Fifty Shades of Pink: An LA Lovers Novella

by Jourdyn Kelly

  Damn it. Just say it. I take a deep breath. “Do you think you could fall in love with me?” Whew. I hope she got all of that, because I said it so fast even I had a problem keeping up with myself. I peek down at her, and find her smiling brightly. That’s a good sign, right?

  “Yes.”

  She said yes. My heart does a little jump for joy, and I know I’m grinning like a fool.

  “Do you think you’ve already started falling?” Fuck. I couldn’t have just been happy with what I already learned, could I? No. My damn mouth had to keep on going. The breath I’m holding releases as soon as her hand caresses my cheek.

  “Yes,” she whispers.

  In a flash, I reverse our positions, and pin her beneath me. “You know, we are lesbians.”

  Rebecca laughs. “Really? What tipped you off?”

  “Cute. What I mean is, we should take advantage of this stereotype we have. We’ve had three dates, that means a U-Haul is totally acceptable.”

  I’m probably pushing it. In fact, the flash of anxiety in her eyes tells me I am. I can’t help it. She left me once. How do I know she won’t get scared again?

  “We have not had three dates.”

  Okay, not what I expect, but something I can work with. At least it wasn’t an outright ‘you’re crazy’.

  “Sure we have. The first two times at the club, and now. Or last night. If we make love right now, that’ll be four. Which if you need four dates, I’m totally willing to sacrifice,” I grin.

  She laughs, and shakes her head. “Sex? Sex is what constitutes a date for you?” Well, yeah. I shrug. “There was no food involved.”

  “Food? That’s a date for you? Food?”

  This is one thing different about our ages so far. Girls that I’ve gone ‘out’ with, are really only interested in one thing. Sex. They couldn’t care less if we went out beforehand. Maybe it’s not an age thing. Maybe it’s just a difference in what is really wanted out of the relationship.

  “For starters, yes,” she laughs. Rebecca wants food? That’s what she’ll get. I move to get up, and she catches me by the ass cheek. “Where are you going?”

  “To see what I have in the fridge. I’m going to make you breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” I frown. “I think maybe I have some eggs. I know I have some beer.”

  “Such a bachelor,” she mumbles playfully.

  “Not anymore,” I vow, making a mental note to stock the house with foods and items Rebecca wants. I try to get up again, but she stops me.

  “Cassidy. Don’t rush this.”

  Damn.

  “I’m not trying to, Rebecca. It’s just…”

  “You’re afraid I’ll run again,” she states, filling in the blank I left. I shrug again. That’s me. Master communicator. “And I’m afraid you’ll find someone younger, and more beautiful.”

  “Never.” There is no one more beautiful in my eyes. And her age doesn’t matter.

  “I could say the same thing to you. I’ll never leave again. I told you we would try this, and we will.” My long bangs fall over my worried eyes, and she tucks them behind my ear. “But we’re going to have to prove it to each other. If we’re going to trust each other together, we’re going to have to trust each other when we’re apart.”

  Oddly enough, that makes perfect sense to me. Not that I like it. It wasn’t just fear that prompted me to bring up the U-Haul stereotype. I loved waking up to her. I want to keep doing that.

  I give an exaggerated, resigned sigh. “I know. But you’ll still stay here sometimes, right?” A lot of times, I amend silently. If she won’t move in, maybe I can at least get her to stay more often than not.

  “Of course. We’re in our honeymoon stage,” she waggles her eyebrows at me, and I chuckle. She’s so damn cute. “We’ll be together more than we’re apart, Cassidy. We just need to know we can be apart without falling apart.”

  It sounds like she’s trying to convince herself as much as she is me. I decide to give her a break, and I agree. “No problem. We totally got this.” I kiss her soundly, eliciting a soft moan from her.

  “Totally,” she murmurs against my lips before deepening the kiss.

  My stomach, traitor that it is, chooses that moment to complain loudly that it needs food. Obviously that causes Rebecca to break the kiss out of laughter.

  “Hungry?”

  “I missed dinner last night,” I pout pathetically.

