RUTHLESS: The Complete Rockstar Romance Series Boxed Set

by Vivian Lux

  Terror.

  Terror froze my fingers. The clunking, discordant sound the guitar made was enough to make Jane's eyes go momentarily wide. Heat flamed across my skin, anger and embarrassment and irrational resentment. What the fuck was Piper playing at, putting me on the spot like this? I never asked to be in the spotlight. I never wanted to have everyone staring at me like this, wincing as I missed chord after chord in an avalanche of cascading failure for all the fucking world to see...

  I yanked the strap off my shoulder and threw the guitar to the ground. Piper stood up and shouted something, her face a mask of concerned pity that I didn't fucking want. I didn't want any of this. I whirled on my heels and ran off the stage.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Piper

  I was up and running before the song even ended. There wasn't far for him to run, and I knew this place from playing here before. There was no way he was getting away from me, but he was trying like hell anyway.

  It was only the last-minute intervention of a security guard that prevented him from running right the hell out of the club. I grabbed his arm, yanking him back inside. "Hey!" I panted. "What the fuck happened out there?"

  He whirled on me and I shrank back from the terrible look on his face. He was red-faced and puffing angrily, pacing like Keir. "I fucking fucked up," he hissed, barely audible over the noise of the confused crowd.

  In the background, I could make out the sound of Rane covering for us, laughing with Low as they kicked into an impromptu jam... one that didn't require keyboards. The crowd whooped and I let out a sigh of relief. "Come with me," I told True, turning to head to the green room area backstage where we could talk without shouting.

  But when I looked back, he was still standing there.

  My temper flared. "So you fucked up, so what?" I said, waving my hand. "Nobody noticed."

  "I noticed," he growled.

  "For fuck's sake, can we go somewhere where I don't have to yell in your face?" I exploded.

  When he didn't immediately move, I grabbed his hand and yanked him. It must have been the surprise that started him moving because I sure as fuck couldn't have moved him otherwise. He dragged his feet the whole fucking way down to the green room and I had to practically throw him in there before I shut the door behind us.

  He flicked his eyes upward. The crowd stomped and cheered in a muffled din above us. It was quiet enough to talk without yelling.

  But I still felt like fucking yelling.

  "Did you seriously just have a hissy fit about making a mistake?"

  "Don't start Piper."

  "Start what? What the fuck is going on with you?"

  "Nothing at all! Except, I fucked up. In front of a million people."

  I rolled my eyes. "True, there were like twenty-five hundred people there. It was tiny."

  He stared at his feet. "Didn't feel tiny."

  "It's a club show. It's supposed to be fun. I thought you'd have fun up there."

  "Yeah, you thought that huh? Without asking? Putting me on the spot so I can make a fool of myself?"

  I stepped back. How had this gone so wrong? "I was trying to do something nice!"

  "Yeah, well I don't need your charity! I don't need your help!"

  I tried to keep my voice even. "I don't think you need help, I was trying to do something nice."

  His eye flashed. "Well cut it out," he growled.

  I took a step back. I didn't need this shit. And I definitely didn't deserve it. I pressed my lips together and gave him the finger as I headed for the door. He let out a small barking laugh. Like he fucking expected me to do exactly this.

  I stopped in my tracks. "Wait," I said slowly. "No. I won't fucking cut it out." I stepped back into the room and waited for the familiar struggle to make words, but there was no stopping me from saying what I needed to say. "You're always doing shit for me and worrying about my damage," I told him. "But you? You've got damage you haven't even begun to deal with. No shame in truth, right? You say you won't apologize for who you are?" He blinked as I walked up to him and got right in his face. "Well neither will I! You want to be with me? Then you have to be all in." He turned in a tight circle before he faced me.

  "Fuck," he exhaled.

  "Yeah," I nodded. "All in. You can't pull back out of some stupid, misguided pride."

  But he wasn't finished talking. "I was an idiot for even thinking this would work," he said over me.

