by Susan Lewis
He turned to look at her, all interest and smiles.
However, by the time they walked into the kitchen, twenty minutes later, his temper was starting to boil over. ‘It’s all bullshit, that’s what it is,’ he was shouting as he followed her in through the door. ‘Total effing bullshit.’
‘Hey Dad,’ Hanna sang, skipping in from the hall.
‘Hey you,’ he responded, drawing her into a less bearish hug than usual.
‘So what’s bullshit?’ she wanted to know as he let her go.
‘All this crap your mother’s spouting,’ he retorted, waving a hand at Lucy.
‘Joe, no!’ Lucy cautioned.
‘No what?’ he demanded. ‘Oh Christ, you’re not seriously expecting to pull this off without telling her, are you? You’re losing it, Lucy, do you know that? You’re …’
‘Tell me what?’ Hanna broke in, starting to look worried. ‘What’s going on?’
Glaring at Lucy, Joe said, ‘Well, it seems your mother …’
‘Joe, this isn’t the way to do it.’
Hanna looked suddenly afraid. ‘Oh my God, she’s going to divorce you,’ she cried. ‘Tell her you didn’t mean it, Dad …’
‘It’s not about his affair,’ Lucy cut in angrily.
‘Oh, no, nothing so simple,’ Joe told her savagely. ‘No, she’s got some delusional thing going on …’
‘Hanna, go to your room,’ Lucy commanded.
‘I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what this is about.’
Lucy’s eyes blazed into Joe’s. ‘I swear, if you do this now it’ll be the end for you and me.’
‘Don’t say things like that,’ Hanna cried, punching Lucy’s arm. ‘You know you don’t mean it. Dad, make her take it back.’
‘I don’t think I can make her do anything,’ he snarled, meeting Lucy’s glare, ‘because according to her she’s not even my wife. I think that’s what you’re saying, isn’t it?’
‘For God’s sake,’ Lucy muttered, turning away before she slapped him.
‘What do you mean?’ Hanna demanded. ‘Mum, what’s he talking about? Of course you’re his wife.’
‘Yes, I am,’ Lucy confirmed, without actually knowing if it was true.
‘Well, the way I’m reading it,’ Joe pronounced, ‘is that she’s found a very convenient way of getting around a divorce.’
Before she could stop herself Lucy shouted, ‘Well, wouldn’t I be the lucky one if I could? And if you had any idea of how big this is for me you’d keep your damned stupidity to yourself.’
‘Mum! Stop! He’s …’
‘I told you to go to your room.’
‘Don’t speak to me like that. I’m not a child.’
‘That’s exactly what you are, and until I’m ready to speak to you I’ll thank you to do as you’re told.’
‘No way!’
‘That’s right, you stay put, sweetie,’ Joe encouraged, ‘because I just can’t wait to hear how your mother’s going to tell you what she’s just told me. Hang on, for the record, are you still Hanna’s mother? I’m just trying to keep up with the plot, you understand.’
‘You don’t have to do this,’ Lucy said through her teeth. ‘She’s your daughter, you should have more respect.’
‘Oh, here we go again. This is how we turn it all around to make it Joe’s fault. OK, I can take it …’
‘You’re drunk and completely out of order,’ Lucy raged.
Joe’s eyebrows went up as he looked at Hanna. ‘She’s off her trolley,’ he told her.
‘Dad, you shouldn’t be saying these things,’ Hanna cried. ‘Mum’s upset, you can see that …’
‘You’re too easily taken in,’ Joe retorted. ‘The performance Mum’s giving now …’ He gasped as Lucy threw a drink in his face. ‘What the …’
‘You need to sober up,’ she shouted, ‘and until you do I don’t want you coming anywhere near Hanna or me,’ and grabbing Hanna’s arm she started to frogmarch her out of the room.
‘Just a minute,’ Joe hissed furiously. ‘It might suit you to think I’m drunk, but what the hell do you think our daughter’s going to make of you when you tell her that in order to try and slough off her grandparents and her father, you’re claiming that you were abducted as a child – not by aliens, I’ll give you that – but by Brian and Daphne … Are you getting this, Hanna? You’re supposed to believe that your simple, adoring and honest grandparents didn’t give birth to your mother, but stole her from the bosom of another family, and guess which family it is?’