  “Aww, poor baby.” She pats my ass, giving it a little squeeze for good measure. “Up. Let’s get some food inside you.”

  “I’d rather have you inside me.” Stupid stomach decides to roar its complaint again, and I fight not to blush when Rebecca snickers.

  “You’ll have me. But you need some sustenance. I think your stamina needs a bit of a boost.”

  I’m tempted to show her just how good my stamina still is. But she’s right. If I want to keep on going like the Energizer bunny, we’re both going to need fuel.

  “Fine. Can you cook?” Me? I’m a lousy cook. Unless it’s toast. I make a mean toast. Except when I forget about it, and it comes out the consistency of charcoal.

  “I have many talents,” she answers saucily with a wink. No doubt. “However, I think even my abilities won’t be enough for possibly expired eggs and beer.”

  I grin sheepishly. She probably right about the eggs. I don’t even remember when I got them. I flop over to my back as she scoots out from under me, propping myself up on my elbows. “Want me to go pick something up?”

  “No.” Rebecca bends over—oh yeah—to pick up my shirt. I think she just realized that hers is downstairs somewhere. “I know of this great little diner not too far from here. Plus, it’s close to the gallery I was telling you about.” She pads over to the bathroom door. “It can be our first date,” she winks.

  I love the sound of that. I find myself wanting to go out with her, and show her off to the world. Maybe people will have a problem with our age difference. Maybe mom and dad will not approve. But looking at her right now, dwarfed in my shirt, hair disheveled from all of our activities the night before, nothing or no one can tell me that she’s not right for me.

  “Rebecca?”

  She pauses at the bathroom door, a small smile playing at her lips. “Yes?”

  “Will you still teach me?” As awe-inspiring as making love with Rebecca was last night, I still want what she gave me in that room. I’m not sure how to explain how free I felt, even with being tied up. My inhibitions left me, and I turned my body over to a beautiful woman whom I trust never to hurt me. At least not more than I’m physically able to handle. She has the potential to hurt me emotionally like no other. But, as Rebecca said, we’re going to have to prove to each other that we’re here to stay.

  Her eyebrows shoot up towards her hairline. “You still want to do that?”

  “Yes. Only with you.”

  The only indication that what I said affected Rebecca is the fact that her nostrils flare with desire.

  “Lay down and spread your legs, Cassidy.”

  Oh yeah. I smirk. “Yes, Mistress.”

  Guess who was the appetizer that morning. It took us a little while to get out of bed. And the shower. And bed, again. Which of course led to another shower. Trust that when Rebecca says she has many skills she’s not lying one bit.

  I SIP MY tea as the melodic sound of making a Skype call fills the air. I just left Cassidy, promising her that I would meet her again for dinner. We finally made it to Ellie’s Diner after quite a long ‘session’. Turns out, Cassidy is a very quick study, and makes an excellent Sub. I almost felt guilty this morning, doing what I was doing to her. But she assured me that it was what she wanted. We’ll have to set up some ground rules if we’re going to keep up this part of the relationship. I’ll do anything not to turn out like Samantha. Not that I think I will. I would never hurt Cassidy intentionally. Better safe than sorry.

  My thoughts are interrupted when the call is accepted, and a friendly face fills the screen.
Another session of a different kind for me today.

  “Good morning, Rebecca.”

  I smile. “Good afternoon, Dr. Woodrow.” Dr. Willamena Woodrow, psychiatrist extraordinaire. After what happened with Samantha, I needed more help than I imagined, and I found it here. How we do things is a little unconventional, but it works for us.

  She returns my smile, and I find it comforting and familiar. “The offer is still open for me finding a colleague in your area. They would be just as qualified to work with you.”

  I shake my head. She offers this to me every session, and I turn her down each time. “I like this setup. Besides, you come highly recommended.”

  “Very well,” she laughs. “How are you feeling today?”

  I can feel my mouth split into a bright, all out smile. “I’m feeling great.”

  “Well! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile like that. What—or should I say who—is the cause?”

  Oh boy. We’ve already had the Cassidy discussion, and she knows my concerns. She allowed me to talk then without interjecting with her ideas. I wonder if she’ll do that now.

