OUTCAST

by Cheryl Brooks

  He looked wild. His hair was a mass of wet, spiral curls, and his face and torso were streaked with soot and rain. Bonnie had seldom seen him up close without his shirt, but even wet and dirty, he looked seductive. She caught a glimpse of passion simmering in his eyes.

  Bonnie didn’t fully understand what had happened to suddenly change the way Lynx acted toward her. That kiss had been completely unexpected. She tried to think back, to come up with a reason or a time when she thought he might have changed toward her, but couldn’t put her finger on it. Perhaps he hadn’t changed; perhaps something was wrong with him.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked, peering up at him tentatively. “I mean, you didn’t get kicked in the head by an enock or struck by lightning—did you?”

  “I am uninjured,” he replied. This was a bit of an understatement, since not only did he appear to be uninjured, but looked like every woman's wildest erotic fantasy.

  “Then would you mind explaining this sudden change of attitude? This morning I wound up getting hurt when I kissed you, which, given your previous attitude toward me, I could have expected—”

  “I did not intend—”

  “To hit me? I know you didn’t, but tonight was so completely different. I’m not sorry it turned out this way, but I am a little confused.”

  Lynx looked uncomfortable and tried to say something to explain but seemed to have trouble finding the words.

  “Can’t explain it, huh?”

  Shaking his head, he said softly, “No, I cannot. I only know that I feel… differently… toward you than I have for any other woman.” To tell her he loved her now would have been too sudden, too pat an answer. He would wait.

  “Yeah, well, I can’t explain why I feel the way I do either,” Bonnie said candidly. “It isn’t as though you’ve ever been friendly or anything.”

  “It is… difficult,” he said. “I thought you would be like the others, but you—” Lynx broke off there, throwing up his hands in a gesture of utter futility. “—are not.”

  “Well, it's nice to know I’m not anything like your typical harem girl,” Bonnie said agreeably, but noticed that the fire had gone out of his eyes. It wasn’t his usual stoic expression, but still… The words were difficult to utter, but she knew she had to say them. “Lynx, would you rather go back out to the shed for the night? I may have been a bit… premature in bringing you in here.”

  His expression grew wary, and his voice sounded hollow when he replied. “I will do as you wish.”

  “What I wish is immaterial right now,” Bonnie said evenly, hoping she was saying the right thing—for once. “The question is, what do you wish?”

  His gaze dropped to the floor. “I wish to stay and give you joy,” he said. Looking up, he added, “But I know that I cannot.”

  “Yes, you can,” she whispered. “In fact, you may have done it already.”

  He seemed puzzled by this. “But I have not mated with you,” he protested, “and I—”

  “Lynx,” she said earnestly, cutting off his protests, “I’d trade all the enocks on this whole damn planet just for the chance to see you smile—and to hear you laugh would bring me the greatest joy I can possibly imagine.”

  Lynx stood there gaping at her in disbelief. This was not at all what he’d expected her to say. “But my laughter is worth nothing,” he said.

  “Not to me.”

  He shook his head, seeming to find it difficult to believe that such a plain and simple thing would matter to her—or to anyone; he was used to being asked for a great deal more than a smile.

  “Lynx,” she said gently, trying to explain, “what I’m trying to say is that I want you to be happy. Nothing more, nothing less. You’ve said before that you only want peace and solitude, but, tell me truthfully: is that really all you want? Isn’t there something else you dream about and wish for?”

  It took him a long time to form his reply. Lynx knew what he wanted, but he also knew that it was no longer possible. “What I want most of all, I cannot have,” he said at last. “It is useless to wish for it.”

  He went no further with his answer, which left Bonnie to assume that whatever he wanted was something she couldn’t give him. His face gave nothing away, and Bonnie wanted to kick herself because, while this conversation hadn’t been without merit, it had certainly killed the mood. I should have kept my mouth shut, she thought. Just stripped him down, pushed him in the shower, and asked questions later.

