Sinful

by Joan Johnston

  He shook hands with Connor, then with Eve, and when Brooke lifted her hand, he shook hands with the little girl, and finally, of course, with Sawyer, who didn’t want to be left out.

  “Where are you folks headed now?” the magistrate asked.

  “Back home,” Connor said.

  “To the Lucky 7?” the magistrate asked. “Or to Kingdom Come?”

  “To my ranch,” Connor said. “Safe Haven.”

  “It seems a shame not to celebrate in town first,” the magistrate said. “Or maybe with your families?” He looked from Connor to Eve and back again.

  With no one from either of their families present at the simple ceremony, the magistrate was obviously fishing for information about whether either of their fathers knew what they’d just done. Connor wasn’t about to satisfy the old man’s curiosity, not after all the times the magistrate had ordered him to perform a hundred hours of community service.

  The truth was they hadn’t told either parent they were getting married today. After their visits yesterday, Angus and King knew their children intended to wed. He and Eve had thought it better to present their fathers with a fait accompli.

  “Oh, I nearly forgot,” the magistrate said with an impish grin. “You may kiss your bride.”

  Connor was caught off guard. He set Sawyer down, then turned to Eve, who looked vulnerable and afraid. As he leaned forward, her eyes slid closed. He hesitated a breath away from her lips, his heart full of emotion.

  “Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!”

  Connor was startled into lifting his head. He stared at his daughter, who was laughing and clapping her hands. The chant was something Brooke used to do when he’d teased Molly before kissing her. The shocking reminder of his first wife at his second wedding was like a punch in the gut.

  Sawyer picked up Brooke’s chant, which had gotten louder, and Connor realized that the only way to get them to stop was to kiss his bride.

  He took his time. He owed Eve that.

  He captured her face between his hands, feeling the warm flush in her cheeks with his fingertips. He somehow knew it was bashfulness rather than reluctance that made his new wife lower her gaze. He pressed his lips against Eve’s and felt them trembling. He slid one hand around her nape, holding her captive as he deepened the kiss. She leaned into him, surrending to his desire, and he suddenly envisioned a world of possibilities in their life together.

  He felt a sharp jerk on his jeans, followed by Sawyer’s demand, “Time for pizza, Daddy.” Connor broke the kiss reluctantly and searched Eve’s face to see how she was faring after this strange wedding. He felt his heart jump when he saw a look that felt like love in her eyes. It was gone an instant later, and he wondered if he’d imagined it.

  “Daddy!” Sawyer said insistently. “Pizza!”

  Eve looked away first. She dropped to one knee, gave Sawyer a hug, and laughed as she yelled, “Pizza!”

  Sawyer chortled and hugged her around the neck as she picked him up.

  It had been Eve’s idea to bribe Sawyer by promising him that if he was quiet during the brief ceremony he’d be rewarded with pepperoni pizza, which would serve as their wedding dinner.

  Connor thought back to his first wedding, from the elaborate floral decorations in the church, to Molly’s exquisite white dress and veil and her cascading bouquet of lilies, to the lengthy Catholic wedding ceremony, and finally to the outdoor barbecue and dance for five hundred guests.

  If he didn’t have the marriage license tucked in his pocket, Connor could almost believe they’d appeared before the magistrate this afternoon for stealing antlers from one of the arches that decorated the four corners of the town square.

  He was wearing jeans, a white western shirt, and cowboy boots. So was Eve. Brooke was holding the only flowers in the room, which they’d picked from around the porch this morning before they’d gotten into his pickup to drive to town. They’d exchanged no rings. Two children dressed in play clothes had been their only attendants as they said their vows, and they were about to eat pizza as a wedding supper.

  What was wrong with this picture?

  Connor studied Eve looking for signs of dissatisfaction. She was smiling, her eyes crinkled at the corners, as she ushered the kids out of the magistrate’s office. He couldn’t imagine any other woman he knew, certainly not Molly, agreeing to marry him without all the usual bells and whistles. And yet, Eve had. Didn’t all girls dream of their wedding day and imagine a thousand ways they could make it dazzling?

