“But it would solve the issue.”
“It might, for a while,” I said. “But trust me, you don’t want to go down that road.”
“Did you go down that road?”
“Yes I did,” I admitted. “I’ve gotten into fights that took me years to settle. Sometimes you can’t help it.”
“And what happened?”
“Well, sometimes I won. Sometimes, the other guy won. That’s how fighting is.”
“So what should I do?”
“You finished with those fries?” I said.
He nodded. I grabbed them in my fist and ate them. Then I took all his trash and got out of the car and walked over to the trash can. He got out of the truck and followed me.
We were alone in the parking lot. No one else was up there. It was a really beautiful evening.
“Okay, Sam,” I said, facing him. “I’m going to show you how to look after yourself.”
“All right,” he said, raising his dukes as if we were about to start a boxing lesson.
I smiled. “There’s a secret language that exists, and if you can speak that language, no man will ever give you trouble.”
“No one?”
“Well, way less people. If you know how to speak this language, you’ll be able to avoid ninety-nine percent of issues you might get into with other men.”
“Am I a man?” he said.
I nodded. “You’re a man, Sam. And you want to set yourself up so that other men know who you are, know what you stand for, and respect you. If you can do that, you won’t have any trouble from them.”
“I won’t have trouble with anyone?”
I laughed. “Oh, you’ll have trouble, but it will mostly come from women. And let me tell you, that sort of trouble is far more dangerous than what any man can do to you. But you don’t have to worry about that for a few years, yet. Right now, your trouble is with these punks in your school, am I right?”
“Yes.”
“So the first thing you have to do, is hold yourself tall.”
I stood up straight to show him. “See me. Shoulders back, head straight up, chest forward.”
He stood up straight. “Like this?”
“Perfect,” I said. “Now take in a deep breath.”
He took in a deep breath.
“You see how that makes you feel? Like you’re taller, stronger, ready for action?”
He nodded.
“The way you feel is crucial. If you feel strong, people will notice. If you feel weak, people will pick up on that too.”
“So feel strong?”
“Exactly. Believe in yourself. Believe that no one can hurt you. Because, the truth is, Sam, no one can hurt you. The only person who can hurt you is yourself. Other kids might hit you, but you’re the one who decides if that’s a problem or not.”
“It’s a problem,” he said.
I laughed. “Only if you think it is, buddy.”
He looked confused.
“Look,” I said. “All your life, people are going to do shit to you that you don’t like. Your boss is going to ride your ass. The government is going to charge you taxes. The cops are going to pull you over. Your old lady is going to break your balls.”
He nodded.
“You can’t stop all of them from doing what they’re going to do. That’s beyond your control. The only thing you control is your reaction to it. Strength, courage, a steady hand. All those things come from within yourself. They come from your mind, not your environment.”
He nodded.
“So once you’re centered, once you know who you are, where you stand, and how you feel about all the shit that’s going on in the world, you’re already there. You’re already safe.”
“Really?”
“Basically. The only thing left is to make sure the other guys around you know it.”
“Know what?”
“Know that you’re steady. Know that you’re centered, strong, sure of yourself.”
“How do I make them know that?”
“One word, Sammy boy.”
“What is it?”
“Attitude. It’s all in the attitude. You get the attitude right, and you’ll never have to get in another fight in your life.”
He nodded. He was taking it all in. I knew he was. It was basic stuff, stuff he’d learn on his own given time, but it was also stuff I wished someone had told me when I was his age. I’d spent my entire life getting into fights, and they’d cost me dearly. They’d cost me twelve years. It was only with years of experience that I realized if I played the attitude card right, I wouldn’t have to get into all the fights.
“And what if it doesn’t work?” he said.
I nodded. “You’re right, Sam. Sometimes it won’t work.”
“So what then?”
I shrugged. “That’s when you’ve got to kick someone’s ass.”
He laughed.
“Come on, buddy. Let’s get you down to that vineyard. I’ll show you around.”
We got back in the truck and made our way out of the expensive neighborhood he lived in, down into the valley. As we pulled down the driveway of my daddy’s farm, I felt as if my life had come full circle. I was back where I’d started, only this time, I had my boy with me.
I showed him around. Showed him the vines, how they grew. Told him their history, how our forefathers had taken them over on boats from the old country. I showed him the house. He said he’d help me fix it up and I made him promise not to tell his mother about it. I wanted to surprise her with it.
The brothers weren’t around so it was just the two of us.
Afterwards, I took him home.
I pulled into a gas station on the way. “Go wash your face,” I said. “We don’t want your mom seeing that blood. She’ll never let me pick you up again.”
He touched his face. There was a little dried blood from where the bullies had hit him.
“You’ll remember what I told you?”
“It’s all about attitude,” he said. “The tougher I act, the less I’ll have to fight.”
“That’s my boy,” I said.
Chapter 48
Faith
“I don’t know how to thank you for this,” I said to Jackson when I finally got home.
