by Claire Thake
“Okay Leah, just remember I am always here for you at any time, whenever you need me just call, day or night. And please don’t bottle things up or hide things, it's not healthy and just makes you feel ten times worse.”
Leah smiled at her friend and drank her coffee. She didn’t understand why but she just felt that something had changed and hoped and prayed Ryan had seen the error of his ways and that life was about the change for the better.
That evening, Leah and Carrie sat on the wall in the courtyard, looking out through the fields and watching the stars.
“This is one thing I would never change,” Said Carrie, “You can’t see the beauty of the stars in London, and it really is magical. I could sit here and stare for hours.”
“It is beautiful, but to be honest, I’m normally in bed by the time the stars are out,” Leah giggled.
“You light weight!” Teased Carrie and gave Leah a gentle shove. “To be honest with you, though, I don’t come out here often, unless the dogs need walking but Daniel tends to them before bed most nights.”
“I’ve hardly seen the dogs this visit, normally they are always around my feet,” Said Leah, as it just occurred to her that it was strange.
“They spend a lot of time out in the fields now, they go out early with Daniel and don’t tend to come back till later on, so you won’t see them much. Some days I almost forget we have them,”
Carrie leant sideways and put her head on Leah’s shoulder, and let out a big sigh.
“I do love it here, and I love my life with Daniel and Tyler, but I must admit I do miss London sometimes, most of all I miss you and our little lunch meetings in the coffee shop, and putting the world to right. We don’t do enough of that now.”
“Isn’t it strange how people change with age, and how we drift without really noticing it. Kids change you and make you so busy, that I really don’t think you notice until you have drifted too far,”
“You're right there Lee, but at least, we know that no matter how long we don’t talk for if we are busy that no matter what we will always be here for each other if we need to be,”
Leah smiled, and closed her eyes, taking in her friend's words. She would miss Carrie like crazy and had loved the time they had spent together this week, but the knowledge that she had such a good and close friend warmed her heart and made her feel positive about everything.
Chapter 12
The drive home was a long and lonely one for Leah with just the radio for company, but she travelled with a smile on her face at the thought of seeing Ryan and carrying on from where they had left off. Butterflies fluttered in her tummy and she felt like she was a newlywed again.
Once she hit the motorway on the final stretch before she made it home, she pulled into the services for a toilet break and to grab a drink. Pulling her purse out of her bag to pay, she saw the light on her phone light up inside her bag. Once she had paid the girl on the checkout, she stood to one side, and checked her phone, expecting a message from Ryan, to see where she was.
Greg: Hello sweetheart, I cannot wait to see you, are you free tomorrow? Gx
Leah sighed and scrunched her eyes together. She hadn’t forgotten about Greg, but had pushed him to the back of her mind and although she didn’t want to hurt him, she knew she would have to let him down somehow.
Without replying, she dropped her phone back into her bag, and walked back to the car, biting her nails. Maybe if she just ignored his messages, he would get the hint and leave her alone? Was she mean enough to just ignore him? Or should she change her number, and make an excuse to Ryan about it.
All sorts of ideas on how to reject Greg, without having to face him, swam through her head. She didn’t want to come face to face with him again after everything. She knew how bad she would feel seeing him and thinking about what she had done behind Ryan’s back, and how deeply she now regretted it.
Once back at home, Leah was greeted at the door by Emma, who promptly disappeared to get her homework finished before school the next day. Ben was on the playstation in his room, and Ryan was in his office.
Leah couldn’t help but feel disappointed that Ryan hadn’t come out to meet her, but then understood that he had missed a few days of work and reassured herself that all was fine and that he was just trying to catch up.
Leah unpacked her case, and put all her laundry in the washing machine, before climbing the stairs and gently knocking on the office door.
“Come in,” Ryan answered and Leah gently turned the handle and looked in. Ryan lifted his head from the pile of papers on the desk for a brief second and then returned them.
“Oh Leah, you’re back. I wasn’t expecting you till a bit later.”
“Yeah I came back early, I didn’t want to be rushing about this evening, not when I have to be up early for the kids to be back to school,”
“Yes, I can imagine it will be a shock to the system, having to get up at a normal time again, or well a normal time for you, as most of the population get up earlier,”
Leah, stood up straight and felt a little hurt at Ryan’s words, but brushed them aside, as surely he was only joking, although he had always moaned about the time she slept.
“I was about to do some dinner, is there anything you want?” Leah asked, trying to make conversation.
“Don’t worry about me, I’m swamped with work after those days off. I will grab something later if I get a spare minute,” Just before Ryan finished speaking, the shrill of his mobile phone cut through the air and made Leah jump.
“Mel, hi I’m working on it now, yes I know I will be in your office first thing,” Ryan’s tone completely changed on the phone, and his demeanour became softer and a smile appeared on his thin lips. Leah closed the door, feeling as if she had been dismissed, and walked back down to the kitchen, to begin preparing dinner.