As Lucy buried her face in her hands, starting to sob, Hanna quickly put her arms around her.
‘Dad, stop. Stop!’ she yelled. ‘You can see you’re upsetting her.’
‘And what do you reckon she’s doing to me?’
‘Hanna, come with me, please,’ Lucy said softly. ‘I promise I’ll tell you everything, just not like this.’
A while later Hanna was sitting cross-legged at the foot of her own bed, looking worriedly at her mother, as Lucy finished telling her what she’d found out over the last few days. ‘So there you have it,’ Lucy said. ‘Obviously I’m still trying to get used to it myself, but if there’s anything you want to ask … Well, I’m sure there is.’
Hanna continued to look at her, saying nothing, until finally she whispered, ‘Wow, that is totally awesome.’
Lucy couldn’t help but smile.
‘When you said earlier that we should have a chat,’ Hanna continued, ‘I must admit I wasn’t expecting anything like this. You are so amazing.’
Laughing as tears flooded her eyes, Lucy said, ‘Do you know how much I love you, Hanna Winters?’
Hanna shrugged. ‘Yeah, I guess so,’ she replied. Then, ‘What Granny and Grandpa did … I mean, depriving you of your family … Actually, I get it now, why you’ve always been so posh. You were born that way. So what does that make me? Posh or not? Oh God, I so hate Posh’s clothes.’
‘Hanna …’
‘I know, I know, it’s not about that, but they really are crap. Anyway, Granny and Grandpa should not be allowed to get away with what they did, because no one should get away with something like that.’
‘You’re right,’ Lucy agreed, realising that Hanna still hadn’t quite thought it all through yet. ‘But remember how much you love them.’
‘Yeah, but …’
‘Listen, instead of thinking how wrong they were to keep a child that wasn’t theirs, let’s try to think of John and Rose and how proud they’re going to be of you. John already is, obviously, and when you meet Rose …’
‘Oh my God, John’s my grandfather,’ Hanna cried, finally starting to catch up. ‘Which makes Pippa my …?’
‘Great-aunt,’ Lucy supplied.
Hanna’s eyes widened. ‘Cool,’ she decided. ‘Seriously cool.’ Then she began to frown. ‘The thing is though … Oh my God, Mum, this might sound terrible but I really love Granny and Grandpa. I mean, I know that’s probably the wrong thing to say after what they did …’
‘No, sweetheart, it’s the right thing to say because they’ve always loved you, and never given you any reason not to love them.’
‘And you feel the same way, don’t you?’ Hanna urged, clearly wanting her to. ‘I mean, I know they shouldn’t have done what they did, but if they lost their real daughter …’ She trailed off as she tried again to assimilate it all.
Deciding not to get into the rights and wrongs of it for the moment, Lucy sat quietly watching her. Finally Hanna’s eyes lit with a different intensity as she said, ‘It must have been so weird for you when you found those cuttings saying you were dead. That is soooo spooky. I know if it was me it would have totally freaked me out.’
‘I admit, I’ve made better discoveries,’ Lucy replied drily.
The humour seemed to pass Hanna by as she said, ‘So anyway, what’s going to happen about Granny and Grandpa now? Are people going to say they’re nuts and lock them up in an asylum or something? Oh God, I don’t thi
nk we should let that happen.’
‘To be honest, I’m not sure where we go from here,’ Lucy told her. ‘Obviously I need to talk to them, but I don’t know if they’re back from their trip yet, so it’s difficult to say when I’ll be able to. I’m planning to go down there sometime in the next few days.’
Hanna’s eyes were imbued with empathy as she said, ‘Do you want me to come with you? I think it might be hard to try and do it on your own.’
Feeling another overwhelming surge of love for her, Lucy said, ‘Let me think about it, because it might be hard for you too.’
Hanna didn’t argue, merely seemed to drift off into how amazing it was all over again. ‘So Sarah’s my auntie and Simon’s my uncle?’ she said, evidently still testing it out.
‘It would seem so,’ Lucy answered. ‘They’ve got another sister, Becky, who’s Simon’s twin. She’s arriving tomorrow.’
Hanna immediately looked cautious. ‘What’s she like?’
