Twin Ties 2: Twin Affairs

by Lynn Kelling

  “You son of a….”

  Jimmy’s tone was measured, soothing, like he was talking to a crazy person. “I’m just being honest with you, Evan. And I’m not going to give you any speeches about your decisions or ask why, I know why. Yes, I do think it’s wrong. That’s just my personal opinion. I think you’re tainting what could have been a beautiful brotherly bond with sexual intimacy, but it’s not my place to judge you. That’s between you and God. My job is to be your friend.”

  “Yeah, my friend,” Evan grumbled under his breath.

  Shaken, gaze skittering around, Evan sucked hard on the stub of his cigarette. He dropped it, crushing it out with his boot heel, then lit another.

  “You’re smoking again.”

  “Fuck you!” Evan shouted; his lips pursed around the butt, gesturing with his lighter, “Really. Fuck you. Wait. Wait a minute. What the fuck does polyamory mean?”

  “You’re living it. Come on, you’re a smart kid. You can figure it out. It’s having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Does that pretty much cover it, what’s going on with you, and Alek, and Luka, and Brennan?”

  Evan whined with horror and stared up at the sky.

  “He knows about it,” Evan said quietly. “Doesn’t he?”

  “No. But maybe you should tell him, and be honest.”

  “Not fucking likely.”

  “Evan,” Jimmy sighed, wearily. “Why? Why wasn’t Alek enough for you? Why are you doing this to yourself?”

  “I love them,” Evan told him, his jaw clenched. “I love Luka, as much as I do Alek.”

  “And Brennan?”

  “That’s none of your goddamned business.”

  “Okay,” Jimmy nodded, yielding, letting Evan have the last word.

  “I need to get back.” Turning, Evan stormed away. Though he prayed quietly, Evan overheard Jimmy asking God for temperance and forgiveness for Evan and Brennan’s souls. The tall grass rustled softly as Evan moved through it.

  Alek and Luka arrived together at the house as Evan finished getting dressed in fresh clothes, the smoke-scented ones already dumped in the washer. Brennan had gone into the shower as soon as Evan had come out of the laundry room and was still there, leaving Evan on his own to handle things when the doorbell rang.

  Charlie was sitting in the living room, looking over the medical bills from Evan’s stay in the hospital, as well as his copies of the police report. Feeling woozy, blood roaring in his ears, heart pounding in his chest, Evan cleared his throat and answered the door.

  “Hey.” He nodded to his lovers, whose expressions drooped once they got a good look at him. “Come in. Bren just got back from his run, so….” He waved them inside.

  “It’s going to be fine,” Alek said softly under his breath. Seeming tense and stiff, he leaned in and placed a kiss to Evan’s temple. Then he stepped back, waiting for Evan to lead. Luka gave Evan a strained, meaningful look, as if it was taking all of his willpower to not hug Evan breathless.

  “Let’s get this over with,” Evan said, stuffing his hands in his pockets, wishing he had another cigarette. He walked them over to the living room and didn’t look up as he said, “Dad. This is Alek and Luka.”

  He thumbed back at them in that order. Absolute, icy silence filled the room. Evan’s gut churned queasily as he braced for the worst.

  Charlie was standing. He had gotten to his feet when Evan answered the doorbell, but as he digested the all-too-real sight of his sons’ lovers standing before him, hugely muscular and tall, taller than he was, broader too, and much older than he had imagined, something strange began to happen to his expression. His composure slipped and all he could do was imagine this pair of grown men touching his children.

  Blistering rage consumed Charlie. Evan, who knew damn well how to detect his father’s bad moods, sensed it. They all probably did, but it was Evan’s reaction that Charlie could read easiest. It got him to look up with much apprehension at his father. In reflex clearly borne of protectiveness, Alek rested a hand on Evan’s shoulder. There was a sort of finality in it that. For Charlie, it felt like losing his son for the last time. His little boy was gone and belonged to someone else now.

  “Dad?” Evan squeaked, betraying his age. It only made it worse.

  “How old are you? You’re twins? Why the hell didn’t you tell me they’re twins?” Charlie spat before he could bite his tongue to still it.

  “We’re twenty-five, Mr. Savage,” Luka said politely. “I’m sorry I never mentioned it when we spoke. I forget sometimes. Take it for granted, I guess.”

  “Do you know my sons are only eighteen? They’re teenagers for Christ’s sake. A few months ago this would have been statutory rape and you’d be arrested for assaulting children. Like a pedophile.”

  “Sir,” Luka started.

  “Dad!” Evan complained, insulted.

  Alek just stood his ground, meeting Charlie’s stare, not at all attempting to apologize like his brother appeared to be.

