Marienne was also asleep. The television remote was still in her hand. Drew was nestled in the cradle alongside the bed. He was having a growth spurt and was nursing every few hours so they’d decided to keep him as close by as possible. Daniel watched him sleep, checking to make sure his little chest was rising and falling. He’d always heard about parents checking to make sure their kids were still breathing, but he hadn’t realized what a compulsion it could be.
Daniel took off his shirt and pants and gingerly lifted the covers, trying not to wake Marienne. She shifted and curled up with her head on his chest. He kissed the back of her head. She smelled warm and sweet, like sleep. Her hand grazed across his belly then stilled. She was already back asleep. He glanced over at Drew once more, still resting peacefully. Still breathing. Within minutes Daniel drifted off too.
Marienne awoke to the sound of Drew restlessly gurgling. She looked at the clock. It was nearly 5am. Wow. He made it almost five hours. She scooted to her side of the bed and lifted him out of the cradle before he let out a full cry. “Good morning sweet boy.” She whispered as she lifted the flap on her nursing nightgown. He immediately rooted around and found her nipple. His tiny fingernails dug into her breast. “We need to trim your nails little man.” She looked at his hand, still amazed at how razor sharp baby’s nails could feel.
He sucked so hard she gasped. Her other breast responded by tingling. She reached for a nursing pad but it was too late. Half her nightshirt was already soaked. She sighed. More laundry. She wiggled her finger between Drew’s insistent lips to break the seal. He swallowed hard and was about to scream, but she shifted him to her other breast and he realized there was more breakfast waiting. He suckled hard, grabbing her breast again. Must clip nails. She yawned. Morning nursing made her the sleepiest. She was always afraid she’d doze off, and he’d roll right off her lap. She’d lined the floor alongside the bed with king-sized pillows just in case.
Daniel slept peacefully. His hand was on his chest, where her head had been. She wished she could curl up on him and go back to sleep. For a week. She looked down to see Drew staring up at her, watching her intently. He looked so much like Daniel. She smiled and bent to kiss the feather soft hair on his head. She wondered how long he’d stay blond. His little round cheeks moved in perfect rhythm. She rubbed his pudgy arm. He was a much calmer baby than Ella had been. Or maybe she was the one who was calmer.
Everything had been so new with Ella. First time mom. First baby she’d ever known. First of her friends to have kids. Frank always at work. If it hadn’t been for Daniel she’d have lost her mind. He was the one who watched Ella to give her a break so she could take a shower or run to the store or go to work for a day. It was no wonder Ella had taken to calling him daddy so quickly. She’d barely known Frank at all. Daniel was the only real father she’d ever known. “You’re a lucky little boy.” She kissed his head again. The corners of his mouth tugged into a smile and her nipple popped out his mouth. His eyes twinkled up at her then he attached himself to her breast again. She glanced at Daniel once more. “You’ve got the best daddy in the whole world.”
Marienne hoped that Drew would go back to sleep when he stopped nursing, but he was wide awake. He gurgled happily in her lap. She frowned down at him but he cooed and she couldn’t help but smile. It’s genetically impossible for you to be a morning person, why are you so wide awake?
She lifted him onto her shoulder and eased out of bed. It was nice to finally be able to stand up without her incision tugging too much. She grabbed her robe off the rocking chair and shoved her feet into her fuzzy slippers. Daniel had another hour to sleep before his alarm went off and Ella’s room was quiet.
“Let’s say we make some muffins for Daddy and your sister.”
She shuffled down the stairs, yawning again.
Daniel awoke to the smell of cinnamon and pumpkin. He yawned and stretched. His alarm was due to go off in two minutes. He flicked the switch before it started to screech. He was about to doze off when he heard Ella’s feet thumping down the hallway.
“Morning Daddy.” She practically flew onto the bed.
“Morning sweet girl.” He pulled her into a hug.
She kissed him on the cheek. “Don’t fall back asleep.”
