Nikan Rebuilt--A steamy, emotional rockstar romance

by Scarlett Cole

  “Please, Nik.”

  He kissed the tip of her nose and planted a trail of kisses along her jaw, down her neck, and all the way to her breasts, which felt heavy and tender beneath his hands. She watched breathlessly as he licked and then blew across her nipple.

  “Did I ever tell you just how much I love how responsive your breasts are?” He sucked her nipple into his mouth, the heat shocking after the cool air. Tenderly, she cradled his head against her, urging him to take her further, to do more. When he switched sides, she arched her back, and Nik grinned before continuing the trail of soft kisses across her stomach and hip. He nibbled the crease of her thigh before he placed one of her legs over his shoulder and then he breathed deeply, his eyes fluttering closed. “I missed the feel of you. I missed the smell of you. The taste of you,” he said, as if in prayer. He opened his eyes and slid his fingers beneath the waistband of her panties. Teasingly, he dragged them slowly down her legs. With his gaze fixed on her, he ran his tongue along the length of her. Desperately, she moved against him, needing more pressure, more . . . something . . . anything that could help her chase the orgasm she felt building inside.

  “It feels so good, Nik,” she gasped. “I need . . .”

  Gently, Nik slid a finger inside her. “Damn, babe, I love how wet you are. Tell me. Tell me what you need.” He added his tongue, circling her clit before sucking on her gently.

  “Oh God. I’m so close.” Inhibitions went out of the window as she moved against him. Nik added a second finger and sped up his strokes as he hit her in all the right places. She threw her head back against the pillow. He teased her clit as he thrust in and out of her, and her world exploded, stars appearing as she closed her eyes and let the ripples flood through her.

  Nik slowed his strokes, bringing her down to earth just like the leaves they’d seen in Central Park, drifting slowly. Finally, he licked his fingers clean, and crawled his way back up her body as she tried to regain some sense of composure. When he kissed her, she could taste herself on his lips, something that had always turned her, and him, on. “I’d forgotten how incredible it is when you come,” he murmured. “The way you give in to it with every single part of you.”

  She opened her eyes and studied him. “I want to see you come too,” she said, reaching for him. His erection was hot and heavy in her hand. Nik had been the largest man she’d ever slept with, and she craved the sensation of being filled so completely.

  Nik knelt, his knees on either side of her hips, and rocked into her palms. The tip glistened, and she fought the urge to change position and suck him. There would be time for that, but she wanted him inside her. Using her thumb, she spread the wetness across his head, and Nik groaned, leaning his head back. With his muscles tight, his abs flexing as he moved, he looked like a model.

  “You want to see me come, or feel me come right now? Because you keep doing that, it’s going to happen sooner than you think,” he said, then removed her hand only to pull it to his lips and kiss the back of it. He reached over to the bedside table and pulled out a box of condoms. “You know, when I bought these today, I felt like I was eighteen again. Buying them in preparation, but not overly hopeful I’d get to use them.” He ripped the plastic cover off and pulled one out.

  Despite the intensity of the moment, Jenny laughed, and he grinned too. She’d needed the moment of levity more than he did, because if she hadn’t smiled right then, she might’ve given into the burn, the tingle that told her she was close to tears. Jenny watched Nik roll the condom on with ease before he gently settled back between her legs and kissed her softly. “I know it’s way too early for big pronouncements,” he said, brushing her hair away from her face so that he could place a kiss at the corner of each of her eyes, “but this—you, here, with me—it’s too important and too special to not let you know just how much you mean to me.” He slid a hand between the two of them, and she felt him brush himself along her opening. “This is everything,” he said as he slipped inside her.

  Jenny gasped at the way he stretched her. It felt so unbearably good, and it wasn’t just her body that was open for him. As he pulled out of her, her heart opened for him too. It was impossible to separate the physical and emotional feelings, which had been the reason that one-night stands simply didn’t work for her. Her body without her heart left her feeling uncertain. But both together in a moment like this was bliss.

