by Tia Hines
“Get your ass up, and get ready for school!”
“I can’t,” I cried. “My arm, I can’t move it.”
“Yeah, good. That will teach you to get sassy with me again.”
I lay there on the floor crying. My aunt had beaten me up before, but never like this. She was on some other stuff. I made attempts to get up, but my body would not allow it. I lay there unable to move for twenty minutes.
My aunt came back in the room. “You must want some more, because I know I told you to get up and get ready for school.”
She lifted me up, and I almost screamed from the pain that ran through my body. As bad as I was hurting, she made me go to school. She claimed I was faking, but I definitely wasn’t. I could hardly move my arm. On top of that, my ankle felt twisted again, and every time I sat down, I had a sharp pain shoot through my butt.
It took me forty-five minutes to get dressed as opposed to my seven-minute routine. By the time I was ready, I had missed the bus.
“You missed that bus purposely. It ain’t never took you that long to get ready.”
“It’s because my arm hurts, and my ankle—”
“Save it, because I don’t want to hear your boohoos. Come on here, and let me take you to school.”
I was reluctant, but I didn’t want to get hit anymore. I was tired.
When I got to school it took me ten minutes to get in the building. Jen met me in the hallway.
“Happy birthday!”
I looked at her dumbfounded.
“Today is your birthday, right?”
“What’s today’s date?”
“November tenth. What’s wrong with you? And why are you walking slouched over like that with a limp?”
“Because I can’t move my arm and my ankle. I think it’s twisted.”
“From what?”
“My aunt, this morning.”
Jen took a look at my arm and touched it.
I jumped in pain. “Ouch, that hurts!”
Jen checked me out. “Your arm is swollen.”
“I know. I know,” I wept in pain.
“Let’s go to the nurse.”
“Why?”
“What you mean, why? Are you crazy? Your arm could be broken.”
I wasn’t really up for going to see the nurse because I didn’t want to have to explain how I got my injury, but I couldn’t bear the pain any longer. I had to go.
We walked to the nurse’s office, and I was just gone. I had forgotten about my own birthday. I don’t know how I managed to do that, but I did. It was pitiful. My life had really taken a toll on me and my thoughts. I was diminishing one day at a time.
We got to the nurse’s office, and she examined me.
“I think your arm may be broken. I have to call an ambulance. How did this happen?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
I hesitated to answer. I wanted to tell, but then again I didn’t, because I didn’t want to get in more trouble.
“Desire, it’s okay. You can tell me.”
I took a deep breath. “I don’t wanna say.”
“Listen, this is serious, and I’m only here to help you. Talk to me.”
Well, if she puts it that way, maybe I can tell her and get some help. “It was my aunt.”
“Your aunt did this to you?”
“Yes.”
“Does she live with you?”
“Yeah.”
“Who else lives with you?”
“It’s just me and her.”
“Okay, just lie still. Jen, we got this under control, honey. Thank you. I’m going to give you a pass for your class.” The nurse walked over to her desk.
Jen proceeded behind her. “She’s gonna be okay, right?”
“Yes, don’t worry, sweetie.”
She gave Jen the pass, and Jen walked out as the other nurse was coming in.
“What happened here?”
Nurse Moon gave Nurse Greyer the one-minute finger. She was on the phone with the ambulance. She hung up the phone a few minutes later.
“What’s going on? Who’s the ambulance for?”
They both walked over to me.
Nurse Moon lifted my arm, and I jumped. “Look, I think it’s broken,” she said.
“Can she move it? Can you move it?”
“A little, but it hurts.”
“How’d it happen? In gym?”
Before I could respond, Nurse Moon pulled Nurse Greyer to the side. They were supposed to be whispering, but I heard every word of their conversation.
“I think we got a DSS case here.”
“Why? She’s being abused?”
“Yeah. She came to school like this.”
“Wow! I’m surprised she made it. I know she’s in pain.”
“Yeah, I see it written all over her face. I feel so bad for her.”
“Yeah, especially since we know they are going to put her into immediate foster care.”
“Mmmm, yeah, that’s gonna suck. Who does she live with?”
“She said she stays with her aunt.”
“Where’s the mother? “
“No mention.”
“I ain’t even going to ask about the father.”
“Oh please. Let’s keep this simple.”
“Yes, call the social worker on duty, but first clarify what happened. Make sure we got the correct story. You know the aunt can do some time behind this. It sucks if she does too, because there goes the shelter-hopping.”
“That’s better than getting abused.”
“Yeah, it is, but she’s going to be moved all over the place.”
“Well, it’s for her own good. She may have to share a bathroom and eat whatever, but hey, you know.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. I ain’t had one of these cases in a while.”
“True. It has been a while.”
Both the nurses walked over to me and helped me to my feet as the paramedics had arrived.
“Now tell me again, who did this to you?”
“No one. I fell.”
Nurse Moon looked at Nurse Greyer, and that was that. I fixed them. I wasn’t going to nobody’s foster care. That was a dead issue.
