By the time the clock struck seven, I was sitting at the kitchen counter, dressed and washed, a cup of fresh coffee in my hand. It was a strange feeling. I’d never been in that position in my life, waiting for a kid to wake up, and yet, it felt good. Like it suited me. I loved it. Who’d have ever thought?
I prayed Sam wouldn’t be frightened when he found me there instead of his mother.
I knew I should have gone into his bedroom to wake him for school, but I didn’t want to intrude in his space. He might be eleven, but he was still a man, and a man needed his space.
I shouldn’t have worried. When he came out to the kitchen in his pajamas, rubbing his eyes, he seemed pleased to see me.
“What the?” he said, almost jokingly.
“Coffee?” I said, preempting anything he might say about my being there instead of his mother. The best way to deal with the situation was to change the subject.
“I don’t drink coffee,” he said. “I’m too young.”
“Right,” I said. “Sorry, I’m not used to hanging out with kids. I should have known that. What do you drink?”
“Orange juice,” he said, staring at me like I had two heads.
I poured some juice and handed him the glass.
“What’s going on?” he said.
“I’m taking you to school,” I said. “Your mother’s friend, Lacey, had an emergency during the night. She asked me to come over because she didn’t have anyone else to call. Believe me, I was as surprised as you were.”
“When’s she coming back?”
“Your mother?”
“Yeah.”
“She shouldn’t be there too long. A couple hours, I’d guess. Hopefully she’ll be the one who picks you up after school.”
“And what if she can’t?” Sam said.
“If she can’t, I’ll pick you up.”
He looked at me for a minute, weighing me up. I’d found some Pop Tarts and put two in the toaster. One each. They popped and I handed him one, took a bite out of the other.
“Thanks,” he said.
“My pleasure, buddy.”
“What happened with Lacey?” he said.
“Hell if I know.”
“I bet it has something to do with Matt.”
“You know about Matt?”
Sam smiled at me. “I hear everything,” he said. “They think I’m not listening, but I always am.”
“I’ll try to remember that,” I said.
God, he was a smart kid. I knew my kid would be smart. I wanted to lean over the table, knock over his juice, and hug the hell out of him. I wanted to squeeze him so tight. I wanted to tickle him, hear him laugh. But it was too soon. Those things took time.
“So what’s the deal with Matt?” I said.
“He’s Lacey’s boyfriend. Mom says he’s a cheating piece of shit.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Your mother wouldn’t like it if she heard you using language like that.”
“That was a direct quote,” he said.
I couldn’t fault him for that. “Fair enough,” I said.
We got through his morning routine without any hiccups. He liked my truck a lot. I told him I’d teach him to drive it if he wanted. He liked that idea a lot. When we got to his school he was a little hesitant to get out.
“What is it, buddy?”
“Thanks for the ride,” he said.
“Anytime.”
“You’re a good guy, Jackson,” he said.
I was stunned. I’d never have imagined that a kid saying something that simple could have hit me with such an emotional impact. I almost felt like I’d cry.
I had a son.
Thanks to Faith, I had a son.
Chapter 46
Faith
By the time I got to the police station, I was worried sick about Lacey. She was sitting on a bench, waiting to be discharged, and she looked completely dejected.
“What the hell, Lacey,” I said when I saw her.
She was looking at the ground and when she looked up at me, I saw she was crying. My heart filled with sympathy and I softened my tone.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
I put my arms around her and held her. She’d always been there for me. Now it was my turn to be there for her. She nestled her face into my neck and sobbed. I almost burst into tears myself.
“It’s all right, Lacey. Everything’s going to be all right.”
“I don’t know,” she said, between sobs. “I don’t know if it will ever be all right.”
“Lacey, what happened?”
“I was drunk,” she said.
“And you went over to his place?”
She nodded. “First, I tried calling him. I called his cell, like a million times. There was no answer. Every time I called, no answer. I got more and more worked up. I couldn’t let him end a two year relationship with a single voice mail. I needed closure. I’d given him everything.”
“I know, Lacey. That’s all right. That makes sense.”
“I wasn’t crazy?”
“I’d have wanted the same thing.”
“Well, eventually, he answered the phone. Only it wasn’t him.”
“Who was it?”
“His wife.”
I put my hand over my mouth. “Oh, Lacey.”
“I felt like such a slime ball, Faith. I mean, was I the one being cheated on, or was she? What was I supposed to feel? Didn’t I have a right to be upset too? I was a victim of his lies as much as she was.”
“What did she say?”
Lacey shook her head. “What do you think she said? What would you have said?”
“I’m so sorry, Lacey.”
“She called me a whore, a home wrecker, a slut. She said I’d ruined her life. She said she hoped I burned in hell for what I’d done to her.”
“You didn’t do it to her, Lacey. You didn’t know Matt was married.”