  After a glance back at the bathroom where Brennan had been holed away, Evan pulled himself up a little straighter, a determined fire burning behind eyes the color of cool waters. He looked right at Charlie and leaned into Alek, slinging an arm behind Alek’s waist.

  Alek’s lips twitched up in a victorious smile. His thumb stroked once, up and down the side of Evan’s neck. It was subtle but very effective at conveying what he likely wanted it to.

  “We’re very much aware of Evan and Brennan’s ages,” Alek said. “But they are both quite mature, given the trials they’ve both been through. I can assure you everything has been completely consensual.” It was both a jab at what Charlie had allowed to happen to his sons and acknowledgment of his and Luka’s intimate knowledge of them.

  Charlie stared at Alek’s hand on Evan, and Evan’s curled around Alek’s waist.

  “I see. So, Alek, I hear you live in my house now.”

  “I do. I didn’t think it was fair to allow Brennan to take over the duties of nursing another seriously ill person, after so recently losing his mother. And I love Evan very much. I’m committed to him in every way. All I want is for him to be healthy and happy.”

  “Dad,” Evan groaned. “Can you just give them a break? Please?”

  “We care very deeply about your sons, Mr. Savage,” Luka explained, being the good cop to Alek’s bad one. “I realize how this must look to you, but I can assure you we have their best interests at heart. If we intended to take advantage of them, we wouldn’t be here in order to get to know you, and let you get to know us. Your opinion is important to Evan and Brennan, and we know that.”

  Charlie settled slightly, holding Luka’s gaze, understanding completely why, of all people, it was Luka who had called him from the hospital, that Luka was the mediator of the bunch. He actually started to like Luka for his efforts and rationality until Brennan finally appeared, emerging from the bathroom with damp, stringy hair and eyes still puffy and bloodshot.

  Making a beeline right for Luka, before doing anything else, Brennan pulled Luka toward him, wrapping his arms around Luka’s middle and stretching up on his toes to kiss his lips. Luka cupped his hands around Brennan’s face, kissing him back and sighing with some anguish, “Baby, look at you.”

  Brennan let the moment draw out, with everyone’s attention on them. When he turned toward Charlie, he leaned against Luka’s chest, holding Luka’s hand and staring with accusation at his father.

  “I guess you all met,” he said in a voice hoarse from crying. “Since I heard shouting.”

  “We weren’t shouting,” Luka explained, “Your dad was just surprised by a few things.”

  “You hate them, don’t you?”

  “Brennan,” Charlie sighed, “I don’t hate—”

  “Just like you hate me for intruding on your perfectly arranged life with your real son.”

  Stricken, Charlie exclaimed, “No! I could never hate you! Why would you say
such a thing? You can’t really think that. Yes, I regret some of the choices Maggie and I made. I can’t ever tell you, Brennan, how much pain it causes me that I missed your entire childhood. You’re my son. You’re precious to me, and it’s only because I want you to be safe that I worry about you and the choices you make in your personal life.”

  “Because it’s so terrible to be gay?”

  Charlie set his jaw and swallowed back the first retort that came to mind. It wouldn’t have been appropriate and it would give away too much of what he wanted to keep to himself for now.

  Instead he said, “Do not put words in my mouth, boy. That’s not what I was referring to. Now, I realize you’re not used to the way I tend to speak to Evan, but because you are so very much like him, it is how I’ve automatically been speaking to you, too. I see now that’s inappropriate. I did not intend to hurt your feelings or upset you like I see I did. It’s only because I care so much about you that my inclination is to set rules for you. Yes, you are an adult now, technically, but you’re still my child, no matter your age, and your mother would never forgive me if I allowed anything to happen to you. I owe her that much, don’t you think?”

  Dumbstruck and without a comeback, possibly even placated to some extent, Brennan deflated, softening. Some of the tension left the air, allowing everyone to breathe a little easier.

  “Now, I think it’s about damn time I get to know the two people who have become so invested in your lives. How about we all head over to the steakhouse for lunch on me, and we can talk. Civilly,” Charlie suggested.

  Brennan rolled his eyes. “I’m pescetarian. I don’t eat meat.”

  “Okay, then you can choose the restaurant, Brennan. Please.”

  “Whatever,” he muttered, but led Luka by the hand to the door.

  Chapter 20

  Losing Evan

  As soon as Charlie asked to be seated at a table in the smoking section of the open-air café, Evan knew his willpower wouldn’t hold out. It was a goner.

  The five of them took their seats, with Evan next to Charlie and the other three on the opposite side of the table. Charlie pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He lit one up as they looked over their menus. The questions started to come about Alek and Luka’s backgrounds: their parents, their family, and their jobs. Evan couldn’t really bring himself to pay much attention though. His craving for a cigarette was intensely distracting. It made his skin itch.