When I got to the hospital, they concluded that my arm had come out of its socket and was bruised at the bone. I had a fractured tail bone, which was why I couldn’t sit down without a pain shooting through my ass. My ankle was sprained, and my left cheekbone was fractured. I was just all messed up.
Big Bad Linda arrived while I was in my hospital bed being told of my conditions. She came not too long after I had been admitted into the ER. She shocked me with her fast response, but it wasn’t to see about my health. It was mainly to find out what story I had given to explain my injuries. She knew from what she had done that she could be in a heap of shit. She was lucky I’d heard the conversation between the nurses at school, because that’s what got her out of jail. I was not shelter-hopping. No way! I was staying home snaking out whatever she threw my way and hope that one day things would get better.
“Desire, what you done?”
“Ah, ma’am, are you her guardian?”
“Yes. Who are you?”
“I’m Dr. Snowden.”
“Oh okay, Dr. Snowden. I’m Linda Jones, her aunt. What’s going on here?”
“Well, she has a sprained ankle, a fractured tailbone and cheekbone, and a dislocated shoulder that’s severely bruised.”
“Hmmmm.” She sighed.
“Do you know how this happened?” The doctor asked.
She paused, not sure of what to say, because she knew she had done it.
I helped her out, to save my ass. “I told you I fell down the stairs.”
“I’m sorry. Can we talk outside, Mrs. Jones?”
“Sure.”
They walked out of the room and had a chitchat for a few. Auntie Linda waited outside the room while the doctor came back in to talk to me.
“Desire, I appreciate yo
u trying to help me out when I was talking to your aunt, but it wasn’t necessary. I had a little conversation with her to clear up a few things. Now, you say you fell down the stairs, but I’m not convinced. The type of injuries you have sustained would not come from a direct stair tumble. Anyway, I’ve explained this to your aunt, and I’m quite sure this won’t be happening again. I informed your aunt that if you are injured again from a “mysterious fall,” she will be liable. She will be in major trouble, if you get my drift. She’s outside talking with your P.O. She’ll be in soon. You get some rest in the meantime.”
He walked toward the door.
“And, Desire, don’t be afraid to tell the truth. You’re the victim here. By the way, happy birthday!”
“Thanks.”
The doctor walked out, and Auntie Linda walked in. She looked like she had been given the worst news ever. I couldn’t recall her looking that hurt when my uncle died.
“It’s always something with you. You ain’t hurt that bad. Got these people talking all kind of nonsense to me. You create more trouble than necessary. I swear.”
I lay there not knowing what to say.
“Whatever bull you’re pulling ain’t gonna work for long. I’ll see to that.” She opened the door to walk out. “I’ll be back to get you in a couple of days.” And she left.
As I lay in the bed with tears in my eyes, someone knocked on the door. Not knowing who it was, I quickly tried to dry my eyes. “Come in.”
“Why did you lie?”
“Huh?”
“Why didn’t you tell them that your aunt did it?”
I hunched my shoulders.
“Desire, this was your chance to say something and get help. You should have just said something. Your father is not helping you. Your uncle is dead. You don’t have anybody else. Why didn’t you say anything?” Jen was almost in tears.
“Because I don’t want to live in no shelter.”
“Who said you would have to live in a shelter? What are you talking about?”
“That’s what Nurse Moon was telling Nurse Greyer.”
“That’s not true, Desire.”
“It is true, and that’s why I didn’t say anything. Ain’t nobody gonna help me.”
“Why are you talking like that? I’m trying to help you. Why don’t you fight back? Hit that bitch back for a chance. Let her see how it feels to be laid up in the hospital.”
“I’m not tryin’-a get in trouble for hitting her and being disrespectful. Remember, I am still on probation.”
“Forget that. You got her now. That doctor knows you didn’t fall down the stairs. I heard his entire conversation with your aunt, and he had her shook. He told her he didn’t believe you had fallen down the stairs and knows what’s going on ’cause he dealt with situations like this before.”
“Hmmm.”
“That’s all you can say is hmm? Desire, you got a chance to get back at her. You can hold this against her. She can’t touch you anymore. She knows what will happen. Tell her you ain’t gonna put up with her shit no more and that you want to be taken off probation. And if she hits you again, then you’re going to tell the truth. Here, take the phone.” Jennifer handed me the phone. She was dead serious.
I don’t know what high horse she had ridden in on, but I wasn’t about to call my aunt talking no craziness. “No,” I refused.
“Fine. I’ll do it myself and pretend to be you.” She started dialing.
“Gimme, I’ll do it.” I attempted to grab the phone from her, but she moved away from the bed.
She threw me the phone. I held it but did not put it to my ear.
Jen ran over to me and tried to grab it, but I held on to it the best I could with one arm.
“You know what, Desire? I’m done. Forget it. Do what you want.” Jen politely hung up the phone and walked out on me.
With tears welling in my eyes, I stared at the glossy ceiling. My only friend had walked out on me. The only friend I had that was trying to help me. I sat there thinking that there had to be another way out, because I couldn’t lose another friend. Oh no, I had enough with this shit.
I picked up the phone and dialed home.
“Hello,” she answered with an attitude.
