Collide Series Box Set

by J. C. Hannigan

  “Same old story there.” She sighed, her grin fading. Sadness edged her eyes, but she struggled to shake it off. “I’m trying to get over it…but…” She gazed toward the door.

  “It’s hard,” I told her empathetically. “But who knows, maybe you’ll meet a hot guy at the concert.”

  “Maybe,” Crimson responded half-heartedly, sounding unconvinced.

  “No maybe about it. I’m sure hot guys listen to folky music,” I joked, giving her an encouraging smile. “Or at least hot hipster guys do.”

  Crimson snorted. “I need a rebound. I don’t care if it is a hipster. I’d be all over his square beard and glasses like a fat kid on cake.”

  “Glasses and cake? Why are you discussing my early adolescence?” Jamie’s lilting tone drifted over to us before he pushed the swinging door open with gusto. His hand prevented the door from swinging back, and he fixed his pale blue eyes on us with a forlorn stare. “I told my mother to burn those horrid pictures because I never wanted to see them again. How did you know about those painful, painful memories?” Jamie placed his hand over his heart as if he was wounded. The comical smile he was working hard to conceal gave him away.

  “Easy, killer.” I grinned. “We were talking about hot guys at the concert and how Crimson doesn’t care if they have square beards or square glasses.”

  “Oh, in that case, I completely endorse you jumping all up on those hotties like my former fat-kid self on cake.” Jamie winked. The door chimed, alerting us to the arrival of a new customer. “Speaking of fat kids and cake…looks like your preferred dessert of tall, dark and sexy is waltzing up, Harlow.”

  “I knew you liked me.” Jax grinned at Jamie, ruefully shaking his head. He came to a stop in front of the counter.

  My smile changed to the dopey one I always seemed to have around Jax. It had been a busy week again, between our individual studies, work and Jax disappearing to help the landlord with renovations, we hadn’t really had time to hang out. He had crashed at my place several times, but we were too hungry for each other to really talk and hang out. We devoured each other before passing out from exhaustion only to rise again in the morning and repeat the whole thing.

  Jax had booked off the rest of today and tomorrow morning so that we could spend time together before I left with Jenna and Crimson. I didn’t really know what was on the agenda, nor did I care. Spending time with Jax was a pleasure no matter what we were doing, and I’d be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t excited for it.

  “Hey.” I grinned. “I’ve still got twenty minutes,” I told him, gesturing toward the clock that hung on the wall behind me.

  “I know, I’m a little early.” Jax winked. “Figured I could grab a coffee and stare at your beautiful face with adoration for a bit.”

  “Barf,” Jamie joked. “You two make me ill with your lovey-dovey gooeyness. Harlow, get out of here. Consider yourself off early today, for the good of the customers. I don't want them to feel ill too.”

  “Gee, thanks, Jamie," I replied dryly, rolling my eyes while I hid a smile. I didn't know how to feel about Jamie sending me home early. I normally would have been a little irked—I liked money, I liked earning it and I liked saving it. But I also really liked spending time with Jax, and I hadn't had an opportunity to do that this week.

  Shrugging, I stepped away from the front counter and headed to the staff room to grab my things, the sound of their casual conversation following me until the staff room door swung shut. I could listen to Jax talk for hours. He was one of those people that could talk to just about anyone. He was warm, friendly, and genuine. He was like Crimson in that regard, only he wasn’t as enthusiastic. He was more laid back; most things rolled off Jax’s shoulders.

  I’d only ever witnessed Jax lose his laid back demeanor a handful of times. The night I told him about Cole and what had happened to me, the night that Andrew had attacked me, and the day I told him I’d just locked lips with my ex-boyfriend.

  Forcing those thoughts from my mind, I continued to the task at hand: getting my stuff so I could get home for a quick shower. I needed to wash the smell of coffee and pastries off my skin and hair. My purse and jacket were stuffed into the lone locker in the staff room. I had to be careful not to knock any of Crimson’s things out. I walked back out of the staff room, seeing that Jax was still standing at the counter chatting with Jamie and Crimson. Only, the three of them were not alone.

  Standing beside Jax was Iain Bentley.

