First Time Lucky
Page 26
“You could have had any number of women give you a baby. I’m sure they’re lining up for you wherever you live. You didn’t need to pick one that was being hunted down by the most dangerous gang in all of Nevada.”
“I want you.”
“It doesn’t make any sense. If you wanted a child, you should have chosen someone safer.”
“I choose you. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”
I looked at him, looked into his eyes, trying to read their meaning. What was he saying to me? Was he just telling me what he thought I needed to hear? Was I just hearing what I wanted to hear to shield myself from this terrible situation? I didn’t want to be a fool. I didn’t want to be naive.
The waitress returned with our drinks.
“Are you ready to order?” she said.
Jackson looked at me. “You must be starving.”
“I am,” I said. I turned to the waitress. “Could I get the chili with a side of toast, a side of bacon, and a caesar salad.”
She looked over my thin frame, surprised I wanted to eat so much. “You want anchovies on the salad?”
I shook my head.
Jackson smiled. “Good girl,” he said, impressed I was willing to eat my fill in front of him. “I’ll have the steak and eggs, the steak medium, the eggs over easy.”
“Toast with that?”
“Toast and steak sauce.”
“Coming right up,” the waitress said and left.
When she was gone, I looked at Jackson. I was still reeling from what he’d said.
“You want me to have your baby?” I said again, incredulously.
He laughed. “That’s just the beginning.”
“How can that be just the beginning? What more could there possibly be?”
“You’ll see,” he said, giving me a sly wink. “You promised me everything, Faith. I intend to collect.”
“I bet,” I said, my heart pounding.
The truth was, whatever he wanted from me, I was willing to give. I wanted him to want me. I wanted to belong to him.
“And in return, I’ll give you the safety I promised.”
He looked at me meaningfully and in that terrible moment I realized what was going to happen. It wasn’t going to be a happy ending. He would go back to Los Lobos, take the fight to them, and die in the process. He would give me a baby, but he wouldn’t be around to raise it with me.
He smiled solemnly at me.
My eyes filled with tears.
“You don’t have to go back there,” I said.
He shook his head.
“It’s the only way.”
“No, it’s not. We have options. We could run together.”
He let out a mirthless laugh.
I didn’t feel like laughing.
“We can’t run, Faith. I’m not built that way.”
I shook my head. It was like a cruel trick of fate. Here I was, sitting with a man who’d just told me he wanted me to give him a child, and in the same breath, he wouldn’t be around to see it.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m so sorry for all of this.”
That was all I could say. I’d dragged him into this situation, and now he had to deal with it. He would throw his life at it, and it was all my fault. I’d been so desperate for help I hadn’t factored this into my thinking. I hadn’t realized the cost. I hadn’t thought of what the man who helped me would have to give up to buy my safety.
Los Lobos. They’d stop at nothing. Jackson knew it. I realized he must have known it the moment he set eyes on me at the motel.
It made my head spin.
“Don’t apologize,” he said. “I’m glad this happened.”
There was a look of resignation in his eyes, as if he’d always known the world would deal him a hand like this. There was also a steely strength in that look. I wanted desperately to believe that strength was enough to get him through this alive.
“I always wanted a girl like you, Faith. I didn’t know it until that day we met in Reno. Ever since, life hasn’t been the same. Now that I have you, I realize you’re what I’ve been searching for all these years.”
“Well, you’ve got me now, Jackson.”
“I do, but it’s a cruel victory. I have to leave you behind so soon.”
My eyes widened. I couldn’t bear it. He had to change his plan. He couldn’t leave me. I wouldn’t allow it.
“You don’t have to leave.”
“Yes. I do. Wolf Staten. Los Lobos. They’ll only get stronger. They’ll hunt us down like animals. The sooner, the better.”
“No,” I stammered. “Don’t do it.”
He shook his head. “I have to keep up my end of the bargain. I have to make you safe. That’s not going to happen unless I make it happen.”
“I’m begging you not to go back.”
“Wolf’s the leader of Los Lobos. I stole his woman. That doesn’t come without consequences.”
I was crying. I shook my head. Los Lobos had over a hundred members. They had chapters all around Reno.
“If you leave, I’ll never see you again.”
“Then whatever happens, we better make tonight count.”
I was desperate. I felt as if the world was ending.
“Jackson, you’ve already kept up your end of the bargain. You rescued me. You brought me here.”
Tears poured from my eyes. I felt as if I would die without him. I couldn’t let him leave. He had to stay.
“We made a promise to each other,” he said. “And I aim to keep my word.”
“We both kept our word already,” I said.
He shook his head.
“No we didn’t. Not yet. But we will.”
“You got me away from that motel. I gave myself to you.”
“That’s not the promise we made, Faith, and you know it.”
I looked into his eyes and knew he was right. The promise we’d made went deeper. Much deeper.
“You’ll keep your promise to me, even if you wish you’d never made it.”
“I’m glad I made it, Jackson.”
The waitress came with our food. I wiped the tears from my eyes. Jackson ordered apple pie for both of us. He said we’d need our strength for what was coming.