He and Sam were on the sofa watching UFC. It wasn’t something I’d usually allow Sam to watch, but he obviously needed a male influence in his life, and men liked UFC.
“Don’t mention it,” Jackson said, eyeing me up like I was his prey.
It made my heart flutter. Just the thought of the things I’d allowed him to do to me made my stomach do backflips.
“Lacey really needed me today.”
“Any man that would cheat on a girl like Lacey’s an idiot. She’s better off without him.”
“How do you know about it?” she said.
“We all know.”
“Well,” I said, “I hope she’s able to bounce back soon.”
Jackson nodded.
“So how was Sam?” she said.
“We had a blast.”
“Did he eat?”
“Chicken and fries,” Jackson said.
Jackson took a step toward me. “Listen,” he said, “Sam and I talked about a few things today.”
“What things?”
“Everything.”
I wasn’t sure what Jackson meant.
“And what I said last night, I meant it. I love you, Faith.”
My heart pounded in my chest. It was overwhelming to hear those words. I thought back to last night. I’d had so many orgasms my body was begging for mercy, but the thought of Jackson inside me again made me dizzy with desire.
Sam was in the living room and Jackson went in to say goodbye. I was touched that he didn’t just forget about Sam as soon as I was there.
“Hey, buddy. I’ve got to go see my brother, but I’ll be seeing you again real soon. Remember everything we talked about.”
“I will,” Sam said, and straightened himse
lf up. He’d been slouching but now he looked tall and confident.
“That’s it,” Jackson said.
Then he kissed me on the cheek, right in front of Sam, and was gone. I stood by the front door, even though it was shut, and listened to the big engine of his truck as it fired up.
A moment later my phone vibrated. I picked it up. It was a text message from Jackson. ‘You’re mine, and I want you all the time.’
I couldn’t have been happier. It was strange. Jackson was exactly what I needed. I’d spent years looking for a stable, respectable, dependable guy who’d be a good influence on Sam. Then Jackson came along, the kind of guy women fight to keep away from their children, and Sam was so comfortable with him. It was a miracle.
I went into the living room to check on Sam.
“How was school today?” I said.
“Good.”
I looked more closely at him and it was only then that I saw the bruising, the swollen eye. I’d been too distracted to notice.
“Sam,” I cried. “What happened to your face?”
“Those jerkoffs at school beat me up,” he said.
“Jerkoffs? Who taught you to speak like that?”
He shrugged.
“We’ve got to go speak to your principal,” I said.
“No,” he said. “I can handle this.”
“Sam, they’ve hurt you. They can’t just do that.”
“Mom, I know what I’m doing. I’ve got a plan now.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m going to show those boys they can’t mess with me anymore.”
“How in God’s name are you going to do that?”
“Attitude, Mom.”
“What?”
“It’s all about attitude.”
“Sam. You’re just a kid.”
“No, Mom. I’m not. I’m getting older by the day, and if I don’t learn how to handle this, I’ll be dealing with guys like these for the rest of my life.”
I hugged him and held him tight. “Are you sure you’re all right, baby. Can I put some ice on your face, at least?”
He nodded.
I went and got an icepack and pressed it against his eye. He’d been punched in the face. I couldn’t believe it. And I couldn’t believe how helpless I felt. On the one hand, I agreed with him that he should learn how to handle this himself, but on the other, I knew it was my job as a mother, and his school’s job too, to protect him from this sort of thing.
“Sam,” I said.
“Yes, Mom.”
“What was it like having Jackson pick you up from school today?”
“Good.”
“You didn’t mind?”
“He told me this morning he might be there.”
“And that didn’t upset you?”
He shrugged. “Why would that upset me? He’s my dad.”
I froze. My face went pale. I thought I might faint. But Sam was looking at me as if he’d said the most natural, normal thing in the world.
“Did Jackson tell you that?”
“We talked about it, but I already knew.”
“You knew?”
Sam nodded. I took a deep breath. I didn’t know what to do. What was the textbook approach for this situation? How was I supposed to react? I presumed I was supposed to stay calm. If Sam was comfortable with it, then I should be too.
So I did what mother’s have always done in difficult situations. I changed the subject.
“What did you do together, after school?”
“Grabbed a bite to eat.”
“What did you talk about?”
Sam shrugged.
“You can tell me, honey.”
“We talked about the bullies at school.”
“Really?” I said. I was surprised. Sam was so secretive about it. Even I had a hard time getting information out of him.
“It was no big deal.”
“What did Jackson have to say about it?”
“Well, he told me he’s been through similar stuff. He’s gotten into fights that were very difficult to get out of.”
“I know,” I said, thinking of Los Lobos.
“Yup. And he knows how to make guys steer clear of you.”
“How?”
“Attitude,” Sam said.
“Attitude?” I said.
Sam nodded. “If other guys know I’m steady, if they know I mean business, they’ll stay out of my way.”