“Aunt-Auntie Lin—”
“Are you done stuttering? I know I didn’t hit you that hard.” She laughed.
I pulled the phone away from my ear, ready to hang it up, and I did. Then I sat in the bed and cried. I got up to use the bathroom, and pain shot all throughout my body. It was an unpleasant feeling, but I managed. I cried harder, wishing I wasn’t alive.
In the midst of my sorrowful moment, the phone rang. I picked it up and put the receiver to my ear but couldn’t get a hello out.
“All right, little hussy, don’t be playing on my phone. What you want?”
I paused before I spoke, afraid to give her a good lashing.
“I ain’t got all day. What you want?”
I remained silent, thought for a quick, and then said what the hell, I’m going to let her have it. I was hesitant because I thought about what would happen when I went home. If she created this much damage already, then it could get worse for me. But you know what? I was going to take a leap and let her have it. I’d had enough. This had to end. I was tired of being a punching bag. This had to stop.
“Hello. I told you I ain’t got all day.”
I took a deep breath and just went for it. “I want you to keep your fucking hands off of me. I ain’t no guinea pig or punching bag and—”
“Wait a minute. Who do—”
“No, you wait a minute. I’m talking, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll be quiet. We don’t want the doctor to know the truth now, do we?”
She was silent. Jen was right. I had her now, so I went for the gusto.
“Mmm-hmm, that’s what I thought. I lied for your ass, but I won’t do it again. When I get out of here, shit is going to change. You better call my P.O. and tell him you want me off of probation. There is going to be no more ‘Desire, do this’ and ‘Desire, do that.’ You cannot order me around anymore. I’m tired of being pushed around like I’m some toy car. I covered your ass, and this is how you repay me? No, you’re just like the kids in school. I can’t stand you, and I can’t stand them.” I hung up the phone.
“I hate ’em! I hate ’em! I hate ’em! I hate everybody,” I screamed out loud.
I couldn’t take it anymore. No one appreciated me. I was always being called out of my name, and I was sick of that shit. My father was a jerk. My aunt was beyond that. The kids at school were my worst enemies.
If Auntie wanted war, then she got it. Let her have put her hands on me again. She was going to be the one in the hospital. And those bastards at school, yeah, I had something for them. I fixed all the nasty rumors and mended my broken heart. They wanted to call me a ho, and that’s what I became. Since my aunt always thought I was up to something, huh, I was going to be. You bet your bottom dollar.
I unofficially checked myself out of the hospital. I was supposed to wait on my aunt to check me out, but to my advantage, I had a not-so-bright nurse who left my discharge papers in the room before my aunt arrived. So, of course, I signed my aunt’s name, and when the nurse came back in almost thirty minutes later, I played as if my aunt arrived in a hurry, signed the papers, and left to pull the car up. She believed me, offered that I be wheeled out. I refused the assistance and crutched it out on my own, explaining to her that I wanted to get used to using the crutches with one arm. She agreed to my decision and sent me on my way.
I went to the train station across the street from the hospital, took public transportation with my student pass that got me on for free. It was a struggle with the crutches and all, but I knew I would be good once I got to the train station. My student pass allowed me eight free taxi miles from the train station nearest my home. I got to my destined train station and got a cab with no problem.
The cab pulled on to my street. I noticed
my P.O. pulling off. Hmph, I wonder what that was about. As I was getting out, my aunt was coming out the door.
“Desire, honey, I was just on my way to pick you up from the hospital. They put you in a cab?”
I looked at my aunt like she was crazy. Who was she calling honey? I may have put my foot down, but what was up with the sweet talk?
“Let me help you inside and get you something to eat.”
“I’m not hungry. What was my P.O. doing here?”
“He dropped off the papers for me to sign to take you off of probation.”
“Did you sign them?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Cool.”
I hopped in the house with my crutches and scrambled my way upstairs to my room. I limped in tired, noticing it was rearranged and spotlessly cleaned. I was impressed. My talk really worked. I had to thank Jen. She was my rock that made me realize that I was being a damn fool. Huh, I wasn’t going to be a fool any longer. Not at home or school. I had my mind made up.
I let my aunt play the nice role until it got on my nerves. I had to get out of the house. I had some research to do.
I gathered my things to leave. My body was aching, but that wasn’t stopping me. My doctor gave me some pills strong enough to knock the pain out for hours. I wasn’t supposed to be involved with any activity after taking them, but I liked the way they made me feel. I swallowed two OxyContin and hopped my way to the front door.
“Desire, where you going?”
“To the library. I need to do some research for class.”
“You need to rest.”
“I need to do my work. I’m going to the library.”
“Let me drop you off.”
“I’m fine. I can ride the bus.”
“Not while you’re on crutches.”
“I got home on crutches.”
“I’m taking you. Come on.”
I let Aunt Linda have her way and take me to the library. I sat the entire ride in a daze. I was high in a zone, and my mind was racing a mile a minute. I had so many mischievous scenes replaying in my mind, I had to laugh out loud.
“You okay over there?”
“Yup,” I answered, smiling.