  My heart felt like it was going to drop straight out of my chest cavity and fall into the pit of my stomach. I forgot how to breathe for a moment, my eyes widening at the sight before me. All the sound around me seemed to fall away for several moments before it came rushing back with an intensity that made me sway on my feet.

  Jamie was gesturing animatedly at Iain, a huge grin on his face. “This is my brother. He’s extremely handsome and talented and single,” Jamie said. He sent a secret wink to Crimson. “He’s no hipster, but he does write! Don’t you, big bro? He’s released his debut novel two months ago, and he’s asked if he could do a book signing here next week for two days!”

  Jax spotted me and the easy smile faded from his lips as he took in my pallor and the look on my face. “Are you okay, Harlow?”

  The moment my name tumbled from his lips, Iain’s head snapped from Jax to me. His eyes widened at the sight of me. “Harlow?” he said with surprise. He wasn’t expecting me here, which meant he hadn’t known I worked here when he ran into me a few weeks back. Still, it wasn’t a welcoming thought.

  I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly as dry as sandpaper, my heartbeat thudding loudly in my chest. Did Jamie say that Iain was his brother? Suddenly, a memory from the time Iain and I escaped to Ottawa came back: when we laid in bed and Iain told me you can’t help who you love, and explained how his family had accepted his gay brother without any hesitation so he had no doubt that they’d eventually accept the unconventional way we met.

  Jamie couldn’t be his brother. There was absolutely no way that the universe was that fucked up.

  “Oh! You know each other?” Jamie said with an equal amount of surprise.

  My eyes sought out Jax’s. I could tell he was slowly putting two and two together. His jaw clenched and he exhaled through his nose.

  “Yeah, okay. So, I need to go…” I said, backing away from them all and looking at Jax pleadingly. He read between the lines, grabbing his coffee off the counter before stalking over to me. His free hand was clenched at his side, and his eyes were burning with emotion. I didn’t know what the cause behind all the turmoil rolling around in him was, but if I had to guess, it was my former lover and teacher.

  I needed to escape this fucked up situation before I said or did something I regretted. Like start screaming at Iain, demanding to know why he kept popping up everywhere in my life, for example.

  Somehow, I didn’t think Jamie would be okay with that.

  I grabbed Jax’s hand and his fingers entwined with mine the moment our flesh touched. He relaxed a little, eased by the contact, and allowed me to lead him out the door. We didn’t speak for several long, agonizing minutes. I finally looked at him, tugging his arm slightly to pull his attention back to me. “I swear to you Jax, I had no idea Iain was related to Jamie.”

  “I gathered that.” Jax sighed, the tension releasing from his jaw.

  The rest of our walk was silent, neither of us knowing what to say. We walked up to my apartment. I had to let go of Jax’s hand to unlock and open the door. Jenna’s boots and jacket were gone, meaning we had the apartment to ourselves. I closed the door behind Jax, locking it.

  Jax stepped up behind me, wrapping his arms around my chest and pulling me back against him. He rested his head on top of mine after he kissed it. “Just so you know, I’m not mad at you. I think that you think I’m mad at you, but I’m not…not at you.”

  “But you are mad,” I pointed out, melting back into him.

  He chuckled lowly. “Of c
ourse I’m mad. I just exchanged pleasantries with someone I didn’t even know I hated that much. The urge to rearrange his face when I finally clued in was difficult to ignore.”

  “Such a guy response.” I sighed. “Angry. Must. Hit.”

  “Hey, that’s basically your response too,” Jax said, referring to my tendency to unleash all my fury on the gym’s punching bags.

  “Basically.” I turned to face him. Jax looped his arms around my hips, letting his hands fall to cup my ass. “Now, back to what’s important…” I said slowly, my hands settling on the back of Jax’s strong neck and urging his face down to meet mine.

  I kissed him slowly at first, lavishing his mouth with the attention I was just as desperate for. Jax changed the angle of the kiss, driving it deeper and faster. He cornered me against the door, feeding into the desire we both felt. I could feel him against my thigh, hard and completely at attention. Jax’s responses to me always made me feel like a goddess.

