Collide Series Box Set

by J. C. Hannigan

  Jax was staring down at me inquisitively, thousands of unasked questions deep within his warm brown eyes.

  "Ready to go?" he asked.

  I smiled, sitting up. I kept my eyes on his face, my heart pounding in my chest. The increased tempo could have been from our searing make-out session, or from the fear that he seemed to just know things about me instinctively.

  "Yeah. I bet watching the sun set would be incredible, but I don't really feel like stumbling around in the woods. Plus, I don't know how good you are at navigating through the dark. I know I suck," I remarked as Jax stood up. He laughed and offered me his hand, pulling me up to stand in front of him. He gently squeezed my ass, letting out a primitive groan of regret before he released me.

  I helped him pack up, folding the blanket and handing it to him so he could stuff that into his bag along with the cooler he'd already tucked inside. He swung the bag over his shoulders. He took a moment to brush his hair behind his ears with his hands, and I was again struck by how attractive he was. It made perfect sense that my body was sent into overdrive whenever he touched me.

  Surprisingly, it didn't take as long as the hike out. Probably because I wasn't starving and it was mostly downhill. I almost slipped several times, the tread in my boots proving to be just as useless as the rest of them. Each time, Jax caught me, his strong hand a sturdy reassurance on my arm.

  "I promise, I'm not usually this klutzy." I laughed after the third time it happened. "It's the boots."

  "Definitely the boots." Jax nodded in agreement, staring down at my feet. "But you look hot, and the klutzy you is kind of endearing."

  "Thanks." I rolled my eyes, relieved when I saw the trail widen and vehicles in the near distance. We had finally gotten back to the parking lot.

  "So, with the right boots...would you hike with me again?"

  "Probably not," I said, laughing at Jax's disappointed frown. "I'm kidding. Yes, with the right boots, I'll hike again. I enjoy walking, and I liked hiking. I just hate my boots."

  "Fair enough." Jax reached into the pocket of his jeans, fishing out his truck keys. I shivered; the temperature was starting to drop. Thankful that I would soon be in the warmth of the cab, I thought about the afternoon. Despite the minor, heavy disappearance down memory lane, it was a remarkable date. I wasn't ready for it to end.

  On the drive home, Jax kept conversation steady while he talked about the things he had done since leaving British Columbia.

  "First I traveled to the UK, backpacked for a bit," Jax said, keeping his eyes on the road. "I worked in various villages for a year, with a work visa."

  "Really?" I raised my eyebrows, impressed. I’d never traveled anywhere before, unless you counted Ontario, which I certainly didn't. It didn't hold the same appeal as backpacking the UK.

  "Yeah." He took his eyes off the road for a moment to smile at me.

  "How did you manage that?"

  "My Grandpa left me an inheritance," Jax answered almost stiffly.

  "I'm sorry," I muttered. I was silent for a moment, looking out the window. "When did you get the Harley?"

  "What?" Jax asked, sounding confused and bemused.

  "Your pictures on Facebook." I felt a little embarrassed to admit I'd been snooping on his page.

  "Oh." Jax laughed. "Yeah, I got that when I was in Europe. I sold it before I came home, though. Would have cost more to get it here than it did to buy the damn thing."

  "Oh?"

  "Yeah. Besides, I didn't need a motorcycle and a truck. The truck seemed more appropriate for Ontario weather." Jax shrugged.

  "Makes sense," I remarked, noting his practical nature.

  We were a few blocks away from my apartment and I felt a growing sense of sadness over the fact that we would soon be parting ways. I wasn't ready to end the night. I looked at Jax, reading the desire and longing on his features that echoed mine.

  "Do you want me to drop you off at home?" he asked. I knew he'd do whatever I told him to. He respected my space, my need for time. I almost didn't have to tell him when I'd had too much or when I needed more. He just...got it.

  I bit my lip, focusing on the fact that I didn't want the night to end so soon. I didn't want to rush things with us either, but still. "Maybe you could show me your place?" I hedged, wondering if it would be a better choice for alone time than my apartment. I didn't particularly want to share Jax with anyone else.

