The Second Time Around

by Rowan McAllister

  “Damn,” Todd husked. “You’re the hottest thing I’ve seen round here in a long time.”

  Jordan couldn’t help himself. He preened under the compliment. He hadn’t been to a bar or hooked up with anyone from Grindr in weeks, even before his talk with his parents. And, weak as it might be, he needed someone to tell him he was desirable, even if it came from a bit of a sleaze.

  He grinned and stretched, enjoying the feel of Todd’s eyes on him. “Glad you think so.”

  “After spotting you the last time I was here, I definitely wanted a closer look.”

  Jordan wet his lips and cocked his head. “I thought you were a little preoccupied with someone else the last time you were here.”

  Todd had been angling his body closer but paused. “No. If you mean Russ, he just gets his panties in a bunch sometimes and thinks he has a right to interfere in other people’s business. Believe me, baby, you’re the only one I’m looking at.”

  The devil was still winning the argument in his head, so Jordan stood up and propped himself against the stack of bales, spreading his boots wide enough that Todd could step in close.

  “You think I’m worth looking at?”

  Todd’s hazel eyes took a lazy journey down and back up Jordan’s body. “You know you are,” he said huskily.

  It wasn’t until Todd stepped close enough to press his erection to Jordan’s thigh that reason began to return.

  What the hell was he doing?

  Yes, he was lonely. Yes, he was weak and needy and hurting and horny. But since when was he enough of any of those things to mess around with a guy he didn’t even like, less than a hundred yards away from the man’s little girls?

  Just, ew.

  Deciding the game had gone far enough, Jordan moved to extricate himself from the situation, but before he could manage to get a word out, Todd fisted Jordan’s package through his jeans… and then all hell broke loose.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Russ shouted from the door to the stall.

  “Oh shit.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  RUSS WAS so mad, he didn’t even stop to think. He grabbed Todd by the shoulder, yanked him out of the stall, and shoved him into the dirt.

  “Russ—”

  Turning on Jordan, he glared and spat, “Shut up. I’ll deal with you in a minute.”

  He swung back around, and Todd crab-walked backward a bit before scrambling to his feet. Todd put his hands out in front of him to ward off Russ’s advance and continued to back up.

  “Calm down, Russ,” Todd said, regaining some of his composure. “This isn’t any of your business.”

  “The hell—” he started to shout, but cast a quick glance at the open barn doors and lowered his voice. “The hell it ain’t,” he hissed. “This is my ranch, my home. I told you I didn’t want you here causing trouble. I told you not to come back. This ain’t a goddamned pickup spot. This is an animal rescue, and your kids are barely fifty yards away. What the hell were you thinking?”

  Hands still raised in a placating gesture, Todd replied, “All right. All right. You’re absolutely right. I didn’t come here to cruise. I swear. I had to come because the troop needed another chaperone, and Molly had a migraine this morning and couldn’t make it. Your friend over there was just flirting with me all day, and I got a little carried away.”

  “What?” Jordan gasped behind him, but Russ ignored him.

  “Get out, Todd,” Russ sighed tiredly. “If you want to cheat on your wife and risk screwing up the best thing you’re ever gonna get, that’s your business. But this ranch is mine, and you’re not gonna do it here. You got me?”

  Todd rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth to retort, but paused and glanced back and forth between Russ and Jordan. A slow smirk spread across his face. “Oh, I got it,” he said. He turned to leave but stopped and grinned over his shoulder. “If that’s how it is, Russ, you really need to keep a tighter leash on your boy there, or you’re not going to have him for long. I know how you are about faithfulness and fidelity and all that.” He laughed. “But I have to tell you, you’re betting on the wrong horse with that one.”

  Russ rolled his shoulders and spat in the dirt in the direction of Todd’s receding back. The asshole had done him a favor by dumping him all those years ago to take the straight-and-narrow path with Molly. He proved it every time he showed up. Russ felt sorry for the kids, but he hoped Todd was a better father than a husband.

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Jordan shouted belligerently behind him, and Russ’s anger spiked again.

