“I…” He looked to the whiskey, looked to the doctor. “I can’t go, Edward. Estelle…she thought I loved the ocean more than her. Did you know that? It would be disrespectful to her memory. I just can’t.” Feeling a weak man, he gave in and took a swig of the alcohol.
“John…” Edward squeezed his forearm and looked deep into his eyes, gaze brimming with sincere compassion. “Estelle knew you loved her more than the waves. She knew. Go and join your friend. Have a grand adventure. You deserve it, lad.”
Unshed tears burned John’s eyes. He swallowed hard and looked away from the doctor. “B-but…I see her, Edward. All the time, I see her. She asks me why. Why I loved the ocean more than her.” He shook his head and stood to pace the cottage from end to end.
Doctor Gibbons stopped him near the one window the cottage sported. He took John by the shoulders. “No, John, you’re not seeing Estelle. Her ghost?” The doctor tapped the side of his head. “It’s all up here, friend. You’re torturing yourself, because you blame yourself for her death. Stop it, right now. Go and join Oscar. Take the next train to Kent. If you hurry,” he paused to check his watch, “you can catch the one that leaves before supper.”
John was almost compelled to break down, sob like a child, right there in his friend’s arms. Instead he choked out a ‘thank you,’ and Doctor Gibbons helped him gather some belongings in a carpet bag.
Doctor Gibbons also offered him a ride to the station, which he gratefully accepted. On the way there, when the conversation tapered off and a comfortable silence reigned, John let himself drift into thoughts of Oscar.
He remembered a time, almost ten summers ago now, when he and his dear friend had been more than friends. A blissful summer when they had taken one another as secret lovers—long before John met and married Estelle.
John and Oscar had grown so close that summer, lost in many an afternoon of lovemaking and armchair philosophy. They’d talked about the nature of sexuality, which they both believed was truly fluid, and societal conventions, they agreed, confused humans on what was really natural.
“Love doesn’t know boundaries like body parts,” Oscar told him one afternoon, as they’d laid in each others’ arms in the old home John had grown up in. “We’re the ones who make up silly rules about who can love whom. Nature doesn’t do that. Humans do.”
“I’m going to miss you,” John whispered, and then wrapped his arms tighter about Oscar.
“I’ll miss you, too.” Oscar trailed a finger down John’s nose and lips. “But you can’t pass up this opportunity. It’s a wonderful thing your father’s doing for you. He knows how much you love the sea. Just think—you’ll have your own ship, be a captain, in only two years.”
“The old man’s motives aren’t pure,” John said. “He thinks you’re a bad influence. Wants to get me away from you.”
Oscar’s eyes widened. “He doesn’t suspect us, does he?”
John shook his head and laughed. “He thinks you keep me out all night with the ladies. Carousing, he calls it.”
Oscar shared in his laughter. “Well, regardless of his motives, it’s a great opportunity. Be happy, John. We’ll see each other again.”
John brushed a hand down Oscar’s cheek. “But not like this.”
Oscar kissed the palm of John’s hand. “We can make the most of our last night.”
John took his lover’s face in his hands and kissed him, teasing apart Oscar’s lips with his tongue, then plunging it into his sweet mouth. With one hand, he cupped the back of Oscar’s head, while the other travelled lower, down his body, to coil around his lover’s stiff cock. Oscar moaned and arched upward as John stroked him up and down.
John applied some of the olive oil he’d pinched from the kitchen to his hands. “Turn your ass to me.”
He licked Oscar’s ear, and Oscar complied, while John slathered his lover’s cock in the slick oil. Reaching behind himself, he applied another dollop of oil to his hand, then spread it up and down his own penis.
Oscar bucked and moaned while John still pumped him. With his penis, John urged Oscar to spread his legs, and he stopped pleasuring his lover long enough to spread Oscar’s cheeks and slide his thick cock deep inside his ass. The he wrapped his big hand around Oscar’s cock once more and pumped him while he thrust in and out of his lover.