  “Cassidy.”

  Her eyebrows raise. “The young woman you’ve been telling me about?”

  I roll my eyes. Of course she had to throw ‘young’ in there. “Yes.”

  “I thought you weren’t going to see her again.”

  It wasn’t a judgmental statement. I did say that. Still, it rubs me the wrong way and I scowl. “It wasn’t planned. I ran into her on the streets. Literally.” I take another sip of my tea, trying to rein in my emotions. “We spoke, and I decided to give us a try.”

  “What made you change your mind? You were pretty adamant about not dating Cassidy because she was too…”

  “Young?” I finish for her. “She changed my mind. She’s a fascinating woman. Intelligent, beautiful, funny.”

  “Rebecca, you don’t have to convince me of her attributes.”

  “She told me she loves me,” I blurt out. I didn’t think I would divulge that so quickly, but it has been on my mind since Cassidy said it. Okay, technically, she didn’t say it right out. But the implication was there. Loud and clear.

  “And how did that make you feel?”

  I come close to snorting tea out of my nose. “You are such a shrink!”

  “That’s what it says on my degree,” she winks. “Seriously, Becca, did it scare you when she said it?”

  The nickname makes me feel safe and cared for. “Sure it did, Aunt Wills. But mostly because I think I feel the same thing for her.”

  “This is awfully sudden. Not that I don’t believe it can happen this quickly. It did with your parents. I just hope you’re ready for what’s to come.”

  “Being judged?” Aunt Wills nods. “I’ve been judged most of my life. Being gay usually puts a pretty big target on your back. But Cassidy seems confident that it won’t be a big issue.”

  “And, what about you? The gap is pretty significant, Becca. You had legitimate concerns about that.”

  “I did. Do.” I answer truthfully, choosing to ignore the ‘significant’ gap comment. “But we talked quite a bit last night,” as well as doing many, many other things. “We found that we have a lot more in common than we expected.”

  “Last night? So this is a very recent development?” I nod. “I would advise you to take it slow, Becca.”

  “We discussed that. She already asked me to move in, but I think she was half joking.”

  “What did you say when she asked that?” Aunt Wills now sounds a little skeptical of my girlfriend. Girlfriend. What a heady word for me.

  “I know she’s scared that I’ll run again, and that’s what prompted her to ask. But I told her not to rush things. That we needed to trust each other apart in order to be together.” Or something like that.

  “That’s level ten psychiatry there, Becca,” she teases. “So, I take it you’re going to wait to sleep with her? Again, I should say.” Yes, my aunt knows about my sex life. She’s not much older than me, even less years than there are between Cassidy and me. That makes it easier for me to be open with her. She’s always been more like my big sister.

  I avert my eyes. “Well, um, no. We made love last night.”

  “As Rebecca or Mistress?” Mmhmm. She knows I’m a mistress. That one is still a little uncomfortable for me—and for her.

  “As me, Aunt Wills.” She nods, and writes something in her leather notebook.

  “And how did that make you feel?”

  “Shrink,” I mumble. “Safe. Loved. Amazing. I never knew it could be like that.” Another note. “You think I’m making a mistake, don’t you?”

  “Absolutely not.” Aunt Wills sighs, dropping the shrink persona. Believe me, I know the difference. I do it, too, when I switch from being Rebecca to Mistress and vice versa. “This is why they tell you never to treat your family members. You’re too invested emotionally. I promised my sister that I would look after you, Becca. I failed…”

  “Stop right there, Aunt Wills. You didn’t fail at anything.”

  “I should have seen it. I’m a psychiatrist for heaven’s sake. I should have known what Samantha was doing to you.”

  “I hid it well. You can’t blame yourself for any of that.”

  “Does Cassidy know?”

  “She knows everything,” I divulge. “And, she didn’t take off running. She said she didn’t blame me.”

  Aunt Wills nods. “I’m going to ask you one question as your psychiatrist. And, then, I’ll give you my opinion as your aunt, someone who loves you.”

  “Okay.”

