A Harmony of Water and Weald

by Lynn E. O'Connacht

  As is the nature of

  Our relationship now.

  I stand by the railing

  And watch them swim away.

  I don’t think I will ever

  See them again. :(

  A little one,

  The one who was

  So interested in me,

  Peeks back out of the water,

  I think, before diving away quickly.

  “Do you regret it?”

  The Sea Witch asks and

  For a moment

  I do not understand what

  She is talking about?

  I shake my head.

  I could never regret

  Dancing. Flowers.

  My prince. My princess.

  “I miss the sea,”

  I tell her. “More than anything

  I miss my sisters on bad days.

  But I don’t regret leaving.”

  The Sea Witch stands beside me

  Salt water dripping down scaled legs.

  She is silent, staring over the sea.

  I do not ask. I wait.

  But nothing ever happens.

  Not until the Sea Witch turns

  And smiles, all sharp teeth,

  And I remember that she too

  Is a mermaid of the sea.

  “Should you find a tall-crab

  In the water, treat them kindly.”

  I do not know if it is a command

  Or merely a request, but she is

  Gone before I can answer. :/

  Her words are not a riddle.

  I think on that little mermaid

  As I go to my cabin where

  My prince and princess are still

  Soundly sleeping, though the sea

  Has tossed them together.

  I smile and I wonder,

  What will happen tomorrow.

  Unmoored

  We do not find

  A tall-crab drowning

  In the water before

  We reach my prince’s kingdom. :/

  Perhaps I was wrong

  To think that that mermaid

  Would choose to learn

  About tall-crabs by

  Becoming one.

  We do find carriages

  And festivities

  When we arrive ashore

  And the world is a whirlwind

  Of movement and the press

  Of bodies close together

  As we all try to get from

  One place to another.

  Even I find it too much

  Too close and am glad

  When the feast in our honour

  Is only a day before we

  Move on to the castle.

  I wonder if Shark will

  Still recognise me when

  I arrive there.

  I have been quiet

  Since I saw my sisters again.

  My prince and princess have

  Given up trying to pull me

  From the mood I am in.

  It is not a bad mood!

  I am not moping or sulking

  Or unhappy. Just… contemplative.

  I don’t know why the Sea Witch

  Would say what she said if

  There was no tall-crab on our path.

  She would not let the sea

  Take one of my sisters

  After making a bargain with her.

  Would she?

  I am distracted

  All through the welcoming

  And all through the feast

  And all through the ball.

  My old rooms startle me enough

  To draw me from my thoughts.

  We’ve been so accustomed now,

  My prince and I, to everyone sleeping

  In a few rooms or for us to use

  One of the rooms set aside for privacy

  That it is a shock to find myself

  Alone.

  Well, not quite alone. ^_^

  There is Shark, poking her head,

  Out from amidst the duvet.

  She is still tiny

  And she still recognises me!

  She comes running over the duvet,

  Still too thick for her small body

  Not to sink into it every step

  She takes. But she gets to the edge

  Just as I get to the edge

  And she nuzzles my nose.

  I pet her and think that

  Maybe it is not so bad to be

  Alone if Shark is with me.

  Being back here

  Is as strange as it is

  To have seen my sisters again.

  I feel… unmoored.

  Confused.

  I try not to be and tell myself

  That I am not, but I am.

  It takes me until

  Half-way through the night

  To realise that I’m homesick.

  Shark is cuddled up close

  To me, just tucked above my head,

  A tiny paw on my forehead.

  This little ball of warm body

  Is not my princess.

  The room I am in is quiet

  Without the sound of people

  Fast asleep, breathing or snoring

  And I find that I cannot sleep at all. :(

  I simply rest, trying not to disturb Shark,

  And wait for the sun to rise and

  The day to begin as it always has here

  With people trying to stuff me into

  Tall-crab things and tall-crab ways

  That do not fit me all that well

  Now that I’ve found tall-crab ways

  That suit me better.

  I miss home.

  I Didn’t Understand

  We are supposed to stay

  For a month, and it is…

  So strange to be alone

  For a month. But sleeping

  Becomes easier. ^_^

  Shark does not leave my side.

  Not even when we travel

  To the forest because my princess

  Has begged and pleaded to

  Be allowed to see how hunters

  Hunt for game in the woods.

  I hope they will let her join them.