“I’m sorry, Jackson,” I said, when the waitress left.
He reached across the table and took my hands in his.
“I really wanted you, Faith Shepherd.”
“Don’t you have anyone we can turn to for help?”
He thought for a moment. “I have my brotherhood,” he said, “but I can’t drag them into this. This is our fight.”
“Jackson, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it would be this way.”
He looked into my eyes for a long time. When he spoke, I felt as if he was speaking to me from a great distance.
“I know,” he said.
I couldn’t eat. I felt ill. If Jackson rode out to face Los Lobos alone, they’d kill him.
“Tell me,” he said as he ate, “what’s Wolf Staten like?”
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to cry. I looked into Jackson’s face and all I could feel was guilt. I’d signed his death sentence.
“You know him.”
“I’ve done business with him. But what’s he like as a man?”
“He’s very intense,” I said. “Like you.”
“Was he good to you?”
“I thought he was at the beginning. That was two years ago. Then the beatings started. The cheating. He put me in compromising situations with his cronies. The final straw was when he decided to lock me away in a secret apartment in his compound.”
Jackson nodded. “I’m glad you got out,” he said. “You’re too good for a life like that, Faith. You’re too good for all of this.”
I looked into his eyes. I knew Jackson was a dangerous man in his own right. I knew he’d tasted blood. He’d said he was bad to the bone. He was violent, strong, could do what needed to be done. That didn’t make him
bad in my book. That made him a man, a real man.
“Don’t leave me,” I said quietly.
“I’m going to kill Wolf,” he said.
“Don’t say that.”
“I can make my peace with it, Faith. But you have to do what you promised.”
“I will, Jackson. I swear.”
“You’ll keep it tonight.”
Chapter 11
Jackson
The Brotherhood had a safe house in the hills beyond the desert. We used it from time to time to hide out. It was completely off the grid, had its own well, its own solar power, its own everything.
I took Faith there. Now that my death was near, her promise was the only thing that mattered.
“What is this place, Jackson?”
“Just somewhere safe.”
“Why don’t we stay here forever?”
I laughed. “I already told you, Faith. I don’t run. Not from anyone.”
I showed her around the house, a quaint adobe villa overlooking miles of desert valley. A spring fed a natural stream and trees shaded the veranda and garden. I knew she’d want to stay there with me.
Hell, I wanted to stay too, but I couldn’t. If I was going to hold her to her part of the promise, I had to keep mine too.
I showed her to the bathroom. “Freshen up,” I said. “Have a rest. I’ll be back in an hour.”
“Where are you going?”
“We need firewood. It gets cold up here at night. We’ll also need something for dinner.”
“I’ll come with you.”
She was scared I wouldn’t come back.
“Listen,” I said. “I’m not going to disappear, Faith. I’ll come back to you.”
“Oh,” she said, embarrassed.
“You said you’d be mine. I meant that absolutely. Before I leave, you’re going to give me everything you have to offer. I want all of you.”
“How do you know it will work?” she said, uncertainly.
I smiled. “It will work. You’ll see. I’m going to put myself in your womb, and it will work.”
She sat on the bed. I wanted to sit next to her, tell her it would work out, that we’d live a happy life together, but I couldn’t. The truth was more important. I was riding out to my death in the morning.
And before I did, I was going to exact my price from her. She would carry my child.
“You said you had brothers.”
“We’re a brotherhood. I call them my brothers, but we’re not related.”
“Jackson,” she said, “we need to talk.”
I shook my head. “The time for talking’s done, Faith. The time for talking was last night, before I put a bullet in that Los Lobos thug.”
“I don’t want you to die, Jackson. I don’t want you to risk your life, even if it’s for my safety. I couldn’t bear it if you didn’t come back.”
I leaned down to her and took her face in my hands. “Listen to me very carefully, Faith. The truth is, I’m happy to do this. If I can give my life to help someone as beautiful as you, it will be worth the sacrifice. And if I can go to my grave knowing there’s even a chance that you’re carrying my child, that’s a death I can face with courage and honor.”
She looked at me, and I could tell she was hearing what I said. I know there’s not a woman in the world who would want to hear the words I was saying. But there was a strange, masculine logic to it, and she could see that.
A life for a life. That’s how it is for a man. It’s simple. It adds up.
“How do you know I’m the one.
I put my mouth on hers and kissed her. Our tongues met and entwined.
“I just know,” I said, and left the room.
Chapter 12
Jackson
There was a high-powered rifle with a scope in the den and I got it and a box of cartridges. I rode into the sweltering heat of the valley. About four miles down I took a dirt trail leading to some hills. I found a position on an overlook and waited.
It was thirty minutes before a group of deer entered my field of view. They were almost a thousand yards out but I wanted to test the rifle. It was the gun I’d use to kill Wolf Staten.
I loaded a cartridge and held up my hand to judge the wind. There was a slight easterly breeze. I adjusted my sights, making sure there weren’t any gusts or lifts on the valley floor. I breathed slowly but steadily, holding the smallest deer in my crosshairs. I put my finger on the trigger.
