Collide Series Box Set

by J. C. Hannigan

  “Also, please make sure your parents don’t mention coming up here to my mom, then she’ll want to come with Larry,” I pleaded, shivering. I didn’t want to deal with Larry’s over-bearing attitude or my mother’s excessive fawning.

  “Fine,” Jenna rolled her eyes, pursing her lips like a sullen teenager. I knew she didn’t agree with the distance I was forcefully putting between my mother and me.

  “I appreciate it,” I told her. I leaned back against the back of the sofa. “Just so you know, Jax is moving out of student housing. As of the first of March, he’ll be our new neighbor,” I said as casually as I could. I felt the urge to change the subject, not wanting Jenna to lecture me about my mom again.

  “You asked him to move in?” Jenna couldn’t mask her surprise.

  “No, he’ll be renting the upstairs apartment here,” I quickly corrected. “But…” I added, hesitating. “He did ask me if I wanted to move in with him.”

  “Do you?” Jenna tilted her head, studying me with her cornflower blue eyes full of curiosity.

  “Yes and no,” I answered honestly. “I’m not the kind of girl that can jump into that…I feel like it’s too soon. But I love how he makes me feel.” I couldn’t tell her that I was scared. Moving in with Jax seemed so permanent, and while I wanted that permanency with him, it still frightened the daylights out of me.

  “You’re scared and hesitating because of it,” Jenna accused, crossing her arms and glaring at me. “You’re holding yourself back. Why are you holding yourself back? Is it because you saw Iain today?”

  “No! I would have felt the same way regardless. Not everything is about him, you know. And I’m not holding myself back,” I argued, sure of it. My reservations started the moment Jax told me, not the moment I saw Iain. After all I had been through, I was scared to let myself believe in a happily ever after. “I just...I don’t know. I don’t want to leave you hanging. And besides, I like it here.”

  “First off, you are holding yourself back. Second, you wouldn’t leave me hanging. I could find another roommate if I needed to. Third, you wouldn’t be moving far away, just up the stairs. We could still have our Ryan Gosling, Ben and Jerry dates,” Jenna pointed out. “Unless Iain really is a reason why you’re hesitating. I mean, he’s got to be! You’re afraid to move forward and I think it’s because you still have feelings for him.”

  I got the impression that Jenna really wanted me to dive into this, and that if I didn’t, she’d assume that I still had feelings for Iain. I was admittedly growing a little bit aggravated. I didn’t want to be pressured into making a decision about moving just to prove I didn’t still have feelings for my ex.

  “We’ll just see how things go…” I sighed. It irked me that my thoughts did drift to Iain, just for a moment. I had a dark feeling that whatever Iain had to tell me would change things.

  What they’d change, I wasn’t exactly sure.

  “So, you’re getting trained by that yummy personal trainer at the gym too, huh?” Delilah’s voice startled me and I lost the grip on my pen. I had written some notes for my novel before class started. Nothing major, just a couple of ideas I’d been tossing around that I didn’t want to forget.

  Scowling, I closed my notebook and bent over to pick up the pen as she dropped down into the free seat beside me. I really needed to make some friends, if only to fill up the chairs around me so I wouldn’t have to interact with people I didn’t want to talk to. The only problem was there wasn’t anybody I really wanted to talk to—excluding my very small, selective circle of friends, none of which were in Creative Writing with me. “Actually, he’s more than my personal trainer. He’s my boyfriend.”

  “Oh my God, you lucky bitch,” Delilah said, her eyes widening with astonishment. She considered me for a moment and then shrugged a shoulder. “I was going to ask how you managed that, but it makes sense.”

  I frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Delilah flipped her coffee coloured hair over her shoulder and gave me a knowing smile. “You’re hot. He’s hot. It’s really not all that shocking. It’s just a bummer he’s off the market,” Delilah remarked almost sadly. She pouted. “I was going to make him my next conquest. There are limited guys of interest in Ottawa, unfortunately. Not like back home. The selection there is far more…exotic.”

  “Where is home, anyway?” I asked, adding and could you return there promptly in my head.

  “Portugal, originally,” Delilah responded. “My parents and I moved to Canada when I was four. We travel home every summer to see family; I always have the best time. Portugal is full of rich culture and sexy men.”

