The Lonely Wolf

by Monica La Porta

  “I don’t love him.”

  “Because you love me, is that right?” he snarled, pacing before her like a caged animal.

  “I’m mated to you, not to him.”

  “And how would you know? We’re from different species. Mating laws could be different.” But it was his anger speaking, because he had known since the moment they met that she was his soulmate. He might not have understood the magnitude of his feelings at the beginning, but the sweet ache in his chest any time he thought of Jasmine was self-explanatory. Most of all, if he’d had any doubt before, the pain burning through him at the thought she was promised to another man was undeniable proof the Great Wolf meant for them to be together.

  “I can hear your thoughts and I can send you mine.”

  He heard the plea in her voice and saw the shine in her eyes, but his mind was playing images of Jasmine and her fiancé together and he roared, “And?” when all he wanted was to drag her to the big couch in the corner, tear away her clothes, and mark her with his scent and his bite. First thing, he would plunge his fangs into her shoulder, so that nobody else could ever claim her. Then he would take his time to finally feast on the sight of her.

  “I was taught that it only happens between true mates… and it has never happened to me before,” she said, taking his breath away. “I’ve been betrothed to Seth since I was five, and I’ve never felt for him anything like what I feel for you. I care for him like a brother.”

  “Has he ever… seen you without—” Lupo couldn’t finish the sentence, his chin pointing at her dark garment.

  “Of course not!” She shook her head, her eyes wide as she hugged herself. “Only during the mating ceremony, a woman will allow her husband to remove her veil and chiton,” she recited.

  “You were allowing me.” He stepped forward, and she backed toward the wall.

  “You are my mate,” she repeated.

  Mine.

  Yours.

  At her submission, Lupo’s senses went in overdrive. He grabbed hold of her, crushing her against him, seeking her mouth through the offending fabric. “This must go.”

  She nodded, but stopped his hand before he ripped the veil in two. “I’ll do it.” With shaky fingers, she reached for the bottom part of the veil and lowered it, until her nose first and her mouth next came into view.

  At the sight of her pink lips, Lupo’s heart slammed hard against his ribcage, and he felt lightheaded. “You’re so beautiful.”

  Jasmine had high cheekbones and proud traits, and he thought that her face matched her attitude.

  But now that he’d had a taste of her, he wanted more. “Remove it, completely.” He tugged at her crown, moving the fabric away from her forehead. This time, she let him lower the rest of the headpiece.

  Her long, auburn tresses spilled out, and he passed his fingers through their length, inhaling gulps of jasmine oil emanating from her hair. “You feel like silk.”

  She stood still, her big, black eyes following his every movement.

  Kiss me, she ordered him.

  In a heartbeat, his mouth was on hers. His wolf growled and ran after the panther. The moment Lupo’s lips touched hers, a jolt of pure pleasure passed through his body, searing him. Never before had he felt as whole as he felt now. Lights exploded behind his eyelids.

  Mine! she exulted.

  Mine, wolf, the panther roared as she bit his wolf.

  Without having a clue of how that could have happened, Lupo had been marked.

  ****

  Ludwig circled several meters above the ledge, following the big dark-brown wolf running up and down the contour of the mountain.

  Quintilius didn’t need any protection, either in wolf or human form, but Ludwig had always liked the idea of watching over him. How many times had Quin called him his guardian angel?

  With a deafening roar, the wolf chased away a bear, and Ludwig laughed, flying lower until he landed near the animal. As Quintilius had taught him, Ludwig sat on his haunches and reached out his hand to the wolf, waiting for him to take the first step.

  Without hesitation, the wolf nudged his muzzle into Ludwig’s hand, and opened his mind to him.

  Angel.

  Yes, my wolf.

  He. Hurt.

  I know and I’m sorry.

  You?

  I hurt too.

  Love you.

  And I love you, both.

  Fix?

  I don’t know if it’s possible.

  You fix. He hurt. I hurt. Much.

  I wish I knew how to make it right.

  You fix. I know.

