Witch is When My Heart Broke (A Witch P.I. Mystery Book 9)

by Adele Abbott

  “Actually, that’s the reason I called in today.”

  “Are you looking for a job or a flat?”

  “Me? Neither. But I know a sup who is looking for both. When I was in the park in Candlefield recently, I bumped into a young female vampire who told me that she was hoping to move to Washbridge. She needs a job and somewhere to live, so I thought of you guys. I didn’t tell her who you are or make her any promises, other than to say I would ask to see what you thought. She did say that she’s had experience of working in shops.”

  “I don’t know,” Charlie said. “After the experience with Ruth, I’m not sure we want another vampire. They just can’t control themselves. As soon as they see a human neck, the fangs are out.”

  “I understand what you’re saying, but how else are you going to find a sup who is a ready-made shop assistant and a flatmate?”

  “That’s true,” Neil said. “We should at least talk to her. What’s her name?”

  “Dorothy. Look, if you think it’s worthwhile, I can get her to come in and see you. Then you can decide whether you like the look of her. If you don’t, nothing lost, but if you do, it will have saved you a lot of time and energy.”

  “Okay then. Tell Dorothy to get in touch with us,” Charlie said. “We’ll have a chat with her, and take it from there.”

  I took the stupid midnight blue wool back to the office.

  “How much do I owe you, dear?” Mrs V was all smiles now.

  “Err—I—err.”

  “It’s usually five pounds. I hope you didn’t pay over the odds.”

  “Five pounds? That’s right. That’s exactly what I paid.”

  She checked her purse. “I’ve only got two pounds-fifty with me. I can let you have the rest tomorrow.”

  “You know what? It doesn’t matter. I’ll knock it off your wages.”

  ***

  I received a call from Hamlet; he was now ready to look at cages, so I magicked myself over to Candlefield. Barry was out with the twins when I went upstairs to collect my well-read hamster from the box room.

  We made our way over to Rupert’s Pets; the shop where I’d bought Hamlet.

  “Is Eddie in today?”

  “No, he’s on holiday. I’m Rupert, can I help?” He glanced at the cage in my hand. “Did you buy that hamster here?”

  “I did.”

  “Is there a problem with it?”

  “No. No problem. It’s just that we’re going to need a bigger cage.”

  Rupert glanced again at the cage. “It looks like there’s plenty of room in there to me.”

  “There is. It’s just that Hamlet has started a book club.”

  “I see. So many of our hamsters do. Rodent edition books are a big part of our business these days. I assume he needs a bigger cage to accommodate the members of the club?”

  “Not just that. Apparently he has—”

  “I can speak for myself,” Hamlet said.

  “Sorry.”

  “Horatio Moore is coming to read for us. You may have heard of him?”

  “Of course,” Rupert said. “You’re very honoured. I understand he’s very much in demand.”

  I felt a bit left out of the conversation.

  “So anyway,” Hamlet continued. “I can’t possibly expect Horatio Moore to give a reading in this thing. I’m going to need your very best, top of the range cage. Something that royalty would be proud to visit.”

  “Of course. You’ll need the Elite Range.”

  “Just a minute,” I interrupted. “Elite Range? That sounds expensive.”

  “Money is no object,” Hamlet said.

  “Whoa! Hang on. Money is most definitely an object if it’s my money. Don’t you have any money?”

  “Why would I have money? I’m a hamster.”

  “Can’t you charge your members a fee to attend the reading?”

  “That would be tacky. Come on, Jill, we don’t have all day. Let’s take a look at these cages.”

  Rupert led us across the shop to an area with an illuminated sign, which read: The Elite Range. The cages there were truly spectacular; far bigger and much more handsome than the one which Hamlet currently had. I tried to see how much they cost, but there didn’t appear to be any price tickets on them.

  “How much are these, exactly?”

  “This is the Elite One. It’s one hundred pounds.”

  “I suppose I could run to that.”

