Finding Our Way

by Ahren Sanders

  I unlatch my legs and scrambled to get down, adjusting my dress. Heat fills Bryce’s eyes as Quinn burst into laughter. She bends over holding her stomach, which makes me giggle too. He looks between us like we’re crazy then tugs us both off the dance floor to our sectioned area. The booths are mostly empty but the tables are set up with champagne chilling.

  “Okay, I’m long overdue for a proper greeting.” Quinn stretches her arms and Bryce hugs her tight, kissing her briefly on the cheek.

  “It’s been a long time, Quinn. Good to see you.”

  “You too. When did you become so hot?”

  “Quinn!” Heat creeps up my cheeks.

  “Seriously, he’s fucking built. Tell me, Bryce, do you have a six-pack, or an eight pack?”

  I cringe from humiliation and slink into the booth.

  “I’ll let Devon answer that for you.” He winks and sits close, pulling me into his lap.

  “No way! She can’t be a proper wingman, wrapped up in your arms. It just doesn’t work.” She shakes her finger at us, clearly not approving of our embrace.

  “Her duties are over tonight.”

  “Devon,” she whines begging with her eyes.

  Bryce’s grip on my hip gets tighter and I throw my head back and laugh. “Quinn, you don’t need me. The guy in the navy sweater is practically panting.” I point to the guy at the bar staring at her.

  She glances and then smiles back at me, winking. “Okay, see you two later.” She waves slightly and walks to the bar.

  When she’s gone, I turn my attention back to Bryce. His intense stare sends a chill down my body.

  “I can’t believe you’re here.”

  “I couldn’t stay away. It was hard enough dropping you off at the airport with no definite plans to see you again. But when you started crying, it broke me. I made arrangements that day.”

  “When did you get here?”

  “Earlier today. I came to the game, although I can’t tell you anything about it. My eyes were on you the whole time.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I wanted to surprise you.”

  “How’d you find me?”

  “Babe, I’ll always find you. But this was easy. Your mom gave me your hotel information. Finding you in this bar was luck. I followed some of your friends I saw in the lobby. I tried to get to your room before you left, but didn’t make it in time. When I called you earlier, my cab was stuck in a traffic jam. Getting to you tonight was a little harder because of the line but the bouncer is former Navy. He let me in when I explained the situation.”

  “How long are you here?”

  “Two days, the same as you.”

  “I can’t believe you did this.”

  “I’d do anything for you. But we need to talk about that deflection strategy I mentioned before. Having other men ogle you is out of my control. But you need to figure out a way to deter them. Poor guy tonight looked like I pissed in his cheerios when I tapped on his shoulder and told him to move.”

  “You’re very possessive.”

  “When it comes to you, I’ll do what it takes.”

  The sincerity in his voice causes my heart to swell and I lean in, soaking in his closeness. Our lips touch delicately at first, teasing each other. But as soon as I nip at his bottom lip, he groans and takes over. Our tongues dance in rhythm. His hands tangle in my hair, gripping my scalp tight, holding me close. I can feel his heartbeat against my chest, racing. In this moment, it is only us. The pumping of the music is silenced, the strobe lights disappear, vibrations from the dancing around us still.

  The kiss consumes us, confirming what I already know. Bryce Randolph is still the man of my dreams. Heat pools at my core and I cross my legs tightly to try and control the pulsing need. My movement rubs me against his bulging erection, which sends a shock through my body. He stills but I continue squirming in his lap.

  He pulls back slightly, pecking and nipping my swollen lips. “You have to stop.”

  “Why?” I ask breathlessly.

  “Because there are certain things a man prides himself on and you’re testing me.”

  “How am I testing you?”

  His eyes meet mine and they soften. “God I love your innocence. You’re testing me because it’s not cool to blow my load in my pants, which is what was going to happen if you kept grinding against me.”

  A giggle escapes and I slowly rotate my hips on his lap one more time. “I’m not that innocent, Bryce.”