  He rounded on Jordan and crowded him back into the stall. “Keep your goddamned voice down,” he growled. He kept going until Jordan was backed up against a wall and got right in his face. “Bad enough you were fucking around with one of the dads where anyone could walk by, you don’t have to swear loud enough for the kiddies to overhear and let everyone know what you were doing.”

  Jordan had opened his mouth, probably to argue, but clamped it shut again and winced. Russ’s smile was not pleasant. “Good. You can stop being self-centered for one damned minute, enough to think about those kids. Maybe there’s some hope for you after all.”

  “Hey!”

  “What?” Russ shot back. “Am I wrong? Were you not just in here with Todd’s hand down your pants two seconds ago, while his daughters were making bracelets not fifty yards away?”

  “His hand wasn’t down my pants,” Jordan argued petulantly, but he wouldn’t meet Russ’s eye.

  “Fine. But he was still grabbing your dick, and who knows how far you two would have gone if I hadn’t come in.”

  “It wouldn’t have gone any further.”

  “Bullshit.” Struggling to get a hold of himself, Russ took a couple steps back, rolled his shoulders, and worked his jaw. After blowing out a cooling breath, he said, “Listen. What you do on your own time, that’s your business. But pull another stunt like this, and I don’t care what emotional trauma you’re going through or who your goddamned parents are, I’ll personally kick your ass off this ranch. You hear me?”

  He spun around without waiting for a reply. He was too hot right now to listen to excuses or promises. And if Jordan decided to try to win him over with any of that fake-ass charm, Russ might really lose it and do or say something he’d regret later.

  Instead of even trying to get back to work, Russ figured he’d better take a long walk until he cooled off. The crowd at the ranch was already thinning out, people heading home to get dinner ready and let tired families decompress from a hot, busy day. He could help finish cleaning up when everyone was gone, and that way he wouldn’t have to try to make polite conversation with strangers, which was painful on a good day.

  At the first big rise overlooking the ranch, he plopped his ass down in the shade of his favorite live oak, crossed his arms and ankles, tipped his straw hat forward, and closed his eyes. A slight breeze stirred the hot, dusty air, rustling the grasses and wildflowers. Insects buzzed and clicked nearby, but most of the noise and bustle from the ranch had thankfully faded… at least until the crunch of boots on the dirt track cut in on his peaceful interlude.

  When the footsteps grew close, Russ sighed and opened his eyes to find Jordan standing over him. Jordan didn’t look guilty anymore. He looked good and mad. And Russ’s heart rate kicked up a notch.

  “Our conversation wasn’t finished,” Jordan fired.

  Russ shrugged. “It was as far as I’m concerned. Grow up or get out. I don’t think I can be any clearer.”

  “Fuck you, Russ. You didn’t even stay to hear me out. You just assumed you knew everything you needed to, judged me, and walked off, as usual.”

  “Are you trying to tell me I didn’t see you and Todd groping each other in the barn while the kiddies did their craft projects right outside?”

  Jordan groaned. “Yes, okay? I know. I fucked up,” he said, flinging his arms wide. “I’m sorry. If you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly at my best right no
w, and I was starved for a little attention, so sue me. I had a major momentary lapse in judgment, but that’s all it was, momentary. I swear I was going to put a stop to it. I’m not a complete asshole, despite what you seem to think. Todd grabbed me like a second before I was about to tell him to back off, and you stepped in all wrath-of-God, fire-and-brimstone before I could get a word out.”

  Russ snorted, climbed to his feet, and dusted off the seat of his jeans before lifting his gaze to meet Jordan’s. “I left the barn because I didn’t particularly care what your excuses were, and I still don’t. If you’re looking for a shoulder to cry on in your emotional distress, try Phyl. I’m all out of fucks to give.”

  He turned to head back to the barn, but Jordan grabbed his arm and spun him around. “What the hell is your problem?”