  At least she’s wearing clothes

  In which she is comfortable

  For the trip. ^_^

  I’m not, but I don’t mind

  Too much. I’m not going

  To join the hunters anyway.

  I want to swim in the water. ^_^

  I want to play with Shark. ^_^

  Though Shark doesn’t like water. :/

  I half-expect every body of water

  To contain a tall-crab in need

  Of our assistance, but we find

  No one on our hunting trip. :(

  My princess has shot a deer, though! :O

  And a duck.

  Shark finds the duck

  More interesting than I.

  So we use some of the feathers

  To play with her.

  It is late when we leave

  To return to the castle

  With our food.

  I wonder if I could still

  Eat meat raw or if I

  Am too human now.

  I think I don’t want to find out. >>

  There is little else that

  Truly interests me.

  It’s strange.

  When I arrived here

  Everything was fascinating.

  Everything was new

  And strange

  And I didn’t understand

  Anything at all.

  Now… There is a routine.

  A way to do things and

  It is hard to veer away from it.

  My princess helps with that,

  Though, as she does her best

  To learn about this kingdom


  And its people. ^_^

  It hurts when I overhear

  Some people making fun

  Of how she speaks

  But I cannot tell them to stop

  Because I only have my hands

  And they do not understand me. :(

  I don’t tell my princess.

  I tell my prince

  When we are alone

  In the garden,

  With only Shark, for company.

  He does not respond to me.

  He is only very still

  And says “I see.”

  It is frightening. :(

  I’ve gotten used to

  My prince being… fluid.

  Tall-crabs would say ‘relaxed’,

  But I think fluid is better,

  Able to go with the current

  Without struggling, without effort.

  We do not talk much

  After I tell him about our princess.

  The silence is not comfortable.

  It is dark and tense and

  I excuse myself.

  I want to

  Go out into the town

  To shop for a present

  That will remind my princess

  Of our home

  And that will

  Be useful.

  I know exactly what I want to get. ^_^

  The Present

  I couldn’t find what I was looking for. T_T

  Now my princess will not

  Get the present that I had wanted

  To give her. It is impossible

  To find a blanket just the way

  That I wanted it, all the colours

  Of the ice and snow of winter.

  Not the way I want it.

  What I have is coarser

  Than I would have liked

  And it isn’t dyed or made

  With the patterns that I

  Had imagined in my mind.

  I thought, perhaps, I should

  Buy wool myself and learn

  To knit so I could make it

  Exactly how I want it to be.

  But I find myself reluctant.

  I am not made to sit still and quiet.

  Dejected, I walk back to the castle. :(

  It is a dark day. Thick, black clouds

  Loom low in the sky and I know

  That I should have asked for a carriage

  Or a horse. My feet hurt more than

  They have in a long time

  And I am only partway through

  The road back.

  I’m glad my present

  Is wrapped tightly and

  I’m sure it won’t get wet. ^_^

  My prince and everyone

  Will worry if I come back

  Soaked through by the rain,

  But I only mind because

  It makes my clothes so heavy

  And it slows me down.

  I still love the rain here. ^_^

  It’s warm and soft.

  This time of year

  Anyway.

  There is a river that

  You have to cross

  To return to the castle.

  The rain and the running water

  Make me think of the Sea Witch’s words

  And I expect to find someone

  Struggling in the water

  As I pass.

  There is no one. :/

  I don’t understand.

  Perhaps my sister changed her mind?

  A rain drop falls onto my nose

  Fat and wet

  And I can’t help but giggle

  Because it fell right

  Onto the very tip.

  I shouldn’t worry so much

  About the Sea Witch’s words.

  They’ll make sense eventually.

  I’m sure they will. ^_^

  For now, I should enjoy

  The walk back home

  To my family.

  I still have

  A way to go

  But I can dance

  In the rain

  And have fun. ^_^

  Stillness Like This

  I should have taken a carriage. T_T

  I don’t mind the rain, at all,

  Though all the ladies tut and frown

  At the way I’ve ruined my dress

  And shoes with wet and mud.

  I mind that I walked too long.

  I thought I could.

  I know I can.

  But today…

  Today I am even grateful

  That my prince is there

  To lift me up and carry

  Me back to my chambers

  And that my princess is there

  To help me undress and curl

  Up under the duvet and into

  The pillows.