Oscar began to tremble from the pleasure, and he dug his fingers into one of John’s massive, corded arms as he rocked back and forth furiously under the power of orgasm.
“We’re here just in time.” Doctor Gibbons voice burst his erotic memories, and John shook his head as he focused on the present. “Looks like the last train is boarding.”
***
Chapter 1
Aurelia Owen hardly noted the uplifting chirps of the redbreast outside the open window as she wandered the stables that early summer morning. Although the sound could draw on anyone’s emotions, bringing serenity to the surface, it did nothing to sway her. Desensitized to any stimuli, she stared at her bag, resting on a stack of hay, as she waited. Waited for the only person whom she could trust with her life.
The knock came after what seemed like an eternity—soft, barely audible rapping. She jumped at the sound and quietly ran to the door. Opening it, she raised her index finger to her puckered lips, signalling her sister shouldn’t speak until the door closed behind her.
Aurelia took her hand, guiding her farther into the stables, away from the door and window just in case anyone should be awake at this ungodly hour and walking close by.
Rose crossed her arms over her chest. “Why on earth did you ask me to meet you here at sunrise?” She caught sight of the bag and pointed. “What’s this?”
Aurelia came closer, resting her hand on the bag’s handle. “What do you think, dear sister?”
“No.” Rose’s eyes widened, her face paling as the truth dawned in her mind. “No, Aurelia! You can’t!”
“You know I have no other choice.” She frowned.
Tears filmed her older sister’s eyes as she came to her side, desperately tugging the bag from her hand. “There is always another choice. I can’t bear to lose you.”
Seeing her reaction broke Aurelia’s heart. This was the most difficult thing she would ever have to do in her life. Would they ever see each other again? They had been close all of their lives, Rose always being her protector and guide whenever she got into trouble. How she wished her sister could be that this time around, as well. But unfortunately even she couldn’t help Aurelia now.
Trying to find courage deep down, she hugged her. She held back the tears as best she could to make it easier for Rose. With their embrace, Rose couldn’t see her struggle, surely showing in her eyes.
If only what Rose proclaimed about another choice were true. Aurelia wouldn’t be here now, saying farewell to her only sister before running away from Owen Manor. But the only other possible solution for her was to stay and marry the Earl of Kent. Marry an evil, ruthless man who had no heart—only a lump of coal in his chest.
She’d rather die than do that. She may burn in hell for it, but it would be far less damning than living in hell on earth as his wife in his castle. Never. She’d never do that.
Wiping her tears, Rose pulled away, half sighing, half hiccupping. “I could talk to Father. Maybe I can convince him to call off the arrangement.”
Aurelia dried a tear that escaped and trickled down Rose’s left cheek. “You tried that already, remember? So did I. It did nothing to change his mind. The arrangement is set in stone. I am to marry the earl.”
“But we never suggested that I take your place. After all, I am the eldest Owen daughter. Therefore, I should be the first to marry.” Rose rested her arm on her hip as she waited for Aurelia’s reaction.
Her sister would sacrifice her own happiness for Aurelia. It touched her so much, but she knew it would be in vain. Even if she were to convince their father, the earl would be another matter. He had made it perfectly clear that he wanted Aurelia, and
only her, as his wife. He obsessed over her, like she was a possession he must own. He would most certainly reject Rose’s offer.
“You know it wouldn’t work. No, this is the only way.”
“Oh, is it? And where will you run to? London? Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for a woman on the streets of London, in daylight or at night?” Her voice rose with her temper.
“Shh.” Aurelia motioned with her finger. “Someone will hear you.” She waited to make sure her sister’s voice didn’t draw attention before she continued. “I won’t be going to London. That would be the very first place they would search for me. I’m leaving the country.”
“Then where would you go?”
“Wellington.” She stared her straight in the eyes with the revelation.
“What? Are you mad?” Rose shouted at the top of her lungs.
Panic rushed over Aurelia as she covered her sister’s mouth. Damn, had she just sounded the alarm? Would servants or, worse yet, their father come barging in any second demanding to know what they were doing in the stables at this early hour, and what was all the fracas?