  Ludwig lowered his forehead to the wolf’s furry head, burrowing into his softness, drawing strength from the animal’s unconditional love and trust in him.

  The wolf raised his muzzle and licked Ludwig’s face.

  Love. I. He. You.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Jasmine?” Lupo didn’t know how to describe the pleasure he had just experienced from simply touching her lips. He hadn’t had time to coax her mouth open or to even slide his hands under that horrible gown she had called a chiton.

  Yet, for all the times he’d had sex, he had never felt the kind of transport the mere touch of her soft lips had caused. Panting, with weak knees and shaking arms, he stared at her. “What did you do to me?”

  “I made you mine,” she said, her skin flushed and her whole body shaking against his. “You won’t ever bed another girl again.”

  “Not that the thought has any appeal to me right now, but—” He caressed her back slowly to soothe her. “What did you do exactly?”

  “When Purist women kiss their mate the first time, they bind them so that they won’t be able to stand any other woman’s scent. From now on, you’ll be disgusted by anyone else’s touch that isn’t mine.”

  Lupo stared at her for a moment, trying to decide if she was joking. Then her body tensed, her eyebrows furrowed, and he had his answer. “You’re serious.”

  “Don’t ever think of kissing another girl just to test if I said the truth.” She slapped his hands away and stepped back. “I will tear her to pieces and—”

  “Slow down, my love.” He closed the gap between them and hefted her in his arms before she could complain. “I have no intention to even look at another woman for the rest of my life.” He dipped his head and brushed the tip of her nose. “You’re more than I can handle.” He walked to the couch where he had fantasized to ravage and mark her only a moment before, but lowered her on the cushion with the utmost care instead, as if she were made of delicate porcelain.

  “I love you already,” she whispered. “And it’s making me crazy.”

  “I know.” He caressed her hair, letting her tresses pass through his fingers. “It’s the mating hormones. They’re driving me insane too.”

  “My nana told me it’s because when two predestined souls meet they change each other at a molecular level.”

  “That sounds frightening,” he joked, but she didn’t like it and swatted his hands away once again.

  “It’s beautiful. Two souls who’ve mated, they’ll always find each other, no matter what happens to them. My nana told me that she met her true love when she was sixteen, but she was married to a Purist her family had chosen for her—” Jasmine paused, her eyes distant.

  A cold shiver ran through Lupo’s spine, and his wolf’s fur stood too. “What happened to her and her soulmate?”

  “She had to marry her betrothed, but the night before the ceremony, she fully mated with her true love and they marked each other.”

  “And?” Lupo asked, uneasiness descending upon him.

  “And she had that night to remember all her life,” Jasmine concluded.

  “And that was it? She and her soulmate didn’t fight for their right to be together?” Lupo’s anger came back. “What are you trying to tell me with this tale?”

  Jasmine sat up and took his face in her hands. “That I will always love you. No matter what happens.”


  “While you marry your Purist husband and I can’t even have sex with another woman?” Several images passed before his eyes. He saw Jasmine with another man, and bile rose in his stomach. Then he saw himself with a girl who wasn’t her and the sense of illness grew in intensity to the point that he couldn’t breathe for the pain and nausea.

  After the sensation abated, he stood, and towering over her he said, “I don’t think so. You are mine and I’m yours. I won’t share you.” He took her chin in his hand and raised her face to his for a hard kiss. Panting, he bumped her forehead with his. “We’ll have to run away.”

  “Good, that’s what I wanted to hear.”

  “Were you testing me?” Letting her go, Lupo closed his eyes and massaged the arch of his nose with his thumb and index finger.

  “Now I know we’re on the same wavelength.”

  “And you thought it was a good idea to bring out the worst in me?”

  “The Great Wolf and the Panther Goddess have decided we are to be one, but I had to make sure you were as willing to fight for us as I am.” She shrugged. “I don’t know you. Besides this insane need to make you mine, I have no idea who you are and how you’ll react when things go south with my tribe.”

  Her doubts offended him. “I’m a wolf. I’d give my life for my mate.”