  “Do you think your feelings have anything to do with the fact that she is the complete opposite of Samantha, and holds you blameless?”

  If I didn’t know that Aunt Wills also thinks I did nothing wrong, I might be offended. But she’s playing devil’s advocate. “I don’t think so. What I feel for Cassidy has nothing to do with Samantha, and everything to do with how Cassidy makes me feel.”

  “Very good.” Aunt Wills sits back in her comfy, leather chair, dropping the shrink persona again. “I love you, Rebecca. You are my niece, my sister’s daughter. All I want for you is to be happy. Judging from the smile you had when I asked how you were, Cassidy accomplishes that. It doesn’t matter to me what the age difference is. You’re both adults, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you two being together.”

  Tears sting the back of my eyes, but I will them to stay put. “Thank you.”

  She gives me a warm smile, and I can see why she’s such a successful psychiatrist.

  “When do I get to meet her?”

  Oh lord. “Um.” Heh. Cassidy is already beginning to rub off on me. Mmm. Rubbing on Cassidy. Focus! “As my aunt or my shrink?”

  “Either. Or both. If you feel she would benefit from talking to me…”

  “Let’s just keep it simple for now. I’ll tell her about you, who and what you are to me, and then she can make her own decisions.”

  “Sounds reasonable.”

  “I can be reasonable,” I laugh, and check the time. “Oh, look at that. My hour is up.”

  “I suppose you want the family discount again?”

  “Of course. Thank you for talking with me today, Aunt Wills.”

  “Any day, any time, Becca. You know that. Are you meeting Cassidy soon?”

  “Yes, for dinner. Our second date,” I grin. We say our goodbyes, and log off. I glance around my apartment. Not a bad place, but after spending the night and morning with Cassidy, I’m actually feeling kind of lonely. Not a reason to be renting a U-Haul, but definitely a reason to get ready a little early. Perhaps Cassidy and I can have a bit of an appetizer. My grin widens. Hmm. Having Cassidy as a girlfriend is going to be fun.

  This novella started out as a dare. It was actually meant to be just a quick short story that I would maybe share on my website (hence the tongue-in-cheek title). It turned out to be one of my favorite stories I’ve written. I love Rebecca and Cassi
dy (Cass if you’re not Rebecca). So much so that I’ve connected this book to my others. Rebecca and Cass return in the next LA Lovers novel.

  With all of that said, my first thank you must go to Josie. Who knew that a weird conversation would lead to this? I not only thank you for the idea/dare, but for being a beta reader, and giving me input on the cover design.

  Karen, it’s always fun having you as a beta reader. I love that you can see the characters as real people like I do. You and Josie helped me create a book that took me out of my comfort zone, and I can’t thank you enough for that. I’m happy with the results. ☺

  Writing sex scenes is by far the most difficult part of writing for me. This book—being erotica—was just one ball of difficulty. It’s a delicate balance trying to put into words the passion, as well as a vulnerability, that will make the reader connect to the characters. I hope that I have accomplished that.

  Of course, I’m always grateful for those who support me no matter what I write. I know this subject—whether it be the BDSM lifestyle or the lesbian lifestyle—is not for everyone. My goal is never to offend anyone. But I also don’t want to limit myself because of what others may think. So, to those of you who believe in the whole of my work, I thank you.

  Daisy—I’ll have to learn new ways of saying thank you for being in my corner. ☺ My genre of writing may not be your cup of tea, but that never stops you from supporting me. Maybe one day I’ll put pictures in my books. ;)

  All the Sunday Ladies—I hope you all enjoy this one. ☺ Thank you all for your continued support. #TRFL

  Angela McLaurin (Fictional Formats) —Beautiful work from a beautiful person. You know you’ll always be my go to!

  Jim McLaurin—I can’t thank you enough for being open-minded enough to read this, and fix my mistakes!

  And, my message to my readers—I know there are people who race through books like they’re the breath of life. To some, they are. I write for the same reason. I need to. I can only hope that my writing allows you an escape from the stress life can sometimes be. I would like you to always want to say “just one more chapter.” ☺ Peace, love, and light!