“Is that so?” I said.
“Yes, and then the only problems I’ll have left will be lady problems.”
“Lady problems?”
Sam nodded.
I laughed.
“And how do you feel about the fact he’s your father?” I said, carefully testing the subject.
“I love it,” he said. “I always wanted him to come back. He’s exactly what I hoped.”
I smiled. I refused to allow myself to cry. If Sam was happy, that was a pretty good indication that things were going all right, and that everything was going to be okay.
Chapter 49
Jackson
The coming weeks were the happiest in my life. I’d never dared dream my life could be so full and joyful. During the day, I worked nonstop on the house. I wanted to get it ready for Faith before she found out about it. It had to be the perfect surprise.
I told her I was working on the vineyard but she suspected something was up when I told her she wasn’t allowed down to the farm. Grant, Forrester and Grady helped me a lot. They put everything they had into the project.
In the space of a month we turned a ramshackle old farmhouse into a classical hacienda every bit as fabulous as the Brotherhood mansion. I had no shortage of money. A lifetime of heists against rich corporations had turned into a nice nest egg.
Lacey helped me with the interior decor decisions and in return, me and the boys did a little something for her.
She finally gave us permission.
One evening after work, we drove into the city on our motorcycles. The four of us rose quite a ruckus when we pulled up outside Matt’s fancy suburban house on our bikes. It was his wife who answered the door.
“Excuse me, ma’am,” I said to her, “but we’re looking for your husband.”
She looked us over and knew trouble was brewing. When we get out on our bikes, me and the brothers look bad. We look real bad.
“What is this?” she said. “What is it about?”
“You’ve got nothing to worry about, but you’re husband’s a cheating, lying scumbag who doesn’t deserve to be within five miles of a good wife like you.”
“Excuse me?” she said.
“You heard me. You shouldn’t let him touch you. He doesn’t deserve it.”
I looked her in the eye. She seemed like a nice woman. She was actually pretty similar in appearance to Lacey. Matt clearly had a type. She looked back at the four of us, then looked down at the wedding ring on her finger. We watched as she slid it off and handed it to us.
“Give him this while you’re at it,” she said. “I should have left the son of a bitch long ago.”
She drove off as we entered the house. Apart from Matt, it was empty. We didn’t exactly beat him up. There were four of us. It wouldn’t have been a fair fight. Besides, what we wanted to do was humiliate him. So we stripped him naked, and then recorded a video of the four of us spanking his ass until it burned bright pink. Matt was in tears by the time we were done, begging us to stop.
It was awful. He’d remember it for the rest of his life.
And just to make sure, we uploaded the video to a husband humiliation website, where wives could get revenge on the men who cheated on them.
I had his wife’s wedding ring.
“Hey, dirtbag,” I said to him as he lay on his bed, his pants around his ankle like a baby. “Stick this up your ass.”
“What?” he said.
I handed him the ring and a bottle of lotion I’d taken from his bathroom. The video was still recording.
“You heard me. Lube up and shove this wedding ring up your ass. You’re the one who fucked up the marriage. Now let’s see the ring fuck you.”
He shook his head but he knew he had no choice. He poured lotion on his hand, rubbed it on the wedding ring, and then shoved it inside his asshole. The room was silent. None of us laughed. We just looked at him like the pitiful dirtbag he was.
When we got home we showed the video to Lacey and Faith and they almost died. They couldn’t believe what we’d done. They were too shocked to laugh. But after they’d watched it a few times and had downed a few bottles of wine, Faith and Lacey were making the lewdest jokes you’ve ever heard about cheating men, and they were laughing their faces off.
We emailed a link of the video to Matt’s employer, and to his wife. Lacey had found out her name during a period of online stalking that had bordered on an obsession.
“I know you wanted to keep your private life private,” I said to Lacey.
“Fuck that,” she said, downing her sixth glass of wine for the evening. “I don’t know how to thank you boys. You’ve fixed everything. For the first time in weeks, I feel like I’ve got the closure I needed. I finally feel like I can move on with my life.”
“Then our job’s done,” Grant said. “Both of you girls always remember, you’ve got the four of us to cover you for anything. Don’t keep secrets from us. We’re here for you. We’ve got your backs. We’re family.”
The following day, I was eating Cheerios with Sam for breakfast. I slept at Faith’s house every night, and I got to see Sam all the time. We ate breakfast together, I dropped him off at school, I picked him up. In the afternoons he’d hang out with me and the brothers and help fix up the farmhouse for Faith.
He loved hanging out with us and I loved having all that time to spend with him. I could see his confidence grow by the day as he learned more and more about being a man from me and the brothers.
I’d say the proudest day of my life was the day I drove up to his school to pick him up, and he asked me if he could play baseball with his new friends.
“Who are your new friends?” I asked.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you dad.”
“Try me.”
“Those guys,” he said, pointing at a group of four older boys across the lot.
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