  Jax grinned, still looking at me as he changed course from my house to his. "That could be arranged."

  He drove down a couple streets I didn't recognize, pulling up to a blue two-story house. It didn't exactly look like student housing to me, although I wasn't entirely sure what I had expected after the offhand comments Jax made about his living arrangements. Maybe I expected to see discarded beer cans? Or perhaps every light on and music pumping, the window panes pulsing with vibrations? Instead, I looked up at a modest, well-kept house with a sparse dying garden out front, the flowers wilted from the cold snap of autumn.

  He parked in the driveway and turned off the truck.

  "I'll warn you," he said, searching my face for any reservations. "It's student housing. Luckily, none of us really like each other so it's not like they'll interrupt...anything. But it can be loud, and it's probably messy."

  "It's okay." I shrugged, hoping my face didn't betray my nervousness at the thought of being alone with him near a bed. Jax smiled, opening his door. I opened mine too, pausing for a moment to collect myself and steady my breathing.

  My heart was thudding, drumming against my chest in an erratic tempo to the impending evening. No interruptions, just him and I...

  I took another deep, steadying breath, hopping down from the cab. Jax was there, waiting for me. He closed the door with his right hand, his left hand pressed against the side of his truck, trapping me between his arms in a cage of strong limbs. My back was pressed against the truck, the metal cold against my back. His lips found mine, tasting and teasing.

  My pulse jumped with desire and a smidgen of anxiety. I didn't usually like being caged in, but I found my anxiety wasn't from that dislike, as I actually enjoyed the position Jax had gotten me into. It stemmed from my fears of what would come next.

  Sex was the easy part; it always was. It was easy to turn your mind off and focus on the sensations of pleasure. It was the aftermath that scared me. Excluding my tragic introduction to sexual relations, I hadn't slept with many people. There was Rhys, but only a handful of times. Then there was Iain. I had dove straight in, offering myself without thinking of the consequences. He could have used me once and been done with it, but he hadn't.

  Both relationships hadn't ended well. In fact, both Rhys and Iain had ended up in jail. Rhys from driving intoxicated and killing Lauren and Iain because of me.

  I used to think of myself as the kind of girl who went for what she wanted, and I was that girl...until I watched the man I fell in love with get prosecuted. If I hadn't acted on my desires, Iain wouldn't have lost everything.

  Sure, I wouldn't have fallen in love with him, but he would still have his teaching license. He wouldn't have a tainted name, and his face and silence wouldn't be haunting me now.

  I raised my head, looking up into the depths of Jax's irises. The brown had almost completely disappeared, giving way to the liquid gold that usually just danced around his pupils. It was surreal, unearthly.

  "Do you want to go in?" Jax asked, stepping back and giving me space to think clearly again, his devilish smile challenging me while his eyes underlined the acceptance of whatever decision came to pass.

  "Yeah, sure." I shrugged, forcing my reservations to the back of my mind. I would deal with them later. I was careful with Jax. I had made him wait several weeks and I knew that if I asked, he would wait longer.

  This was about me, though. My needs. My desires for him were a thirst I knew I couldn't quench unless I gave in to them.

  Taking my hand, he led me up the narrow walkway and stairs to the blue house. He pr
oduced a key, unlocking the door for us. It was quiet in the hallway, which seemed unusual to me. It was a Saturday night, after all. I would have figured all student houses became party zones on Saturday night, but we didn't see anyone at all as Jax led me up the stairs.

  It was dark there as well, the only light creeping out from the door cracks of a couple rooms. Jax stopped at the fourth door, producing yet another key. He pushed the door open, flicking on the light to his bedroom.

  The walls were painted a boring off-white colour. He had put up a couple of posters in an attempt to make the space more his. Floating shelves lined the wall to my right with a black desk and a laptop computer underneath them. His shelves were lined with various trophies and books, and to the right of them was a large poster of a woman dressed in a white sports bra and tight black shorts, her arms crossed and red fight gloves on her hands as she scowled. Her blond hair was pulled back into a messy pony tail.

  "That's 'Rowdy' Rhonda," Jax explained with a wicked grin. "She's a UFC Fighter."