  I attempted to undo his belt without breaking the kiss. His hand stilled me and he regretfully broke the kiss to look at me with longing and mischief. “You know, if we lived together, I wouldn’t have to worry about your roommate walking in on us. We could do it anywhere…”

  I arched a brow. “Well, that just about sells it for me,” I joked playfully. Jax growled, his lips finding mine again. Nipping, tugging, biting and pulling while his large hands roamed my body with promise.

  Pulling myself up using Jax’s neck, I tightened my legs around his hips. He carried me to my room.

  * * *

  Afterwards, we lay in my bed together, my head resting on his chest, his arm wrapped around my body while his other hand continued to roam and touch. Jax was always touching me; he never missed an opportunity.

  I was struck with just how peaceful I felt when I was near him. He made the numbness go away; he made me want to embrace the good and the light. He made me feel warm and alive in a different way than I’d experienced before. With Iain, there had been an urgency to connect: everything was rushed. He was like a drug that I couldn’t get enough of; a drug that made me high and left me feeling strung out.

  This thing with Jax was different. He made me feel warm and alive, but it was more like the way sunlight helps a plant grow and flourish. Jax was my sunlight.

  There was still an urgency to be with him, a desire that consumed me more so than anything I’d felt before, but this was better. More. It felt healthier, it felt right.

  And yet…I still hesitated with him because losing people was all I’d known. Granted, sometimes I chose that. I chose to burn bridges, I chose to disconnect myself from people because I knew it would hurt less. My dad, Lauren, Iain—they’d all been taken from me before I was ready to say goodbye.

  I knew I had an entire storage unit of baggage to sift through before I could allow myself to truly move forward with Jax, and that was a scary thought. I didn’t know where to start.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” Jax asked, his voice gravelly from our previous activities. He peered down at me with those eyes that I could lose my soul to willingly.

  “I don’t know,” I answered.

  “That’s a lie.” Jax’s lips curved with the hint of a smile. “You do know…you just don’t want to say it.”

  I didn’t want Jax to assume I had regrets, or was thinking about my past in the way he probably thought I was thinking about it. “I was just thinking…” I started. “About how in love I am with you.”

  “And the frown is for…?”

  “Fear,” I whispered, keeping my gaze on him. “The frown is for fear.”

  “You’re afraid of your feelings for me still.” He didn’t say it in an accusatory way. He was simply stating a fact. A fact that may bother him a little bit, but I knew he understood it completely.

  “Everything good in my life blows up in my face,” I told him. “Everyone I let in, everyone that I care about…they always end up leaving in some way…or causing me harm.”

  “That won’t happen,” Jax said with determination. “Not with me. I already told you, I’ll give you whatever you need. If you need time, I’ve got plenty of it. If you need space, I’ll hate it but I’ll give it to you. If you need me to walk away, I’ll do it…even if it kills me. But only if you want that. Otherwise, I’m completely yours. You’re it for me, Harlow. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

  Jax’s words unlocked something in me, and the fear seemed to disappear. In that moment, I was unafraid of being in love with him. In that moment, I was able to envision a proper future with him, and I liked what I saw. I smiled. “I don’t think I need time,” I confessed, lifting my head so that I could kiss him.

  “Does this mean what I think it means?” Jax asked.

  I pretended to think about it. “Yeah, it does. I guess I’ll move in with you,” I joked. The words felt right. “I’ll tell Jenna this weekend.”

  * * *

  Jenna’s driving made me a little nervous, or maybe it was the fact that we were going to a city I hated. Either way, I was relieved that we made it safely to the hotel by four o’clock.

  “The concert starts at eight, but we need to get in early to avoid the lines,” Jenna instructed as we boarded the elevator up to our room on the fifth floor. She clutched the room card in her hand tightly.

  “Just how do you suppose we avoid the lines?” I asked. “Isn’t the show sold out? Meaning, won’t it be busting at the seams?”

  “Pretty much yes.” Jenna shrugged, unconcerned. “But I have VIP passes!” she added, wiggling her brows.

  “OH MY GOD!” Crimson screamed shrilly. “How on EARTH did you score those?” she demanded.

