Addicted to Love (Bayou Devils MC Book 2)

by A. M. Myers

  “Can I come in?” he asks and I blink in surprise. He doesn’t ask permission, ever, usually just preferring to bulldoze into my life whenever he pleases.

  “I don’t think that’s such a good…”

  My words are cut off by his deep growl as he shakes his head and strides into the room anyway, brushing up against me as he passes. The scent of that damn cinnamon gum lingers even after he passes and I have no idea how I’m going to fight him.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” I snap, gripping the door tightly as I try to hold onto my anger. He grabs my glass of wine and chugs the entire thing.

  “We’re going to have a conversation.”

  I scoff. “No, we’re not.”

  “Listen, if you’re going to end things then we’re going to have a real conversation and I’m not leaving here until that happens.”

  “You can’t be serious,” I snap, glaring at him and he nods.

  “I am.”

  My jaw ticks as I stare at him and after a second, I nod and slam the door closed. “All right, Chance, you want to have a real goddamn conversation? Fine. Let’s start with why you pursued me?”

  He blinks. “What?”

  “Yeah. And then we can talk about how you manage to look me in the eye and lie so easily because it’s really something else.”

  He takes a step toward me and I back up, shaking my head.

  “What the hell are you talking about, Princess?”

  I hold a finger up, fighting back tears again. Fuck this day. “Oh, no. You don’t get to call me that anymore.”

  “Will you please explain to me what’s going on? Why did you leave the night of the party?” he asks, running a hand through his hair.

  “Seriously?” I ask, my eyes burning and my heart aching. “You’re going to act like you don’t know?”

  “I don’t know,” he insists and I’m pretty sure I hate him. “I keep thinking I need to be patient and eventually you’ll come around but each time I think we’re getting close, you shut down again! Why? Why can’t you just give this thing between us a goddamn shot?”

  Is this part of his game? Does he get off on seeing the pain he inflicted on me? My anger bubbles over and I can’t hold back anymore.

  “Why is exactly right, Chance. You want answers? Well, so do I! I want to know why you kept coming around and why you pushed me to open up to you and reveal parts of myself I never showed to anyone but most of all, I want to know why you had to go and make me fall in love with you.”

  The apartment falls silent, but I can hear my words echoing in my head and I realize my mistake a moment too late. I suck in a breath and my eyes widen as he steps toward me, his gaze filling with hope.

  “You love me?” he asks, his voice soft, a hint of a smile teasing his lips, and I shake my head.

  “No.”

  He takes another step and my back hits the wall as I try to retreat, blocking my escape.

  Fuck.

  “Then, why did you say it?” His eyes are burning with determination now and it spells out disaster for me. I thought I knew this man, thought I understood him, but nothing that’s happened since Friday night makes any sense to me.

  “I don’t know.”

  He stops in front of me, his arms caging me in. “Yes, you do. You love me.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I whisper as tears spill down my cheeks and he jerks back like I slapped him as he stares at me. Pain fills his eyes and I hate the way it makes my heart squeeze in my chest.

  “Of course, it matters,” he spits out, leaning into me, cupping my cheek in his palm. I grab his hand, pulling it away from my face as I look away. Pain radiates from my chest, stealing my breath, and it feels like it just might kill me this time. “Look at me, Carly.”

  I shake my head and he pulls his hand out of my grip before forcing my gaze back to his. The hurt I’ve been feeling since Friday night shines in his eyes.

  “It matters.”

  “It can’t,” I croak and he growls, pulling away from me. He runs a hand through his hair again before turning back to me.

  “Why?” he grits out through clenched teeth and I place my hand over my chest like I can somehow stamp out this piercing pain he’s inflicting on me. Why is he doing this? Why can’t he just go home to his wife and forget about me?

  “I only had two rules when we started sleeping together and I was ready to throw one right out the window for you so why are you making me say it?” I ask, a plea for mercy in my voice and he shakes his head.

  “Because I have no idea what it is that’s holding you back. Why won’t you give us a chance?”

  “You’re married!” I scream. “There never was a chance. We never had a chance.”

  He takes a step back, blinking in surprise. “What?”

  “Oh, God, please don’t make me say it again.”

  His gaze softens and he closes the gap between us, cradling my face in his hand again but this time, I can’t pull away from him. The truth is out now, floating between us like an invisible barrier and this is the last time I’ll ever get to be this close to him. With each beat of my heart, the pain intensifies and I wonder how I’ll ever survive falling in love with Chance Turner.

  “I’m not married, Princess,” he whispers and I rip myself out of his grip before shoving him away from me.

  “I’m not so gullible anymore, Chance.”

  He places his hand over his heart and I notice it’s his left hand. No ring. Not even a tan line where a ring once sat. “I swear to you, Carly. I’m not married. You have to believe me when I say I would never do that to you.”

  “No. I met your wife.”

  His brow furrows and he reaches out, pulling me into his arms. I can’t even fight him.

  “I think it’s time you tell me the whole story.”

  “Why?” I sneer. “Are you particularly interested in hearing how you broke my heart? Are you some kind of sadist?”