  Getting up in Jordan’s pretty face again, Russ growled, “My problem is guys like you thinking you can do anything you want, and because of who you are, no one will dare call you on it. My problem is poor little rich kids who think the whole damned world revolves around them and their problems. Oh, boo hoo, my mommy and daddy don’t love me enough. They only gave me a fifty-thousand-dollar red convertible for Christmas instead of the private jet I wanted. They want to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to send me to college to get a degree that would open doors pretty much anywhere for me, but that’s not what I really want for my life. Why can’t they understand?”

  Jordan dropped Russ’s arm and stepped back like Russ had slapped him. Guilt doused some of the fire in Russ’s belly. He hadn’t wanted to lash out like that, but Jordan wouldn’t let him be long enough to cool down.

  Jordan regarded him with wounded eyes for a few breaths before he croaked, “That’s really what you think?”

  Anger crept back into Jordan’s face by slow degrees as Russ tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t make things worse, but Jordan recovered quicker.

  “Fuck you, Russ. You know what? You made up your mind about me the first day I got here, based on one bit of information about me that I have no control over. Nothing I do, no matter how nice I am or how hard I work, is ever going to be good enough, is it? Nothing could possibly change your mind, with your head crammed so firmly up your ass.”

  Jordan advanced on him until they were nose to nose again. “I’m sorry, Russ. Is that what you want to hear?” he spat. “I’m sorry I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I’m sorry my parents were rich and gave me everything they thought I could possibly want. I’ve had privileges other people only dream of, so obviously, I have no right to ever be sad, or lonely, or to complain about anything. No one and nothing could possibly ever hurt me, and I sure as hell should never be so human as to make a mistake, because my parents have money, lots and lots of money.” He stepped back and hugged himself. “Who cares that I had no control over who I was born to? Who cares that none of that money is actually mine? Who cares that they set standards for me I couldn’t possibly achieve, and every penny of that oh-so-important money was taken away the second I failed… and all of their supposed love and support right along with it? Who cares that I was so afraid of losing all of that—not the money, but the rest—that I spent nearly my entire life pretending to be someone I’m not? Obviously, no one should care, because the spoiled little rich kid doesn’t deserve it.”

  Jordan’s voice caught, and he blinked rapidly. All his masks were gone, leaving only naked pain behind. Russ had done that. He’d taken someone wounded and hurt him some more. This wasn’t who he was. He wasn’t supposed to be the bad guy, but right now he sure as hell felt like it.

  Before Jordan could catch his second wind, Russ fisted a hand in Jordan’s borrowed T-shirt and dragged him into a hug. Jordan jerked in his arms and made a startled noise, but didn’t pull away. His chest heaved against Russ’s as Russ tightened his arms.

  “I’m sorry,” Russ murmured against his temple, putting as much feeling into it as he could.

  Jordan was still breathing heavily when Russ cautiously leaned back to get a peek at his face. Wounded and wary blue eyes searched Russ’s and held his gaze.

  “I’m sorry,” Russ whispered again.

  Giving in to the impulse—anything to wipe that hurt look off Jordan’s face—Russ cupped Jordan’s jaw and tentatively pressed his lips to the corner of Jordan’s mouth. Jordan jerked in his arms a second time, but didn’t pull away. Instead he turned into the kiss and sealed their lips together, opening for Russ’s tongue and giving just as good as he got. Jordan moaned into the kiss, and Russ gorged himself on the lips he’d craved since the first second he’d laid eyes on Jordan. His blood heated, and his cock stirred as Jordan’s lean, hard body molded to his.

  When Russ finally broke the kiss so they could breathe, he squinted at Jordan and braced himself, half expecting a fist in his face. He deserved it. But Jordan just stared at him as he panted for breath. Russ was the one to finally break the stand-off, as the pain and confusion slowly returned to Jordan’s gaze. He wrapped a hand around the back of Jordan’s neck and pulled him to his chest once more, and even more heartbreaking than the look on Jordan’s face was the way he sighed and shivered in Russ’s arms. Clutching him closer, Russ pressed his lips to Jordan’s temple.

  The silence stretched as Russ held him. Eventually, Jordan relaxed completely in Russ’s arms. He turned his face away and rested his cheek on Russ’s shoulder, the gesture so trusting it tore at Russ’s heart.