He laughed. “I won’t. It smells like muffins. I can’t sleep if there are muffins that need to be eaten.”
Ella giggled and he tickled her. She scrambled off the bed. He sat up slowly and scratched his head. It was cold outside the covers. He grabbed the sweatshirt off his dresser and pulled it over his head. Ella took him by the hand and dragged him into the hallway. “Can I ride down?” she asked.
“Of course.” He crouched so she could climb onto his back. She clasped her hands in front of his neck, and he held onto them as he trotted down the stairs.
Marienne was stirring cocoa on the stove. Her eyelids shut for longer than a blink, as though she might nod off standing there.
Drew was in his infant seat, watching her.
Marienne turned and smiled. “Morning.”
“Good morning.” He kissed her head then turned so Ella was next to her. “I found this little girl upstairs. I think she’s here for muffins.”
Ella giggled.
Daniel walked over to the table and let Ella climb down onto her chair. He bent to kiss Drew then went back to Marienne. He rubbed her shoulders as she stirred the hot chocolate. She leaned her head back against his chest, rolling her neck.
“Did you sleep?” he asked.
“Some.” She yawned. “He made it almost five hours. I got up twice to check on him though.”
“I’m sorry.” He wished he could do something to let her rest more. “I’d get up and nurse him but I’m afraid I’m not equipped.”
“I know. But that’s okay. I prefer my men flat chested.”
He pulled her tighter against him. “I’m glad.”
She turned off the stove.
“You could try pumping again, you know. I’d gladly get up and give him a bottle.”
“It takes too long, and he doesn’t seem to like a bottle. I think he’d hold out for the real thing.”
“Can’t say I blame him.” Daniel grinned.
Marienne swatted him with a potholder.
“I’m just saying….”
She poured cocoa into Ella’s mug then added some milk to cool it down. “Careful, sweetie, it’s still hot.”
“Marshmallows?” Daniel grabbed the bag from the cupboard, knowing the answer.
“Yes, lots.”
Daniel sprinkled the mini-puffs into her cup. Ella poked at them with her spoon, humming to herself.
He dropped another handful into Marienne’s mug. He wondered if she was too tired to talk. “I got an email last night.” He paused. “From Justine.”
Marienne’s eyes bugged. “Really?” She put a muffin in front of Ella and handed another to Daniel.
“Yes.” He took a bite. Pumpkin, just as he’d thought. “Mmm that’s good.” It was still warm.
“What did she say?” Marienne’s eyes darted back and forth between his.
He wondered if he shouldn’t have mentioned it. “Not much, really. She talked to an old schoolmate of ours who had heard that I’d taken a job at Dartmouth. I think she’s a bit miffed she found out from someone else. You know she likes to be the first to know everything.”
“True.”
“Honestly I’m surprised that was enough to prompt a message. I hadn’t heard from her in almost a year. Not that I’d tried to contact her. We don’t have anything to say to each other.”
Marienne’s expression relaxed and Daniel was glad. She had absolutely no reason to feel on edge. Justine was no threat to her. She never had been. Daniel had been drawn to Marienne since the first time he’d met her. It had taken a while for him to realize how drawn, but the connection had been immediate.
They were simply meant to be.
Chapter 18
It had been nearly six week
s since Drew was born. Daniel was well aware of the date not only because of how much Drew had grown, but because that was how long the doctor had said Marienne would need to wait before having intercourse. As much as Daniel loved having Drew in their lives he missed having sex with Marienne. A lot.
“We’ll need to use a condom.” Marienne warned him. He headed to the drugstore the next day and stood in awe of the selection. He hadn’t used one in over a decade. Justine had been on the pill the entire time they were dating and married, and Marienne had too, until they decided to try to get pregnant. Ribbed. Lubricated. Spermicidal. Natural skin? He felt as ridiculous as a teenager. He bought a variety, hoping Marienne might have more knowledge of which was best and hoping that perhaps they’d get around to using all of them.