  “He’s not going to make the loser list is he?” Quinn interrupts us smirking.

  “Not tonight,” I answer her and try to hold a serious expression, but it’s useless. Bryce’s chest shakes against my back until he can’t hold it in, laughing out loud. We join until tears stream down my cheeks. The guy to Quinn’s right watches us with a grin on his face, clearly amused at our inside joke.

  Once we compose ourselves, she introduces ‘Dean’ to us and we all shake hands. They join us as I pour everyone a glass of champagne. The conversation is light, and easy until the lights flash, indicating five minutes to midnight. We take our drinks and join the crowd at the edge of the dance floor, watching the celebration in Times Square on the large screens around the room. Once the countdown starts, Bryce pulls my back to him and nuzzles the sensitive spot below my ear. I lose concentration and forget to actually cheer as the clock strikes midnight and balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling. His hands twist my hips until we’re facing and he captures my mouth in a scorching kiss.

  We pull apart when Quinn taps us on the shoulder and clears her throat loudly. She smiles at both of us and we clink glasses, downing the champagne in one gulp.

  “Okay, now it’s time to party.” She raises her arms in the air and motions to the waitress, who is carrying a tray of shots.

  “Babe? How long do we need to stay? I’d like to have a private celebration.” Bryce murmurs.

  “I can’t leave Quinn. Never leave a woman behind.”

  “She’s primed to go. We could be here all night.”

  “I’ll give her a curfew. Can you handle a few hours?

  “You gonna dance with me?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Then yeah, I can deal. We’ll find a way for you to make it up to me.”

  “Where are you staying?”

  A sly grin slides across his face. “Same hotel, one floor up. As soon as we get back tonight, I want you moving your stuff into my room.”

  “Absolutely.”

  His smile widens and he leans in close, “No parents in the house with us, no sneaking out early in the morning, you and me with no interruptions. How does that sound?”

  Desire floods my body and when our gazes meet, he sees it. His hands reaches for mine and leads me to the crowded dance floor.

  Chapter 6

  Sunshine warms my face and I crack open one eye, blinded by brightness. Swift movement shakes the bed slightly and then the room is bathed in darkness again. Strong arms slide around my waist and Bryce situates himself against my back. His breathing evens out indicating he’s fallen back asleep.

  My mind replays through the events of last night. We finally talked Quinn into leaving around two am. Bryce helped pack my bags and I followed him to his room. Once we got here, I changed into my pajamas, washed my face and gave myself a pep talk. Bryce hadn’t pressured me at all, but anticipation burned through me. I’m not entirely inexperienced, but I also don’t have a great track record—hence the loser list.

  When I walked out of the bathroom, Bryce had changed into athletic shorts and was waiting for me on the balcony. I gasped at the sight of him. It had been a long time since I’d seen him shirtless, but nothing could have prepared me. Moonlight spread across the small space, allowing me to see every ridge and plane that contoured his stomach, chest and shoulders. His biceps bulged as he braced himself against the railing.

  “Hi,” my voice was barely audible.

  His eyes raked over my simple shorts and ta
nk and he pushed back stalking to me.

  “Hi yourself.”

  Without asking, I ran my hands over every inch of exposed skin, stopping at his waist. His breath hitched a few times but he never stopped me. His hand cupped under my chin and he lifted my face to his, kissing me sweetly and softly. After a few minutes, he sat us down facing the ocean. I leaned into him, settling my head against his chest, listening to the beat of his heart. When I fell asleep, he brought me to bed and tucked me in tight, joining me a few minutes later and pulling me close.

  I slept soundly until that sliver of light hit me this morning. Quietly rolling away from him, I go to the bathroom. Once my teeth are brushed and face washed, I check my phone for any missed calls or messages. My parents sent a quick note saying Happy New Year’s but nothing else.

  When I open the bathroom door, Bryce is propped on the pillows with his hands linked behind his head. His eyes rake over me causing a shudder. We look at each other for a minute before I make my way back to the bed and curl into him, settling in the crevice of his shoulder. My lips touch his neck and I nip lightly before wrapping my arms around him.