  "Nice." I raised an eyebrow, shaking my head. There were more posters of female UFC Fighters decorating the walls. His comforter was black with thick, dark gray stripes, and it wasn't made.

  "Sorry." he shrugged. He closed his bedroom door and leaned against it, watching me assess his bedroom. "I told you it would be messy." Aside from his unmade bed, there wasn't a mess to be seen. No dirty clothes littered the floor, no old food wrappers or empty pop bottles.

  "It's cleaner than mine," I confessed, thinking about the pile of dirty clothes I had by my bedroom door. I walked back towards him, my assessment complete.

  "Really? I find that hard to believe."

  "Guess I'll have to show you sometime." I stepped closer. Heart beating frantically, I pressed myself against him and wound my hands around the back of his neck. He leaned down, gently pressing his lips to mine as his arms snaked around to the small of my back.

  The kiss started out as gentle; I could tell that Jax was holding back. He didn't want to frighten me. I deepened the kiss, pressing my body against his and allowing my hands to drop down from the back of his neck to his chest.

  I touched him; I teased him until I felt him release the restraint he had on himself. He groaned, his hands gripping my hips as he directed me back towards his bed. I fell onto it with a soft thud, our kiss only breaking momentarily so I could pull Jax's shirt off over his head.

  His chest was just as defined as his shirts hinted. He stood before me, tall and magnificent, allowing me a moment to drink in just how in shape he really was. No wonder women fell all over themselves when he was around. No wonder I fell all over myself. My eyes roamed the hard, lean muscles of his abs, counting eight defined muscles, and dropped down to his lower abdomen. I had never seen the legendary V muscle in the flesh before, but I now understood the hype.

  Jax had one tattoo that started on his left pectoral muscle and stretched all the way around his arm, so that when his arm was resting at his side, the pattern continued. It was beautiful, and I couldn't help but wonder what the strange design meant.

  "It's a homage to my Hawaiian heritage," Jax explained. "My mother used to show me photos of her family. Her grandfather had the same one, only it was done traditionally instead of with modern ink."

  "What's a traditional Hawaiian tattoo?" I asked, intrigued.

  "They used ash and soot to make the ink, and they would cut the skin open and pour it in," he explained, the corner of his lip lifting in half of a smile. I touched it gently, almost pulling my hand away when it made contact with his hot skin.

  Drawing in a breath sharply, I dropped my hand and tugged the waistline of Jax's jeans, pulling him towards me. I fell, my back resting against his comfortable bed, and watched as he shimmed out of his pants and crawled towards me. My heart was pounding in my chest, but instead of feeling scared, I just felt a burning need. I gave in to the intense wave of that need.

  * * *

  I foolishly thought that nobody would compare to Iain, but...well. I was wrong.

  Jax evoked pleasure I hadn't even known existed. He read me with ease, knowing instinctively just what to do to make me writhe with pleasure. He erased every thought from my mind until all I could think, feel, and breathe was him.

  Afterwards, Jax held me in his arms, my head resting on his beautiful tattoo. I fought exhaustion, willing myself to keep my eyes open. The hypnotic feel of his hand tracing patterns against my skin made my lids feel heavy.

  Sleepovers were not something I just jumped into, or at least...they weren't supposed to be. I had no desire to turn into one of those girls that dove right in, practically picking out wedding venues and naming future children.

  At the end of the day, I definitely didn't want to be the girl that couldn't separate amazing sex from intimacy and just assumed that my happily ever after would be with a certain guy simply because he had gotten a few orgasms out of me.

  I wasn't exactly sure how sleepovers coincided with all of that, but I still felt there was something more intimate about sleeping beside someone. I wasn't sure if I was ready for that level of intimacy...or if I would ever be ready.

  Despite my attempts at staying awake, I was so exhausted from our hike and the activities that followed. I drifted off to sleep almost without realizing.

  * * *

  The sun was beginning to rise, illuminating Jax's bedroom with the pale light of dawn. I opened my eyes and blinked, disoriented as Rowdy Rhonda's poster came into view. I felt Jax's warm body still pressed against mine, and the memories of the night before came back to me in a flood. Warmth pooled in my belly, and I turned my face to look at him.