  “Jenny,” Nik groaned as he pressed back inside her. “You feel so tight around me, babe.”

  She wrapped her legs around his waist and closed her eyes, savoring the way he sank even deeper. It was tight, the pressure stretching her wide but filling her more completely than any other man had ever done.

  Nik paused deep inside her and held her still. “Look at me,” he commanded and she did, even though she knew the move would cost her the last shred of hold she had on her emotions. “Do you remember this?” he asked, pulling out and sliding back in slowly. “Do you remember where this leads? Because fuck, my body does.” He sped up the pace a little, gasped for breath. “It’s so fucking new and perfect.”

  Jenny reached for the back of his neck and pulled him down to her mouth. Words weren’t within reach to explain exactly how she felt, so instead she opted for actions. As Nik’s thrusts sped up, as her body began to shake in preparation for what came next, she looked for the quiet and kissed him slowly, with every ounce of longing she’d felt in the years since they’d last been together. Perhaps she could show him a little of what it had felt like.

  But Nik had been right about one thing. It also felt new, and fresh, and absent of the heaviness she’d felt when she’d first seen him.

  Her stomach muscles began to clench, but Nik never took his eyes of her. Adoration shone from them, and it was impossible to do anything other than accept what he was giving her.

  “Oh, yes, Nik. Just there, please,” she gasped.

  Nik slid his hand between the two of them and began to circle her clit as his thrusts became more primal, less controlled. He slammed against her and she gripped a handful of the comforter. “Like. This?” he gasped.

  “Just like that,” she managed to say as the world went bright, and her head spun. “Nik, I’m coming,” she cried out as the delicious explosion began at her very core.

  She hadn’t thought it possible, but Nik thrust into her even faster, driving her past the point of recovery and straight into a second orgasm as he began to shake in her arms. “Jenny,” he yelled. And the sound of her name on his lips as he came did more to fix the holes in her heart than anything else had so far.

  He flopped down on top of her, his head pressed into the pillow by the crook of her neck. Both breathed deeply.

  As exertion gave way to exhaustion, Nik withdrew from her, a feeling she’d always hated because of how it left her feeling empty, not just physically. He removed the condom, tied it up, and dropped it to the floor before crawling back to her.

  She had no idea what time it was, but it had been nine thirty at least when they’d left the restaurant. For a moment, she let herself drift in a daydream that she didn’t have work in the morning, and that this was their home, that they were in this together like they’d always discussed.

  Nik lay down on his back, and pulled her to him until she was settled, her head on his shoulder and his arms wrapped tightly around her.

  Words didn’t seem all that necessary. His fingers stroked up and down her back, pausing periodically to explore her lower back, the curve of her butt. When she felt her eyes begin to drift shut, she shook her head and tried to sit up before Nik pulled her back to him. “Where do you think you’re going?” he mumbled, half asleep.

  “I should go. I have work in the morning and I—”

  “What time?” Nik asked, turning to face her. His eyes were hooded with sleep, but he ran his hand along her side, over her hip.

  “Well, I have to be there by seven thirty, but I don’t think it’s a good idea if I stay.”

  Nik kissed h
er softly. “I think it’s the best fucking idea in the history of the world for you to stay. Don’t run out on us, Jenny. Not yet.”

  Reality crept in. “There’s still so much to fix, Nik. Nothing miraculously got better just because we slept together.”

  Nik pulled her to him. “I know, but this is a start. Just stay with me. I promise I’ll get you there in the morning in plenty of time, with a shower and clothes and everything.” He pouted playfully, like he’d always used to when he wanted her to do something for him.

  She laughed and shook her head. “Fine, but we’ll need to be up and moving around six.”

  Strong hands cupped her butt. “What kind of up and moving did you have in mind?” Nik asked, wiggling his eyebrows. “This kind?” He pressed against her to show her he was hard again.

  “Good night, Nik,” she said, turning her back on him as she grinned.