  “No,” Hamlet said. “That one won’t do.”

  “Then we have the Elite Two. That is one hundred and fifty pounds.”

  “One hundred and fifty pounds? I suppose I could—”

  “We can’t expect Horatio Moore to spend time in there.”

  “And the top of the range is the Elite Three. As you can see, this one has everything a hamster could possibly require. The metalwork has been hand-crafted. Look at the ornate detailing on the top. It’s absolutely beautiful.”

  “How much is that?” I hardly dared to ask.

  “That one is two hundred and twenty-five pounds.”

  “Two hundred and—?”

  “We’ll take it,” Hamlet said. “That’s just what we need. I’m sure Horatio will be happy to do a reading in there.”

  “But it’s two hundred and twenty-five pounds!”

  “Plus tax,” Rupert said.

  Chapter 15

  I’d spotted Betty Longbottom in the distance. I wanted a word with that little madam.

  “Betty!”

  “Sorry, Jill. Got to dash.”

  “Betty wait!”

  When I caught up with her, I could tell by the worried look on her face that she knew exactly why I wanted to speak to her.

  “Have you taken them back?” I said, still trying to catch my breath.

  “Taken what back?”

  “You know what I mean. All the contraband you had squirrelled away in your flat.”

  “Most of it.”

  “How much is ‘most of it’?”

  “The lion’s share.”

  “So can I take a look in your spare bedroom tonight?”

  “There’s no need for that, Jill. Don’t you trust me?”

  “In a word, no. Come on, Betty, I want to know. How much have you taken back?”

  “Two handbags and some shoes.”

  “How many shoes?”

  “Two.”

  “Two pairs?”

  “No. Two shoes—one pair.”

  “At this rate, it will take you over a decade to take everything back.”

  “But it took so long to collect them.”

  “You didn’t collect them; you stole them. Now either you take everything back or I have a word with my friend the detective.”

  “Don’t do that, Jill, please.”

  “Okay, but you have to do it this time. Promise?”

  “I promise.”

  I felt a little bad for being so hard on her, so I tried to lighten the conversation. “Are you seeing anyone at the moment?”

  Her face lit up. “It’s funny you should mention that because I am as it happens. And I think this one may be a keeper.”

  “Really?”

  She laughed. “Only kidding. His name is Keeper.”

  Oh dear! It couldn’t be, could it?

  “Jim works some very strange hours, and always seems to be on call. He’s very sweet though.”

  Sweet? Jim Keeper the grim reaper?

  “What does he do?”

  “I don’t know for sure. I’ve tried asking him a couple of times, but he changes the subject. Mind you, I think I’ve worked it out.”

  This should be interesting.

  “I think he’s an undertaker because he always dresses in black. That’s probably why he won’t tell me. He probably thinks it would put me off.”

  “Yeah, that must be it.”

  “He didn’t even freak out when I told him about my sea-shell collection. And, it turns out that he has a collection of his own which is even more unusual
than mine.”

  “What does Jim collect?” Lost souls?

  “Scythes. Apparently, he has a whole room full of them. He said I should go over to his place to see them sometime. He did tell me where he lives, but I forget now.”

  Hades?

  ***

  Amber and Pearl had an appointment with their bank manager, and had left me in charge of the shop for an hour. I didn’t mind stepping in for short periods just so long as they didn’t try to pull another ‘Premier Day’ stunt. Thankfully, it was fairly quiet, and I was coping quite nicely. I had a couple of assistants with me in case I got into any difficulty, but so far so good.

  The door opened, and in walked two familiar faces: Miles Best and his girlfriend, Mindy. They were our competition in the form of Best Cakes who were located across the road from Cuppy C. What could they possibly want?

  “Morning, Miles,” I said. “Morning, Mindy. I’m rather surprised to see you two in here.”

  “We thought it was time to bury the hatchet,” Miles said. “Call a truce, so to speak. I realise that we’re partly at fault for the animosity.”

