Wingless

by Taylor Lavati

  "So, this is probably going to be hard to hear," Gabriel starts to say, but Micha cuts him off with a stern sideways look. Micha clears his throat loudly, and I watch him, skeptical of what he's about to say.

  "We've discussed the circumstances and have decided that you are going to be sent to Earth to live your life." Micha's the one to break the news to me, but it doesn't make it any less heartbreaking.

  "What?!" I yell out, jumping up from the lounger. "How could this—why?" I start pacing around when I can't contain my fury. My hands ball up in fists at my sides as I try to contain my frustrations.

  "It would be nearly impossible for you to get around the Veil. Plus, without having a full range of powers, we can't give you a job here. You'd have a better life in Earth, a more fulfilled life," Micha says, hoping to calm me down by reassuring me, but it's worthless. It doesn't work at all since I know Earth is a punishment. The sane parts of my brain shut down, and I'm confused, in complete shock.

  "I don't know anything about Earth!" I explode. "What about my family? And friends? Will I even be able to breathe down there?" I pace around the room between Gabriel and Uriel. Everyone's eyes are on me, but I don't even care how I look at this point. How is this happening to me? What did I do to make Rem punish me so badly?

  Sara snickers, which makes me stop in my tracks and face her head on. I glare, but then realize it's probably disrespectful so I wipe my face clean before she speaks.

  "You can breathe there. We're down there fairly frequently, and we're perfectly fine." She even throws up her hands and spins around as if trying to rub her full, black, feminine wings in my face.

  "I'm not an Archer. How would I know?" I sneer, unable to hold back my anger.

  "As for your family," Gabriel says, getting my attention. "They must remain here. We will allow you back into the Veil once a year for a supervised visit."

  "Supervised visit?" I ask them. "Are you kidding me?"

  "Listen, we understand your anger and frustration, but this is the only option. We will help you adjust to your new life style. But it's non-negotiable," Uriel speaks for the first time since entering my room. His voice is higher than the others, but it's worse in a way. It scares me with the authority it holds.

  "Great," I mutter. I walk back to the lounger and sit on the edge. I try to think through this awful situation and how I can get myself out of it. But it's pretty clear that there's nothing I can do. "What happens now?" I look up and ask, scared of their answers.

  "Your family and friends will come and say their goodbyes to you, and then tomorrow you and Micha will travel to Earth, where he'll set you up and get you settled," Gabriel explains, stepping towards me. He places his hand on my shoulder and looks down at me, a reassuring smile on his face. I glance up, and my eyes travel between him and the other Archers. The pity in their eyes haunts me.

  "I just want to be alone." I drop my head in my hands and try to cover my disappointment. I don't want the Archers to see me grieve. I don't want them to know of my weakness. They already feel sorry for me, and I don't want them to see me deteriorate any further. I just want to be alone, so I can grasp what's going to happen to me.

  When the last Angel leaves the room, I cower into my bed and cry over everything I've lost and will continue to lose.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Goodbyes

  I try to prepare myself for my final goodbyes. I convince myself that it'll be like moving to another community. I'd only be able to come to visit my Guardians once a year, maybe twice then. It's nearly the same thing.

  But once my mother and father step into the room, all of the hard walls I've worked to build up in my moments alone prove pointless. My mother is already crying before I even utter a word, and my father walks in in silence, his face hardened. He's not an emotional person, so to see him visibly hurting hurts me in turn. I hate seeing people cry. My heart squeezes in my chest at seeing my Guardians in this new light.

  "Oh, sweetie," my mother cries, rushing towards me where I'm sitting on the hospital lounge. She envelops me in her comforting arms, and I bury my head into her bony shoulder, needing her now more than ever. She's shaking she's crying so hard. I try to hold in my emotions, but the floodgates open involuntarily, and I give up trying.

  "I can still come back once a year." I look over my mother's shoulder to my father, who's awkwardly standing near the door. I try to make it seem like it's not a big deal for their benefit, when in fact my entire life is changing course I don't want them to feel bad. I don't want them to think that this is their fault.