  “As I’d give my life for you. But my nana—”

  “But nothing. With all due respect, I don’t know your nana, but had she really loved her soulmate, she would’ve burnt Rome to the ground to be with him. As he should’ve.” Although he wanted to reach down to her, he stood before the couch, legs wide and arms folded over his chest. “I wanted you even before seeing your face. I haven’t seen your body, and yet you’re the only woman I’ll ever want to make love to from now on.”

  “Because the Great Wolf—”

  “I don’t care why I feel the way I do around you. What matters to me is that we are together. Now, let’s plan your escape.”

  She kneeled on the couch and reached up for him, her arms up and her head tilted to the side. “I must go and meet my fiancé now, or you’ll be discovered.”

  His brain told him she was right, but his wolf growled his dissent. “No.” He took her in his arms.

  “Don’t be unreasonable. I must go downstairs or my mother will come up.”

  “I’m having a difficult time keeping my temper in check, my sweetness.” Tightening his hold, he let her feel how fast his heart was beating.

  She nuzzled at his chest. “You’ll have to be patient.”

  The heat of his rage burned Lupo from the inside. “I don’t want you near another man.”

  “We won’t be alone. My nana, my mother, and his mother will be with me the whole time, of course,” she said as if it was obvious.

  Something in the way she answered, put Lupo on edge. “Why does he want to see you tonight?”

  “He’s my fiancé—”

  “Tell me.”

  “Our families are finalizing the wedding ceremony’s details.”

  “Are you about to get married?” Black dots swam before Lupo’s eyes.

  “Being betrothed kind of implies a wedding.”

  “When?”

  “Next week.”

  His wolf cried and he growled. “You’re going nowhere without me.”

  “But I must!”

  Unable to articulate one more word, Lupo grabbed her wrist and dragged her to the elevator.

  ****

  The nocturnal flight back to Rome wasn’t as frantic as the way to the Dolomites, but Ludwig’s mind was still filled with a chaos of thoughts he had never experienced before. Remembering to keep a safe speed for Quintilius, Ludwig flew toward the city with the firm intent to clear his mind and savor his last chance to hold him in his arms.

  His beloved wolf’s nearness made Ludwig’s resolution easier, and for the length of the journey he was successful at putting aside his troubles. Quin’s body ran warm from his recent run and Ludwig caressed his back, content Quin let him.

  When Coppedè’s slanted roofs and pinnacles came into sight, he lowered his lips to the werewolf’s ear. “You are my only love.” Under his hands, Quintilius’s heartbeat stilled for a long moment, then it galloped into a frenzied pace.

  “As you are mine,” Quintilius said, raising his chin to stare at Ludwig’s eyes.

  No more words were needed between them. The sadness in Quintilius’s gaze said it all. This game of chasing happiness had ended, and they had both lost. But Ludwig couldn’t resign himself yet.

  He lowered his lips to Quintilius’s and kissed him, pouring his soul into a last kiss that he dragged through the whole spiraling descent to the ground. His arms held Quin closer, and he memorized the way they matched, how their bodies were meant to pleasure each other, and how he couldn’t envision being intimate with another man ever again. Despite his hedonistic nature, casual lovers didn’t appeal to him anymore. In the past, whenever he had sought instant gratification, willing bodies had sufficed, but not now. Only his wolf could quench Ludwig’s thirst.

  Sweet and sad, perfect and painful, the kiss ended when he lowered his feet to the asphalt, too soon. Still entwined, he inhaled Quin’s scent, tobacco and patchouli; to him, the perfume of love. He blinked and a solitary tear fell to his cheek.

  “Ludwig,” Quintilius whispered, and Ludwig fought the impulse to hold him tight and fly away from Rome, from Italy, from Europe, and never come back.

  For a moment, the image played in his mind like a vivid movie of what his future could be, and to Ludwig it made more sense than the political career he had planned so long ago. And that sudden whim, although born of desperation, was also a first for Ludwig, who had never thought of leaving everything and everyone behind to pursue his happiness.