  “Good morning.”

  “Babe?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Look at me.”

  I look into his deep blue eyes, which have turned the shade of sapphire and all my nerves relax. We both smile before he kisses me lightly and moves me on top of him. There’s no way to ignore the bulge that hits my hip and I roll into him.

  “Devon,” he groans.

  “What? I can’t help it.”

  “Try.”

  “Sorry.” I try to roll away, but he holds me in place.

  “Never be sorry with me. Ever. I’m the one who will spend the rest of my life wondering what could have happened If I’d have spoken up.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I may have told you the last two weeks how much you mean to me. But it fucking tears me up the time we lost. I’m thrilled with the life you have and the accomplishments you’ve made. But I have so much regret it kills me.”

  “How can we get past it?”

  “I need to know you forgive me, really forgive me. See where I was coming from and know I was thinking about what was best for you.”

  I want to quit this back and forth and in my mind, I know there’s only one way to let go. “Then we need to talk about what happened. All of it, including my heartbreak. I’ve heard your story, but you need to hear mine too. The good, the bad, the ugly. My road to healing was filled with mistakes and stupidity.”

  His body tightens but he nods and leans into me for a kiss.

  “This is it, sweet girl, after today we let it go. I hear you out—listen to what I already suspect. You got it?”

  “Yeah,” I whisper.

  “I already told you I have a plan and you are one hundred percent a part of it. When we leave Miami, we’re a couple, a team. We move past everything. Can you do that?”

  “Can you?”

  “Devon, I already have. If I thought it was right, you’d be naked underneath me screaming my name. But I’m not ready for that until you promise you’re okay.”

  His words send a rush of heat through me and I push into his hips, which cause a guttural groan.

  “Baby, you have to stop. I can’t take it.”

  “Why do you want me to stop? Isn’t a sexual relationship just as important as an emotional one?”

  “Yeah, but I already know we’ll be off the charts. I’m trying to do the right thing.”

  “For who?”

  “For us. I need to know how deep the emotional wounds go, for both of us. Tell me what you think I need to know.”

  I sigh but open the floodgates. Telling him everything. Going back to the day of my graduation until the day I saw him on the plane. I tell him about my failed dates, the guys I semi-crushed on and the moments of weakness I would bring out pictures of all us growing up. Several times he squeezes me against him, almost too tight, but I don’t stop him.

  A part of me is disappointed with myself for being so open, so trusting. But I’ve always been an open book. No need holding back now. Even if he leaves and screws me over again, I’ll know he heard the truth.

  When I’m done, a weight is lifted off my shoulders, but he’s tight and unreadable. His relaxed demeanor disappears and is replaced with tension.

  “Bryce?”

  “Give me a minute. I’m trying to find a way not to kick my own ass and at the same time reel in my emotions.”

  We stay silent and guilt starts to bubble up. He already had a few shitty years, how dare I unload on him so insensitively?

  “I’m sorry, I should have been more—”

  “I told you to never be sorry with me. I’m a fucking shithead. Your pain guts me.”

  “I was young and in love with a fairytale—”

  “You’ll get your fairytale.”

  “I’m still young, Bryce, I have some growing to do.”

  “And you’ll do it with me.”

  “How can you be so certain? You have a lot ahead of you. Officer Candidate School, training, who knows what else… You don’t need to make empty promises.”

  “Devon Marie Harris, my promises to you will never be empty. How about you? Are you ready to give up the ever growing loser list?”

  “Yes, but swear to God, you better not screw around on me. If you ever think we’re not working, tell me.”

  “Is that what you’re scared of? Me screwing around?”

  “Well, yeah.”

  “You have absolutely no reason in the world to ever worry. Thought I told you that leaving Aspen. I may be an asshole, but I’m not a cheater. And for the first time in my life, everything I need is right here. Seriously, I’m crazy about you.”

