by Claire Thake
“I know Ryan, and I don’t expect them too, I just know that I need you too much to lose you,”
Ryan turned and wrapped his arms around Leah and pulled her close, taking in the scent of her hair, and closed his eyes.
“I don’t want to lose you either Leah, but mark my words if this ever happens again there will be no more chances, no matter what the circumstances,”
Waiting in arrivals, Carrie scanned the area for a sight of Leah and Ryan, wondering what she would be seeing and hoping that things had improved for them both. Leah had called her before they left and had said to Carrie that she didn’t need to meet her and she hoped that was good news, but that could also be Leah trying not to be a burden, so she had driven up anyway.
It wasn’t long before she spotted them both, strolling out wheeling their suitcases behind them, and holding hands. A huge grin spread across Carrie’s face at the sight.
When Leah spotted Carrie, she dropped Ryan’s hand and ran over to her, enveloping her in a tight hug.
“Caz, I told you not to come, it's such a long way!”
“I couldn’t not come Lee, I had to see things were okay, and I like what I saw,” Carrie replied winking at Leah, who blushed and started staring at the floor, pushing hair behind her ears.
“Things aren’t perfect, but we are working on them,” she replied, turning and smiling at Ryan as he approached them.
“Hey Carrie,” Ryan said, shifting the case handle from one hand to the other.
“If you want Leah, you can drive back with Carrie, and I will meet you there,”
“Are you sure? I didn’t even think to ask, but how are you getting home?” Leah asked, turning all her attention to Ryan.
“I paid for parking in the long stay car park, so have the car here. Your dad did offer to drive when I dropped the kids off but obviously, that would have meant telling him why you weren’t with me, so easier to drive myself.”
Leah nodded, taking a step towards Ryan and putting her arms around his neck.
“I will see you when you get home then,” Ryan muttered, leaning down to kiss her gently on the mouth. Leah’s stomach began to turn in somersaults, and she couldn’t ever remember feeling this much in love with her husband.
Carrie smiled, and stared at the ground not wanting to interrupt them, but inside she was dancing from seeing her best friend happy once again.
It didn’t take long to get to Carries truck, and Leah jumped into the front seat and sank into the leather seats, pulling her jacket around herself. Ryan was right and the weather was so much different to where they had been and the cold gave her goose bumps along her arms.
Carrie jumped into the driver’s seat, and seeing Leah’s discomfort from the cold, turned up the heating to full.
“Thanks,” Leah said, smiling at Carrie,
“You have lots to fill me in on I’m guessing, and we only have a half hour drive, so get talking!” Carrie said, pulling out of the parking spot to join the queue of traffic to leave the airport.
*****
The drive back from the airport ended up being a long one after an accident had caused major tailbacks on all the roads which led home. Carrie sighed and dropped down the gears again in frustration as the truck came to a standstill once again.
“Well I’m so glad that you managed to sort things out Lee, you both are perfect for each other, you always have been, and even though this wasn’t the ideal situation, maybe it has in a way taught you both a lesson. He needs to pay more attention to his family and you especially, and you need to stop taking everything to heart and you need to talk to Ryan if you have a problem, instead of bottling it up,”
“I think you could be right there although I wish we had both worked this out in another way. To be honest Carrie, I am scared stiff of going home! Not to my house home but back to where everything happened. He..Greg has moved back and I can try and avoid him but what if he doesn’t let things go? What if things go sour with Ryan working with Henry? The whole thing scares me so much, I can’t lose Ryan again.”
“And you won't lose him, Leah! He loves you more than you know babe, and as for Greg well if anything happens you put him in his place and then you tell Ryan what has happened, do not keep secrets as they always come out in the end and that’s the only thing that’s going to break you both - secrets and lies,”
Leah rubbed her hands together and began to pick at the corner of her nails.
“It will take a while to get things back to how they were I know that. Ryan wants us to go to counselling,”
“Sounds a good idea, it might help you both move on and get everything out in the open, even though it will probably be hard on you both,”
“It scares me, but I will do anything he wants me to as long as I don’t lose him,”
“You will both be okay, I just know it. In fact, I was so certain that while you were away, I decided to call the decorators into the flat and have it made over to move in a new tenant, and the agency is doing viewings,”
Carrie turned and smiled at Leah before reaching over and holding her hand and giving it a supportive squeeze.
Once home Leah unpacked the cases and made a start on the laundry while Ryan checked all his work messages that had been left since they had been away.
Cradling a warm cup of coffee, she leant against the kitchen counter and closed her eyes and took in the feel of her home. She hadn’t been gone long but she had missed it. It wouldn’t be long till the kids were home too and she couldn’t wait to see them.
Ryan joined Leah in the kitchen and stood in front of her, placing a hand on the counter either side of her, she turned and put her cup down on the counter before turning back and meeting Ryans gaze. Without saying a word Ryan leaned in and kissed Leah gently on the lips to start before pulling her into his arms and deepening the kiss.