  A sick terror made my stomach drop like I was on a roller coaster. "The fuck are you talking about?"

  He clapped his hand on his forehead and then drew it down his face. "I always knew you were on some kind of different level. You're... well fuck you're you! You're a fucking rock star." He covered his mouth. "But that's not even it either," he said, drawing his lips down with his hand. "It's that when we were all playing together, I thought that maybe I could do what you guys do. Play my guitar and sing for people. But I'm a fuck up. I can't do this shit, you saw me. I fucking froze."

  "And?" I exploded, throwing up my hands. "So, you start over again! Get up and do it all over again tomorrow. Shit, True I've seen you play. You don't want to do what we do, you need to. So do it. Try again. Every day is a new start. Fuck it, every song is a new start. There's a million ways you can get past yourself over and over again." The last of my words dissolved into a frustrated shriek as I banged against his chest.

  He grabbed my wrists with a roar. "Stop it," he said.

  But I wasn't done yet.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  True

  She rained blows down on my chest unit I caught her up in my arms. "Stop it," I told her.

  Her eyes blazed. "So I'm going ask you one more time," she sneered. Her cheeks were pink and her hands vibrated with anger even as I held them pinned. Unshed tears shone in her eyes, but as undone as she was -- maybe as undone as I'd ever seen her -- I knew there was no way she'd let them fall. Even in my anger I knew that.

  "I'm going ask you once again and this is the last fucking time, because I'm not fucking around here," she said. "Are you with me?"

  My heartbeats seemed to stretch out into infinity, one beat, then two, so slow as I absorbed her question and what it meant.

  Was I with her?

  Of course I was.

  I was angry.

  But I was with her.

  Always.

  There was no question.

  I knew it without a doubt.

  But now, it seemed, I had to convince her.

  I opened my mouth, there was nothing more to say than "Yes. I'm with you."

  I reached out grabbed her around the waist.

  She gasped. And looked up at me, startled. For a second I worried that I was being too rough, but there was no holding back now. I was with her, and this was the way that I showed she was mine.

  "Yes, I'm with you," I repeated, catching her lip between my teeth. She inhaled sharply as I bit down, sucking her lip so that it would leave a mark, leave a bruise. I liked the idea of knowing that she would feel this.

  "And I'm yours," I growled, pulling her flush against me so that she could feel how hard I was. She let out a little yelp, but there was no fear in her eyes.

  There was only hunger.

  I backed her up, pressing her back against the wall and covered her mouth with mine. She kissed me back with everything, giving me everything I needed to feel like we could start again, in this moment. That I could share her with the world but still know that she was mine in the end.

  She moaned into my mouth, and reached down for my zipper, but I wrenched myself backwards and grabbed her hands, pinning them above her head. "If I'm yours," I said plunging my hand down below her waist band. "Then you're mine. Tit for tat, right? Everything equal."

  She gasped as my finger found her center, sliding upward and then down again. She was already so wet, so hot, so hungry for me. With a growl, I went to my knees, pulling her jeans down over her slim hips. I heard the seams pop as I yanked them away and
she stepped out from the well, yanking her T-shirt over her head and flinging her bra away in one smooth motion.

  She stood before me, brazenly, beautifully naked and completely unafraid.

  "Christ," I whispered, wrapping my arms around her waist, lifting her and turning around so that we both landed on the couch. I put my hand under her ass cheeks, lifting her up so that she was inverted at a forty-five-degree angle. With her knees up on my shoulders, I buried my face between her legs.

  She didn't hold back and I didn't want her to. She arched upward, grabbing the cushion behind her, her whole body lifting into me wanting -- not wanting, needing -- more. I swirled my tongue around her once, and then again, and then, needing to feel her from the inside as I worked my way up to her needy clit, I sank my fingers into that softness, loving the way she clenched around me, her whole body spasming as I drew her out again and again and again.

