Killer Carat Cream

by Patrice Lyle

  No answer, however.

  Tattoo Tex tried the handle. "It's locked."

  I knocked again. But still no answer. Hmm.

  I glanced both ways down the hall. Not a witness lingered. I normally operated above the law, but this was an emergency. Snookums was rotting away in the Annabelle Island jail because of a sting we'd orchestrated and my failure as a PI. I turned to Tattoo Tex, but the intensity in his eyes told me he knew exactly what I was thinking.

  Well, that and the fact that his boot was angled toward Cassidy's door.

  "Stand back, Doc."

  I followed orders and briefly considered making a video of the door bust-down for Aunt Alfa, but she'd have to live vicariously through my recount of the tale. I didn't want to retain footage of Tattoo Tex committing a B & E.

  Whack! Tex's foot slammed against Cassidy's door. Whack! Whack! The sound of splitting wood filled the hallway as Tex's boot rammed against the door. One more kick against the door and the door flew open, banging against the wall.

  "That's how we open shut doors in Texas." He hurried me inside with him and kicked the door shut behind us. "Hope no one heard the ruckus."

  I should have been concerned that we'd be caught for busting the door down, but all I could think about was one descriptive word about my boyfriend.

  Hot.

  I mean, how seriously hot was it to kick a door in?

  "What you just did was über-sexy." I inched closer and pulled him in for a kiss. I pressed myself against him, and thoughts of getting a confession from Cassidy faded as a red-hot desire shot through me.

  The case would have to wait.

  "Easy thar, Doc. Let's check for evidence and then hightail it out of here."

  Darn. He was right. I shook my head to clear my Tex is über-hot haze. I scanned the room for any clues, but it was obvious we were too late.

  "Cassidy's gone." I pointed at the bathroom in front of us. "Nothing on the counter, a sure sign a woman's checked out." Then I peered in the closet. "No luggage either."

  "I wonder if there's a late ferry leaving the island." Tex pulled out his phone and tapped at the screen. "Yep. There's an 11:00 PM ferry on Saturday night. I'd bet my truck she's going to be on that boat."

  I glanced at the digital clock on the bedside. "That gives us only two hours to find her." Something on the bed caught my eye. I raced over and picked up a glossy take-out Fresh Flippers menu. "She could have gone for sushi first. The ferry terminal probably only sells burgers and greasy fries."

  "Let's go to Fresh Flippers, and if Cassidy's not thar, we'll head to the ferry dock. I doubt a model would eat a burger." He winked at me. "But I reckon I might."

  Tex knew I wasn't a supporter of white-flour buns, yellow cheese, and beef—he actually loved the Piper version of the American cheeseburger with a buffalo patty covered with manchego cheese on a spelt bun with organic jalapeno mustard—but the man could have whatever he wanted after busting the door down.

  With the help of Aunt Alfa's memory herbs and essential oils, I was going to relive that moment for decades to come.

  "And one more thing, Doc."

  I lifted my hands in surrender. "You can have the greasy fries too." Non-organic potatoes were heavily sprayed with pesticides, so he knew I didn't recommend them.

  He laughed. "I couldn't care less about fries. I was just going to say that we're not taking Pinky tonight."

  Warmth tingled through me.

  He tipped his hat like a true Texan gentleman. "We're taking the Escalade."

  * * *

  Cassidy was easy to spot when we walked into Fresh Flippers. She was the only person seated at the sushi bar and the only tall, skinny woman in white shorts with sushi tattoos on her calves inside the restaurant.

  And she wasn't wearing a gray wig this time.

  "I'll sit next to her and order some sushi to look casual before I launch into the evidence we have against her." I looked at Tex. "What kind of sushi do you like? Are salmon and tuna okay? Those are my favorite."

  Tattoo Tex's lips quirked into a grin. "I reckon us cowboys aren't fans of raw fish so you order whatever your pretty little sparkly self desires. We're here to bust Cassidy, not eat."

  "True, but I don't want to scare her off right away." Plus her diet tips had sparked my interest. Maybe I could lose those pesky five pounds with some sushi?

  Tattoo Tex pointed at my purse. "Did you turn your phone on voice memo?"

  I opened my purse and retrieved my phone. "I did now. Let me lock it so only the screen saver's showing, and I'll set it next to me on the counter to record her confession."