With the naked eye, the deer was scarcely a dot among the chaparral in the distance. Through the sight, I was so close I felt I could touch him. I could see him breathe. I could make out the faint white marking beneath his left eye. I trained my sights on the artery in his neck, just above the shoulder blade. It would be an instant death.
I exhaled and depressed the trigger.
He didn’t even hear the shot when the bullet struck. The other deer pranced and ran, darting across the valley like fish in a reef. My target hit the ground, a small cloud of dust rising around him.
My father died without a grandson. Faith was my destiny. I hadn’t asked for her. She’d come into that bar and offered herself. I was going to give my life for her. That made her mine.
When I got back to the safe house, all I could think about was putting myself inside her.
“Faith,” I called.
“In here,” she said from the bedroom.
I entered, and my eyes grew when I saw how beautiful she looked. I swear to God I’ve never seen anything more enticing. She’d washed her hair and it was wet on her shoulders. Her skin was moist from her bath. She was clean and perfumed.
She took my breath away.
“Do you remember what I said to you when we met?” I said.
She nodded, shyly. She was trembling. She was afraid of whatever I was about to do. My cock pressed against my jeans like a caged tiger wanting to escape.
“I said, I’d destroy you. I said, I’d drink you like the desert drinks the rain. That I’d ravage you until you begged me to stop.”
“I remember.”
“Well, that’s what I’m here to do, Faith.”
A white sheet covered her body and she removed it, revealing everything she had to offer me. My heart pounded with a raw, animal desire.
She smiled, faintly.
“I’m going to put myself inside you, and when I’m done, if it’s God’s will, you’ll be carrying my child.”
She opened her legs seductively. I couldn’t believe it. She wanted me. I’d thought I was destroying her, defiling her with my need to leave an heir, but she was welcoming me with open arms.
“I’m yours, Jackson,” she whispered.
I stripped, and when she saw me she gasped. My cock was so rigid it was red with desire. My blood raged through it. It knew what was coming. It was about to perform the act it had been created for.
I walked to the bed and climbed above her. She looked at me with a mixture of love and terror. I touched her pussy with my hand. It was wet. I smiled.
My finger slid inside her and her muscles clenched around it like a fist.
“That’s my girl,” I said.
I kissed her mouth, forcing my tongue into hers. She sucked it.
As we kissed, I slid into her waiting pussy, filling her with my girth. She was tight. She gasped. I was bigger than her ex. That much was clear. I pushed myself all the way in.
She let out a whimper, more a cry than a moan.
“You’re going to be mine, Faith. You’re going to be completely mine after this.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“And I’m going to be yours too,” I said.
She pulled me closer and my cock throbbed with pleasure. The knowledge that I was about to pour myself into her thrilled me.
There would be no undoing this. It was the language of God, or else God never spoke.
I pushed my cock all the way inside and pulled back out. Her fingers gripped the muscles in my shoulders. I pushed inside her again. She moaned.
I built up speed, pushing into her and pulling out. In and out, like an engine piston. Something took over, an insane passion.
I knew that when I came, my seed would hit her cervix. No rubber would stop me this time. I would pour freely into her and together, we would create a new life. I wanted it. I wanted to feel it happen.
I pushed in, my cock throbbing with pleasure. I forced myself so deep she cried with each thrust.
An innocent angel—that’s what I thought as my cock plowed her mercilessly.
Her legs clenched my waist so tightly she was going to bruise us both. I wanted it. I wanted to be bruised. I wanted to leave my mark on her.
She was mine. She was going to be mine forever.
Any man that threatened her risked his life. I would erase all memory of Wolf Staten from the world. He’d defiled Faith, he’d threatened her, and he would pay.
I grabbed her breasts. They were so small and soft in my massive hands. I looked into her eyes.
“I’m coming, Faith.”
“I know,” she cried.
I could feel it. I felt the force of my orgasm blast into her with such intensity it threatened to shatter her. She cried out. Her muscles clenched me so tightly it hurt. Her pussy gripped my cock like a noose.
I shot my load into her like my very life depended on it. Her womb took my semen. I flowed into her. Again and again, I climaxed. Each surge of pleasure brought a new spurt of sperm.
Her eyes were locked on mine. I was doing it. I was putting my seed in her belly. I was putting my child in her.
I’d taken her. I’d claimed her. She was mine now, and she’d be mine forever. God Himself could not undo what I’d just done.
“I’m yours,” she whispered as my orgasm subsided.
“Yes,” I said. “You’re mine,” and as I said it, my voice cracked.
For the first time in my adult life, I cried.
Chapter 13
Faith
It makes no sense, but that night with Jackson, I felt safer than I’d ever felt in my life. Everything was different. The entire world was new. I was carrying his child, or at least, I hoped I was. I’d know in a few weeks. And that’s all that mattered.
At no time during the past two years, during all the time I’d spent with Wolf Staten, had I felt that safe or that possessed. Despite all Wolf’s power, all the henchmen he had at his beck and call, he’d never felt as powerful or as possessive as Jackson.