  Five minutes later, as they settled at one of the tables at Mountain High Pizza Pie, the kids busy with coloring books that Eve had thoughtfully brought along, Connor leaned over and asked quietly, “Are you okay?”

  She angled her head as though he’d asked a peculiar question. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “You didn’t find that wedding…odd?”

  “Different, certainly,” she agreed. “But I loved the simplicity of it. Didn’t you?”

  “Of course. But I feel like you got cheated.”

  She laughed. “Cheated of all those agonizing weeks of planning and all that last-minute panic worrying that everything wasn’t perfect? Thanks, but no thanks. I like the way we did it.”

  “We don’t have a single picture of our wedding,” he said, appalled at the oversight.

  “I have my cell phone with me. Want to come over here and take a selfie with me?” she said with a grin.

  “You’re really okay with this, aren’t you?”

  She nodded, and then sobered. “It would have felt strange if we’d had a fancy wedding. How could I top the beautiful wedding you and Molly had?”

  It dawned on him that she’d been there as Molly’s maid of honor. Eve would have gone through all the angst of planning the thing with Molly in the three weeks between his proposal and his return to Afghanistan and been a part of all the frantic preparations for a last-minute barbecue for five hundred of their parents’ closest friends and acquaintances.

  “This was nice.” She rubbed her bare ring finger and added, “I would like to have a ring, but there’s no rush.”

  “What kind of ring do you want?”

  “Something I can wear when I’m running around in the wilderness.”

  “Taking pictures of mustangs?”

  “That, too,” she said. “Do you want a new ring? Or do you want to keep that one?”

  Connor realized he was still wearing his original wedding ring, a plain gold band he’d worn constantly since the day he was married and hadn’t taken off after Molly’s death. It was almost like another part of him. He brushed the underside of the band with his thumb, something he’d often done when he was away from home that made him feel closer to Molly. “Do you mind that I’m still wearing it?”

  She laid her ringless left hand over his. “That ring has sentimental value for me, too. I was with Molly when she picked it out. I remember how happy and excited she was to be marrying you.” She glanced at Brooke and Sawyer. “Molly will always be a part of our lives. I think it’s wonderful that you don’t want to take it off.”

  Connor made up his mind then and there to find the perfect ring for Eve and to put it on her hand so she was wearing it when she took off for Nevada. Maybe it would remind her that he was waiting for her to return.

  The pizza was delicious, but it added to the surreal feeling of their bizarre wedding day. He was the one who’d set this strange day in motion with his suggestion of a “marriage of convenience.” He hadn’t realized it would also result in such a “convenient marriage.”

  Connor could see nothing in Eve’s demeanor that suggested she had any regrets, but he couldn’t help wondering if she would be sorry later that they hadn’t made their wedding more special. He smiled to himself. It had been a memorable day, if for no other reason than the fact that they’d skipped all the traditional ways to celebrate. He wondered if they were going to forgo the wedding night, too.

  He eyed Eve and realized he didn’t want to do that.
He wanted to make love to his wife. Last night had only given him a taste of what was in store. He didn’t want to fall any deeper in love with her when they didn’t know whether they had a future together. But he couldn’t help hoping that Eve would be willing to make their wedding night an occasion worth remembering.

  Out of the blue, Brooke asked Eve, “Are you my mother now, Aunt Eve?”

  Eve shot him a startled look before answering, “Do you want me to be your mother?”

  Brooke pulled a slice of pepperoni off her pizza, popped it into her mouth, and began chewing as she answered, “I guess so.”

  “Then the first thing I have to say to you, young lady, is chew with your mouth closed!”

  Brooke’s mouth dropped open in surprise and then snapped shut as she chewed vigorously, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks puffed out by her smile. After she’d swallowed, she said, “Mommy used to say that all the time.”

  Eve brushed Brooke’s bangs off her forehead in what Connor realized was a caress. “I know, sweetheart. Your mom was very nice and very wise. I hope I can be even half as good a mother to you as she was.”