Leah stood by the sink, chopping vegetables for dinner, holding in her emotions. Surely Ryan hadn’t lost the attraction to her so soon from leaving Carries? Leah pushed the thought to the back of her mind, Ryan needed to work and once he was caught up things would be better she was sure of it.
Dinner was a solemn affair with just Leah and the kids, and Leah had to force down her food, as she had no appetite, yet put on a brave face for the kids, when all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry. Luckily the kids didn’t seem to notice Leah’s sour mood and ate and joked about as they normally would.
The evening continued much the same, the kids going to bed, Ryan staying permanently in his office, and Leah spending the evening curled in the arm chair with her book; trying to pretend that she wasn’t disappointed with Ryan’s lack of attention.
*****
The next morning, Leah woke up to the shrill of her alarm clock, and as she did every morning, she stretched out her whole body and pushed her arm across the bed, which was once again empty.
Leah sighed and pulled herself into a sitting position, rubbing her hands over her face and rubbing her eyes. She quickly got washed and dressed and applied a thin amount of makeup to make herself look more human, before going to wake the kids up.
Downstairs, Leah found the house deserted, a note left lying on the kitchen table.
Morning!
Busy day so left early for the office. Off to the pub after work with the lads as well so don’t wait up.
Ryan x
Leah quickly ripped up the note in anger and went and dropped it into the bin. So much for carrying on where they left off! She looked at the ring and the feel of it on her finger disgusted her. She quickly took it off and slammed it onto the drainer.
Was she such an idiot to believe Ryan had changed? Was last week all an act to try and get her on side? Maybe he knew how she had been feeling and thought it was a good idea to butter Leah up, give her extravagant gifts in the hope that she would let him carry on the way he was.
It wasn’t long before the kids came into the kitchen for breakfast, and Leah put on the usual bright face for them, as she poured
cereal and milk into bowls.
“Mum, where’s the ring dad got you? Not lost it already, have you?” Asked Emma, noticing that her mum wasn’t wearing the shiny diamond eternity ring.
“Oh no Emma, don’t be silly, it must have been so expensive that I’m worried about damaging or losing it, so I took it off just for the time being.” Leah answered quickly, thinking on the spot on what to say that wouldn’t alert the kids to problems between their parents.
Leah drove the kids to school, picking up Oscar on the way, giving Cara a quick wave from the car, once again trying to avoid having to speak to her. On the drive home, she heard her phone ding in her bag, and once she was stopped at a traffic light, against her better judgement she fished in her bag and retrieved the phone.
Greg: Leah, is everything ok? I thought you would be home by now? Please text me as soon as you can, I’m worried. Gx
Leah knew she had to speak to Greg, she knew yesterday what she wanted to say to him, she was going to call everything off and concentrate on her marriage, but the cold reception she had received from Ryan had confused her and know she didn’t know what to do for the best.
Leah waited until she was back indoors, to re-open Greg's message, and send a reply; a reply that she deleted and re wrote a least a dozen times until she forced herself to press the send button.
Leah1982: Sorry, I didn’t get back till late and I was exhausted. Please don’t worry x
She placed the phone on the arm of the chair and sank down, she knew it wouldn’t take long to get a reply and she picked at her nails nervously, until her phone dinged to signal a message.
Greg: Can I see you?
Such a small amount of words, yet such a big question. Did Leah want to see Greg? She felt confused and didn’t know what to do for the best. The best for her, the best for her marriage and most importantly the best for the kids.
Leah: Meet me in the park at 12 x
Leah took in a deep breath and knew it was best to meet in a public place. She didn’t feel comfortable meeting at Henry’s after the reception she had from him last time, and if she did as she planned and ended things, then if they were in public then hopefully there wouldn’t be a scene.
Getting up from the chair, Leah wandered into the kitchen and saw her ring, sitting where she left it on the drainer, looking all sparkly. She crossed the room, and slowly picked it back up and slid it on her finger; she owed it to herself to make things work. As Carrie had said, Ryan knew her like no one else did.
Leah arrived at the park fifteen minutes early and sat down on the bench where she met Greg the night things had changed between them, after Ryan’s work party had gone so terribly wrong.
She removed her ring and placed it in her purse, not wanting to throw it in Greg’s face, she didn’t want to hurt him any more than she needed to.
It wasn’t long before she saw a familiar figure walking across the field toward her, and she took in a long shaky breath.
“Hey,” Said Greg as he sat down beside her. She could feel the heat from his leg through her thin leggings and she shivered.
“Hi Greg,” Leah whispered quietly,
“Everything okay? We could have met up at the house; Henry is back at work now. In fact, I hardly see him at the moment. His boss is due a promotion and he’s hoping to step up into his place.”
“That sounds great for him,”
“Yeah it should be. Means a pay rise, but a lot more responsibility.” Greg moved his hand and brushed the side of Leah’s knee. “I’ve really missed you, Leah.”
“Greg, we need to talk,” Said Leah through shaky lips, just as her mobile began ringing in her bag. She quickly grabbed it and looked to see Ryan’s face flashing on the screen. “Sorry one minute,” she said to Greg and stood up and walked across the park a few meters away from Greg before she answered.
