by Tia Hines
I’m preparing my bag now for the mission transmitting this disease to some more gullible people. I have to stay equipped with my Anal Eaze, pain pills, and whatever other paraphernalia I needed, depending on the situation or event. I was thinking of pulling an all-nighter tonight, since I was in a very giving mood, if you feel what I’m sayin’.
All eyes were definitely on me when I stepped through the door. Eyes were stuck on me like sap on a tree. I was the “shizznit.” Damn, I scared myself sometimes.
“Delicious Desire.”
“Freddy Montana.”
“What’s up, girl? You looking tasty, Desire.”
“Mmmm. Not too bad there yourself, pretty boy.”
“I try,” Freddy said, dusting his shoulders off.
“Oh, do you?”
“Yes, Desire. I do,” he responded, licking his lips.
“You like saying my name, huh?”
“How’d you know?” He winked.
I laughed. “Holla at me later.”
“You know that’s the plan, baby.”
“Cool. I’ll be waiting,” I said, as he stared back at me walking away. I laughed again.
Jen gave me a dirty look. “You’re a trip.”
“Why?”
“Because . . . how can you like what you’re doing?”
“I’m a sex addict. It’s a craving.”
“Oh, please. It makes you look like a slut.”
“Thanks for the compliment.”
“Any time. Just make sure you stay keeping it strapped. I don’t give you condoms for my health.”
I felt bad about lying to my best friend. She thought I was really addicted to having sex, protected sex, that is. I mean, come on, let’s face it. She was the very first person to start the rumors seventh grade year anyway. I’d just finally built up the courage to finish what she started. Besides, she was the dumb one for really thinking I was addicted to sex.
I kept myself healthy though, and I stayed protected in a different kind of way. I took my daily pills for this shit I had. I wasn’t no fool. I had to stay alive to keep giving this shit away. Wasn’t gonna be no fun if the homies couldn’t have none, ya heard.
I know you’re like, “But what about these dirty nuccas out here that you’re sleeping with?”
Yeah. They could’ve given me something too, but my system was full of penicillin. I did my own examination. If I felt an itch coming on, I popped a pill.
Most of the dudes I slept with anyway were high-school students. They were the easiest. Not saying the older cats ain’t too dumb either, but it was just easier to get the young ones to run up in this pussy raw. I even took penicillin after I slept with someone, just in case they had something. I was still on OxyContin. My prescribed bottle was gone, but you know me, I found a way to get whatever I wanted.
This Arab dude that I let hit it on a regular basis worked as a pharmacist at the same Walgreens where I’d met the security dude, Derrick. Anyways, he hooked me up with whatever I needed.
My legit prescribed pills for the HIV, I got those straight from the clinic on the low. The pharmacist dude had no clue either. I used the pharmacy inside of the hospital to fill those prescriptions. I laughed inside at all of this. Every time he hit it raw, he thought he was getting a free piece of ass in exchange for some doctor goodies.
“Yo, Jen, I’m about to go in the room with Freddy.”
“Oookay, be careful.”
“Yeah, yeah. Go pop a Red Bull or something.”
Jen flipped me her middle finger playfully and walked away.
I followed Freddy into a back room, where there were four other dudes. I knew all of them from school. They were the “newbies” on the block, seventh grade boys celebrating going into the eighth grade. Freddy knew how to choose young, cute, fresh meat. He earned his cool points for the year.
“Freddy, I see you got company.”
Freddy walked over to me and pulled me to the side. “Yeah, ah, my little brother and his friends are new to this. I told them, you know, they could get their first piece if—”
“You know I got you.” I walked away from Freddy and walked over to his little brother and friends. “Who’s first?” I asked loud and clear.
They all stood up, pushing each other out of the way, arguing.
“Yo, I got this first.”
“No, I got this,” Freddy announced.
“Y’all said I could go first,” one of the boys begged.
“Nah. Ain’t none of y’all going first. This is my hookup. Just sit tight. You’ll get your turn.”
“Yo, how we know you ain’t got nothing, if we beatin’ it up after you?”
“Young one, please. I take good care of my dick. I ain’t got shit.”
I just stood watching and listening, laughing inside. These idiots were worried about what they had and not even questioning me. Can we say stupid?
I hooked every last one of them up, with breaks in between, taking shots of vodka straight up.
Freddy wanted one last hit, but I was too wasted. The shots had taken a toll on me, and I was hardly aware of my surroundings.
“Yo, Dee, you all right?”
I was feeling sick to my stomach.
“I don’t feel good.”
Freddy rushed me out of the room, and we bumped into Jen, who was standing guard by the door.
“What happened? What you do to her?”
“I didn’t do nothing to her.”
Jen held me up, and Freddy let me go.
“Jen, I gotta throw up.”
“Come on,” she said with an attitude, and she dragged me to the bathroom.
I ran to the toilet and Splash! Vomit towered on the toilet seat. I fell to my knees, and more vomit came out nonstop. I lay my head on the toilet, not able to hold it up.