  “Are you gonna be my mommy, too?” Sawyer asked.

  “You bet,” Eve said, shoving the wayward lock of hair off his forehead with another fond caress.

  “Now do Daddy’s hair,” Brooke said.

  Eve stared at the little girl in disbelief, then glanced at Connor.

  “Go ahead,” he said with a grin.

  She reached out tentatively, and he felt the soft brush of her fingertips across the scar on his forehead.

  “Now you do Aunt Eve,” Brooke said to him.

  Eve’s bangs were long, so he settled for tucking them behind one ear, feeling her shiver slightly before he removed his hand. When he looked into her eyes, he saw that her pupils were dilated and her skin was flushed.

  Connor felt his heart knocking against his ribs. The sooner he got the kids home and tucked into bed, the sooner he could begin the seduction of his bride. He jumped up from the table and announced, “Time to go home.”

  “You said we could go to the movies,” Brooke reminded him.

  “When did I say that?”

  “You said if I was good—”

  “I remember now.” Sawyer’s bribe was pizza. Brooke had insisted on the latest cartoon movie. “All right. Let’s go.” It was the sing-along version, where the audience joined the on-screen characters in belting out the songs. Connor had pretty much learned the words to the theme song, since Brooke sang it endlessly.

  He met Eve’s gaze over Brooke’s and Sawyer’s heads, wondering if she felt any of the growing anticipation he felt as their wedding day wore on. He wondered if she was also looking forward to the moment when the children were asleep and they would finally be alone together as husband and wife. Their wedding day might be spent in ordinary ways, he thought, but there was no reason they couldn’t have an extraordinary wedding night.

  Chapter 18

  EVE COULDN’T REMEMBER when she’d enjoyed a day more, even though she’d spent most of it wondering about the night to come. Would Connor want to make love to her? Was she willing to make love to him, even though he wasn’t in love with her? They’d come very close to having sex last night, and all day she’d carried the feeling with her of something important left unfinished.

  The children were a welcome distraction, fun and funny, especially during the movie sing-along. She’d been enchanted when Connor, who knew all the words to Brooke’s favorite song, joined in.

  By the time the children got fussy, they were already on their way home. She and Connor gave them their baths and put them right to bed. The copy of Are You My Mother? had been found, and Eve read that to Brooke, while Connor read Horton Hears a Who! to Sawyer.

  When Eve left Brooke’s room she found Connor waiting for her in the hallway.

  “How about a glass of champagne?” he said.

  “I’d like that.” Eve felt a frisson roll down her spine at the suggestion of what more might be in store on her wedding day: a wedding night. She followed Connor into the kitchen, but he said, “Make yourself comfortable on the couch.”

  She was too nervous to sit. She crossed to the fireplace and held out her hands to warm them. Except, she wasn’t the least bit cold. In fact, she felt warm all over. She wanted to be held and loved by Connor. She wanted to hold him and love him back. But she hadn’t forgotten what had happened the first time they’d kissed. She hadn’t forgotten their aborted lovemaking last night. She wondered if they could really get through their wedding night without Molly somehow ending up in bed between them.

  Eve was still standing by the flickering fire, which provided the only light in the living room, when Connor held out a flute of champagne. She took it and turned to face him. His hooded eyes gleamed in the firelight, and his lips were full. She felt her heartbeat ratchet up as she recognized the signs of desire.

  “To second chances,” he said.

  She clinked glasses with him and drank, laughing when the bubbles tickled her nose. Connor’s toast reminded Eve that she didn’t want to make the same mistake again. She had a better chance of getting what she wanted if she reached for it with both hands. If she wanted Connor to make love to her, she had to let him know it.

  Before she could say a word, Connor captured her nape and drew her close. His tongue slid along the seam of her mouth seeking entrance, and she opened to him, feeling her blood surge as desire blossomed. Eve smiled as she tasted buttered popcorn and champagne. He still smelled faintly of the woodsy aftershave he’d put on earlier in the day and another scent that was very male and recognizably Connor.