Her sister panted, and her heated breath tickled Aurelia’s hand. “Will you watch your voice, Rose?” She let go of her mouth.
“I’m sorry.” She lowered her gaze in apology. “Why Wellington? Bloody hell, that’s in New Zealand!”
This was the first time Aurelia ever heard her sister curse. Given the circumstances, she understood her reaction, though it hardly was becoming for a sweet, demure lady like herself to utter such words, even in anger.
“Mary has family there, and they offered to harbour me for a while, at least until the earl forgets about me and finds himself another prospective lady to marry.”
“Mary?” She frowned. “The stableman’s wife?”
Aurelia nodded. “Yes. She came to me with the proposal.”
“When? I didn’t even know she came from there, or that you two were on such close talking terms.”
“She made the offer a little less than a month ago. Yes, whenever I come to ride Jasper, we talk. She and her husband are usually in here feeding or grooming the horses. And, no, she wasn’t born there. Her brother and sister-in-law live there. They’ve fallen on hard times, and if I were willing to pay for room and board, the extra money would help them in their time of need.”
Rose crossed her arms, while she formed a perplexed expression. “And where will you get the money to pay for all this, let alone for the boat fare to travel all the way down there?”
Lowering her gaze, Aurelia expected to be reprimanded by her older sister. “I sold my jewels.”
“All of them? Even Mother’s broach?” Rose’s eyes widened.
Right before their mother died a few years ago, she had given each of them her most precious jewels. To Rose she gave her gold locket with the picture of Rose and Aurelia as young girls in it. To Aurelia, she gave the pearl broach the girls’ father gave her on their wedding night.
Ashamed, Aurelia lost her ability to speak and only nodded.
Rose sighed and walked over to the window, staring into the sky. Aurelia couldn’t ignore her sister’s disappointment.
She slowly walked closer. “James brought them to the city last week, and I got enough money for the boat fare as well as two months’ lodgings and food.”
Rose refused to look at her. “And what will you do when the money runs out?”
Aurelia opened her mouth to reply when there came a light knock at the stable door. Her heart jumped to her throat, fearing someone had heard them talking and came to see what they were doing. But once her wits returned, she quickly realized who it was. Opening it, James peeked in with a shy smile.
“We’ll need to be going soon if you want to make the merchant vessel on time, my lady.” When he saw Rose, he bowed again. “Good morning, Lady Rose.”
Aurelia pushed the door opened so he could come in. “Yes, I’ll only be a few minutes more.” Pointing to her bag, she said, “Please, take the bag and I’ll meet you at the carriage in five minutes.”
Obeying her instructions, he left, toting the heavy bag. When he exited, Rose stared at her with worried eyes. “A merchant vessel?”
“It’s the only way to get out of England without anyone knowing.”
“You’ll be a stowaway?”
“No, James made arrangements with the captain. I’ll be staying in the captain’s quarters during the trip, while he stays in the crews’ quarters with everyone else.”
She walked closer to her and smiled as tears welled in her eyes. This time she couldn’t hold them back. “I can’t wait any longer, Rose. I have to go. James has the carriage waiting in the clearing behind the manor. We must leave now.”
Her sister pulled her in to hug her tight. Aurelia lost her breath for a moment from the constraining embrace. “I’m going to miss you so much, Auri. And I’ll be worrying about you every day.”
Rose hadn’t called her that in ages. It was her nickname for her as a child. A flood of childhood memories washed over her then. Memories of her playing with her sister in the fields and in the manor, them following their mother while they took their daily walks in the gardens.
She’d miss her and the manor. Her heart weighed her down. It felt like an iron anchor sinking into the depths of a dark, cold ocean. Her time with her sweet and dear sister had come to an end. “I’m going to miss you so much as well, Rose.”
“Take this before you leave.” Letting her go, her sister put her hands behind her neck and removed the gold necklace her mother gave her. She handed it to Aurelia.