  With a cry, she flung herself upwards. I caught her around the waist, lifting her with one hand as she wrapped her arms around my neck. She kissed me as I freed myself, and shrieked into my mouth as she sank down onto my cock. I held her there, suspended like that, for as long as I could as she undulated her body against mine.

  "You're mine," I hissed, sinking my teeth into her shoulder as she ground herself against me.

  "You're mine," she gasped in reply as I pushed myself further inside of her. Her breath hitched. She crushed my waist in her thighs, rising up with a shriek. I met her right there, shouting her name.

  She clung to me tightly. "Shit," she whispered, her body quaking like a leaf. "Did we just have make-up sex?"

  I laughed and kissed her, hard. "I think that was the textbook definition, actually."

  She pulled back and looked me in the eye. Gently, I pulled myself free and lowered her down, but she still stood right in front of me, not taking her eyes off of mine. Her eyes darted back and forth across mine, like she was trying to read a book in a foreign language.

  I lifted my chin and let her look at me.

  Her fingers brushed under the bottom of my jaw, lifting my chin even higher. I bit my lip and then grinned, knowing what she was doing. "Are you trying to tell me to keep my chin up or something?" I asked.

  But she wasn't in the mood to laugh with me. "I don't want to ever see you defeated like that again, True. Every day is a new start. Every song is a new start. If one take sucks, scrap it and start it over again. That's what we do." She cupped my chin in her hand and pulled me down, resting her forehead on mine so I had no choice but to see how serious her eyes were.

  "You make music because you have to, not because it's what you're good at."

  I licked my lips.

  "You get good by playing and starting over and over again." Slowly, carefully, she stood on her tiptoes and brushed her lips over mine. "Kind of like how I have to work on being good at being with you." She grinned. "This take sucked. Wanna start over?"

  This woman. This beautiful, fierce, intelligent woman. I couldn't fucking believe she was mine. I stared at her in admiration. "All in?" I asked.

  She nodded. "All in. I won't run if you won't."

  I took her face between my hands and kissed her, hard and fierce. "I won't," I said.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Piper

  A week after the show, I woke up in True's trailer for the very first time.

  'No shame in the truth' seemed to be harder for him to apply to mixing his girlfriend and his living situation. It took me showing up in the middle of the night last night to finally convince him that I belonged wherever he was.

  "Don't be loud," he'd admonished me. "Rory'll hear." Then he clapped his hand over my mouth to muffle my cries.

  "You're a good daddy," I told him, grinning around his hand.

  He'd shuddered one more time and then moved his body around to hold me in his arms. "It's been a while since I've had to share this bed," he'd grumbled. "I forgot how small it is."

  Or at least that's what I thought he said. I was already asleep.

  But now, it was early morning and I had no idea where anything was in True's trailer.

  The first door I opened was filled with cleaning supplies. A closet. Of course.

  The second door I opened as softly as I could.

  But she was already awake.

  Shit.

  "Hi Rory," I whispered.

  She sat right up with her nightgown stretched around her knees. "Hi Miss Piper," she whispered back.

  I smiled. "Can you tell me where the bathroom is?

  She jumped right out of bed. "It's right over here!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

  "Shh," I reminded her. "Daddy is still asleep."

  Her eyes widened and she nodded pointing to the one door I hadn't tried yet.

  When I emerged, relieved, she stood there eagerly. "Want to see my room?" she asked, her voice a whispered shout.

  "Of course!" I said, charmed.

  She led me back to her room, which was, I noted with some fondness, bigger than the room True was sleeping in. It was hemmed in from all sides with clothes and toys, with only a small bare patch of pink-flowered rug in the center. It was there that Rory led me in a tight circle, pointing out each stuffed animal and naming them in an excited whisper. Once I was introduced to every single beloved toy, she turned and bounced on her toes. "Want to see my swings too? I can swing really high."

  "Sure," I said. Then I considered. "Maybe put some pants on first, though?