  “Cool.” I really wasn’t interested in Delilah’s personal life. In fact, I really wasn’t interested in Delilah at all. I wished she’d stop trying to befriend me—if that’s what she was even doing. Hell, even my friendship-making skills were more refined, and that was definitely saying something.

  Delilah didn’t seem put off by my lack of interest. “Well, I promise to not have too many naughty thoughts about him during my sessions,” she said, giving me a coy smile.

  I gritted my teeth, resisting the urge to slap her. It was better not to show someone they were getting under your skin.

  Luckily, Professor Sharpe walked in and spared me the need to answer. He walked up to the podium and peered around the room, his eyes coming to rest in our direction. Delilah sat up even straighter, her regular seductive smile back on her face.

  I sighed. It was going to be a long class.

  * * *

  I was right: it was a long class. Sitting beside Delilah was more exhausting than dealing with seven hundred children hopped up on sugar. I darted out of class quickly, trying to avoid spending any more time than required near her.

  As luck would have it, I caught sight of both Jenna and Crimson walking down Taberet Lawn. I let out a sigh of relief and jogged towards them, catching up with ease. They were in the middle of a conversation—or rather, Crimson was in the middle of a lengthy story and Jenna was nodding and humming her responses. Jenna smiled at me in greeting, unwilling to interrupt Crimson.

  “Hey!” I said, finally catching a break in Crimson’s steady flow of words.

  Crimson startled, my sudden appearance catching her by surprise, then she broke into a huge grin. “Harlow! Hey! We’re on our way over to The Bean! I work in half an hour, and we figured we’d grab a coffee first.”

  “Awesome. I’ll walk with you guys,” I told her, glancing over my shoulder. I could see Delilah in the distance, heading in the same direction. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to reach us—or me—but I didn’t particularly want to find out. I’d had enough of her “friendliness” for one day.

  “I was just telling Crimson about girls’ weekend,” Jenna filled me in with a gentle smile.

  “Oh my God! I’m so excited!” Crimson squealed, her eyes shining. “I so need this. You don’t even know!”

  I looked over my shoulder again, seeing Delilah still walking in the same direction a couple yards behind us. I gritted my teeth with aggravation. We were almost at The Bean, and I just hoped we reached it before she caught up or saw where we went.

  “Who are you looking at?” Jenna frowned, trying to follow my gaze.

  I sighed. “Just this bitchy girl from my Creative Writing class. She won’t leave me alone,” I answered, my brow furrowing. Jenna arched a brow, and I could tell she was wondering if I was just being cold, like I’d been with Crimson in the beginning. “Trust me, Jenna, she’s a bitch. She’s conceited and her friendship-making skills are worse than mine. She’s literally worse than Callie because she’s actually intelligent.”

  Jenna pursed her lips, understanding the comparison. Callie used to be Jenna’s best friend back in high school. Callie was also one of the main people who tormented Jenna throughout her pregnancy and sided with Andrew Cooper.

  We pushed open the door to The Bean and walked inside, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

 
* * *

  Between work, school, and exercising, I was busy over the next week. After my shift on Saturday, I all but ran home. The sooner I showered, the sooner Jax was going to pick me up for our date. I had no idea where he was taking me, but I was excited.

  I pushed open the door quickly, coming to an abrupt stop as I stared at the full couch. I didn’t expect to see my mom sitting timidly beside Mrs. Burke on our living room sofa, sipping from one of our mugs.

  Her face split into an ecstatic grin when she saw me, and she quickly set her mug down on the coffee table before she rushed at me for a hug. Her thin arms wrapped around me, pulling me tightly to her body. “Harlow! Honey! I missed you so much!” she said, her voice wavering with emotion.

  I looked up at Jenna, who was still sitting on the couch beside her mother, wearing a very guilty look on her face. “I tried to text you,” she mouthed, shrugging.

  Even though I’d gotten the screen fixed and technically had no reason not to check my phone, I naturally hadn’t the one day when checking my phone probably would have been useful.

  “Hey, Mom,” I said, trying to keep my voice light. “I missed you too.”

