me mattered.
“Jackson, can we talk?”
“Sure, dad. What’s on your mind?” I was about to speak when his cell phone went off. Jackson put his finger up to halt me. “Hey baby, I miss you too.” I guess I was saved by Riley and her interruption. “Hey dad, would you mind if I said goodnight to Riley, and then we can talk?”
“It’s fine, son. Talk to your girl. I will see you at breakfast.”
He was more than happy with my answer and took his call to his bedroom. Here I stood in this huge room feeling absolutely alone and missing Reese. I wanted to hear her voice again, so now that I knew Riley was occupied with Jackson, there would be no reason why Reese wouldn’t take my call.
I noticed I had one missed call from Reese. I instantly felt relieved and listened to her voicemail, but it was just silence. Dialing her right away, her phone went directly to voicemail. I hung up before her message even ended. She probably shut her phone off and went to bed. Reese was always in the habit of shutting the world out when she needed time to think.
I had to take the edge off somehow; I was so pent up with frustration. We didn’t even get to finish our dinner because of her husband calling. Then we jumped head first into a deep conversation. The memory of making love in her hotel room and then again in my car will hopefully satisfy my want for her until we meet again. I changed out of my clothes and went to work-out in my gym, then I called my trainer and requested him to meet me in the morning at six am for a rigorous work-out that I knew my body needed. If I didn’t release this tension, at the first sight of Reese I would probably tear her clothes away from her delectable body and take her where she stood.
I had to be out of my mind to think I could take Tyler on with thoughts of Reese racing through my mind.
“Come on, Walker! What the hell is wrong with you today? I have knocked you on your ass twice now, and you make no move to come at me. Are we d
oing this or what? I don’t have all day.”
“Tyler, the last time I checked, you work for me, so check the attitude before I fire your ass and then knock you on it.”
“I’d like to see you try, Reed. Come on, you big bad corporate mogul, come at me, and show me what you got.”
I put my fists up and go to hit Tyler with my right. I missed, he swept my leg, and I’m down again. “Fuck!” I shouted out to him and he extended his hand out to me, but I shoved it away.
“One more time, Tyler, and this time I won’t miss.” I thought I’d embarrassed myself enough for one morning, so I charged Tyler with all that I had. This time, I took him down and he spit blood as my right leg clipped his mouth.
“It’s about time, Walker. Why did it take you sixty two minutes to finally take me down?”
My only defense was Reese, and as much as I needed this work-out, I had needed her more. “I think I’ve had enough for today, but thank you for kicking my ass, Tyler. How’s your mouth. Are you okay?”
“Don’t worry about me, old man. Today was just a warm-up. I know you have more inside yourself than you showed me today. Today you get this hit for free. Next time we spar, you better be all in, because I plan to show you no mercy.”
“I’ll remember that, Tyler, just send me your bill.”
Fucking Tyler McVee, that’s what I get for hiring a former UFC fighter to train me. This guy savagely destroyed more opponents in the ring than anyone who had come after him in the last five years since he retired.
After my long, hot shower and then soaking my sore muscles, I got dressed and immediately dialed Reese. It was early, but hopefully I would catch her before I left for the Hamptons with Jackson today. Shit! My call went straight to voicemail, why hadn’t she turned her phone on? Maybe if I asked Jackson to call Riley, I could find out what was going on with her mother, but how could I do that without raising suspicion?