Breaking apart breathless, he ran his hands through her long brown hair and pulled it out of her face.
“Where’s your phone?”
“In my handbag,” Leah replied confused, Ryan pushed away from the side and retrieved Leah’s bag from the hallway and passed it to her to get her phone. When she passed the handset to him, he pulled a metal pin from his top pocket and popped out the sim card, placing it in Leah’s palm, before getting a new sim from his trouser pocket, and placing it into her phone.
Without a word Leah turned and took the sharp scissors from the kitchen drawer and cut the sim into tiny pieces, sweeping them off the side and tipping them into the bin.
“When are the kids due home?” Asked Ryan, grabbing her hand pulling her close.
“Mum said they would drop them back at six,”
Ryan smiled and put his hand on the back of Leah's neck pulling her close.
“Guess we have a bit of time then. Mrs Malone lets go and restart this marriage shall we,”
Leah smiled and let him take her by the hand and lead her upstairs.
Chapter 19
Back at work, Ryan felt as if he was drowning under paperwork, from the backlog when he had been away. He expected it but it was worth it to spend the time away with Leah, although it hadn’t gone as he had originally planned. He also vowed that work would never get in the way of their relationship again.
“Mr Malone you wanted to see me?” Henry called from the door, knocking at the same time, obviously nervous to encounter his new boss.
“Henry, call me Ryan please, come in.”
Henry nervously crossed the room and took a seat opposite Ryan, waiting for his boss to speak.
“Henry please don’t be nervous, we’ve worked together before, maybe not in this manner but even though our roles have changed we are still the same people. I know the reason for the nerves though has nothing to do with the job but more to do with your sibling, am I right?”
Henry stared at the floor, anger surging in his chest, at the position that Greg had put him in.
“Ryan, let me be honest with you, this is an awful situation and one I real
ly didn’t know how to handle,”
“You and me both Henry, but please know I do not hold you responsible for any of it. You’re a good man Henry and it would be wrong of me to hold you accountable for any of it. Please know though that I am back with my wife and we are working through it all. I trust there will be no opposition from your brother on that matter as I know my wife has made the situation clear to him,”
“None at all, he knows how things are and I've made my position totally clear to him as well,”
“Then there will be no problems here Henry, please trust me on that. You are a good man and I am happy to have you on my side. Now please will you help me go through all these accounts before I go grey,”
Henry nodded and chuckled before standing and joining Ryan to look over the piles of papers on his desk.
Leah wandered the shops looking for the perfect present for Ryan for his birthday but just couldn’t find anything suitable. Her feet ached from walking around town in her boots, and she decided to take a break and grab a coffee.
Grabbing a small corner table at Hemmings, she stirred a sugar into her steaming cup and flicked through a newspaper that someone had left behind.
“Leah?”
Without lifting her head, she knew exactly who the voice belonged to and her pulse began to speed up in panic. She knew she couldn’t avoid Greg forever but she didn’t want to see him this soon.
“Greg please let’s not do this, I’ve made my thoughts clear on everything...”
“Leah please I’m not here to cause a scene,” Greg said, cutting her off. Sighing, he reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope, dropping it on the table in front of her.
“I know you don’t want to see me and I knew you wouldn’t talk to me if I tried but you are a reasonable woman Leah and I know that if you weren’t scared of what Ryan would think that you would, at least, give me the time of day to speak. Instead, it's all in there. It's up to you what you do with it.”
Without saying another word, he turned and walked out of the shop leaving behind a very stunned and silenced Leah.
Sitting in Hemmings for over an hour, Leah nursed what was now a cold cup of coffee and just continued to stare at the envelope, not knowing what to do with it. Glancing at her watch she knew she needed to get a move on to be home in time for Cara dropping the kids back, and she still hadn’t found the perfect present for Ryan.
Quickly she slid her hand across the table and grabbed the envelope, tucking it into the side pocket of her handbag, before standing and walking out feeling as if she had a grenade in her bag.
Leah walked around town the rest of the afternoon, still unsuccessful at finding Ryan the perfect gift. Instead, she decided to walk home through the park, to take time with her own thoughts.
Sitting down on the same old bench she had become too familiar with over the last few months, she took the envelope out of her bag and stared at it, wondering whether to open it or rip it to shreds, but she knew if she tore it up that she would always wonder what it had said out of curiosity rather than caring about its contents as whatever it said would not make a damn difference to her feelings or her life.
Slipping her finger under the seal, she gently opened it and removed the letter it contained. Her hands began to shake as she took in a deep breath and unfolded it.
Dear Leah,
I have no idea whether you will read this or just throw it away but I needed to do this for my own sanity.
Please know that I totally will not be pursuing you or trying to make your life difficult in any way as I understand I have already done enough of that.
I just needed to tell you that I love you, I always have and probably always will but I am not the man for you and I see that now. You have found your soul mate and I pray that one day I to may find mine.
This is a hard situation and so not to make things harder for us both I have decided to move away again, back to the reality of my divorce instead or hiding from it which I should never have done in the first place.
