by L. H. Nicole
She nodded excitedly. “I have just the thing.” She held up one finger as she disappeared into the pantry. She emerged holding a very large red and green apple Aliana immediately recognized as an apple from Avalon.
Galahad had given her one after they had escaped the Sidhe’s keep. Her mood turned heavy as Estrelle put the fruit in her hand. Aliana could still recall that moment perfectly, including all the wild emotions she had felt after realizing she was crazy attracted to him. Her conversation with her mother about the magical bonds between her and Galahad, and between her and Arthur, came back to her.
Estrelle was watching her cautiously. “Is everything all right, Aliana?”
Aliana put on a smile. “How did these apples get here?”
“Sir Galahad brought them back when he returned from Avalon. He insisted that we store them so you would be able to have one when you returned.” The Pixie’s cheeks pinkened. “He said you were fond of them.”
Aliana bit her cheek; she did like them, a lot. Her throat was tight when she said, “Thanks,” and walked out of the kitchen, straight toward the back door.
She stepped out into the chilled early morning air, wrapped her sweater tighter around her and stared at the ought-to-be-forbidden fruit. Why had Galahad done this?
She decided to not read into the thought. She took a big bite, the familiar sweet and tangy flavor bursting in her mouth like a small party. She demolished the apple, its magic filling her very empty stomach. She thought over her romantic situation as she walked the path she’d memorized years ago. By the time she reached the sand, she was even more confused and tangled up inside. She tossed the core into the tall grass and slipped off the ballet flats she had put on before leaving the house. The sand shifted under her weight, its normal warmth dulled by the slight chill of the season.
The last time she stood here she had kissed Arthur for the first time, watched him and Galahad fight a grudge match and then been torn apart by the conflicting power of her unnaturally strong bonds to both of them.
A cold breeze drifted from the water, playing with her hair as she wrapped her arms around herself and stared at the setting moon and fading stars from her spot at the edge of the surf.
“Aliana?”
She saw Galahad making his way to her from the left side of the beach. Her eyes went to the dagger she had enchanted for him, which was strapped at his waist. She opened her mouth to ask him why he was outside but couldn’t find her voice through her tangle of emotions.
“How are you feeling? You slept for quite some time,” he asked when she remained silent.
“Fine. Much better, thanks.” She frowned. “How long was I asleep? And why are you up?”
“You’ve been asleep for two days. And I was unable to sleep and decided to go for a walk.”
His eyes darkened, telling her it was more than that.
The tension surrounding them held her, the heat and intensity spearing through her, straight to the mending part of her heart. She saw his regret, longing, determination, control and love.
“I…” Aliana choked on her words. There was so much unsaid between them. Even leaving aside the new feelings that had taken root in her heart for him, they still hadn’t talked about all that happened when he gave in to his impulses to protect her.
Seeing him in Camelot, how he had been, as a knight, with his sister, the others…it complicated her once-simple emotions of regret and a shattered heart. If she was ever going to figure out this bond they shared, she needed to talk to him about it. She just couldn’t make her treacherous vocal cords work.
Or control her racing heart at his nearness.
Galahad reached out and captured her hands in his. Silver sparks ignited, but they seemed muted compared to what she had been so used to. It was like when they first met, and it was more of an awareness than anything real and solid.
“I’ve been needing to speak to you of what happened,” he started. “Before you were taken.”
She waited for him to go on.
“No apology I could give you would make up for the enormity of the mistake I made, trapping you in your house like I did. I have no excuse for it, not even that evil Mordrid infected me with. I regret my actions more than anything I ever have in my long life.”
Aliana swallowed, opened her mouth to say something…but she still had no words to give him. She didn’t know what to say.
“I know I cannot expect your forgiveness, but I will never stop proving to you how much I have changed. Because of you. I will do whatever I must to earn back your trust and friendship.”
The bubbles burst in her stomach. “Galahad, you have never lost my friendship! Being back in Camelot, learning about your parents, Vira…” She cleared her throat, blinking away tears. “I will always be your friend, we will always be family. A part of me will always love you, but…”
Cautious hope swirled in his watchful eyes that studied her so intently.
“But, I do not know if I can ever trust you enough to open my heart to you again.” His face fell the merest fraction and it broke something in her. She reached up and touched his cheek lightly. “I don’t want to hurt you, Galahad. I care for you too much for that. But…I have feelings for Arthur too. I think I have for a while, I just didn’t realize it. Not until after…” She let her words hang. He knew what she meant.
He swallowed again, his jaw tight, but he nodded.
“I am so confused right now, about everything. You, Arthur, my feelings, Vira, this quest and how the heck I am supposed to help stop Mordrid…I hate the thought that I am hurting you—”
“Don’t.”
His word confused her.
“Don’t worry about hurting me. It is nothing less than I deserve for what I did. All I want for you is to be happy. Even if that means you and Arthur…” He cleared his throat. “If he is the one you truly love, then you should be with him. As long as you are happy, I will be content with that. You deserve to be happy in your life, Aliana.”