  "Can I help you?" a man's voice said behind us.

  We turned to see Howdy Doody smiling at us. His welcoming grin didn't falter, so maybe he didn't recognize us from before. He probably saw hundreds of people a night.

  Or maybe Howdy Doody was just being polite.

  Tattoo Tex gestured toward the sushi bar. "We'd like some sushi. Can we seat ourselves?"

  Howdy Doody nodded. "Just as long as there's no livestock with you."

  I smiled. "No, it's just us."

  We stepped aside and confirmed the final maneuver of Operation Snookums Freedom. Last minute details were important.

  "You go to the bathroom and wait like five minutes." I figured Cassidy might spook if she saw both of us. And it's not like she could harm me in the middle of Fresh Flippers.

  Tattoo Tex nodded. "Then I'll come out, and you give me the sign to make the citizen's arrest."

  "Right, when I take off my cowboy hat, you take her down. Don't make a move until I give you the sign."

  "Sounds like a plan." He planted a quick kiss on my lips. "Be careful, Doc."

  I waved away his concern. "I'll be fine. I'm a PI."

  I spun on my bling boots, which wasn't nearly as easy as turning on my sparkly heels, and headed for the sushi bar. Two sushi chefs with serious looks on their faces sliced fish fillets with long silver knives. I often wondered if solemn facial expressions were a prerequisite for sushi chef school.

  I lowered myself onto a stool next to Cassidy with my back facing her. I set my phone on the counter between us.

  "I didn't figure you for a sushi fan," Cassidy said.

  Did that mean she thought I was overweight because she stayed so skinny on a sushi diet? But I shook off the mean jab and focused on my mission.

  I turned on my stool. "Oh, hi. I, um, didn't see you sitting here."

  "Uh-huh." Cassidy rolled her eyes and dug into her purse, retrieving a Sleek sample. "Here. Take another one."

  Perfect opening. I took the tube from her and angled it beneath the sushi counter light. "Do you have many of these left?"

  Cassidy was about to answer when a sushi chef appeared in front of us. Darn it. He was seriously impeding my operation.

  "What would you like to order, miss?" His tone was all business.

  "I'd like some salmon and tuna nigiri, please."

  He handed me a glass of water before picking up a notepad. "How many?"

  "Three pieces each. Thanks."

  I turned toward Cassidy to resume our conversation.

  "I don't have many samples left," she said with a sneer. "If you like the stuff, you'll have to buy it."

  "Where'd your samples go?"

  Cassidy scrunched her face. "What's it to you?"

  "It's nothing to me, but it sure is something to an Annabelle Island Inn maid named Edith. A sample-sized tube of Sleek was found in the employee bathroom. Next to her dead body." I stared at her and allowed my comment to simmer.

  Cassidy narrowed her eyes. "I didn't give any samples to the hotel maids."

  "I didn't say you did. The Sleek sample must have fallen from your pocket when you murdered Edith."

  "I'm a model, not a murderer."

  Yeah, right. "I also found a piece of sushi in the trash outside Heath's hotel room. It was mixed up with a certain gray wig that I recall you wearing to this restaurant."

  A sinis
ter sneer spread across her face. "You can't prove anything."

  "You sure about that?" I leaned closer and went in for the kill. "I know it was you who killed Dr. J and the maid. You wore a gray wig when you asked poor Edith to let you in my room so you could poison the Carat Cream. It worked perfectly because Sasha knew my great aunt was staying in my room, so you played the forgetful old lady. And I have a picture that places you on my balcony before the party, proving you had the opportunity to poison the Carat Cream with the #PufferFishVenom you bought in China."

  Cassidy bit her bottom lip while she mulled over my evidence. "You looked me up online."

  "At your suggestion about Sleek." Ha. You busted yourself! "And I remember you asking Dr. J about the scent of the Carat Cream before she used it. You wanted to make sure it didn't smell funny. Give it up, Cassidy. You're busted."

  Cassidy glanced at her sushi and made a face. "This isn't cut right." She lifted her skinny self off the stool and gestured at one of the sushi chefs to come hither.

  He hastily came. "Can I help you?"

  She pointed at her plate. "This dragon roll's not cut right. May I please have a knife?"