  “Jenna has a thing with the lead singer,” I told Crimson, smirking at the scathing look on Jenna’s face.

  “We don’t have a thing,” she said, frowning. “You can buy VIP passes.”

  “Yeah, but you didn’t,” I guessed. Judging by the pink tint to Jenna’s face, I was exactly right.

  “Whatever,” Jenna said as the elevator dinged and opened. She stalked out quickly, leading the way to our room.

  The hotel room was a little cramped. The door opened up to a quick little half wall that blocked the bedroom area. The bedroom had two queen sized beds and a huge dresser and two chairs, one on either side of the room. A flatscreen TV sat on top of the dresser, and the bathroom was directly across from the door.

  “Let’s get this party started!” Crimson declared before kicking off her shoes and instantly climbing up on one of the beds. She started to jump, motioning at us to join her. Jenna laughed, shaking her head as she took off her own shoes. She climbed up on the bed with Crimson and started to jump as well. “Why are you just standing there?” Crimson demanded.

  “I don’t really jump on beds,” I said. “At least not like that.”

  “Harlow is allergic to having fun,” Jenna joked, blowing me a kiss.

  “That’s not true.” I frowned. “I just don’t think ‘fun’ constitutes as jumping on a bed.”

  “Are you still wigged out about the whole Iain thing?” Crimson asked. She stopped jumping and sat on the edge of the bed. Jenna stopped as well, remaining standing up.

  “What Iain thing?” Jenna demanded, her eyes narrowing.

  I shifted uncomfortably on my feet, sending Crimson a displeased look. “He was at The Bean yesterday.”

  “Why?”

  “Because apparently he’s Jamie’s brother,” I grumbled.

  Jenna was still for a moment, shock widening her blue eyes. “Holy shit,” she said.

  “Yup, and we’re going to see a lot more of him,” Crimson said gleefully. “He’s doing a book signing for his novel next week.”

  “Wait, back the bus up.” Jenna held her hand up to Crimson. “Why does she look excited about that?” she asked me directly. “Does she not know who Iain is?”

  “Not entirely…” I trailed off, feeling guilty. I’d never gotten around to telling the awkward story, a
nd I wasn’t planning on it.

  “What? What’s going on?” Crimson looked back and forth between Jenna and I.

  “You can go ahead and tell her.” I sighed. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

  “The hell you do.” Jenna snorted. “Get over here and sit down.” She pointed to the opposite bed. I sat, crossing my arms. “Iain Bentley was our grade twelve English teacher,” Jenna told Crimson.

  Crimson was silent for a minute, then she whistled lowly. “Woah. I wouldn’t have guessed that. I mean, he looks older, but not like…teacher older.”

  “Yup, there’s the sordid details,” I said, attempting to stand up again.

  “Not done yet.” Jenna waved her finger at me. “So, Harlow and Iain carry on this secret relationship. He gets caught, and he ends up going to jail. Then when he’s released, he doesn’t once reach out to Harlow to let her know how he is or what’s going on. I watched this girl pine over him for nearly two years. She finally finds Jax and starts to move on, and he comes back. Now he’s everywhere. Coincidence? I think not.”

  “Are you finished yet?” I asked her, sounding bored. Jenna nodded solemnly. “I don’t think that Iain knew I worked for Jamie. I certainly didn’t know they were related, and Jamie certainly didn’t know that Iain and I knew each other. I do think that it was a whole fucked up coincidence.”

  “As for him showing up on our doorstep and sticking his tongue down your throat?” Jenna asked innocently. I glared at her, resenting the fact that she was all but forcing me to open up to Crimson.

  “He showed up to tell me something after Andrew attacked me. He saw my face and when I told him who did it, he got all emotional. He was there when that shit with Andrew went down in North Bay. The kiss just…happened. I pushed him away. Jax knows,” I added, for Crimson’s benefit.

  “Weird, isn’t it?” Jenna remarked, also looking at Crimson.

  “What happened in North Bay with Andrew?” Crimson inquired, looking back and forth between Jenna and me. Her head was rotating so quickly, trying to keep up with the conversation.