Tears burned and prickled her nose. His selflessness and sincerity made the healing part of her heart swell, the silver sparks of their bond becoming stronger.
He reached behind and pulled something from his back pocket. Holding out his palm, he revealed a small piece of jewelry, just smaller than his palm.
Aliana gasped, the tears she had been fighting returning full force. In his palm was a very small replica of the oval music box, with a heart shaped lid, which her father had given her mother for one of their anniversaries. She had told Galahad about it back in London, before the party where they found Merlin and Wade, after he saw a picture of it. She hadn’t been able to find the original after their death.
Aliana’s hand hovered around his, almost afraid to touch the small, beautiful locket. “Where did you…how…” She looked back up to him.
“When we were on our date, we passed a store that made custom jewelry.”
Aliana remembered. They had looked around briefly, but she didn’t remember Galahad talking to the store clerk.
The white knight turned over her hand, placing the delicate piece in her upturned palm.
“Before Percy and Lacy left us to continue their date, I told Percy I wanted to have a replica made for you.” His finger brushed away a tear she didn’t realize had fallen. “He and Lacy helped a lot. She told me the song it played and gave the artist a picture of it. I know how much it hurts you to not have their music box, because your parents loved it so much. I hoped that this locket would make that hurt a little less for you.”
Aliana was well and truly speechless. And her surprise didn’t stop there. He reached out and opened the heart lid. The soft, old world melody of her parents’ wedding song filled the world around them with its delicate beauty and notes.
“Galahad…” Aliana was beyond elated that he remembered such a tiny detail from so long ago. “I can’t believe you did this.” More tears fell as she took it from him. “Thank you.” She touched it gingerly, the warm metal a comf
orting weight alongside the playing melody she’d watched her parents dance to too many times to count.
Her fractured heart healed a little more. His smile was as loving as his fingers that brushed away her tears.
She brought the locket to her mouth and kissed it lightly before gripping it tight. “I can never thank you enough for this.”
He took her other hand, their sparks flying, and kissed it. “I do not need thanks, I just need you to be happy.”
Pulled by her blooming feelings she reached up and hugged Galahad tightly. “I think I forgave you when I realized Mordrid’s magic had poisoned you. I was just so hurt, so confused.”
He gripped her tighter for a second before pulling back enough to look at her. “I should have had more control. I’ve worked tirelessly, since that night, to be a better master of my deeds and emotions.”
She sighed heavily and laid her cheek against his chest, the rapid drumming of his heart like a soothing rhythm. She inhaled his wintery spice scent which she had grown to adore. “Like I said, you’ve never lost my friendship. Part of me loves you even still. But…” She raised her head, needing to look him in his eyes when she finally said it. “Trust is not something that comes easily to me. Especially after learning my parents had adopted me but never told me. After Josh and what he tried to do to me.”
Galahad’s arms tightened around her. She almost felt his anger for her ex-boyfriend.
“My horrible track record with guys…not to mention trusting Raven.” She shook her head again. “I could have stopped him from killing Sophvira.”
Galahad’s fingers touched her trembling lips. “I have never once believed that her death was your fault. Indeed, now that I have my memories back I remember it even more, and I know it was not your fault.” He let her see the truth of his words. “Mordrid, Morgana, and Viviane are to blame.”
She felt another familiar presence brush against her senses. Jerking from Galahad’s arms she looked to the path that led to her house. There was Arthur, his left hand gripping Excalibur’s hilt strapped around his waist. Did neither of them go anywhere unarmed?
Aliana shifted on her feet, looking out at the ocean, hoping this very emotionally awkward and confusing moment wasn’t happening. But she couldn’t run from this. Not now. She couldn’t run if she ever wanted to find out the truth of her heart.
“What are you doing up, Arthur?”
Arthur cleared his throat. “I saw you leave the house. You’ve been asleep for two days. I wanted to be sure you were all right.”
Her emotions started to rattle like a pinball. Her worry that the feelings between her and these two brave, noble men may not be real stabbed vengefully. Her mother had said that if these bonds were indeed manipulated ones, then she would have to discover that for herself, by listening to her true heart. Heck of a lot easier said than done. Especially when the pull she felt for both men was only growing stronger and she wasn’t really sure who she was anymore. She had been changed after her adoptive parents’ deaths, and was still changing every day of this crazy quest. She hardly recognized herself anymore.
She looked out at the vast ocean, her mind racing as she made a decision that would probably hurt all three of them. “Maybe it’s good we’re all here.”
The knights shared a confused look.
“I want to talk to both of you, and this seems like the only time we’ll get the privacy we need.”
Galahad shifted uncomfortably. “I think we know what this is about.”
“I don’t think you do.” Aliana took a big breath. “You know I care for both of you very much…that I love both of you, very much.”
“But?” Arthur asked quietly, watching her like a silent predator.
It was time to take her mother’s advice. “There’s so much…we’ve all been through so much…” She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. She couldn’t figure out how to say what her gut told her she needed to. They both waited for her to find the words.