  "We're going to miss you so much," my mother says to me. She pulls me back so we're face to face and rubs the wetness off my cheeks, like it's an embarrassment. She nods, trying to compose herself. Her hands rest on both of my shoulders, and she looks me up and down, as if she was memorizing the way that I look. It scares me.

  "You're going to be okay." My father comes closer to us and nods his head a hundred times, just like her. He's always been uncomfortable with tragedy or any emotional situation. His specialty is peace, so any conflict knocks him off kilter. He likes things to be perfect, and I guess looking at me just proves that I'm broken—far from perfect.

  "I know, I know." I try to convince myself, too.

  "You need to make friends when you get to Earth. You need to blend in. Humans are extremely fragile, you know."

  "What your mother is trying to say is that you'll be fine. Just try to be human, act human, and people will love you. You're strong, and you'll be okay. Use what you've seen in movies and television."

  "What do you mean blend in?" I ask them, trying to grasp the concept. They're throwing all this informations at me, and I'm trying my hardest to store it.

  "There's a lot on Earth that we don't know about. Rem hides it from us, but I know it will be different than here. Adapt. It's something you've always been good at," my mother tells me, suddenly becoming serious. Her face hardens. Long gone are the tears and out comes a serious woman on a mission. She's giving me everything she has to make sure I succeed wherever I end up.

  "Okay, I will," I reassure her, even though I really have no idea what I'm going to do. I haven't gotten that far in my thought processing to think about Earth yet and how I'll have to change who I am.

  "We love you, and we'll see you in one year from tomorrow," my mother says.

  "One year," I answer back, nodding. They both retreat through the doors they came in. I watch them fly out to the left and leave me for good. My heart sinks at the thought of how alone I am.

  That meeting didn't go as I thought. I thought maybe they'd be sadder, or confused. It kind of makes me feel like they knew something was coming long before my birth time. My mother is anything but emotionless, so seeing her switch from crying to giving orders is unnerving.

  I straighten out my outfit as I sit on the lounger, trying to get comfortable, but it's useless. I have no idea who else is going to come visit me and say goodbye. I don't know what the Doms and Archers have been telling people about me. Did they just play it off like no big deal?

  Before I can think further, Perry waltzes into the room. The color of her outfit takes me aback, and my eyes burn. She's wearing a typical white dress, but a neon pink scarf hangs down the front of her. Immediately, I wonder where she got it.

  "Girl," she drawls, rushing to my side and wrapping her little arms around me. I swear, there's not an ounce of muscle on this girl. "I'm so sorry," she whispers into my dark curtain of hair.

  "It's okay," I reassure her as we separate.

  "So, I did some digging in the records," she reveals as she sits next to me on the uncomfortable bed. I widen my eyes at her; since she's always getting into trouble. Angels aren't supposed to question Rem and dig around—it's just wrong. At least she's loyal to the core—to me.

  "On what?" I ask back, intrigued.

  She rolls her dark eyes at me. "Earth, Ann! Here's the information I found. There are colors everywhere, just like on the television. I g
ot this for you to wear," she says and pulls the scarf from her neck. She drapes it around my shoulders, and the pop of color frightens me. "Everything isn't white. Their ground is green, and the sky changes colors: sometimes blue or purple or red."

  "What?" I ask back in amazement, despite the fact that I've seen this all on the television. I just thought it was fake, like cartoons.

  "Yeah, and there's tons of boys and no restrictions to what you do. They don't choose mates or care about age; they just do what they want. They're very selfish. Plus, there are tons of sweets and food and drinks, but they're available all of the time—not just on birthdays."

  "What about the people, though?" I ask her, my mother's suggestion ringing in the back of my mind. "My mother said I had to blend in, but I have no idea what they do or act like."

  "Obviously, they don't have wings or powers. They have to eat and sleep every twenty-four hours. But wait until you hear this," she tells me. I pause, waiting for her revelation on bated breath. "There's halflings there."