Jen screamed on me, “Look at you. I can’t believe you. Why’d you drink so much?”
“I wanna leave you so bad. This is disgusting. Damn, Desire! You really know how to—”
“J—just l—leave. I’m . . . fine . . . ’kay. Bye.”
“You can’t even talk.”
“I said that.”
“What?”
“Yeah, ’kay,” I slurred, not knowing what the hell I was talking about.
What I wanted to say was, “Help me up,” but I couldn’t get the words out. My head slid off the toilet seat, and I hit the floor. I was out for the count.
I woke up with a pounding headache. I felt like shit lying in some bed. Where am I? I looked around to see where I was. I had my night clothes on. I realized I was in my bed. How’d I get home?
I sat up then lay back down. The throbbing was too much to bear. I lay on my side with my back to the door. I heard my door open. My head was throbbing so badly, I couldn’t even turn around to see who was coming in. It couldn’t be anybody but my aunt though.
I felt hands on me. I turned over, forgetting about my booming headache, interested in finding out who was touching me. I came face to face with my probation officer, who forced me on my stomach and placed me in handcuffs.
“What are you doing? Get off of me!”
“Yeah, get her out of here,” my aunt yelled.
“Where am I going?” I asked, not really able to resist.
Auntie Linda stood there with a smirk on her face.
This bitch done snitched on me. Muthafucka! She couldn’t wait for this day. Damn! This wasn’t supposed to go down like this.
“Where am I going?” I repeated.
Auntie yelled, “I want you out of my house! You think you slick. You ain’t slick. Out there sleeping around.”
My P.O. pulled me off the bed.
I moaned, feeling pathetic and nauseous. “What are you talking about?”
“You know what I’m talking about. Don’t play stupid with me. What? You still drunk?”
“No,” I answered, a bit agitated from being interrogated in handcuffs, like I was some kind of criminal.
“Do you eve
n know how you got home?”
“It doesn’t matter. I got here.”
“‘It doesn’t matter. I got here,’” she repeated in my face. “Huh. Your ass was laid out on the porch. Yeah. Your little chicken-shit friends brought you home, laid you on the porch, and rang the door bell. Now you tell me if that ain’t straight-up disrespectful or what.”
“Is what disrespectful?”
“Desire, you are not twenty-one and not even eighteen. What the hell do you think you’re doing? You out there being nasty and having sex.” She picked up my open book bag and began throwing the contents at me. She hit me with the condom packets in the bag. “Glad to know you were protected. And look here. You on drugs too?” She threw the bottle at me.
“That ain’t mine. That ain’t my bag,” I lied.
“Like hell, it ain’t. I trusted your lying ass, Desire. I knew you were too good to be true.”
“You never believe me. That’s the problem.”
“I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and you blew it. I want you out of my house. Take her out of my house!” she screamed. “I’m tired of looking at her!”
“No, I ain’t going nowhere!”
“Oh, you getting out of here, heiffa!”
“No! Get off of me!” I began to go wild with the little strength I had.
“Desire, settle down and—”
“No, fuck off! Get off of me! Get off me,” I screamed, feeling dizzy.
“Desire, calm down.”
“No, fuck you! Get the hell off of me!”
“Hey, chill out! Calm down. Let’s make this an easy process.”
“No, no, nooooooooooooooooooooo!”
“Hold her still. I got something to calm her down.”
“Noooooooooo, you bitches! Get the fuck off!”
When I opened my eyes, I was in an unfamiliar bed, and my body felt weary. I lay still as I looked around the dark, enclosed room that had a night light that barely shined bright enough for me to see. I looked for a door to find my way out, but the walls looked the same, showing no sign of an exit.
Suddenly an opening appeared across the room, and this heavyset, charcoal-toned woman barged in the door and made her way to me. “Get up, wild child! You hard of hearing?”
I got up and put on the dusty sneakers by my bed, and she led me to a hallway where there was a line of girls. Every one of them had on the same blue T-shirt that read DYS. I glanced down at myself and noticed I had on the same attire. It was definitely not what I’d left the house in. My aunt, that bitch, committed me to DYS lockup.
From the look of things, I wasn’t going to like it here. I wanted to break loose, but I knew that wasn’t about to happen. I took my place in line and followed the leader. We were ushered to a spacious room with about fifteen twin-sized beds that sat side by side.
“Good morning, ladies. My name is Miss Sheila, and I will be going over a few things with you today. First off, I want you to locate your bed. You can do this by looking on the wall and finding your first initial with your last name above your bed. Once you locate your name, please walk to your space.”
I waltzed over to my bed with an attitude, as every girl in there did. I viewed my surroundings once again. I scoped every girl in there and tried to figure out why they were here. I tried to conclude what their purpose was. None of them looked as hard-core and rough as most problem teenage girls did, but who was I to judge? I didn’t look like it either. And we were probably in here on the same status—bullshit!
“Now that everyone has gotten acquainted with their space, it is time to get down to business. Some of you may have awakened in a different area, which is what we call the black hole, not really a fun place to be for a young lady. But when you don’t follow the rules, that’s where you’ll be.”