  My heart rate accelerated as if I was in the last phase of an uphill climb in cycling class. A knife! Should I take my cowboy hat off now? My decision-making was interrupted by a ding on my phone. Had Tattoo Tex messaged me? If so, it could be about the operation. I glanced at my phone and groaned.

  Mystic Ming had responded. Rude of you to point out my mistake about identity of Carat Cream killer. First time as psychic detective. But I never wrong about marriage proposal. Cowboy not going to propose at Monster Truck Event. Or ever!

  His harsh words shattered my soul. I shook my head to clear my mind. Ming was just being rude because I'd pointed out that he was wrong.

  That had to be it.

  Tattoo Tex was going to propose! But it didn't have to be at the Monster Truck Event. Any time he proposed would work for me. There. I'd turned a calorie consumed into a calorie burned.

  I looked at Cassidy again and focused on my mission. I blew out a sigh of relief that the sushi chef had taken her plate and hadn't given her a knife.

  But she didn't need a blade to kill me.

  Cassidy lifted the hem of her yellow tank top, revealing a small gun stuffed into the waistband of her shorts.

  Holy chocolate babka!

  "Here's how this is going to work. You're going to chug your water." Cassidy pointed at my glass. "And then I'll watch you die like I watched Dr. J die."

  Realization hit me about what sneaky Cassidy had done. "You poisoned my water with puffer fish venom."

  "Good work, Sherlock." Cassidy's eyes clouded after her sarcastic remark. "Drink your water now, or else I'll blow your brains all over this sushi bar."

  My response should have been to yank off my cowboy hat, but the fear of Tattoo Tex not proposing paralyzed me. I mean, if I took my hat off, then he'd see my disgusting hair and Mystic Ming's prophecy might come true.

  There had to be another way.

  "Fine, I'll drink the water, but only if you tell me why you killed Dr. J." I'd buy myself some time to formulate an escape route and get a full confession on tape.

  "Fine. If you must know, since you're about to die, it all came down to money. I worked on Heath for months, but he only likes old bats. He got fired from his Wall Street job for calling some stupid old bat call line." Her eyes darkened as she shook her head. "What an idiot. Then I got hired by Sparkle O and learned about DMSO. That's how I hatched the scheme. Did you know that stuff penetrates into the bloodstream lickety-split?"

  I rolled my eyes. "I've been a Sparkle O rep for years. Plus I'm a naturopathic doctor, and I recommend DMSO for muscle pain."

  "DMSO has way more uses, trust me. It was the perfect way to slip Dr. J some puffer fish venom and turn her into a zombie because zombies will do anything." She sat back, smug at her plan. "That's what happened in The Serpent and the Rainbow."

  Who was the idiot? But obviously I couldn't ask her that. I was pretty sure my PI flash cards would warn against angering a gun-wielding psycho.

  I could, however, ask her this. "What did you think Zombie Dr. J would do?"

  "Give me the money to start my sushi business. But then the snotty wench goes and drops dead, which actually ended up being cool because Heath inherited her money." Cassidy's eyes clouded again. "He wouldn't share the wealth with me though. I was too young."

  "So you planted the puffer fish venom in his room."

  "Yeah, but not all of it. I didn't know if I might need to kill someone else before leaving Annabelle Island." Cassidy swiveled on her stool and leveled a cold-eyed gaze on me. "I was right. Bottoms up, Dr. Piper."

  This was it. My big moment. I'd gotten the Carat Cream Killer's confession on tape. Now I just needed to escape with my life. My mind raced with ideas. Then it hit me.

  I craned my neck and gazed past her. "Look! A naked surfer!"

  The lewd promise made her lose focus for a second because she spun in her seat and stared at the wall. But a second was all I needed.

  I reached out and made a grab for her gun. My hands hit the metal, and I yelled, "She's got a gun!"

  Screams erupted in the restaurant. Several patrons took cover beneath their tables. Others raced for the doors. Howdy Doody picked up the phone. And the sushi chefs ducked behind the sushi bar.

  Cowards. They had knives!

  Cassidy put a vise grip on my arm. "Drink your water! You ND's are always harping about the benefits of hydration!"

  I ignored her jab and struggled to get the gun from her, but she wouldn't relent. A tug-of-war ensued. My gaze stayed on her hands, and I made sure not to let up. Hopefully Tattoo Tex would take action even though I'd told him not to until I gave him the sign. I struggled with Cassidy for what felt like forever. At least my arm workout was paying off.