  I don’t even want a bath,

  Though my princess and

  My maid eventually manage

  To coax me into one with

  The promise that the heat

  Will be soothing to my body

  And keep me from falling ill.

  I just want to sink under

  The water and breathe nothing

  But water for the rest of my life.

  Tall-crabs can’t do that.

  I can’t do that.

  I feel dull and sulky

  As the two women around me

  Chatter as best they can

  When neither knows

  The other’s language well.

  I haven’t even been able

  To present my gift yet. T_T

  And the heat is making me drowsy

  And before I know it

  I’m snuggled back under a mountain

  Of pillows and eiderdown

  And sleep is calling me.

  I did catch a cold. T_T

  I think this is the first time

  That I am ill? I do not like it.

  My head is sluggish.

  My nose itches and

  I can’t breathe because

  It’s blocked with mucus.

  The world spins every time

  I try to move. I can’t even sit. T_T

  I sleep.

  I sleep because if I do not sleep

  Then I will not move and if

  I move then I will teeter and fall

  And if I cannot move then I will

  Go mad. Mad mad mad mad mad.

  So I sleep.

  I sleep when I am

  Too poorly to think

  Of anything but

  The aches in my body.

  I sleep when I am

  Well enough to chafe

  At the way I am

  Not allowed out of bed.

  I tried. A few times, I tried.

  It was no good.

  I need. I need. I need.

  I need air. Water.

  Direction.

  I AM NOT MADE FOR

  STILLNESS LIKE THIS.

  T_T

  Being Still

  It is a couple of weeks

  Before I am well enough

  To give my princess

  Her present.

  I have not forgotten,

  Though it has taken

  Me a while to remember

  What happened to the packet

  That I had been carrying

  On the day I got sick. :(

  I think my princess

  Has already seen it. :(

  But I will not keep a gift

  That I intended for someone else.

  The Witch’s pearl

  Might be the only time

  I’ve been tempted.

  And then only because

  I thought it would help

  My prince find happiness.

  So I wrap my gift back up

  And I make my way to

  The archery range where
<
br />   I know my princess spends

  Much of her time.

  She has greatly enjoyed

  Studying the differences

  Between what she knows

  And what they do here.

  I don’t understand it

  And I’ve found myself

  Reluctant to learn more. :/

  I don’t like catching

  My food with tools.

  My princess is there,

  More animated than

  I think she’s been all

  The time that we’ve been

  Here as she talks to

  One of the archers

  And she waves at me

  When she spots me.

  Suddenly,

  I feel shy. :/

  I don’t understand why.

  We’ve traded presents before.

  But she’s seen this one

  And it’s not what I wanted.

  I think that makes me nervous.

  Maybe she’ll hate it,

  This rough, off-white thing

  That I think looks

  A little like snowy mountains. T_T

  I hold it out to her,

  Glad, for once, that

  I cannot speak without

  My hands because I

  Think I would be stammering

  And feel worse.

  My princess excuses

  Herself from her companion,

  Though he stays where he is,

  And smiles at me shyly.

  I smile back at him.

  It seems to help. ^_^

  My princess is careful

  To unwrap the gift

  And to look at it.

  It doesn’t make her

  Jump to hug me

  Like the time

  I brought her fish

  I’d caught and prepared

  Myself and our clothes

  Were covered in herbs

  And fish oil and sauce.

  But I can see the way

  Her eyes light up and

  The way her mouth twitches

  In a smile and I know

  That whatever I think

  Of the gift, she likes it. ^_^

  “Thank you,” my princess says,

  Smiling. Her hands twitch

  Like she would like to have

  Said it with them.

  I appreciate the gesture. ^_^

  “I love you,” I say,

  Now that my hands are free.

  “I wanted you to have

  Something to remind you

  Of home.”

  That gets me a hug.

  Strong and enthusiastic

  And with no dish in my hands

  To throw over both our clothes

  As we hug and laugh.

  “Are you feeling better?”

  I nod.

  If I wasn’t feeling better I would…

  I would be doing the same thing. ^_^

  We both know that.

  “Good. Let’s go show

  Bernhard your gift.”

  She excuses herself

  To the archer again.

  He nods and rubs his hair

  And says he hopes she’ll

  Come back to talk to him

  Again a bit later.

  My princess waves him off,