Overwhelmed, Aurelia shook her head as cool tears trickled down her cheeks. “No, I cannot. It’s the only thing you have left of Mother.”
Pulling her hand closer to her and opening her palm, she insisted. “Mother would want you to use this. Sell it when you are down there. It should bring you enough money to stay a little while longer at Mary’s brother’s. I’ll give James some more jewels to sell the next time he goes into the city. And Mary will send the money to you in the next month or so.”
Hesitantly, Aurelia took the chain and attached it around her neck. This way she wouldn’t risk losing it. She’d bring it with her as a safety cushion. If her money ran out and she had no other way of paying for her food and lodgings, then she’d sell it, but if not, she’d send it back to her sister in a little while.
Giving her one last hug and warm kiss on the cheek, she said her farewell and walked out the barn door. While she quickly headed around the manor to where James waited with the carriage and her bag, she was tempted to look over her shoulder and see if her sister were following her departure.
She surmised she did. But even though she yearned to look back, Aurelia couldn’t, for fear she’d run back to Rose. It was time she looked forward, looked to her future and tried to make the best of the circumstances, the prospects, no matter how dismal her situation grew.
Taking a deep, courageous breath, she walked faster to the carriage.
***
Chapter 2
Kent, England
Oscar caught himself humming as he washed up in the basin in the kitchen. He laughed, his good mood making him feel like a boy of twelve again. A letter had arrived from Edward Gibbons, confirming John had left for Kent and should arrive that afternoon. John would be joining Oscar on his journey beneath the ocean.
He’d sent Emily Fitzgerald, his young apprentice who helped him clean house in exchange for an engineering / inventor education, to the butcher to pick up a leg of lamb. Today’s dinner would be a special one—a time for celebrating and welcoming his old friend.
Oscar and Emily had taken the submarine down once for a test run, smuggling it, with the help of Emily’s father, a horse trader and hobby inventor, to Dover, where they launched the submarine into the channel by lantern and moonlight.
“Can you carry enough coal to power her on a longer trip?” Emily asked after the hatch sealed and Oscar stoked the massive boiler t
hat provided most of the power to the submarine.
“I’ve designed the ship so it’s very lightweight. Also, did you notice its shape before we boarded?”
She nodded. “Its nose is quite pointy.”
“It’s so the water’s current won’t meet much resistance from the ship. It’s designed to work with the waves, not against them. That will save me a great deal of fuel, too.”
It was a pity Emily couldn’t join him and John on their journey, but his young apprentice was teaching to earn money to help her attend university. She was determined to be the first woman allowed into Cambridge, and Oscar had no doubt her strong will would take her there. Charles had a daughter to be proud of—that was for certain.
He and Emily had only journeyed beneath the Atlantic for a few hours, but when he’d turned on the gas powered globe lights attached to the outer shell of the ship, a wondrous, alien world unfolded before them.
Schools of colourful fish swam by the circular windows, and, on a few occasions, a family of seahorses accompanied them. As he and Emily descended deeper, giant, iridescent jellyfish floated around the submarine, casting pinkish light across the windows as they undulated past.
Oscar smiled at this memory as he strolled out to the barn behind his brick two story. John would soon share in his and Emily’s underwater awe, and he couldn’t wait to take his dear friend beneath the waves.
He filled the iron horse, as he had come to call his latest steam powered contraption, with water, and then moved to the front to turn the crank. It soon sputtered and popped to life, and Oscar dashed into the front seat, behind the wheel. The contraption was the talk of Kent, and since Emily had taken Mabel, his only horse, to the butcher, he had the perfect excuse for showing off another of his inventions to John.
On the trip to the train station, Oscar thought back on his and John’s time spent at Cambridge. How it seemed like a lifetime ago. They had just been boys. Young men filled with promise and hope.
His nostalgic indulgence ultimately wandered to memories of their affair. No one ever discovered them that summer. To this day, they had kept the secret. It happened so unexpectedly, one afternoon when they were fishing at their favourite pond.
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