‘I don’t know, I’ve never met her.’
‘Apart from when you were like, two?’
‘True, but I expect she’s changed since then.’
It took a moment for Hanna to laugh, and when she did she scooped up her old teddy and hugged him to her chest. ‘I can’t wait to tell Ben all of this,’ she declared. ‘I’ll send him a text, shall I? Mum abducted from train age two and three-quarters …’
‘Don’t you dare.’
‘Just joking, but it will totally blow him away when he finds out.’
‘I’m sure it will, but you must keep it to yourself for now. You can’t even tell Juliette or any of your other friends.’
Hanna pulled a face.
‘I’m sorry, I know you’re probably dying to, but we have to talk to Granny and Grandpa first.’
Hanna nodded. ‘I get it, and don’t worry, I’m really good at keeping secrets. Everyone says so.’
Reaching for her hand, Lucy pulled her across the bed so they were sitting together.
‘Why do you think Dad got so mad about it?’ Hanna asked after a while.
‘I suppose because he wants things to stay the same, and now they’re changing it’s making him feel a bit … Well, insecure, I suppose.’
‘You are married to him though, right?’
‘To be honest, I’m not sure. I’ll have to talk to a lawyer.’
Lifting Lucy’s hand to look at her wedding band, Hanna said, ‘Do you think we ought to go down and see where he is?’
‘Probably.’
As they got up from the bed Lucy said, ‘Are you OK with all of this? Is it making you feel insecure too?’
Hanna thought about it. ‘Not really,’ she replied, ‘because you’re still my mum and Dad’s still my dad, so what’s to worry about?’
Feeling thankful that her age only allowed her to see it from her own point of view, Lucy gave her a hug. ‘Nothing,’ she told her.
When they returned to the kitchen they found a note from Joe letting them know that he’d gone to the pub. Lucy’s eyes closed in dismay as she realised he was probably down there regaling anyone who’d listen with his wife’s ‘bullshit’ story.
‘Are we going to join him?’ Hanna asked tentatively.
Lucy shook her head.
‘What about if I go and get him?’
‘I don’t expect he’ll come.’ With any luck he’d stay out all night again, except what good would that do, apart from allowing her to sleep alone?
Putting her arms around her, Hanna said, ‘I know he still loves you, so you don’t have to worry.’
Smiling, Lucy kissed her head. ‘I’ll try not to,’ she said, and screwing Joe’s note into a tight little ball she tossed it into the bin.
It was a little after midnight when he came home as intoxicated as she’d expected, but fortunately too tired, it seemed, to start railing at her again, or, even worse, to attempt to have sex.
For a long time they lay side by side in the darkness, neither of them speaking, until in the end she felt his hand moving to hers as he said, ‘I’m sorry about earlier. I was well out of order.’
‘So how many people have you told?’ she asked.
‘Actually, I didn’t tell anyone.’
‘Is that the truth?’
‘And nothing but.’
She turned to look at him. ‘Why didn’t you?’
‘Because I knew you wouldn’t want me to.’
Would it be foolish to believe him? Probably, but there was nothing to be gained from arguing.
‘I don’t want to lose you,’ he whispered. ‘Tell me what I have to do to stop that from happening.’
Knowing it was already too late, she turned to stare at the ceiling again.
‘I guess I owe Simon an apology,’ he offered, clearly hoping it might help his case. ‘And about Annie …’
‘Please don’t let’s go there,’ she interrupted.
After a while he said, ‘Don’t shut me out. I’m doing my best here. I want to be there for you, I swear I do.’
Though she didn’t disbelieve him, she could only wish that he knew how to fulfil his promise, but he didn’t, so all she said was, ‘I’m tired and we both need to get some sleep.’
Lucy knew when Becky arrived in Cromstone because Hanna came running in to tell her that a taxi had just pulled up outside the manor and a ‘really tall woman with short dark hair and great big sunglasses’ had got out.
‘You should have seen her, Mum,’ she gushed. ‘I swear she’s a bloke really, except she’s not, because she was carrying a really cool bag and wearing seriously high boots. I reckon they were Jimmy Choo, but it was hard to tell without being up close.’
‘Did she see you?’ Lucy asked. ‘Where were you?’
‘I was feeding the ducks like you told me to.’