  “Goodnight, babe.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  He smelled like sex, but quite seriously didn’t give a fuck. Nik tugged the brim of his baseball cap a little lower and scanned the donut rack. He’d hated sneaking out of bed, leaving Jenny sleeping, but he’d wanted to do something special. While he had the fixings in his fridge to make her a healthy breakfast, he wanted to show her just how much he missed the small things they used to do.

  One of her guilty pleasures had been Tim Hortons Boston cream donuts for breakfast. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d binged for breakfast, but seeing that he had some work to do on the house, rehearsals in the afternoon, and a visit with his trainer in the evening, he could more than handle the extra calories.

  “Yeah, I know. We’re going to need to get everybody on board.”

  Nik turned to see a guy in a suit join the queue behind him, talking obnoxiously loud on the phone.

  “What can I get you?” the woman behind the counter asked.

  Nik placed the order. A couple of coffees—both black because he assumed her tastes hadn’t changed, and she could always add milk and sugar at his place if they had—four donuts, and two breakfast sandwiches in case for some crazy reason she no longer loved donuts.

  As the woman began to pull the order together, he got his wallet out.

  “Yeah, yeah,” the guy behind him continued. “I’ll see if I can’t round everybody up for a pow wow, okay?”

  Nik glanced over his shoulder and scowled at the man.

  “I’m sorry about that,” the woman said as she slid his drinks across the counter. “He shouldn’t have said that.”

  Nik handed her a twenty. “Thanks, and keep the change,” he said as he gathered his bags. He’d never attended a pow wow, but he knew well enough that it wasn’t something some asshole in a fucking suit did in a corporate office on a Monday.

  He jogged home, a bounce in his step at knowing Jenny was there, naked, in his bed . . . where she should have been for the last eight years. Visions of where they might have been by now if they’d stayed together came to him. Would they be married? Would they have kids? He certainly wouldn’t have gone off the rails the way he did. But then, who was he to challenge the Creator’s plan? There had to have been a reason they been put through so much.

  His phone rang as he got to the porch. He put the bag of food down on the small table by the front door and grabbed his phone out of his back pocket. Lennon. It was inhuman how little sleep the guy relied on. “What’s up, man?”

  “You gotta talk Elliott out of that new progression for ‘Preen’ he was messing around with last week. That’s one of the few songs that works as-is.”

  Nik pulled his phone away from his ear and checked the time. “You know it’s not even six a.m. yet, right?”

  “What? Oh, right. Yeah. Sorry. But can you talk to him before we start? Because I don’t want to lose my shit again.”

  Some days it was like freaking kindergarten. He knew how badly Elliott wanted to experiment. “Can’t the two of you just sort this out without me for once?”

  He had plans that involved getting everything done tout-fucking-suite so he could spend all the time he had getting reacquainted with Jenny. They needed to date, and—

  “You agree with Elliott, don’t you? Of course you do. Never mind.”

  The phone went dead.

  Fuck.

  Nik unlocked the front door and grabbed the food off the table. He kicked the door shut with his heel and walked into the apartment. Just knowing Jenny was in there made the place feel like a palace. The light was on in the bathroom, so he placed the food down on the counter and walked down the hallway.

  Jenny stood looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her back was straight, and his unbuttoned shirt skimmed those soft thighs of hers that had been wrapped around his waist less than seven hours ago. Even though she was wearing the remnants of the previous evening’s makeup, and her hair was hanging in messy loose curls, she was still the most striking woman he’d ever seen.

  “It’s been a long time since I did a walk of shame,” she said without even looking in his direction.

  Nik leaned on the doorframe and folded his arms. “It’s only a walk of shame if you don’t actually live here.”

  She turned to face him, leaned her hip against the bathroom counter, and folded her arms to mirror his. He certainly wasn’t going to tell her just how distracting her breasts were when she did that. “But I don’t live here. And I need to shower and go home in the dress I wore last night.”