  “Partly?”

  “Maybe we let our competitive streak get the better of us. Anyway, we’re here now to offer an olive branch. Hopefully we can make a fresh start.”

  “The twins aren’t here at the moment. You really ought to be talking to them. It is their shop after all.”

  “Have we missed them?” Miles looked disappointed. “That’s rather unfortunate timing. Perhaps you’ll convey our message of conciliation?”

  “Of course. Would you like a drink while you’re here?”

  “Why not? Always good to check out the competition.” He laughed. “I’ll have a latte, please.”

  “What about you, Mindy?”

  “I’ll have the same. A caramel one, please, Jill. By the way, did I see you with a dog the other day?”

  “Yes. That’s Barry, my Labradoodle.”

  “I love dogs. Labradoodles in particular. I don’t suppose he’s here now is he?”

  “He’s upstairs in the flat.”

  “Could I see him?”

  “I can’t really leave the shop.”

  “Maybe I could pop upstairs, and say hello to him?”

  “I suppose that wouldn’t do any harm. But he’s very excitable, so be careful he doesn’t knock you over.”

  “It’s okay. I’ve been around dogs all my life. I’m sure I can handle him.”

  Mindy disappeared upstairs to the flat, leaving Miles and I to make small talk.

  A few minutes later, she re-joined us. I couldn’t figure out what had prompted this. Ever since they’d opened Best Cakes, they’d been very competitive, and had even resorted to sabotage. Now, suddenly out of the blue, they wanted to be friends? Something just didn’t feel right. But it wasn’t my problem. That was something for the twins to sort out with them. After they’d finished their drinks, Miles and Mindy said goodbye, and walked back across the road to Best Cakes.

  A few minutes later, there was an ear piercing scream, and the woman at the table next to the window jumped up onto her chair. Seconds later, another woman in the corner seat screamed; she too climbed onto her chair. What was going on?

  “There’s a mouse!” the first woman screamed.

  “That’s not a mouse,” the man sitting next to her said. “That’s a rat.”

  Suddenly someone else screamed, “Rats!”

  I came out from behind the counter, and sure enough, there on the floor were three rats scurrying back and forth. Two women were screaming; one of the men was screaming too. Slowly but surely everyone made their way out of the shop—some of them stepping from one chair to the next.

  Just as the last few customers were leaving, Amber and Pearl returned.

  “What’s going on, Jill? Why is everybody leaving?”

  “We’ve got rats,” I said. “Look! Over there!”

  The twins stared in disbelief. “Where did they come from? We’ve never had rats before.”

  “I’ve no idea. I just—” Then, a little bell rang in my head. “It must have been Miles.”

  “Miles?” Amber looked puzzled. “What does he have to do with it?”

  “He and Mindy came over a while ago. He said that he wanted to offer an olive branch—to make a new start.”

  “How did he manage to get the rats in here?”

  “That must have been Mindy. She had a bag with her when she went upstairs. At least, I thought she’d gone upstairs.”

  “Why did you let her go up there, Jill?”

  “She said she wanted to say hello to Barry. She must have sneaked around the back, and let the rats out of her bag.”

  “I’m going to kill him!” Pearl started for the door.

  “Not if I get to him first,” Amber said.

  I put myself in between them and the door. “You can’t do that. You’ll get arrested.”

  “But look what he’s done. If word gets around that we’ve got rats, we’ll be finished.”

  “That won’t happen. There were only a few people in here. You’re more likely to attract attention if you go over there and cause a fuss.”

  “We’re not going to let this lie,” Amber said. “We’ll have our revenge.”

  “Yes.” Pearl thumped the counter. “We’ll make him suffer for this.”

  The twins called in a friend of theirs who used to work for a pest control company. He made short work of rounding up the rats—I didn’t ask what he intended to do with them—sometimes ignorance is bliss.

  To try to take the twins’ minds off the rat infestation, I changed the subject.