Take care Leah and I hope you and Ryan have a happy future together, and I’m sorry for ever corrupting that.
Love G x
Wiping a tear away from her cheek, Leah put the letter back in the envelope and back into her bag. She wasn’t crying for the loss of Greg but more for the relief that it was over.
Later that evening once the kids were in bed, Leah sat on the sofa next to Ryan clutching the envelope in her hand.
“Everything okay Leah? You seem a bit distracted today,”
“I went shopping today and Greg found me in the coffee shop,”
Ryan’s gaze turned hard, and his cheeks flushed with anger as he waited for her to continue.
“He gave me this letter, now I wasn’t sure whether to read it or bin it, but then I remembered how we agreed not to have any more secrets so I wanted to show you,”
Leah handed the envelope to Ryan, and then stood up and grabbed the bin from the corner of the room and the candle lighter from the shelf.
Once Ryan had finished reading the letter he looked up at Leah, who took the letter from his fingers and holding it up she set fire to the bottom corner and dropped it into the bin.
“It's over Ryan, it's all over.”
Ryan sat up and pulled Leah towards him,
“I can’t lie and say that didn’t worry me just then, but I believe you and I know that this is a new start for us Leah and although that was hard to read, it's also a kind of closure to everything.”
Leah nodded and leaned on Ryan's shoulder.
“I love you,” Ryan muttered and kissed her on the head,
“I love you too,” Said Leah and leant in for a kiss.
A week later Leah hurried about the house making things as perfect as she could for Ryan, the kids had gone to Cara’s for a sleepover and she was looking forward to spending the night with her husband on his birthday.
She had spent the day preparing a home cooked dinner, making him a birthday cake as well as making sure she was looking stunning; in her old black dress she knew he loved her in, but hated her wearing out, as it showed too much leg and cleavage and he didn’t like the looks she got from other men.
He was due home at six, so ten minutes before she ran around lighting candles and turning off the main lights, making everything perfect.
Dead on six, Leah heard the key in the door, and waited for it to open, feeling so nervous she felt sick.
Ryan came to a halt when he took in the scene before him; his beautiful wife and the beautiful table she had laid out with candles and balloons tied to the chairs.
“Happy birthday,” Leah said, walking towards him, before leaning up and kissing him.
“Wow Leah, this is amazing,” he said, completely blown away at the amount of effort Leah had made. He had expected them all to do what they always did and to go out for a meal as a family.
“Come and sit down,” Said Leah, taking his hand and pulling him into the kitchen. He sat at the table and undid his tie, before pulling it off and hanging it on the back of the chair.
Leah served up a beautiful meal of slow cooked lamb, vegetables and minted potatoes, with glasses of prosecco and followed by a red velvet chocolate cake.
Ryan took a sip from his glass and leant back in the chair.
“Wow, Leah that was absolutely amazing, although I'm now totally stuffed.” Leah smiled and ran her finger around the rim of her glass.
“That’s not everything, I haven’t given you your present yet,” She said, jumping up from her chair and running out of the room, returning a few minutes later with a small gift bag, and placing it in front of Ryan.
“This is only a small part of your present. I wasn’t sure what to get you and this just seemed a perfect idea.”
Ryan opened the gift bag and pulled out a small red envelope, and a small box wrapped in matching red paper.
“Open the gift first,” Said Leah, almost bouncing in her seat. Ryan loved seeing the excitemen
t in her face and started gently undoing the wrapping. Revealing a small black box. Flipping the lid of the box open, Ryan’s mouth dropped open in amazement. The box contained a solid silver guitar pic, engraved with the words;
Ryan
Forever and Always
Leah
Xxx
Ryan removed the pic from the box and turned it over and over in his fingers. He had not played the guitar in years and didn’t even own one anymore.
“Now open the envelope,” Leah said, bringing him out of the trance he had gotten into.
Placing the pic back in the box, he then grabbed the envelope and slid his finger along the seal, pulling out a gift voucher for £300 for the music store in town.
“You used to love playing, and you haven’t had a guitar since we moved into this house, so I thought it might help you to relax after work and things,”
“Leah this is incredible, I mean wow, seriously I don’t know what to say, thank you!”
Ryan stood up and walked around the table, pulling Leah into his arms,
“You are amazing Leah, so amazing, but we need to talk,”
Leah’s face dropped with concern, and worry crept over her.
“Talk? What's wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong,” Ryan said chuckling, “I’ve just been thinking lately and well I want to do something big to solidify our marriage again, I want us to look to the future and do something big. Firstly I, erm I want us to renew our vows on our anniversary, go all out and throw a huge party!”
“Ryan, if you are asking me to marry you again, you need to get down on one knee,” Leah said teasing him, and feeling more at ease over the conversation.
“Secondly Leah, I was thinking we should try for another baby,”
Leah was so shocked she almost fell off her chair; it was the last thing she ever expected Ryan to say, as he had always said he only wanted the two children, especially as they had one of each.