It occurred to him that six weeks was not a magical number of days. Her body might be ready a few days before, or might not be ready for a few more weeks. It didn’t matter. He just wanted to try. It was all he’d been able to think about for days. Being with her again, close to her, inside her.
The house was quiet when he got home. Ella’s door was closed. Daniel assumed Marienne was upstairs nursing.
He headed straight to their bedroom to stash his purchase in the bedside table. To his delight he found Marienne, napping, alone. He eased onto the bed alongside her, watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful, curled into a ball, already in a nightgown though it was only eight in the evening. He wrapped himself around her, breathing in her sweet vanilla scent.
Marienne was dreaming. She was on a beach, watching the waves, the gentle rhythm relaxing her, then she felt strong arms around her. Daniel’s arms. She leaned back into them, snuggling against him. His breath caressed her neck, as gentle as the breeze. She sighed, feeling him move against her.
It took a moment for her to realize that she was no longer asleep. Daniel’s nose grazed along her ear, his heat radiating through her. She pulled his arm tighter around her. “Mmmmmm.”
“I’m sorry I woke you,” he whispered, his mouth still skimming her skin. “I just couldn’t resist.”
She turned to face him, wincing as her incision pulled. He cringed at the sound. “Are you okay?” Worry darkened his eyes.
“I’m fine,” she said, angling toward him as his erection pressed against her. “I miss you.” She ran her hand over his back, pulling his hips closer.
“Three more days,” he said, his lips brushing hers.
Heat pooled between her legs. Kissing him felt so good, and it had been so long…. “Let’s try now.”
Daniel pulled back. “Really?”
Marienne answered by kissing him and beginning to unbuckle his belt. She worked her way past shirt tails and boxers until her fingers wrapped around him. So warm. So smooth. She’d forgotten how good it felt to touch him. He moaned into her mouth, his hand skimming the edge of her panties.
He hesitated. “You’re sure this is okay? I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’ll tell you if it hurts.” She arched against his fingers to show him how wet she was. She wanted him so badly she almost forgot about the condom.
Daniel rolled to the other side of the bed and opened his nightstand drawer. “I bought these today.” He handed her four boxes of condoms.
She laughed. “Feeling optimistic?”
“Feeling foolish. I’d no idea what to buy. Do you have a preference?”
She shook her head. “Let’s go with these. The box is pretty.”
Daniel opened the carton with enough gusto that the condoms flipped all over the bed. Marienne plucked one off the pillow. “Do you want to do the honors, or should I?”
“By all means.” Daniel laid back, his eyes gleaming.
She tore the package open, trying to remember the best way to do this. She turned the condom over, twice, trying to figure out which way it unrolled. The sight of Daniel, ready to go, was distracting her. She reached down and stroked him, wishing she could just climb on top of him, but she knew that wasn’t a good idea. His erection bobbed impatiently when she let go.
Pinch the tip then roll.
“Nicely done,” he said, tugging her down next to him. “Now where were we?”
He swept her hair aside and nuzzled her neck, his hand moving over her breast. No sooner did he touch her nipple than the whimpers could be heard echoing from the baby monitor. Within a second they became full-on wails.
Drew was awake.
Marienne groaned, “Oh no.”
The second she heard his screams her breasts began to tingle as her milk let down, soaking not only her shirt, but Daniel’s. The look on his face was one she’d just as well not have seen, a mix of frustration and sadness.
“I’m sorry.” She scrambled out of bed as the cries got louder.
Daniel flopped back against the pillows. His shirt clung to his chest in two round spots where Marienne had leaked. The pale yellow condom seemed to be mocking him. He reached down and rolled it off, thankful he’d gone so many years without using one. He was about to head to the bathroom when the doorbell rang.
What now? He pulled on his pants and trotted down the stairs. The UPS guy greeted him with a smile and a delivery that belonged to their next door neighbor. If we had started to have sex this would have ruined it anyway.
Today was clearly not the right day.