“Hello,”
“Leah, I need a favour please, I never managed to find the passports and I need them later on. Can you dig them out for me and I will grab them quickly before I meet the lads at the pub?”
“Sure no problem, what do you need them for?”
“Oh nothing much, I might have a business trip coming up and I also wanted to check they were all still valid.”
Before Leah could say another word, she heard a sound of a woman giggling in the background, not just any woman but Melissa, and Leah’s blood ran cold.
“I gotta go Leah, but if you can do that for me it would be great,” without even saying goodbye, Ryan hung up and the line went dead. Leah felt as if her world was crumbling down around her. Ryan had never needed to go away anywhere on business, let alone anywhere that a passport would be needed; and then there was the added complication of Melissa. She despised the woman so much and was now convinced more than ever that Ryan had visited her in Devon and bought her the ring to keep her sweet so she wouldn’t be suspicious of him going away…with Melissa.
Leah wanted to scream and cry, or that’s what she felt she should be doing, but anger took over and in that moment she hated Ryan with everything she had. How dare he take her for a ride and treat her as if she was so stupid.
Leah turned and walked back to Greg and took his hands and pulled him to his feet.
“Stuff talking let's go back to yours,”
Leah took Greg by surprised and pulled his head down and kissed him, and not only a small kiss but a lust filled kiss and Leah knew exactly what she wanted at the moment in time.
*****
Two hours later, Leah pulled herself from Greg’s arms and stood up from his bed, quickly getting dressed. He sat up and looked at her from under his eyelashes.
“I wish you didn’t have to leave,” He murmured, and he reminded Leah of a little-lost kitten.
“It won’t be long Greg and I will do something to solve this mess, but right now I need to get home, not for Ryan but for the Kids. If I’m not there and I don’t have the passports like he asked me for, then he will start asking questions and I can’t drag the kids through all of that. At least not right now.”
Leaning over, she kissed Greg slowly, and he ran his fingers through her hair, before pulling her head closer and deepening the kiss.
“Can I see you tomorrow?”
“I can’t wait,” whispered Leah, pulling on her boots and making her way outside the house.
Walking back home, Leah couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. The guilt still remained but it was masked by the happiness she felt. She had stepped over the line by sleeping with Greg, but she refused to be walked all over again, she wanted to take back control of her life and of her happiness.
Once home, she dug out the passports and left them on the hall table, before she quickly ran upstairs and had a quick shower and changed her clothes, throwing them into the washing machine. Erasing any evidence of Greg from her physically.
The kids arrived home, not much later with Cara in tow.
“Mum, can Oscar stay for tea?” Asked Ben pleading whilst Emma rolled her eyes.
“Erm sure, if it’s okay with his mum,”
“I don’t want to put you out Leah, I told the boys not to put you on the spot,” Said Cara, shaking her head at the boys.
“Oh its fine, I don’t mind at all, as long as they don’t make a habit of doing it every day.”
“Mum if we did it every day it wouldn’t be on the spot as you would be expecting it,” Said Ben, huddled with Oscar laughing.
“Smart ass.” Muttered Emma,
“Erm less of that please madam,” Said Leah, scolding her daughter. “Fancy a chat and a cuppa?” she asked Cara, who nodded and smiled back at her, looking exhausted.
Leah ushered them all indoors and the kids ran off to play on the playstation, and Cara and Leah sat at the kitchen table.
“Coffee?” Asked Leah,
“That sounds just wonderful,” Answered Cara.
“Everything okay Cara? You look shattered!”
“I am Hun, I am, but you know what it’s like, yo
u have to keep going don’t you. I’m just not sleeping that well thats all,”
“Any reason? Maybe get any early night if you can?”
“Nothing I’m aware off, I just can’t sleep once I get to bed! I can be on the sofa dozing off, but as soon as my head hits the pillow I’m wide awake.”
Leah placed a cup of hot coffee in front of Cara and sat opposite her, and Cara took a gentle sip of the hot liquid.
“Oh, that’s hit the spot, thanks, Leah. So how was Devon?”
“Amazing. It was so nice to go away, and so nice to spend some time with Carrie,”
“I can imagine, and a little birdie told me something about a new piece of expensive jewellery?”
“Oh my ring, yes it’s beautiful.”
Cara’s eyes scanned over Leah’s hands in confusion, looking for the new ring.
“Did it not fit?” Said Cara, in a confused voice.
“Oh yes, one second, I took it off when I went shopping, as I was afraid I would lose it.”
Leah jumped off her chair, and walked to the hall, retrieving her ring from her purse, and took a deep breath before sliding it back on her finger, and putting a smile on her face to disguise her disgust at wearing it from Cara.
Leah slid back into her chair and showed her ring to Cara, who ‘umm’d and ahh’d’ at the beauty of it.
“That is one impressive rock, Leah!” Cara said, her eyebrows raised.
“Yes, it is isn’t it, it’s beautiful.”
Leah jumped as the door banged, and Ryan suddenly appeared at the kitchen door, out of breath.