  When he raised his eyes from Quintilius’s mouth, Alexander’s villa loomed at the other end of the street.

  “Let’s go meet your son.” He squeezed Quintilius’s hand and gave him a smile.

  Quintilius reciprocated the gesture, but not the smile, then released his hand but remained close to Ludwig as he walked up to the villa’s entrance.

  With a heavy heart, Ludwig hoped he could talk the cub into accepting Quintilius. If nothing else, he had to make things right between them. Once on the porch, he tucked his wings out of sight and lifted the invisibility shield before knocking on the door.

  A moment later, Pietro opened. “Master Barnes. Master Quintilius.” The majordomo’s face was pale and his movements betrayed nervousness. “Master Drako has been waiting for you.”

  In a tense silence, the older man walked them through the hall and down to the studio facing the gardens. “I’ll serve refreshments shortly. Would coffee be to your liking?”

  Both Ludwig and Quintilius nodded their assents.

  “Alexander?” Ludwig saw the Greek standing from his desk to greet them and made sign for him to remain seated. “Is everything all right?”

  Alexander slumped back on his chair. “I lost Lupo.”

  “How did that happen?” Quintilius asked, stepping forward.

  “When he realized you weren’t coming, he took off.”

  “Why didn’t you stop him?” Ludwig walked before the desk, placing himself between the two.

  “I tried, but Lupo went wolf, and I lost him as soon as he reached the end of the neighborhood.”

  “He went wolf outside of a full moon.” Quintilius grabbed the back of a chair.

  “Your son is pure alpha. His wolf was so fast, I didn’t have a chance—”

  Quintilius interrupted Drako. “He’s in more danger than I thought. If nobody taught him how to control his animal, the wolf could overtake him and make him do something he would regret for the rest of his life. We must find him before it’s too late.”

  Ludwig’s heart ached at the anguish in Quintilius’s voice.

  ****

  The weight of the previous day and night crushed Quintilius under a veil of despair so thick he didn’t know
where to start to make things right. But, among the long list of problems that needed to be addressed, his son was his priority.

  “Do you have something of Lupo’s?” Quintilius asked. His voice was controlled, but he wanted to scream.

  Drako’s eyes snapped to attention, and he nodded reaching for the phone on his desk. “Pietro, could you bring me the cub’s belongings?” Lowering the handset, he addressed Quintilius, “Do you think you can still track him? More than twenty-four hours have passed already.”

  “Alpha senses.” He pointed at his nose. He also thought that it should have been easier to follow the wolf of a son of his, since they shared genes. Tales of long lost relatives found because of their familiar scents abounded in the shifter folklore, but Quintilius had never had a chance to put that theory into practice.

  Ludwig turned to face him. “We’ll find him.”

  Quintilius nodded. He focused all his thoughts and energy on the task, and sensed the majordomo coming back from several rooms away. Before Pietro even reached the hallway, Quintilius’s nostrils dilated to take in the scent of werewolf wafting closer. His wolf paced back and forth, his fur standing on end, demanding to sprint into action.

  The moment the majordomo entered the room holding a bag in his hands, Quintilius grabbed it from him. With a loud roar, he tore the plastic open. Inside, several shredded items of clothing came into view, their smell so similar to Quintilius’s wolf’s scent it was uncanny.

  “He’s my son all right.” If Quintilius had needed any proof, now he could be sure of his paternity. “Let’s go find Lupo.”

  Without waiting for Ludwig and Alexander to follow him, he exited the studio, and retraced his steps out of the house and into the street. He brought one of the larger scraps of fabric, a piece of Lupo’s jeans, to his nose and inhaled.

  “Can you sense him?” Ludwig asked, running after him.

  “Yes.” Quintilius pivoted on his heels, following with his nose the particles of what was left of his son’s wolf’s passage. Closing his eyes, he saw the trajectory of the wolf’s run. The animal had been furious and his erratic behavior was evident in the sharp corners and about-faces he had made.