  Jax was snoring softly, a small smile on his thick lips. I watched him sleep, trying to divulge how I was feeling.

  The inner workings of my mind often confused me. I had conflicting thoughts about breaking my own rules so soon, but it was hard to be angry with myself with Jax's warm body so close.

  As I thought about it, I realized that I didn't regret sleeping over. In fact, I was glad. I hadn't slept better in years. My mind was clear and alert, and I felt well rested.

  However, I was definitely going to be late for work.

  I shifted, trying to free myself from Jax's embrace so I could get dressed. His arm was heavy though, and he opened his eyes as I attempted to wiggle down and out.

  "What you doing?" he asked with amusement, his voice groggy with sleep.

  "Trying to get up...I'm going to be late for work," I answered, still trying to fight with his heavy arm.

  "Oh, right," Jax said, yawning as he lifted his arm and stretched. I stood up, quickly pulling my shirt on over my head. In the dawn of morning with Jax's eyes focused on me, I suddenly felt self-conscious. I wasn't regretting our night together, but I was apprehensive about how things would change, as they undoubtedly would.

  "Are you sure you want to leave so quickly?" Jax asked playfully, gently grabbing me by my waist as I bent over to pick up my jeans from his side of the bed. He effortlessly tugged me on top of him, my shirt doing nothing to protect me from the evidence of his arousal.

  My own pulse increased in response, and I leaned down to give him a tormenting kiss. My hand roamed down, stroking him teasingly. I broke the kiss, leaning up slightly to watch the pleasure and desire dance across his handsome features.

  "I have to work," I answered, releasing him with regret. He moaned, almost laughing as I got back to my task of getting dressed.

  "Fair enough. I'll drive you," Jax offered, sitting up and stretching again.

  As it turns out, I was late for work. Nearly an hour late. Jax offered to drive me all the way, but I had to change into my uniform so I sent him home. I figured that it would be safer to not show up with him.

  I walked into The Bean, seeing Jamie working purposefully behind the counter. "Here you go. Have an amazing day," he was saying to a customer as he handed her a paper bag and change. He smiled as she walked away, his eyes finally landing on me as I sheepishly
stood off to the side.

  I had never missed a day of work or been a minute late since I started working at The Bean. I was accountable and dependable.

  Jamie knew this, Mark knew it, and I knew it. But Jamie was still wearing a look of stern reproach that made me feel immensely guilty, as if I had let him down. I suppose I had.

  "I'm sorry, I—" I started to explain, but Jamie's laughter cut me off.

  "Oh don't worry about it, honey." Jamie smiled with a wave of his hand. "Mark told me you had a date yesterday. I figured you'd be a little late this morning. Consider this a free pass, since you've never been a second late before. Keep in mind you only get one. Next time, you're fired."

  I raised an eyebrow at him, turning my head slightly as I tried to figure out if he was kidding. It was hard to tell. While Jamie was a very caring, exuberant person, I knew he took his business very seriously and only employed dependable workers. He had a reputation to uphold for having the best coffee, the best food, and the hardest working staff. Jamie wouldn't let someone walk all over the schedule. In my time working there, I had witnessed one girl lose her job over her inability to follow it.

  "I'm sorry," I said again, slipping into the back to drop my purse and jacket off in the small cubby in Jamie's office.

  I ended up at Brianna's stupid party because Crimson was desperately excited about it, and I couldn't say no to her bouncing red curls. Plus, she made me feel guilty.

  It turned out that Crimson had never been to a bona-fide party before. She insisted that it was an experience she had to have, and that it would be a fun way for us to spend Saturday night. I ended up giving in to her just so she'd stop pleading, her sob story expertly wearing down my resolve.

  I took my time getting ready after my shift, but all too soon I found myself standing on the porch with Crimson, Jenna and Lucas, allowing Jax to knock on our behalf. Crimson's boyfriend was running late, but she told us he would just meet us inside. I had tried to argue that we should wait for him, but nobody bought my excuses to delay.