  “Carly,” he whispers and the urgency in his tone pulls my gaze to his. “I’m not married and I need you to tell me what happened.”

  With a sigh, I slam my eyes shut and take a deep breath. Fine, if he needs me to tell him the story, I will and then we can finally be done with this.

  “After we had sex, I went to the bathroom…”

  He nods. “Yeah, I remember that part.”

  “I was kind of freaking out, but I decided to give our relationship a go. When I walked out of the bathroom, a woman was sitting in the corner of the room. She asked who I was and told me she was your wife. And then she told me to stay away from you.”

  “What did she look like?”

  “Blonde hair, huge tits, and giraffe legs.”

  He sighs, running his hand through his hair. “You didn’t meet my wife, baby. That was my ex-wife, Trixie, and had I known she was going to be at the party, I would have warned you.”

  His words hit me in the chest, but I can’t decide if I should believe him or not. Is this just another lie? Another game?

  “Please believe me, Princess. Trixie and I have been divorced for a while now and we were never good together to begin with. It was a huge mistake on my part because I got impatient and lonely.”

  I don’t know what to believe. Sure, I want to trust what he’s telling me but if he is still lying to me, the heartbreak would kill me, for sure. As I study him, he sighs. Pulling his phone out, he dials a number and puts it on speakerphone.

  “Sup?” someone answers and I glance down at the screen. Kodiak.

  “Am I married?” Chance asks, meeting my eyes and the sincerity in his gaze is starting to win me over.

  “Did you run off to Vegas and marry a stripper again?” Kodiak asks and Chance shakes his head as I arch a brow in his direction.

  “Dude, this is serious. Trixie tried telling Carly that we’re still married and now she wants nothing to do with me. Oh, and you’re on speakerphone.”

  Kodiak starts laughing and Chance looks a little annoyed. “Hey, Carly
.”

  “Hi, Kodiak. Is he telling the truth?”

  “I’m afraid so, Darlin’. He married her on a whim and quickly realized his mistake. They’ve been divorced for about six months and separated for over a year.”

  Chance gives me an expectant look and I nod my head, letting him know I’m satisfied with that answer.

  “Thanks, man,” Chance says into the phone.

  “Yeah, you got it, brother. Talk to you later.”

  He hangs up and turns back to me, wrapping both his arms around my waist. “If you need more proof, we can go to my house and I’ll show you the divorce papers.”

  “No,” I whisper, shaking my head. “I believe you.”

  He smiles. “Good. Now, can we get back to the other part?”

  “Uh… which part would that be?”

  His grin grows and he walks us back until I hit the wall. “The part about how you fell in love with me.”

  As I stare up at him, I’m not sure what to say. I know he’s not married but it’s taking my heart a little bit longer to catch up and the fear that’s plagued me for so long is back – not as strong but still there. He didn’t betray me, but it still feels like a betrayal. My heart is still tender and terrified of letting him back in.

  “I’m not sure what else there is to say.”

  “Knowing I’m not married doesn’t change anything for you, does it?” he asks, studying my face. I blow out a breath.

  “Yes… and no. I know none of this is your fault, but it still hurt like hell and I’m not as eager to jump into something as I was Friday night.”

  He smiles again. “But you were ready to give us a shot?”

  “Yes,” I whisper. “I was.”

  He nods. “I’ll admit I have no idea why you’re so scared, Carly, but I’m hoping you’ll take a leap with me.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, I do, Princess. You remember when I told you about spending time with Logan and his grandparents?”

  I nod. “Yes.”

  “That’s only part of the story. Logan’s grandparents were two of the most incredible people I’ve ever met in my life and their love… it was the kind of love books and songs are written about. Being with them made me feel like I had a real family until I went back home to my mom and whatever asshole was smacking her around that week. As I got older, I wanted to find what they had and the day I met you, I did. I’ve been searching for you my entire life and I don’t think I can walk away.”

  A smile tugs at my lips. “I should have known.”

  “Should have known what?” he asks, cocking his head to the side.

  “That you wouldn’t really leave me alone like you promised in your note.”

  “I meant it when I wrote it but now, I don’t know how to make myself walk away from you… it would be like losing half of my soul.”

  When I glance back up at him again, his gaze is on my lips and he leans in, like he can’t hold back anymore. Truthfully, neither can I. Reaching up on my toes, I press my lips to his in a gentle kiss and he sighs, his hand sliding to the back of my head as the other presses against the small of my back. It’s more intimate than any other kiss we’ve ever shared and I swear, I can feel the relief pulsing through him. I had hoped that he was hurting just as much as I was and now I know for sure. Although, it doesn’t bring me as much comfort as I thought it would. He pulls away and brushes his nose across the tip of mine with a smile on his face.

  “God, I missed you.”

  I nod. “I missed you, too.”

  “I have a proposition for you,” he says, pulling away a fraction so he can meet my eyes. “How about we take this slow? You don’t have to commit to anything, but you do have to stop fighting me. Sound like a deal?”

  Sucking in a breath, I meet his eyes. “I think I can handle that.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Carly

  Chance:

  What are you in the mood for tonight?

  Me:

  You.