  “If you brought some clothes and left them here, it wouldn’t be an issue. Or, if it made you feel better, you could move into apartment two across the hall. It will be months before we’re ready to pull this floor apart. Or you could just move in and we could get on with the rest of our lives.”

  He reached for the collar of the shirt and straightened it before he allowed his eyes to skim down her body. “Did I tell you how much I love you in my shirt?” All that smooth skin teased him. His dick grew hard at the sight of her naked pussy, and he forced his eyes back to hers.

  Jenny tutted and rolled her eyes as she pulled his shirt tightly around herself. “Three weeks ago, we hadn’t seen each other in eight years. Moving in with you after such a short period of time would be dumb at best.”

  With a gentle tug on the sleeve of his shirt, she fell into his arms, and he kissed her gently, savoring how soft her lips were. “As much as I don’t like it, I can see why you might think that. You have nothing to prove to me, and I have everything to prove to you. And I get that it is going to take time. But please, don’t ever put this down. What we are, who we are, what we are doing.” He let his hands slide down her ribs so he could pick her up and perch her on the edge of the vanity. “There is nothing shameful about us.”

  She pressed her forehead to his pecs, and he kissed the top of her head. “It’s going to take time for me to get my head around this. And as good as last night felt, I still feel like the decision lacked all of my best instincts for self-preservation. I’m going to flip-flop. When I’m with you, you have the power to convince me that it is all going to be okay. But when I’m not, when common sense creeps in, I’m certain I’m going to doubt everything you’d just explained.” Jenny lifted her eyes to his. “I don’t want you to get mad when I do.”

  Her words took the edge off the happiness he’d felt when he came back from the coffee shop, but she was right. His optimism and confidence in the two of them wasn’t enough. And he needed to live up to his commitment that he was going to work hard every single day to make it up to her. “Going to do my best,” he said. “And I’m sure there are going to be days when that isn’t enough. But if I promise not to get mad when you doubt us, doubt me, can you promise that you’re not going to give up on us, at least not yet? Let us get to smoother sailing before we decide we don’t want to be on this voyage with each other.”

  Jenny placed a hand on his cheek. “Okay,” she said. “It’s a deal.”

  “Does that mean we get to have sex again right now?” He pushed her knees apart, and sep
arated his shirt so she was exposed to him.

  “No,” she laughed, as she slapped at his hands before closing the shirt. “I need to shower, and dry my hair, and eat breakfast, and Lord knows I need coffee. And I need clothes that I can go run around after boys in, and shoes that don’t have a heel. And perhaps some makeup so I don’t look like death warmed up.”

  “Okay, first, you look beautiful. And what if I told you that breakfast and coffee are waiting outside? You can go shower, and I’ll give you something of mine to slip into. You can eat in the car on the way over to your place. I’ll wait while you do all the other girly shit, and then I’ll drive you to work.”

  Jenny shoved both of her hands into her own hair as if exasperated with him. “Fine.” She dropped off the counter, and seductively allowed one sleeve of his shirt to drop from her shoulder. As she brushed past him, she allowed the other sleeve to follow. He held his breath as the shirt slowly slipped down her back and over the curve of her ass, the quiet striptease holding his attention and turning his semi to a full-on erection. “You can show me how much you missed me in here,” she said as she stepped into the ugly shower.

  “The water pressure in the shower sucks,” he said, pulling his T-shirt over his head.

  Jenny turned on the tap and squealed as the cold water hit her before the warm started to splutter through. It flowed over her naked body and, like a voyeur, he stood transfixed as she raised her hands above her head and began to run them through her hair. “Good to know,” she replied. “Did you know my sucking never loses pressure?”

  Goddamn.

  He hurried to the bedroom. They were going to need condoms. It was too early to have the conversation with her about not needing them and using alternate methods of birth control, about the way he’d always been careful, about the way the band’s insurance requested that he was periodically tested, and that he had a full medical before they commenced any tour. All she knew about him and his life for the last eight years had come from sources out for a story about him.