  He broke the kiss to set his glass on the mantel, then took her glass and set it beside his. “All day long I’ve wanted to hold you.” His strong arms closed around her until her breasts were pressed against his muscular chest and her hips were cradled against the length and hardness of him.

  Eve had enjoyed sex in the past, but she’d never made love to a man she loved. She’d been curious enough to try sex to see what it was like, and smart enough not to keep having sex just because she could. She’d been waiting for this moment. Waiting for Connor.

  She took his hand and said, “Come with me.”

  He followed her readily enough, but when they arrived at his bedroom door he stopped. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

  There was no way he could know how long she’d been waiting for this moment. She smiled as she said, “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.” She laughed in surprise when he picked her up, and she held on tight as they entered his bedroom. Connor hadn’t carried her over the threshold when they returned home after their wedding, but transporting her to his bed was equally reminiscent of those long-ago stolen brides brought home by the warriors who’d won them in battle.

  When Connor set her down, Eve realized he must have come here to prepare the room while she was dressing Brooke for bed. The covers had been carefully turned down. A pine-scented candle burned on the chest across from the bed, and a sprig of mountain columbine rested between the pillows.

  Eve felt her heart wrench with gratitude. “This is lovely, Connor. Thank you.”

  A flush rose under his skin. “I wanted something about this day to be special for you, Eve.”

  “I loved my wedding day.” She met his gaze. “And I’m very much looking forward to my wedding night.”

  As Connor took her in his arms, she slid her hands into his hair, loving the softness of it. He took his time. Kissing her temples. Kissing her closed eyes. Kissing her cheeks. And finally kissing first one edge of her mouth, and then the other. Eve’s heart was pounding, and her body was tensed in expectation.

  He brushed the callused pad of his thumb over her lips, and Eve opened her mouth slightly in response. A moment later, his mouth claimed hers. Their tongues parried as they tasted one another, and Eve’s body came alive as Connor palmed a breast and then teased her nipple into a hard bud. She expl
ored the strength in his shoulders and arms, loving the feel of muscle and sinew under her fingertips.

  She could hardly believe where she was, what she was doing, who she was doing it with. She felt a kind of euphoria she could never have imagined, knowing Connor wanted her. At the same time, there was a knot of fear in her belly that something would break the spell, and her dream of happiness with him would end before it had even begun.

  “I want to see you,” he rasped.

  Connor undid the buttons on her shirt, while she returned the favor. She tugged his shirt out of his jeans as he did the same for her. His shirt had the sleeves rolled up, so it came off without a problem. She was imprisoned for a few moments by her sleeves, but she held her wrists up, forcing a wobbly smile as he undid the buttons, holding her breath as her shirt slid to the floor.

  She’d worn jeans instead of a wedding dress for the ceremony, but Eve had been aware this moment might come. She stood before her new husband in a white demi-cup bra that lifted her breasts up like a delectable feast. A wave of pleasure washed through her when Connor’s eyes lit with desire. He cupped her breasts in both hands and leaned down to kiss the crest of each one before he reached for the snap on her jeans.

  White bikini underwear trimmed in feminine lace appeared as her zipper came down. Eve was having trouble catching her breath. Having trouble keeping her heart from beating right out of her chest. She was excited. And terrified.

  What if she didn’t please him? What if he compared her to Molly and found her wanting?

  Eve stood there trembling, afraid to move forward, unwilling to move back, her jeans caught on her hips, as Connor unbuckled his belt and pulled it through the loops, then reached for the snap on his jeans. The sound his zipper made as it came down sent a shiver of expectation rushing the length of her spine.

  Connor chuckled as he stared down at his Levi’s, which had pooled atop his cowboy boots. “Okay. We can do this the hard way or the easy way.”

  “What?”

  He was laughing as he said, “My jeans aren’t coming off until I get out of these boots. Neither are yours. Any suggestions?”