  Smirking, I lean back in my chair and wait for his response.

  As soon as I agreed to take things slow with him, he enforced a no sex ban on us and no matter how ridiculous I told him it was, he refused to budge. He said if we were taking it slow then sex had to be off the table since our relationship started out that way but really, he’s just trying to punish me for ignoring him for so long. Okay, so I don’t really know that for a fact, but it certainly feels that way. I missed him and I just want to lose myself in him for a little bit, remember the initial connection that made him so hard to ignore. Not that I ever forgot. My phone buzzes.

  Chance:

  You sound a little desperate, baby.

  Me:

  I am. I might even have to take drastic measures.

  A lot has changed for me since I found out Chance is not married. When he asked me to take things slow, I had assumed it would take me a while to get over the heartache I experienced when I thought I’d lost him but that isn’t the case. We’ve spent every free moment we have together and it’s like nothing has changed. My pain is forgotten and it’s almost as if the whole thing never happened. Except we’re not having sex… or talking about those three little words I kind of said to him. My phone buzzes again.

  Chance:

  Tell you what, Princess…

  You let me take you on a real

  date tonight and maybe I’ll

  satisfy your hunger afterward.

  Is this supposed to be a compromise?

  Me:

  Deal.

  “Hey, Carly,” Mercedes says, poking her head in my office and I glance up from my phone. “Ready to look over the timeline for your page?”

  My heart skips a beat and I smile as I set my phone on the desk. “Absolutely.”

  I’ve been so excited about finally getting to work on my design page and I love how enthusiastic Mercedes has been about it, too. It’s such a stark difference from working at The Times I sometimes have to pinch myself to remember that it’s real.

  Mercedes strolls into the room and sits in the chair across from me before spreading some papers out in front of her. “So, I talked to Cara and she thinks, realistically, the two of you could get something designed and ready to go within two weeks.”

  “Wow,” I mutter, reading the timeline. “That quickly?”

  “Yes, but ideally, I’d like four weeks, at least, to advertise it and really hook some businesses who would like to advertise on your page.”

  I nod. “I think I’m more comfortable with four weeks. It will give me plenty of time to come up with a few articles before the site goes live so it doesn’t look so empty.”

  “I had the same thought. Oh, and I spoke to my real estate agent. There is an apartment for sale that would be perfect for an investment property if you’re still interested in overseeing it and writing about it.”

  “Absolutely.” It’s still a little hard to believe that she’s willing to put so much trust in me but I’m excited to take on the project and make it the best I can. “What angle are you wanting on this? DIY stuff, managing an entire project like this, or something else?”

  Mercedes purses her lips, thinking it over. “I think a mix of the two. That way we cover more readers. I’m thinking I give you a budget and you do the design and hire people to do the work. You’d document every step of the process and throw in some DIY stuff that could save our thriftier readers some money.”

  I nod, anxious to get started on the project. “That sounds great.”

  “Good. We can do a walk through on Monday if that works for you.”

  I scan the calendar pulled up on my computer before nodding. “Yeah, that will work for me.”

  “Perfect. Let’s meet on Monday morning to go over the floor plan before we see the space. We can talk design then, too.”

  “You want me to have something ready by then?” I ask, panic setting in. Three days is not a lot of time to put a presentation together.

  �
�Oh, no! I just meant we can talk about what I’m looking to do with the place and what I want…”

  “Carly,” someone says from my office door, interrupting Mercedes, and I glance up, my stomach flipping at the sight of Julian Henshaw standing in my doorway. He smirks and the expression makes me uncomfortable.

  “Julian Henshaw?” Mercedes asks and he turns his attention to her. His face lights up like he wasn’t just giving me the smuggest look known to man.

  “Mercedes! It’s great to see you again. I didn’t realize you worked here.”

  Liar.

  “I own it actually. How have you been?”

  He smiles and I try not to let my disgust show. “I’m great. I’d love to catch up and tell you all about it, but do you think you could give me a moment alone with Carly?”

  She nods, her gaze bouncing between the two of us. “Of course. Come find me when you get done.”

  “You got it.”

  Mercedes flashes me a smile before leaving me alone with Julian and I drop the act, arching a brow at him.

  “What do you want?”

  He places a hand over his heart, pretending to act offended and I want to punch the pretentious prick in the face. “Now, is that any way to talk to your future brother?”

  “You might marry my sister,” I hiss through clenched teeth. “But you will never be my brother.”

  Don’t think for a second I won’t try to put a stop to the wedding.

  Julian smiles, looking more animal than man and I wonder how he conned my sister into being with him. “What’s with all the hostility, Carly? Here I thought we got along so well at dinner.”

  I shake my head, an image of Julian slapping my sister across the face popping into my mind. “I saw what you did to her that night and I saw the bruises. You can’t fool me.”

  He laughs, a big booming sound that immediately puts me on edge. I just told him I know he’s beating my sister and he laughs?

  “Oh, sweet Carly. You don’t know nearly as much as you think you do but that’s not what I’m here to talk about.”

  “Then, by all means, get on with it.” The sooner I get this snake out of my office, the better.