Some girl blurted, “Can we just get to the rules? Damn!”
“Hey, Margie, can we get Miss Veronica here some soap? Because she obviously has not learned her lesson, and she already knows the rules.”
Veronica mumbled, “Whatever.”
Everyone stood around quiet anticipating some type of action because although Veronica whispered, she was heard loud and clear.
Miss Sheila gave her a dead stare for about thirty seconds. Surprisingly, Veronica stood timid. I thought with her smart mouth she’d remain bold. She stood with her head down like she hadn’t spoken a word.
Miss Sheila walked over to her, lifted her chin, and smiled in her face. “I’ll deal with you later,” she whispered in her face and walked away.
“Let’s stay focused, ladies. Cut the shit. And I’m not asking, I’m telling you—Cut the shit! We are on a schedule here. I know you don’t want this to run into your lunchtime. Ooooh, no, you don’t want that, especially since you haven’t had any breakfast this morning. I know you’re hungry right now too ’cause I can hear your stomachs growling. I can miss lunch though because I had my big breakfast this morning: scrambled eggs, bacon, grits, and pancakes. I’m cool. I don’t need a lunch, but y’all do.
“We made a special lunch too—fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, mash potatoes, green beans, yams, and for dessert, sweet potato pie. I’d hate for you all to miss out on a meal like that because I’m telling you, you won’t see nothing like that for a while. A good while. Therefore, there will be no more interruptions. If you gotta piss, then hold it. If you got a question, don’t ask. Remain attentive and listen carefully because I’m not going to repeat myself. Now, with that out of the way, we shall continue.
“There are simple rules that must be followed. I will say them once and only once. They are too simple and self-explanatory to repeat.” She paced the room for a second, just looking around at the group of girls before she continued to speak.
“Okay, number one: Be respectful to others and, most of all, yourselves. Number two: No talking allowed unless you are in this area, but only before seven P.M. After seven P.M., the talking ceases until your rise-and-shine time, which is six o’clock every morning, no questions asked. You are permitted to talk in the mess hall, but that is the only other place. Number three: There will be no gossiping allowed whatsoever. If I hear any she said-she said, you will be disciplined accordingly. Number four, ladies: No fighting, plain and simple. Number five: No profanity. If I hear so much as a—”
Whispers interrupted her speaking. Apparently, it seemed that some people had no idea what profanity meant.
“Is there a problem, ladies?”
No one answered, while a few people snickered.
I was getting agitated from the silly interruptions. I sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes as people stood around like we had time to waste. I was ready to eat. Shit!
“A question requires an answer, ladies.”
Still no one uttered a word.
I wanted to say something, but I knew what profanity meant. I wasn’t about to look like the idiot and get yelled at. Besides, I knew this Miss Sheila lady was trying to trick someone into talking. It damn sure was not going to be me. I looked around, waiting for the person who didn’t know what profanity meant to speak up.
Miss Sheila looked at her watch. “Lunch is in fifteen minutes, and we still have not gotten halfway through the tour.”
I sucked my teeth, upset that I might miss lunch.
“Do we have a problem, Miss Jones?”
I rolled my eyes and answered with an attitude.
“What?” she asked as she walked over to me.
I tensed up.
She yelled in my face. “Are you hard of hearing?”
“No!”
She continued to yell in my face. “No what?”
“What?” I was mad that she was yelling in my face, invading my territory. I knew she was trying to get me to say ma’am, but I was in a stubborn mood. She needed to back the fuck up. I didn’t have time for the bullshit.
“We got another smart-ass I see.”
I rolled my eyes and fluttered them.
“Don’t roll them too hard, honey.
You might get them caught in the back of your head.”
I rolled them again.
“I see you like to roll them eyes there.”
I rolled them again.
“You know you just broke a rule, right?”
I stood there and directed my attention to the corner of the room.
“Look at me when I’m talking to you.”
I huffed, rolled my eyes, and positioned them in her direction. I wanted to sock her a quick blow to the noggin, but I kept my composure.
“What’s the attitude for?”
I stood there not answering.
“My questions require an answer.”
Some girl blurted out, “Bitch, can you answer her so we can hurry up and eat. Damn.”
Miss Sheila turned her attention to the voice. While she turned around, I flipped the little ignorant broad the bird.
“Fuck you too!”
Miss Sheila looked back and forth at me and the girl.
“Whatever, stupid,” I responded.
“Ya moth—”
“Hold up, ladies. Not here, not now, not in my presence. Oh no.”
“I don’t like being called stupid.”
“And I don’t like being rudely interrupted. Furthermore, I don’t care about what you don’t like. You are in my house, and you will follow my rules. You got it?”
The girl stood there quiet, and Sheila walked over to her. “You got it?”
“Yeah, I got it.”
“Yes, I got it what?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Thank you, Miss Henderson.”
Sheila stepped away and went back to the center of the floor. She continued with the rules and regulations, and everyone cooperated so that we didn’t miss lunch.