  “Ummhmm, sweet talker. We’ll see.” I cuddle my head into his shoulder and close my eyes ready to fall back asleep.

  The shrill sound of Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off” fills the room and I jump, almost falling off the bed. Bryce catches me with a smirk on his face. Thoughts of strangling Quinn come to mind for putting that as her ring tone.

  “What?” I shout.

  “No need to shout. Are you and loverboy up?”

  “Yes, I was actually about to fall back asleep. What’s up?” I yawn.

  “No sleep. We’re going to the beach. Meet me in the room in twenty minutes.”

  “Quinn…I’m so tired,” I whine.

  “Bitch, suck it up. Bring your mancandy along. Dean is meeting us down there.”

  “Okay, we’ll see you there. But promise me you’ll never refer to Bryce as mancandy again. It freaks me out.”

  “Wear the blue bikini and I’ll think about not embarrassing you.” She hangs up

  Bryce walks up and opens the drapes, exposing the view of the ocean and shoreline.

  “We going to the beach?” he questions.

  “Yeah, looks like it.”

  “Any chance you packed a one piece or full body suit?”

  “No, it’s a nude beach.” I watch his face turn from tan to red to almost purple before I hunch over laughing. “Just kidding! “

  “You’ll pay for that.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  ~~~~~

  The beach is already crowded when we walk down, but we’re able to get the last cabana. Bryce’s eyes grow wide when I remove my cover up, but he doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head. Dean and he decide to join in a game of beach volleyball, but before he leaves, he lifts me up and gives me a long, deep, kiss. I lose myself in him and forget we are on a public beach.

  “That should do until I get back.” He pecks my forehead and leaves me in a daze.

  “Thank God! I’ve been dying to get you alone since he surprised you in the bar last night. Time to spill.” Quinn cocks one eyebrow at me and I tell her everything.

  “Jesus, less than three weeks ago, I left you in an airport on the way to a family Christmas. Now you have a boyfriend who is planning a �
�long term strategy’? How the hell does this happen. Not to mention, it’s the same guy you’ve been in love with since you were in middle school.”

  “Not sure how it happened, but I’m not questioning it.”

  “No, but what happens now?”

  “We go back to school and finish the semester. Maybe I can go home, or have Bryce come to Virginia for spring break.”

  “Are you going to be okay with the distance?”

  “I have no choice. If I want to be with him, that’s the trade off.”

  “What about after he and Nate graduate?”

  “That’s where things get a little shady. They’ll both have to go to Officer Candidate School in Rhode Island for at least twelve weeks. After that, I don’t know.”

  “I think it’s safe to say he’s into you Devon, deep. OCS won’t change that. So can we discuss something serious?”

  “Of course.” I look at her nervously.

  “If this thing heads down the aisle, promise me you won’t make me wear a pink bridesmaid dress. Actually no pastels at all.”

  “Quinn! That’s your serious discussion? You’re insane. A little soon to talk about that. Besides, I’m only nineteen.”

  “Yes, but you’ll be twenty soon. Your parents got married young.”

  “Stop, we aren’t talking about this. At all. Jinxing it before it even has a chance to start.”

  “Okay, but I reserve the right to bring it up again when I think things are that serious.”

  “Fine!” I huff and roll over. Her chuckle irritates me but I smile as I doze off.

  Cold water dripping down my arm wakes me. The cabana bed dips and I roll into a rock hard, wet body.

  “Bryce! What are you doing?”

  “Staking claim.” His arm slips under my waist and he pulls me half on top of him.

  “We’re at the beach, in public.”

  “I know.” He kisses along my jawline.

  “There’s a question I’ve been dying to ask, but it’s really rude.”

  “Try me?”

  “How did you afford all this? The flight to Colorado, the flight here, the ocean front room?”

  “I’ve got a decent savings account. The Navy Reserves pays a little and I’ve been doing some work in Knoxville. Bouncing at a bar a few nights a week.”