“But should I have known? Was I intentionally being naive?”
“No. You had no clue. Did you?”
“No. I didn’t.”
“Then how can you be held responsible for his decisions? Matt did this, Lacey. He hurt you and he hurt his wife.”
“I felt sick to my stomach, Faith. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just felt such rage.”
“Weren’t the brothers around?”
“No, they were out. You were out with Jackson. I didn’t want to disturb you.”
My mind cast back to the text message she’d sent me. It had been out of character and I should have realized something was up. I’d been so taken by Jackson meeting Sam for the first time that I’d completely forgotten.
“You should have called me, Lacey. You know you can always call me. I’d have talked you down.”
Lacey smiled. It was an embarrassed look but at the same time mischievous.
“I didn’t want to be talked down, Faith. I wanted to hurt him. I went over to his apartment, the one his company rents for him, and I tore up his suits and shirts, ripped his furniture, smashed his television.”
I was shaking my head but when I caught her eye, we were both seeing the funny side of it.
“That will teach him,” I said.
“I hope so. He probably won’t care. He’ll replace it all.”
“He’ll be in trouble with his wife.”
“She’ll probably forgive him. Hold it against me instead.”
“Do you think he’ll press charges?”
“No. He wants this brushed under the carpet as quickly and quietly as possible.”
“What a fucking asshole,” I said.
“I know.”
“Let’s tell the brothers. They’ll teach him a lesson.”
Lacey grabbed my shoulders. “Don’t even think about it,” she said. “Faith, I’m mortified. The less people who know about this, the better. It’s too humiliating.”
“All right, Lacey. All right. Calm down.”
Lacey l
et out a sigh.
“Are you ready to leave?” I asked.
“I need to wait to sign some statement. They’re typing it up.”
“I’ll wait with you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Nonsense. You helped me through all the difficult times in my life. I’m not going anywhere.”
She smiled. “Thank you, Faith.”
I hugged her again. “I’m so sorry I didn’t reach you when I got that message,” I said. “I should have tried again. My mind was elsewhere.”
“Of course it was. You were thinking about Jackson.”
“Yes.”
“And?”
I paused.
“Faith, tell me,” Lacey insisted.
I was glad to see she was cheering up.
“Well, he met his son for the first time.”
“And did they hit it off?”
My eyes teared up. I don’t know where it came from, but I was crying like an idiot. I nodded.
“They did?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, Faith.”
“Yes,” I said again, practically balling. “They hit it right off. They were like old friends.”
“Oh, Faith. I’m so happy for you.”
I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t pull myself together. I was a basket case. We were both basket cases.
“Did he fuck you?” she said.
My mind flashed back to all the things Jackson had done to my body. I got goosebumps.
“We fucked all night,” I said. “He was all over me, Lacey.”
Lacey laughed. “Well, at least things are going right for one of us.”
I was in tears as I held her. I felt so guilty that I hadn’t been there for her when she’d needed me. She was always the one I called when things got difficult.
“I promise you, we’ll get through this together, Lacey. Whatever you need, whatever you have to do, I’ll be right here to do it with you.”
“Thank you, Faith.”
The door opened and we both turned to see who it was. It was Jackson.
“Jackson,” I said.
“I had to come check on Lacey.”
He gave Lacey a big hug, and she wiped away her tears.
“Sam’s at school,” he said to me.
“Thank you so much. How’d it go?”
“It went great,” he said.
I turned to Lacey. “Jackson took Sam to school for me.”
“Is that so?” she said, her eyebrows raised. “You two are thick as thieves.”
I was embarrassed but Jackson didn’t seem to mind it.
“What the hell happened to you?” he said.
Lacey laughed. “You don’t want to know.”
“I can guess,” Jackson said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Jackson winked at her.
“Let’s just say you’re not as good at keeping a secret as you think you are.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” Jackson said, and he turned to leave.
“Jackson, wait right there,” Lacey called. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t worry,” Jackson said. “Me and the boys have your back.”
“Jackson,” I called. I knew how private Lacey was about those things.
He turned at the door. “Oh, and I’ll pick up Sam. You two take some time together.”
And he was gone.
Chapter 47
Jackson
“Sam,” I called from the window of my pickup.
“Jackson?”
“It’s me again, buddy. Your mom’s at the hospital, otherwise she’d have been here.”
As Sam got closer to the truck I could see that there was some blood on his lip. It was bruised and swollen. His eyes were red too, like he’d been crying.
I didn’t say anything as he climbed into the cab next to me. It was obvious he’d been in a fight but I didn’t know enough about it to know how to broach the subject.
As we pulled out of the school parking lot I saw a group of four boys, bigger and older than Sam, pointing at him and laughing. Sam looked down at the ground.
“Is that them?” I said.
Sam looked up at me. “What?”