Chapter 19
A few nights later Daniel was more than ready to try again. Marienne had been grinning at him all through dinner, and it was all he could do not to pull her into the laundry room and ravish her on the pile of unfolded clothes.
Ella fell asleep on the couch. Daniel debated letting her sleep there. He was afraid she’d wake up if he carried her to bed. Marienne assured him she wouldn’t. They’d had a busy day, and Ella was exhausted. He gingerly placed her on her bed, holding his breath when she yawned and stretched. She curled onto her side and was back asleep in an instant. Thank God.
Daniel dimmed the lights in the bedroom while he waited for Marienne to finish getting Drew settled. He knew she’d prefer darkness. She was still complaining that she was fat from the pregnancy. Daniel didn’t care. He just wanted to see her.
He shifted, tying to get comfortable. His erection strained against his jeans. He decided to take them off and get in bed.
It seemed like an eternity before he heard Marienne tiptoe down the hallway. She shut their bedroom door, careful to be as quiet as possible, then turned to face him.
She smiled. “I was afraid you’d be asleep.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No. That took forever.”
“Come here.” He sat up in bed, resisting the temptation to leap up and take her against the closet door.
She sat down on the edge of the bed, the soft light reflecting off her darkened eyes. He began undoing the buttons on her shirt. “You’re wearing far too many clothes.”
She lifted the covers and laughed. “You’re not.”
He pulled her into a kiss, dragging her down on top of him. The sensation of her breasts crushed against his chest made him throb. She curled her fingers around him, caressing him with long, slow strokes.
“Careful,” he said. He didn’t want things to be over before they’d even started. Her hand felt so good he didn’t trust himself to be able to hold back.
“I’m not worried.” She buried her tongue in his mouth and he could no longer think about anything at all.
Marienne listened for any sound of Drew awakening as she watched Daniel roll on the condom. She didn’t want any interruptions this time. Her body ached to feel him on top of her, inside her. She was beyond impatient. Please let this go well. And don’t let it hurt too much.
He kissed her, his silky hair grazing her cheek then her neck as he trailed his lips to her collarbone. His fingers, tender and gentle, ran up her thigh making her insides flutter with anticipation.
She wrapped her arms around him, drawing him closer, until he was situated. His hardness rubbed against her. “Rea
dy?” he asked, his eyes searching hers.
“God yes.” She took a breath and placed the tip of him inside her. The condom rasped a little, but she didn’t care. She tilted her hips and raised them, loving the sound he emitted as he slipped all the way in.
He moved slowly and she knew he was trying to be as gentle as possible, but she was still a bit sore. She shifted beneath him, trying to find a position that was comfortable.
“Are you okay?” He held still, his face colored with concern.
She ran her knuckles across his cheek then brought her lips to his. Kissing him sent a wave of heat rippling through her. She could feel the ache in her belly lessening as everything liquefied. Daniel expanded inside her, his cock felt hard as stone. She rocked back and forth, knowing he was close to coming.
The pressure built deep within her as she swelled around him. It felt so good to be with him again. She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate, willing herself to let go. Daniel started to shake, his lips more urgent against hers, then she felt him give way. He cried out, muffling the sound against the pillow behind her head. She quickened her pace. She was close. So close. But it wasn’t going to happen.
Daniel continued to move and she knew he was trying to help her along. She kissed him, running her fingers through his hair. “It’s okay,” she said
He pulled back to look at her, his brow pinched. “I can keep going.”
She smiled. He still seemed rock hard. “I’m sure you could, but it’s not necessary.”
He stilled. “Am I hurting you?”
“No, it’s just not going to happen. Not today.”
“Oh.” He raised his hips and slipped off her, looking confused.
She waited until he’d removed the condom and lay back down. She ran her hand down his chest, playing with the hair on his tummy. “It’s no big deal.” She kissed his arm. “It takes a while to get back into things after all the baby hormones.”
HOLDING ON (The Destiny Series Book 2) Page 10