  “And I suppose peace and solitude come right after that—whatever it is.” Sighing regretfully, she said, “Well, go on, then. Take a nice, hot shower, and I’ll try to find you something dry to wear.” Actually, she had already made more clothes for him, but so far hadn’t felt masochistic enough to give them to him. Lynx made no gesture of protest, nor did he say a word as she left the room.

  It took Lynx a few moments to realize she’d given up again. She was so beautiful, so kind, and he wanted to give her everything, including his love, but he didn’t know how.

  Shaking his head as though doing so might help him think more clearly, he was recalled to his surroundings. Lynx had never been in such a room before. He had noted her gesture and moved closer to the bathtub, turning knobs at random. The water grew warm and then hot. With the instinct of a born mechanic, he had it figured out in seconds. Removing what was left of his clothing, he stepped beneath the spray and let out an ecstatic groan. The cookies had nearly robbed him of speech, but to someone who had always had to bathe in cold water, this went far beyond that. Lynx thought he would have to build her another enock pen as payment for this treat. No, you don’t have to do that anymore, he told himself. She wants you, not a fence.

  Still not believing it fully, he picked up the soap. It was the same as what she had given him to use; proving that, even then, she had considered him her equal. The concept of equality was the one he’d had difficulty grasping since earning his freedom. The conditioning of his mind had been very thorough in that respect. Would he ever feel that anything was his due, rather than a treat tossed to him the way you would reward a dog? He certainly hoped so.

  Stripping off her own sodden garments, Bonnie put on a robe and then took down the clothes she had made for Lynx from the shelf where she had laid them, not knowing when she would ever give them to him—if indeed she ever would. They weren’t fancy but were made from heavy, unbleached cotton, comfortable and sturdy. Lynx had never explained why he wouldn’t wear the others— though it was possible that they simply didn’t fit him. If that was the case, she thought miserably, he wouldn’t be able to wear these, either. She wished he would tell her, because she was tired of trying to figure everything out for herself. Those quiet, uncommunicative types were hard to deal with; they left you guessing their motives at every turn.

  With any other man, Bonnie would have slipped out of her robe and climbed into the shower with him, knowing that he would understand the gesture and respond in kind. She wasn’t sure she could count on that with Lynx, who had undoubtedly seen plenty of unclothed females in his lifetime—what was one more? But if he truly felt differently toward her, perhaps it was worth the risk.

  A quick listen at the door was enough to assure her that he was already in the shower; she could hear the water running, sluicing down his body before splashing against the tub. Opening the door a crack, she was relieved to discover that he hadn’t locked it, and slipping inside, set his clothes on the cabinet. Selecting a soft, fluffy towel from the closet, she laid it on the stool near the shower. Even behind the frosted glass of the door, his body called out to her, telling her that she’d given up much too easily.

  “Um… need your back washed?” she asked. Not very subtle, perhaps, but it was one way of breaking the ice.

  Lynx's answer surprised her. “I have already washed my back,” he said. “But, if you wish, I will wash yours.”

  Bonnie knew she might regret it if that turned out to be all he had in mind, but it was still an offer she couldn’t
refuse. Getting out another towel, she dropped her robe on the floor, and stepped into the tub.

  And let out a gasp of sheer astonishment. She tried desperately to remember some of Jack's more colorful expressions, but couldn’t come up with one that quite fit. His cock might not have been erect, but it was still impressive—as was the rest of him.

  Lynx had put on some weight since his arrival at Bonnie's farm, and it looked damn good on him. No longer painfully thin, he was all strong bones, tanned skin, and sleek muscle, rippling with feline power.

  “No wonder those women wouldn’t leave you alone!” she exclaimed, staring at him in wonder. “Did they ever even let you get dressed?”

  His curling hair had grown to the point that it almost reached his shoulders, and droplets of water scattered when Lynx shook his head. “No,” he replied. “I wore nothing during the years I spent with them.”

  Bonnie began to quiver with excitement. “I just might rip all of your clothes to shreds myself,” she whispered. She stared at him a moment longer before adding, “That's a joke, son. Come on now, at least give me one tiny little grin!”