  "What's that?" I ask back, wrinkling my nose up at the foreign word.

  "Half angels who are refused entry here in the Veil."

  "Why would they be refused?"

  "I don't know, Ann. I'm not a Cher—I don't know everything. But they might be able to help you fit in."

  "What do I do?"

  "I think you should meet up with them and make friends. They'll understand you more than regular humans and probably have some powers like you," she tells me. "I think that's your best bet to blending in. Plus, you can still be a Fighter. The job is a bit different there than here, but they still fight demons on Earth—or at least, that's what I've discovered."

  "They fight them?" I ask back, still confused, but more interested than before.

  "Demons are everywhere. You can still help the Angels, just in a different way." Perry grabs my shoulder and squeezes it. I lean into her familiar touch. I try to remember it, since it'll be a long time until I see her again.

  "Do you know how to find the halflings?" I ask her.

  "I could barely find much information on them at all. I'm sorry," she shrugs, defeated. "Just explore at night, and you might be able to find someone who helps. The Chers are hiding the information, it seems. I think something is going on. Something bigger than just us Angels."

  "Thank you so much, Perry!" I tell her, wrapping her in a tight hug.

  "Anything to make this easier for you." She holds me close as if she's afraid to lose me. "I'm so sorry this is happening to you," she whispers into my ear.

  "Me too," I say back, trying to contain my fears and the flood of emotions that engulf me. I hate being emotional. I hate feeling scared and uneasy. That's all I've been able to feel lately, though, so I guess I better get used to it.

  "See you in a year?" she asks me, raising her eyebrows.

  "One year," I tell her back, nodding.

  When she leaves the room, I can't control myself. I let myself cry over losing her. I know a lot can happen in a year and Perry is undoubtedly going to move on. She's a firecracker, easy-going, and loves to have fun. She'll have a new best friend in a few days, tops.

  "Annie?" Tab's voice breaks through my crying. I quickly wipe my face and try to hide any evidence that I've been upset, but it's pretty useless. Tab strides right over to me and picks me up in his arms, holding me like a small Angel.

  He's a large guy, and that was one of the reasons I didn't mind being chosen with him. I knew our children would be strong. But that's about as far as my glee over being chosen went. I wonder if they'll just keep the pairings at four this year or if he'll be matched with someone new. You would think I'd be jealous, but not an ounce of it runs through me.

  "I'm going to stop this," Tab declares, pulling me back so he's staring right into me.

  "It's okay," I tell him, stroking his face so he knows not to meddle. Tab is an Angel of determination, so if he really wants to, he could get himself involved. Though, I don't think he'd get far. The Archers are handling the situation, and they trump everyone else in this community. I think he'd only get himself hurt, and despite the fact that I don't love him, I would hate to see him in trouble.

  "No, Ann. It's not. This is ridiculous. They can't banish you like this," he rants. He drops me to the ground and runs a hand through his unruly hair. His light brown eyes are filled with worry, and it kills me to see him like this.

  "I guess I'm human." I shrug my shoulders because that's really the only explanation I can offer. I don't know how to fix it. I've never been good at consoling people either.

  "You're not," he cries. "You're not. Don't let them tell you those crazy things." He grabs my shoulders, his fingers digging into my blades, and shakes me a little bit. I don't like the way he's acting. His rage turns him into someone I don't like, and for the first time in my life, I'm scared. I'm strong and all, but Tab is large and muscular. His angry eyes scare me, and I have to stop this before it gets further.

  "Stop," I tell him, trying to wriggle out of his unrelenting grasp. "I'm leaving and there's nothing either of us can do. Stop saying you'll fix it. You can't, so just accept it. It's worse with you like this." My voice is hard so he knows to quit it. It's bad enough without him acting so enraged.

  "I can fix it. I know I can," Tab promises, but his words fall on deaf ears. "Do you hear me, Ann? I'll get you back here!" he yells and grabs me again, pulling me towards him.