  She yanked yesterday's jeans up from a heap on the floor and pulled them on right underneath her nightgown. "Come on," she said, grabbing me by the finger. I caught the screen door before she could send it banging back into the doorframe.

  Sharp gravel bit my bare feet as I followed her around to the side yard. It was no bigger than a postage stamp, but it was lovingly cared for and safely ensconced behind a chain link fence.

  Rory had to stand on tiptoes to open the gate. "Here it is," she said. "I can swing all by myself, but you need to give me one push. Just one, okay, to get me started and I can do the rest myself."

  "Yes ma'am," I said, resisting the urge to salute. I gave her the one requested push, then stepped back to properly ooh and ah over how high she could go all by herself.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a pickup truck moving slowly through the development, as if the driver was lost or looking for something.

  There was something familiar about it, though I couldn't quite place it.

  "Look at me!" Rory shouted, and then bent backwards so that her hair swept the ground. I tensed for a second, before realizing that fierce little Rory had it all under control. Then I relaxed.

  Only to tense back up again to see a white Cavalier speeding right up behind the pickup. Before I could register anything, they both came screeching into the gravel drive, coming really close to the chain link fence I stood behind.

  Hot blood thudded in my veins. "Hey watch it!" I yelled at the unseen driver.

  I'd been in this situation before. Some I'd put myself in, some that had happened without my knowledge or consent, but I'd been here before. So I knew what to expect. Time would slow down, and with it would come that crystal clarity and the strength I needed to make sure that everything would work out.

  But that's not what happened at all.

  What happened instead was that I saw Johnny Banner emerge from the driver's seat and everything went red with rage. The man who'd tried to slip something into my drink, the one who True saved me from was right there in front of me. I'd dreamed of this kind of moment since I was five years old. A chance to fight back.

  Justice needed to be served and I was ready serve it.

  "What the fuck do you think you're doing here?" I yelled, charging through the gate and rushing right up under his nose.

  "You stupid frigid bitch, get out of my face." He looked over my shoulder and right at Rory. "Where's Daddy, huh?"

  "Leave her the hell alone!" I shouted, shoving him hard. I had to get him o
ut of here. He wanted to hurt True. I was going to defend True.

  "I said get out of my face!" Banner snarled and all at once a stinging pain brought me to my knees. He had my hair snarled in his greasy fingers. I yelped and pummeled his fists with my hands, but he only laughed and yanked harder, making me cry out in pain.

  "Daddy Banner, stop it!" Rory shouted. I tried to hold out my hands to ward her off, but she came hurtling though the gate like a pink-nightgowned comet and launched herself onto Banner's back.

  "Aurora June, you get back, right now!" a female voice shouted. Through my watering eyes, I saw a blonde woman emerge from the Cavalier. Her hair was the exact same shade as Rory's and I vaguely recognized her from True's open mic night. I knew I was looking at her mother even before Rory snapped to attention at the note of authority.

  Then the screen door banged open. "Piper!" True shouted, desperate. "Rory! Where are you?" He came around the corner and stopped short.

  Banner's hand eased its grip and I sank to the gravel on my knees. My eyes stung and watered badly, but I could still see the shape of Banner's fist as he raised it in True's direction.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  True

  My daughter's piercing scream sent me hurtling out of a sound sleep and right out the front door.

  I was moving too fast. I couldn't take it in all at once. Just flashes of Johnny Banner with his hand snarled in the hair of the woman I loved while my daughter, the little fighter that she was, smacked him over and over again, shouting at the top of her lungs.

  And my ex-wife standing there, wide-eyed and terrified.

  Johnny saw me and let go of Piper. I breathed a quick sigh of relief, only to watch as his raised his fists in challenge.

  I lifted my chin and cracked my knuckles, nodding. There was nothing do but fight. Right?

  Except...

  This had to stop. And I had to stop it.

  "Well good morning," I shouted, as loud as I could and deliberately lowered my hands. "Rory honey?" I called, wanting to get her away from this. "Run inside and get Daddy a shirt, please."