Lucy’s eyes widened with astonishment.
‘Joke!’ Hanna grinned.
Flipping her, Lucy said, ‘Well, I guess we’ll get to meet her later, presuming she wants to meet us, that is.’
‘Who could not want to meet us?’ Hanna cried. Then, ‘You know, I’d be really excited if I was you. I mean, that’s if we don’t think about Granny and Grandpa, because that’s definitely not good.’
Though she was unable to think about much else, Lucy said, ‘I suppose I am a little excited, but anxious too.’
‘Yeah, I guess I can understand that, because it must be totally weird going from being an only child one day to someone who has one and a half sisters and a brother the next. So, have you heard yet how Simon took it?’
Feeling a wave of nerves catching her breath, Lucy said, ‘No. I thought Sarah might be over this morning, but there’s no sign of her so far. I’m not sure whether that’s good or bad.’
Apparently deciding she wasn’t sure either, Hanna said, ‘Shall I go and wake up Dad, or should we let him lie in a bit longer?’
‘I think we’ll leave him. Hello,’ she said into the phone, ‘Cromstone Auctions.’
‘Lucy, it’s Rose. I hope I’m not disturbing you.’
As her heartbeat slowed Lucy looked at Hanna. ‘No, of course not,’ she replied. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘I was just wanting to find out how you are today, and to let you know that any time you want to talk I’ll be here.’
‘Thank you, that’s very thoughtful of you.’ Then, after a pause, Lucy said, ‘I believe Becky’s arrived.’
‘Yes, she’s upstairs unpacking.’
She wanted to ask about Simon, but wasn’t sure how to frame the words.
‘I was wondering,’ Rose said, ‘if you might have spoken to Hanna yet.’
Experiencing another catch in her heart, Lucy’s eyes returned to Hanna as she said, ‘Yes, I have. She’s taken it very well, but obviously she’s worried about the grand— About Brian and Daphne.’
‘Of course. I’d like to meet her, when she’s ready.’
‘I’m sure she’d like that. We – uh, I’ll have a chat with her and work something out.�
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‘Lovely. Can I give you my mobile number?’
Reaching for a pen, Lucy wrote it down and said, ‘Thank you. I guess we’ll speak later.’
After ringing off she said to Hanna, ‘That was Rose. She’d like to meet you.’
Hanna’s eyes lit up. ‘When?’
Starting to feel slightly overwhelmed, Lucy said, ‘Actually, can we do it later? It’s just … Well, what are your plans for the rest of the morning? I don’t suppose you feel like getting out of here for a while and going shopping with me?’
Hanna pulled a face. ‘Juliette and I were planning to go and see if Lucas is back … But hey, no probs, I’m here for you, so I’ll text Juju now and tell her I can’t make it.’
‘Are you sure you don’t mind?’ Lucy asked. ‘I don’t want to be stuck here waiting for something to happen with Becky, or Simon, and it’s making me feel better having you around.’
Glowing with self-importance, Hanna said, ‘I told you before, I’m a really good listener, and you’re my mother, for God’s sake, so I’m definitely going to be there for you.’
After arranging to meet ten minutes later, back in the kitchen, Lucy left Hanna sending her text while she ran upstairs to change into a smarter pair of jeans and one of her better tops. With any luck she’d come back from their shopping trip with something that made her look, if not as chic as Becky sounded, then at least a little better groomed than she was right now. She’d like to think she could achieve something of Rose’s elegance, but that was probably far too tall an order for a mere morning’s shop.
After pulling a brush through her hair, she was on her way out of the room when Joe started to come to.
‘Hey,’ he said croakily from the bed. ‘Where you off to?’
‘Shopping with Hanna.’
‘No kidding? You’re going to take some time off. Well, that’s good news.’
Deciding she had to invite him, even though she didn’t want to, Lucy said, ‘Would you like to come with us?’
Yawning and stretching, he said, ‘Yeah, I might. You’ll have to give me time to shower and shave.’
Eager to be gone now, Lucy said, ‘On second thoughts, you know you don’t like shopping, so why don’t you come on later and meet us for lunch? We’ll probably go to Chipping Sodbury, or Cirencester. I’ll call to let you know and leave you some cash for a taxi.’