“Are those the cocksuckers that gave you the fat lip?”
He looked shocked at my language, but I needed him to know that I wasn’t the type of adult he was used to. He could talk straight with me. I wasn’t gong to judge him for anything. I was his friend. If he needed to get something off his chest, he was welcome to. Hell, I knew all too well what it was like not to have anyone to talk to.
He shrugged.
I didn’t push it.
I drove toward Main Street and put some distance between us and the school.
“You hungry?” I said.
He shrugged. He was upset. It broke my heart to see him like that. He’d been so full of joy when I dropped him off in the morning.
“I’m starving,” I said, even though I wasn’t. “I’m just going to go through this drive-thru up here and grab something, if that’s all right with you.”
He nodded. The drive-thru would give me some time to talk to him. I knew there was some advice I could give him to get this issue taken care of. I’d been in my share of fights. I knew what it was like to be an outsider. Whatever he was going through, it could be fixed.
We pulled up to the order window and looked over the menu.
“I’ll take a root beer, large fries, burger.”
“Anything else?”
“Lots of ketchup. Throw a few extra packets in there. I can’t eat fries without it.”
I looked at Sam. “You’re up, buddy.”
He sighed, but leaned over me to see the menu.
“Chicken snackers,” he said.
“He’ll have the chicken snackers,” I repeated, “a large box, with fries.” I turned to Sam. “You want a root beer or something to wash that down?”
He shrugged.
“A root beer too,” I said.
When we got our food I didn’t take Sam straight home. I needed to get to the bottom of what had happened at school and I knew if I took him home he’d disappear into his room or something.
There was a lookout point above the town where I used to take girls when I was in high school. I drove up there and parked at a spot overlooking the entire valley. You could see for fifty miles from up there, clear to the ocean.
“You see down there, where the river splits?” I said.
He was opening his food but looked up to see. “Yes.”
“That’s my daddy’s vineyard.”
“All of it?”
“All those slopes leading down to the river. The cliffs there. All of it.”
“I thought your dad died,” he said.
“He did. I guess it’s mine now.”
Sam nodded.
The sun was beginning to set and it was bathing the valley in pink-tinged light. The river looked like a ribbon of light. It was beautiful.
Something came over me, an overwhelming sense of love, and I said probably more than I should have. I should have spoken to Faith first, but Sam was my son, I was his father, and I had to take the reins at some point.
“And after me, it will be yours.”
Sam looked up at me, his bright eyes like jewels made by angels, and he smiled. He knew. Somehow, without anyone ever telling him, he knew everything. It all made sense to him. It was a miracle. How’d he know? I was sure Faith hadn’t told him anything about me being his daddy.
“I know,” he said.
I put my hand on his arm softly.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I understand,” he said, and he spoke so certainly I knew he understood everything. “I’m your son.”
I couldn’t help it. A single tear rolled over my cheek.
“I’m your dad,” I said.
And then we gripped each ot
her like two people trying to survive a shipwreck in the sea. I don’t know if I was hugging him or he was hugging me. It seemed to last forever.
It was Sam who broke the silence.
“Can we go there?” he said.
“The vineyard?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think your mother would let us?”
He nodded. “I know she would. She’s nuts about you.”
I laughed. “Is that so?”
“Yes,” he said. “She thinks I don’t notice things. But I notice.”
“That’s a good skill,” I said.
Sam nodded.
“We’ll go down into the valley,” I said, “but I’ll warn you now, if my brothers are around, they’re tough guys. They might shock you. They’re not civilized like you and me.” I winked.
Sam laughed. “You mean, Grant, Forrester and Grady. I know them.”
“So you do,” I said. “I forgot about that.”
“They’re my godfathers.”
“Are they?”
“Yes, and I wish I was tough like they are.”
“You’re plenty tough,” I said.
He shook his head. “Not tough enough.”
“No one’s tough enough to stand up to a group of guys,” I said. “I saw those guys making faces back in the parking lot. There must have been at least four of them.”
Sam nodded.
“They give you a hard time?”
“Yeah.”
“How come?”
He shrugged.
“Well, let me tell you a few things,” I said. “First off, it doesn’t matter why they’re picking on you. Jerks like that will always find a reason. Hell, guys like that, they don’t even need a reason. You wear red sneakers, they’ll pick on you for that. You wear a Lakers hat, they’ll use that. You switch your sneakers to white, take off your hat, they’ll pick on you for that too.”
“So there’s no solution?”
“Oh, there’s a solution, it’s just not what you think it might be.”
“I have to beat them up,” he said, “don’t I?”
I laughed. “Hold on cowboy. If I remember correctly, there were four of them?”
“Yes.”
“And they looked a little older than you.”
“Yeah,” he said.
“So how in the hell would you be able to beat them up? This isn’t Karate Kid. Trying to use force will just get you in trouble.”
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