“I don’t want to hurt either of you. So much has changed…” she watched both men trying to gauge their reaction to her decision “…since I have been in Camelot and even before that.”
The white knight’s face darkened, his mouth thinning, but he said nothing.
“Between my destiny, Mordrid, my weird magic, and my fear that my feelings are all part of some crazy chess game Titania is controlling…” She held up her hand when Arthur tried to speak. “Please let me say this. I don’t know if I’ll be able to again.”
The king inclined his dark head, his face impassive behind his king mask she saw through so easily. She was hurting him, hurting both of them, and that broke her heart.
“I am so confused, and hurt, and it kills me that I’m hurting you both with my feelings for the other, or that I may eventually cause a rift between you both.”
“Aliana…”
She shook her head, cutting Galahad off. “I know you both think that won’t happen, but I can’t take that chance. And honestly, I’m not sure I really understand what love is, at least not true love. There’s too much we don’t know, too much I don’t know about who I really am and what I’m really meant to do.”
“What does that mean?” Arthur asked, his arms folding across his tensed chest. Even Galahad was standing rigidly, like he was exerting an unrelenting amount of control over himself.
“I can’t be with either of you—” she took another breath “—until I figure out the answers to those questions. Figure out who I am.”
They stood there in silence for endless moments, the only sound the breaking of the waves against the surf and the whistle of the breeze.
Galahad was the first to speak. “I think I can safely say that all either of us wants is for you to be happy.” He and Arthur’s eyes locked, both nodding silently. “But I also believe neither of us is willing to give up on the hope of being with you.”
Arthur dropped his arms to his side. “You worry you will come between us, but you have to trust us when we say that won’t happen.”
Aliana’s fingers clenched her sweater even tighter. That was the crux of it all, trust. “I can’t promise either of you anything.” If what she feared was right, that what she felt wasn’t real, just a sick game…she shuddered.
Galahad took a step closer. “We should go back inside, you’re shaking.”
Not from the cold. She let them think he was right nonetheless. She needed time to think, to adjust.
She led the way, both her gallant knights like shadows at her back. The hair on the back of her neck stood up as the magic of an opening portal sizzled on her skin.
Aliana looked back at the beach, her senses tracing the power trail back to the beach. Her feet were moving to get there before she had the conscious thought to. This was a magic she hadn’t felt yet. It was breezy, thin like the wind.
“What’s that?” Arthur asked, both men trailing her, their weapons drawn.
Aliana searched, the first light of day illuminating the world. Until she saw the rippling of a gate, feet from the water, like hot air in the desert. “Someone’s opening a gate.”
The very air split open as Merlin stepped through the portal. Aliana let out a relieved breath.
“You’re back!” She looked past the Druid. “Where’s Lancelot?” She finally had a chance to do something good for the suffering knight. His Guinevere was finally going to be his again!
Merlin turned as Lancelot came through, his hand holding another smaller one as they both stepped onto the beach.
Galahad’s dagger dropped from his hands landing with a thud in the sand. His blazing blue eyes were fixed on the short, dark-haired teenager beside his brother knight. “Sophvira?”
The girl’s blue eyes lit up with her bright smile. “Big brother!”
39
Relief and happiness are not strong enough words for what I felt when Lancelot brought Sophvira back, and when she opened her eyes again and smiled at us. Morgana may have outwardly blamed Aliana for
Sophvira’s murder—but I know my souls mate even still—and I am sure on some level she blamed herself. She loved Sophvira dearly, we all did. Now that Sophvira’s back, maybe it can help return Morgana to our side. But that will come later, after we have the Grail. I will see Sophvira returned to Galahad and find out what she’s hiding from us. She was never a good liar.
~Merlin
SOPHVIRA RAN STRAIGHT for her shell-shocked brother, flung herself in his arms and hugged him fiercely, burying her face in his chest as a big sob escaped her.
Almost like he was afraid she would disappear, Galahad wrapped one arm around his dear little sister and stroked her dark hair with the other. “Is it really you, Sophvira? How is this possible?”
Aliana covered her mouth, muffling her own gasp as tears brimmed in her eyes. She looked to Merlin and Lancelot, silently asking for the answer to the question her clamped throat wouldn’t let pass her lips.
“It’s a very long story,” Lancelot said, a somberness in his eyes mixing with the relief and contentment he clearly felt at reuniting brother and sister.
Arthur stepped to her side as Galahad picked Vira up, swinging her around in big circles, both laughing loudly. A few tears escaped down Aliana’s cheeks. Vira was still wearing the same dress she had when the poison had taken her from them.
She had thought the sweet teen was lost to them forever. She should have been. Mordrid and Viviane’s poison had killed her! Her guilt over the tragedy surfaced, but was muddled with her happiness of seeing the girl was alive and well. But how?
Worry invaded her; what if this was a trick? She opened her magical senses, felt the air around Sophvira and recognized the kind, loving spirit she had always felt from the girl. But there was an underlying current, barely there. Magic! Her emerald eyes widened, shooting to Merlin.
He nodded, silently reading her worry. “We will explain all, once we’ve gathered the others.”