  It was genuine, but pretty tiny.

  “Oh, you can do better than that,” she scolded, advancing closer. “Are you ticklish?”

  “Ticklish?”

  “Yeah, ticklish,” she said, running a finger down his chest. “Doesn’t that make you want to laugh?”

  “No,” he replied.

  “How about this?” she asked coyly, teasing his navel with a fingertip. “Sylor would double over and scream when I did that to him.”

  “It does not affect me,” Lynx said, but Bonnie could see the effort it was taking to maintain his composure. Delving deeper into his navel, she brushed her other hand over his chest, skimming his nipples.

  His shout of laughter nearly sent her into orgasm. She’d gotten her wish—though it might be all she would ever get. Then she decided that whatever she did get, she was probably going to have to take. Taking advantage of his laughter, she hooked an arm behind his head and pulled him down for a kiss. The heat where their skin made contact would have rivaled a fire, and the soft touch of his lips, strong hands, and warm body melted her. Bonnie slid her hands around him, delighting in the feel of his hot, wet skin beneath her fingers, and her body responded with a tight knot of desire deep inside her and a growing ache between her thighs.

  “Mmmm,” she moaned as he began to purr softly. “You feel so good. Like hot, wet silk.”

  “And you smell of desire,” he murmured. Purring louder, he rubbed his cheek against hers, breathing in her scent, but felt a pang of disappointment at his body's lack of response. She felt so good…

  “I thought that was a bad thing.”

  “No,” he said. “It is something that I cannot respond to as I once did, but I never said it was bad.”

  “Oh,” she murmured as his hands cupped her bottom and pulled her tightly against him. “I guess I didn’t understand…”

  “That is my fault,” Lynx said, nuzzling her ear. “I am sorry to have hurt you, Bonnie. You are not to blame for anything that has happened to me. It has taken me a long time to realize that.”

  “And I can’t judge you by what other men have done to me, either,” she whispered. “But, please, Lynx, promise me just one thing. Don’t shut me out. Tell me what you’re feeling, what you like, and what you don’t. Don’t leave me in the dark.”

  “I will try,” he said hesitantly, “but such things are very difficult for me.”

  Lynx wasn’t even sure what he did like. His own preferences had always been deemed insignificant in the past. He had emerged from slavery craving only peaceful solitude, but this was clearly not the time for that.

  It was second nature for a Zetithian man to entice women, to be seductive and teasing, but Lynx had been sure he’d forgotten how until he watched Bonnie move toward him in an intoxicating blend of soft curves and sleek muscle. He’d never beheld anything he considered more beautiful, but knew that what he could see with his eyes went much deeper.

  Bonnie had longed to let her hands roam all over him, but wanted to understand his own desires. “Any good spots?” she inquired. “Any places that are off limits?”

  Barely able to breathe, his arms encircled her, seeking contact without conscious effort and when he opened his mouth to speak, though he had no idea what he was going to say, long-buried patterns of behavior resurfaced. “You may touch any part of me you like,” he said, his voice dropping to a deep, seductive purr. “Unless you tickle.”

  “Didn’t like that, huh?”

  Lynx shook his head slowly. “There are better ways to make me laugh,” he said with a suggestive lift of a black-tipped eyebrow.

  Bonnie stared at him as though seeing him for the first time. “Well, you’ll have to clue me in, Lynx,” she said hoarsely, “because I’m at a complete loss.”

  Leaning down, he murmured, “Lick the tip of my ear.”

  Bonnie took a cautious swipe at it with her tongue, and Lynx laughed even harder than he had when she’d poked him in the belly button. Then she tried sucking on it, and he practically screamed. She relished the sound, only stopping when she remembered that they should at least try not to wake Ulla.

  “Well, that's certainly effective,” Bonnie remarked. “What else do you like?”

  “I like many things,” Lynx said mysteriously. “But I will let you discover them.”