  “You look good,” Mom remarked, backing up to inspect me carefully. Her eyes lingered on my scar for a fraction of a minute before moving on. “A little too skinny, maybe. Have you been eating?”

  “Yes, Mom.” I sighed, shrugging out of my coat. “Hi, Mrs. Burke,” I added, smiling tightly at Jenna’s mother.

  “Hello, Harlow,” Mrs. Burke said warmly. She was an older copy of Jenna; all legs and blonde hair. She was dressed in expensive-looking trousers and a blouse. Matching, naturally. I liked Mrs. Burke, even if she was a little too polished and Stepford-wifeish to me.

  “Jenna was just telling us about your plans for next weekend,” Mom said, smiling the same, tight smile I wore when uncomfortable or displeased. I could tell she wasn’t ecstatic that I was making plans to head out of town with the girls when I claimed to be far too busy to visit her and Larry up north.

  “Oh? Then she probably told you it was completely her idea. She even spoke to my bosses to make sure I could get the time off,” I answered.

  I couldn’t help but feel amused by my reaction to my mother’s unexpected visit. It was almost like each time I saw her, I instantly went back to the rebellious teenager I once was. Even at twenty-two, I still wanted to stick my lip out and pout and defy everything that she said just because she was my mother.

  “Maybe I should start doing that,” she joked, trying to ease the tension.

  “Maybe.” I smiled a small, yet genuine smile. It wasn’t lost on me that Mom was trying, that she loved me and just wanted what was best for me. I put my rebellious teen self to rest. “Do you mind if I make a phone call then hop in the shower? Jax is supposed to come over. I didn’t know you were coming, but maybe we could all go out for dinner?” my voice sounded strange to me—hesitant, vulnerable, and unsure.

  I looked a lot like my mom had when she was younger; I had her features, her thick lashes and dark hair. Mom was beautiful, but she carried worry on her shoulders and it had aged her. I was likely to blame for that. But when she smiled, it was radiant; it lit up her entire face and made her look ten years younger. “That sounds like a lovely idea, Harlow.”

  “Okay, great. I’ll…be right back,” I promised, edging my way down the hallway to the bathroom. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket, where I’d slipped it in after taking my jacket off. I sent a quick text message to Jax, explaining the change of plans and asking if he wanted to join us. Then I turned on the shower and undressed quickly, stepping under the steady flow of hot water.

  I showered in record time, wrapping a towel around my body and sneaking to my bedroom while the sounds of conversation floated down the hall from the living room. Our moms were discussing their drive. Mom had driven Jenna’s car, following Mrs. Burke. Apparently, she’d accidentally taken a wrong turn and ended up lost. Mrs. Burke had to back track to find her then put the address into the GPS so it wouldn’t happen again. I closed my door to Jenna’s laughter, shaking my head. It was just like my mom to get lost on a highway that traveled east and sliced right through Ottawa.

  I dressed in fleece-lined tights and a sweater dress. I French-braided my long hair and applied my go-to look for makeup. In between getting dressed and doing my makeup, I checked my phone to find that Jax had texted me.

  Hey babe…you should go to dinner with your mom. I’ll pick you up in the morning for breakfast.

  A small bubble of disappointment popped, but I shrugged it off. Jax likely didn’t want to sit through an awkward dinner with us and our mothers. I could understand that, although it saddened me that I was losing time spent with him.

  Plus, if I was being perfectly honest, a swell of insecurity had washed over me and I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something else Jax would rather be doing.

  Like Delilah.

  I couldn’t get her words out of my head, the way she openly admitted to wanting Jax. Nor could I get the image of her laying it on thick for him that day at the gym. He had pulled away from her touch, and he hadn’t even looked at her with interest…but still.

  Jealousy was a stupid bitch.

  I knew I should just talk to Jax about it, but I couldn’t admit my insecurity. How hypocritical would that be?

  I responded to his text before I left my room, telling him I’d see him tomorrow.

  “Are you guys ready?” I asked, joining them in the living room.

  “Sure are,” Mom declared, smiling. “You look lovely! Is Jax joining us?”

  “Thanks…and no, something came up.” I shrugged, trying to feign indifference. “Let’s hit up Johnny’s.”