  But I was weakening. Hurry up, Tex.

  "Lean back, Doc!"

  Yes! My knight-in-shining-cowboy-armor had arrived. Tattoo Tex pulled his boot back and kicked the leg of Cassidy's stool. Whack! Whack! The wood splintered, and the legs crumbled. Cassidy screamed as she tumbled onto the linoleum.

  I jumped away from the murderous model and set the gun on the sushi counter. The sushi chefs ran out from behind the counter and pinned Cassidy to the floor.

  Tattoo Tex rushed to my side and pulled me into a hug. "You were supposed to take your hat off, Doc."

  I leaned into his chest, and relief flooded through me. "I know, but sometimes plans change."

  I didn't want to admit why I hadn't wanted to remove my cowboy hat. I feared that you wouldn't ever propose if you saw my hideous hair sounded hysterical. Plus didn't all women's advice magazines recommend against mentioning marriage early in a relationship?

  It felt like Tex and I had been together forever, but in reality, it had only been a couple of months. Too soon to mention I do.

  The Fresh Flippers doors burst open, and the Hardy Boy look-alikes raced in, followed by Detective Franks. He eyed me as he conferred with Howdy Doody.

  "I could have lost you, Doc." Tex's voice sounded scratchy, and he sniffed. "I reckon the bling hat could have been ruined in a scuffle, but I can always buy you a new cowgirl hat." He sniffed again. "But I can't buy a new Sparkly Doc."

  Aw. He thought I loved the bling cowboy hat so much that I feared its destruction.

  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

  EPILOGUE

  Cowboy Pops a Question

  "Look at that truck, thar." Tattoo Tex pointed at a giant red truck on ten-foot tires that raced up an incline in the center of the Monster Truck Event arena. "Man, she's a beauty. But not as beautiful as you, Doc."

  I flashed him a smile and scooted as close as I could get to him in our arena box seats. "I'm so glad we came. We all needed a break after the Carat Cream case, and this is pretty fun."

  Words I never thought I'd say, but here I was. At my first Monster Truck Show.
r />   Tattoo Tex picked up a bottle of water and took a sip. "We lucked out on that murder case. I'm glad Cassidy got arrested, and that was nice of the hotel to refuse to let me pay for the damage to her door."

  "Catching the killer was payment enough." Plus they'd offered us a free week at the Inn to offset my financial losses at the Carat Cream party. It was a generous offer, but my murderous memories of the place weren't conducive to returning.

  "Look here, Pipe." Aunt Alfa's voice was chipper as usual.

  I turned to see her cuddling Brownie a few seats down from us. Aw. Nothing made me happier than seeing them content. Aunt Alfa and Brownie were the loves of my life.

  Along with Tattoo Tex.

  I was one lucky naturopathic doctor.

  Aunt Alfa pointed at my piglet's little face. "Brownie likes the big trucks." Brownie wiggled his pink snout and let out a loud squeal.

  Wwwweeee!

  Tattoo Tex had booked the box suite of a livestock company that had graciously allowed us to bring Brownie. If he'd been denied, Aunt Alfa would have smuggled him in. But legal admittance was nice. My heart did the Snoopy dance when Aunt Alfa kissed Brownie's snout. Hollers and cheers erupted in the arena.

  "Doc," Tattoo Tex said as he swatted my arm. "Look thar at the kiss cam."

  What? The Monster Truck Show did have a kiss cam? I turned and stared at the big screen hanging above the arena. An image of Aunt Alfa and Brownie appeared along with the word oink superimposed on the bottom of the screen.

  "How cute." I wriggled my eyebrows at Tattoo Tex, hoping he'd plant one on me, so we could be on the kiss cam too.

  "Get a picture, Pipe! I want to show Snookums, and I can't move!"

  Oh, for the love of dark chocolate mousse. Aunt Alfa was done with SST—only because it shut down—but after Snookums was released from the Annabelle Island jail, he and Aunt Alfa agreed to remain in touch. I couldn't complain about Aunt Alfa's remaining SST connection, however, because Ida had moved in with her cousin instead of us. Ida and her bling scooter would have been trouble for sure.