  Bonnie could scarcely believe this was the same man; he’d suddenly gone from someone she should have disliked to someone capable of melting her down to a puddle.

  “Who are you, and what the hell have you done with Lynx?” she whispered.

  A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, but all he said was, “I will wash your back now.”

  With soap-slick hands, Lynx not only washed her back, he caressed her entire body, driving her desire to a fever pitch. Gazing hungrily at his cock, Bonnie waited for some reaction, but though it was thick and long, the head never even peeked past its foreskin. She toyed with the idea of doing a bit of exploring to see what was hidden underneath there, but cautioned herself that this might be one of those places he would rather she not touch.

  However, after he’d massaged her nipples to the point that her milk was about to let down, Bonnie decided that if Lynx didn’t want her playing with his dick, he was going to have to slap her hands away. Wet and aching with need, she took his balls in her hands, washing them thoroughly before slipping her fingers along his shaft, teasing back his foreskin.

  “Wow,” she whispered, gingerly touching the scalloped edge of the head. “I’d sure like to see this thing in full bloom.”

  “I do not believe you will,” Lynx said with marked regret. “It has not functioned in many years.”

  Eyeing it hungrily, she asked, “Is it okay if I suck it anyway?”

  “You may do anything with me you like,” he said, putting that soft, deep tone in his voice again—something that Bonnie didn’t think she would ever tire of hearing, nor would it ever lose its effect. “Unlike the way it has been with others, I long for your touch.”

  “Then I’ll touch you as much as I can,” Bonnie promised. “I’ll massage you, tickle you, fondle you, and caress you. I’ve wanted to do all of those things for so long—you’ve no idea.”

  Lynx couldn’t help but laugh at this. “I have been inhaling your scent since I first came here,” he said. “I know what you want, and I know just how long you have wanted it.”

  No secrets there. “Nasty of you to deny me, wasn’t it?” “I will repay you,” he said seriously. “You will never want for anything, ever again.”

  Which was quite a promise for a man who couldn’t get it up.

  Chapter 14

  BONNIE'S MOUTH WENT DRY AS SHE REMEMBERED where Lynx had received his “training.” He’d probably already forgotten more about pleasuring a woman than most men ever learn to begin with—and undoubtedly still knew more than any man alive. Oddly enough, Bon
nie wasn’t interested in anything fancy; all she wanted was Lynx.

  After toweling each other dry—which was an intensely erotic experience in itself—Bonnie combed out Lynx's tangled curls and dried them. Stepping back to view her handiwork, she shuddered with excitement, thinking that with a hard cock he’d have been absolutely perfect. She thought if she sucked it long enough it might get hard—if she was lucky.

  Sighing regretfully, Bonnie decided that if it didn’t feel good to him, it was pointless to try. It would be hard leaving it alone, though, because while she knew very well that he could use his hands and mouth to have her writhing in ecstasy in no time, what could she possibly do for him? With other men, she’d always gone straight for the dick and, generally speaking, they didn’t complain. But with Lynx, Bonnie knew she’d have to be more inventive.

  Bonnie had never met anyone who didn’t like having their back rubbed, and though it wasn’t much, he seemed to like it—at least he wasn’t complaining. Just lying in bed with Lynx was a treat in itself—one Bonnie had gotten a taste of when Ulla was born. His warm, purring body had felt wonderful then, but this time he was there because he chose to be, not because it was required of him, and the difference was shocking.

  Bonnie still couldn’t understand what had changed him. Lynx had been smitten with Ulla from the start but had barely tolerated Bonnie. Was this merely his way of ensuring that he would get to see Ulla more often? The idea was painful, and Bonnie hastened to assure herself that Ulla was not the only reason he’d kissed her. She tried to play it all back through her mind, trying to remember what he’d said, something—anything—that would prove that he was there because of her and not just her child.

  Lynx felt Bonnie's hands falter and heard her wistful sigh. Being well versed in feminine moods, while he might not have known the exact nature of the problem, he was well aware that one existed. Looking up at her, he asked: “What is troubling you?”