  Jenna clapped her hands with delight. “Oooh! Let’s! I’m dying for their pizza. I’ll drive!”

  We put our coats and boots on and headed down to Jenna’s car. Mrs. Burke sat shotgun while Mom and I crawled into the backseat. Jenna obsessively ran her hands along her steering wheel, almost purring. “I’ve missed you baby!”

  “Oh Jenna.” Mrs. Burke chuckled, shaking her head as Jenna reversed out of her parking spot. It took less than seven minutes to drive to the restaurant and find parking.

  We ordered bruschetta and wood-oven flat bread for an appetizer and a large Greco pizza for our main course. We sipped on red wine while Jenna and I took turns talking about our classes and what was happening in our lives.

  “How’s Lucas?” Mrs. Burke asked, pausing to take a sip from her wine glass. Her eyes were light and warm.

  “Oh, we um…we broke up.” Jenna flushed, avoiding looking at her mother.

  “Really?” Mrs. Burke sounded surprised. “Why? He was such a nice boy.”

  “It just wasn’t working,” Jenna dismissed, shrugging. “Besides, I want to focus on finishing school and finding a job.”

  “Exactly what you should be focusing on anyway,” Mrs. Burke said after some thought. She smiled warmly at her daughter and reached out to touch her hand. “You’ve got plenty of time to find the one, Jenna.”

  “I know.” Jenna smiled.

  “What about you, Harlow? You’re still seeing Jax, right?” Mom asked, arching a brow.

  “Yes,” I mumbled, feeling uncomfortable. I shot Jenna a warning glance, pleading with her to not mention the whole moving thing.

  She nodded curtly with acknowledgment before changing the subject. “How’s Daddy?”

  The small talk continued, and when dinner was over a scramble to pay for the bill ensued. Mom insisted on at least covering for our half, while Jenna’s mom tried to insist it was okay. Eventually, she gave in to my mom’s insistence. Maybe my stubborn streak could have been influenced by her, too.

  “Well, we should probably get back to your place and grab my car.” Jenna’s mom sighed as we walked out of the restaurant.

  “Are you sure you’re okay to drive, Mom?” Jenna unlocked the doors and I crawled in.

  “Of course. I only had
one glass of wine. We’ll hit up Tim Hortons before we leave town.” Mrs. Burke winked. Jenna nodded, accepting this answer. She started her car and drove us back to our apartment. After hugging our moms goodbye, we watched while they drove off before heading inside.

  “See? That wasn’t so bad,” Jenna remarked. She unlocked our door while I gave her a steady gaze.

  “Did you know that was going to happen all week?”

  “Nope,” she responded, pushing open the door and flicking the light on. “I thought my dad was coming up, but he got held up at work or something. I didn’t know about it until they showed up.”

  “Probably because my mom told your mom not to tell you. She knew I’d find out about it and probably thought I’d make myself scarce.”

  “Why would she think that?” Jenna frowned, unzipping her knee high boots. “I thought you said things were getting better with her.”

  “That was before the whole…thing…in December. Now she’s back to frantically worrying and constantly fawning over me, so I’ve been avoiding her calls.”

  “Harlow!” Jenna scolded as she straightened up. “She’s your mother. She loves you and she’s worried about you—rightfully so. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if my daughter was…” Jenna trailed off suddenly, her face paling and then turning a shade of green. She looked close to fainting.

  “Jenna, are you okay?” I demanded, gripping her around her arms. She swayed a little, her eyes momentarily clouded as she was lost in her own personal hell.

  The cloudiness cleared at my firm touch, and she shook her head. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she muttered, brushing back a strand of her hair. I released her, giving her space that I thought she needed. “I’m just not feeling well…I’m going to go lie down.”

  “Okay…” I said warily, watching as Jenna shuffled down the hall to her room. She quietly closed the door, leaving me in our quiet apartment with my concerned thoughts.

  * * *

  I didn’t sleep well that night; for a rare change, it wasn’t because of nightmares. I tossed and turned, my thoughts gripping tight onto the look on Jenna’s face when she’d mentioned her daughter. Even if she had said it without thinking, meaning for it to be hypothetical, she’d triggered herself. I knew she’d spend the next few days locked in that darkness and it only reminded me about the secret I carried.