  With a sigh of his own, Russ repeated, “I’m sorry.”

  After letting out a shuddering breath, Jordan nodded against his shoulder.

  Resting his chin on the top of Jordan’s head, Russ’s lips slowly split into a wry grin. “You know, you’re the second person this week to tell me to get my head out of my ass.” Jordan huffed out a weak chuckle, and Russ smiled. “I guess maybe I should take that as a sign.”

  “Maybe you should,” Jordan replied without pulling away, and Russ closed his eyes.

  After a while, with Jordan making no move to break their embrace and Russ in no hurry for it to end either, despite the heat of the Texas sun beating down on them, Russ began to move his hands in soothing circles along Jordan’s back and shoulders. Jordan’s hands slid down along his flanks to grip Russ’s belt at his hips.

  “Russ?”

  “Hmm?”

  “What are we doing?”

  Russ sighed. Despite all of his best efforts at being logical and all his growls to the contrary, he couldn’t deny it anymore. He was well and truly hooked, and he supposed he had no more reason to lie about it.

  “Anything you’ll let me,” he murmured.

  Jordan lifted his head and searched Russ’s face, his perfectly shaped eyebrows drawing together above his too damned pretty blue eyes. “I really don’t understand you at all. A couple of minutes ago you were treating me like something you scraped off your boots. Now you’re holding me like you don’t want to let me go and offering me what? Whatever I want?”

  With another sigh, Russ dragged the backs of his fingers down Jordan’s cheek and smiled when Jordan didn’t pull away. “You told me to get my head out of my ass, so that’s what I’m doing. You’re right. I’ve been an asshole. I’ve been judging you based on someone I knew a long time ago. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right.”

  “I’m me, not anybody else.”

  “I know,” Russ agreed. “I’m sorry.”

  “So now what?”

  Russ’s lips quirked as he eyed Jordan hopefully. “Now I hope you forgive me and let me show you just how sorry I really am.”

  He trailed his fingers down Jordan’s back again, and Jordan drew in a quick breath. “Just like that. Now you want me?”

  He crooked a smile and shook his head. “Baby, I’ve wanted you since the second you stepped out of that shiny red sports car of yours. I just didn’t want to admit it.”

  “Yeah?” Jordan grinned. But his grin quickly faded. “You’re a hard man to figure out.”

  “Not really.
I’m pretty simple, once you get to know me…. Do you want to get to know me?”

  Jordan licked his pink and slightly swollen lips and nodded. “Yeah, I do. I’m just having a little trouble keeping up here,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m not used to switching gears quite this fast.”

  “Take your time.” Russ pursed his lips. “Only, maybe not too much time.” He chuckled, pressing his hips forward so Jordan could feel the evidence of his desire.

  Jordan’s already flushed cheeks grew a little ruddier as heat sparked in his eyes. “Okay, let’s go.”

  “You sure?” Russ teased. “I don’t want to rush you now.”

  “Move it, cowboy. You have some apologizing to do,” Jordan shot back with a grin.

  Chapter Fifteen

  APPARENTLY RUSS didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed Jordan by the wrist and set off toward the ranch. Jordan was perfectly fine with that plan. Thinking and logic were overrated anyway.

  “You know I’m not actually a cowboy,” Russ huffed conversationally as they trotted down the hill.

  “What?”

  “I don’t raise or work with cattle beyond the few bovines we have at the rescue.”

  “Uh, okay.”

  Russ had gotten him all worked up and now he wanted conversation? Was he kidding? Thinking time was done. Otherwise Jordan might realize how crazy this was and put a stop to it, or at least put on the brakes for a second while he processed… and his dick was so not interested in that plan.

  Russ just grinned over his shoulder and shook his head.

  Phyllis and a couple of people at the table looked up as Russ charged into the yard—including Todd, who was helping his little girls pack up for the day—but Russ didn’t slow down. He let go of Jordan’s wrist—seemingly his only concession to the onlookers—but he marched up the stairs and into the house without a backward glance, and Jordan followed on his heels.