  "You're hurting me, Tab." I again try to get away from him, but my strength pales in comparison. I'm sure it's just the shock at what he's losing, but I'm losing a lot more and still managing to deal with it, too. We had plans and goals we promised we'd accomplish together. And it's all kind of getting squashed in a matter of two short days. "It's okay. I'll be back in a year to see you."

  "A year?" he questions back, his face scrunching up in disgust. "I can't wait a year!" he yells, spit hitting my nose. I wipe it with the back of my hand and step back. He's not in control and upset; that's a bad combo for anyone, let alone a huge Angel. He reaches for me again and clutches my upper shoulder, his fingers on the exact same spot as before.

  "I'm not saying you have to wait," I tell him, leaning back in hopes that his hand will release me soon. "But that's what it is."

  "Let her go," a booming voice demands from the entryway.

  Tab and I both whip our heads towards the doorway in unison. Micha stands, taking up the entire doorway, hovering just a few inches above the white ground. "Do it!" he demands again, his eyes trained on Tab only.

  "Sorry," Tab whispers. He inches backwards away from me like I'm on fire and drops his hands to his sides. I glance down at my forearms, noticing the small red marks he's left behind. I didn't realize he was holding me hard enough to do that. "I'm sorry, Annie," he looks right into my eyes and then runs from the room, ducking under Micha and never looking back. He never even said goodbye to me.

  I look up at Micha; his searing gaze is focused only on me.

  "Are you okay?" he asks me, concern in his eyes and laced in his voice. He comes towards me, and for a second I think he's going to hug me, but he doesn't. He just awkwardly stops a foot or so in front of me and rakes his eyes over my arms. When he spots the redness, his eyes harden and sharpen on me.

  "I'm fine," I tell him sternly. "You didn't have to interfere. He's just scared and confused. He didn't mean to hurt me." I try to stand up for Tab, but I don't really convince myself. It's true that he's never touched me like that before; he's a bit passionate and sometimes it comes off in the wrong ways.

  Micha shakes his head side to side in disgust, "No man should ever touch a woman that way." I can feel the power ripple off of him in gentle waves. "Come," he says, waving me towards him. "We have work to do before we go."

  I follow behind him blindly.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Training

  "Work?" I ask as I chase Micha down corridor after corridor. My body has barely moved in the last two days so with each step my knees ache, a
nd my hip groans in protest. I feel weaker than before, like I'm slowly transforming into a human. I feel old, broken down, and vulnerable. My body shudders at the thought.

  "We'd like you to feel as comfortable as possible when you get down there. They have certain, uh, tendencies that you don't. So, you'll have to study briefly before we leave tonight," he says, not taking a breath between words.

  "We leave tonight?" I ask again, feeling like all I do lately is ask more and more questions that seem to only lead to more when answered. It's annoying to not know anything. I feel dumbed down despite being in the top of my class for every year.

  "Yes," he answers.

  I decide to shut my mouth, since it doesn't seem like he wants to talk much. He was like that in class, too. He'd only speak when he had something important to say. I felt like I was blabbering the entire time—similar to right now. But, he never really looked at me like a child. He always held me to high standards and treated me like an adult. It was something I always respected about him.

  He stops suddenly just outside of a set of large, white doors. I almost slam into him, but because I've been so far behind, I'm able to stop before I make a fool of myself. He pauses as if he's deep in thought, and then the doors open in front of him. I wish I could use air to move things. Unfortunately, I missed out on that power, and doubt I'll ever get it now.

  He walks right through the open doors, and I follow closely behind him into a room full of televisions. There are hundreds plastered on the wall and on tables. There are small hand sized ones, too. It's like the room is made of these skinny, blank screens. I've never seen anything quite like it before.

  "I've set up some programs that will give you more insight on humans. Some are about pop culture, some on food. You'll be able to see their houses, as well as the things that humans use or do. Likewise, you'll be able to see the variety of color available on Earth. You'll probably learn most of what you'll need through being on Earth, but this should give you a quick idea of what to expect, on top of what you already know." Micha swings his arm out and all the televisions spring to life at once.