  “Aunt Lucy and Lester were having a right go at each other when I was around there the other day.”

  “What about?” Amber said.

  “Their honeymoon. Lester keeps suggesting places they could go, but Aunt Lucy shoots them all down in flames. He’s getting tired of it. She either says it’s too expensive or too hot or too—”

  “That’s not why she doesn’t want to go,” Pearl said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Mum’s scared of flying.”

  “Really?”

  “Scared of aeroplanes to be precise. She’s only ever been on one; it turned her into a nervous wreck. Ever since then, she’s refused to fly.”

  “If that’s the reason, why doesn’t she just tell Lester?”

  “She doesn’t like to admit it. I think she’s embarrassed,” Pearl said. “It’s stupid really. It would be far easier just to tell him than to let him keep coming up with destinations when she knows that she’s going to say no anyway.”

  “He stormed out while I was there.”

  “Oh, dear. Do you think the wedding’s off?” Amber said.

  “It had better not be,” Pearl chimed in. “I want to be a bridesmaid.”

  “Perhaps I should have a word with Lester?” I suggested. “I could tell him about Aunt Lucy’s fear of flying.”

  “Don’t tell him we told you. Mum will kill us.”

  “I’ll be discreet.”

  The twins rolled their eyes.

  “What? I can be discreet. I’ll take him to one side and let him know what’s what, and then, hopefully, he’ll come up with somewhere that doesn’t involve aeroplanes.”

  ***

  Even though Charlie and Neil at the fancy dress shop had said they were willing to give Dorothy a chance, I was beginning to have second thoughts. Should I really be getting involved? What did I actually know about Dorothy? Nothing more than what she’d told me in our brief conversation.

  I decided to trust it to fate. I’d take Barry to the park, and if I bumped into Dorothy again, I would take that as a sign that I should tell her about the flat and the job. But if she wasn’t there, then I’d let sleeping dogs lie.

  Scientific eh?

  “Do you want to go to the park, Barry?”

  “Yes, please. I love going to the park. Can we go for a walk?”

  “That’
s why we’re going to the park.”

  “I love to go for walks.”

  “I know you do, Barry. Come on, then. Let’s go.”

  “Will Babs be there?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “I hope so. I like Babs. She likes to go to the park too.”

  “So I hear.”

  “And she likes to go for a walk.”

  It never got any easier.

  We’d been in the park for the best part of an hour, and there’d been no sign of Dorothy or Babs. Obviously, the fates had decided I should let it lie. It was probably for the best.

  “Come on, then, Barry. Let’s go home.”

  As always, he ignored me, and carried on running around the park like a crazy dog. I didn’t have the energy to chase after him, but figured a few treats might do the job.

  “Barry! Look what I’ve got. Barkies! Come and get them!”

  Barry started to run towards me, but then suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. What was going on? He never hesitated when treats were involved. Then suddenly, he ran in the opposite direction. I never thought I’d see the day when Barry turned his nose up at treats, but then I spotted Dorothy and Babs.

  “Hello there, Jill.” Dorothy let Babs off the lead, and the two dogs began to chase one another around the park.

  “Hi. You nearly missed us. We were just about to go home. Barry actually turned his nose up at a treat when he spotted Babs. He never does that.”

  “They seem very fond of each other, don’t they?”

  Barry and Babs were still running wild, up and down the park. If only I had a quarter of their energy.

  “Did you manage to ask your friends about the job and the flat?”

  “Yes. They said that they’d be happy to talk to you about both.”

  “Really? That’s fantastic.”

  “I can’t promise anything. It’s obviously their decision, but if you’re still interested—?”

  “I’m definitely interested. I’m so grateful, Jill.”

  “Not a problem.” I gave her the name and address of the shop.

  “I’d really like to do something by way of a thank you. Perhaps, we could go out in Washbridge some time? My treat. Maybe have a night out or a coffee or something?”