  He stared at the cigarette pinched between Charlie’s fingers and promptly gave up any pretense of pretending like he hadn’t taken up his old bad habit that morning. Sure, he figured it would get him in trouble, especially with Alek, but Evan didn’t really expect Alek to do much about it whilst under the scrutiny of Charlie.

  Charlie stubbed out the butt of his first cigarette. Taking two more from the pack when he saw Evan eyeing it, Charlie lit the ends of both while Luka explained about his job at Sweat Gym as a personal trainer. Luka didn’t seem to notice anything amiss, too wrapped up in his story. But Alek noticed, as did Brennan. Their eyes fixed on the glowing embers and followed one of the cigarettes when it moved, as if in slow motion, through the air as Charlie passed it to Evan.

  Brennan’s mouth fell open like he was about to say something. Alek’s reaction was much speedier and more precise. Mid-drag, Evan had the offending cigarette plucked from between his lips, then Alek stubbed it out in the ashtray in the center of the table.

  Luka stopped talking abruptly. They all turned to stare at Alek and Evan.

  “Hey!” Evan complained.

  “What the hell was that?” Alek asked sternly. “After the months of work it took to quit, you just… what? Pick one up like it’s no big deal? What’s wrong with you?”

  “He had some earlier this morning, too,” Brennan mumbled, gazing down at his hands.

  Evan sputtered, “How do you know that?”

  Brennan shrugged.

  “I took a shower! I changed my clothes!”

  “I could still tell.”

  “Traitor.” Evan made an effort not to notice his father’s slightly amused expression as he took in everything, the easy bickering between Evan and Brennan and the protective and concerned tone in Alek’s voice.

  “You quit? You didn’t tell me you quit,” Charlie pointed out.

  “Well, he did,” Alek frowned. “And I’m not about to just sit here and let you start up again, after everything you went through trying to kick those damn things.”

  “I wasn’t going to keep doing it; I just needed a couple today. It’s been a hard day, all right?”

  That was an understatement if there ever was one. It had all come to a head for Evan, all of the hurt feelings and knee-jerk reactions since the attack, and since Evan and Luka had cheated on their partners with each other; all of the secret-keeping from Jimmy and now Charlie, pretending everything was fine when everything was the furthest from fine it could get. They were sitting at a table together, pretending to be a normal, happy family when they were the polar opposite of normal and above all else, Evan was sick to death of lying, pretending, and constantly bickering with those he loved. All he wanted to get him through was a goddamned cigarette and it wasn’t too much to ask in exchange for his sanity.

  “No. It’s not all right, Evan,” Alek countered, holding his ground and just as worked up as Evan, for his own reasons. It wasn’t just about the cigarette. Evan could feel it, see it in Alek’s face. “This is serious. This is your health. I wish you’d said something earlier about this, like maybe when the first craving hit. You could have called me. Maybe I— we could have helped you resist it if you talked to us first.”

  Evan rolled his eyes and slumped back in his chair, unwilling to fight or give in.

  Luka cleared his throat and attempted to continue what he was saying about being independent at such a young age, without family to rely on, but Alek interrupted after a few seconds.

  “It was really important to me to be able to pay my way, you know, rent, insurance, all of that, so—” Luka started.

  Still fully engaged in the argument, Alek blurted, hissing across the table to Evan, “How many did you have?”

  “Two. It’s not the end of the world.”

  Every word cranked the dial up another notch, increasing the tension that much more. There was only so much higher it could go before something snapped.

  Clearly angry, Alek said, “Do you really not care about this at all? Because that’s what it sounds like.”

  “Alek, maybe now is not the time to—” Luka tried.

  “You seriously aren’t upset by this? That he’s sucking tar again because of a bad day and doesn’t even regret it?” Alek countered to his brother.

  “Alek,” Luka growled quietly, shaking his head tightly once back and forth.

  “I’m upset by it,” Brennan offered.

  “Thank you, Brennan,” Alek grunted, squinting at Evan.

  Oh, that’s fantastic, Evan thought. Now they’re both ganging up on me. That’s just perfect. Brennan and Alek, making rules for my well-being once again. Telling me what I need to do for my own good.

  “Jesus Christ,” Evan groaned. Enough was enough. He stood up and walked away, weaving among the tables and heading out through the entrance to the café, away from prying eyes. Alek got to his feet and followed him.

  “Lover’s quarrel,” Luka smiled awkwardly at Charlie.

  “They do that a lot?” Charlie asked, stubbing out his own cigarette and tucking the pack away.

  “No, Alek’s just…” Luka sighed. “Let’s just say their history gives him good reason to worry about Evan. It got worse after the attack. Alek gets so afraid of Evan getting hurt or sick, he watches over Evan pretty closely. But he does it because he loves him, and because he feels kind of responsible for what happened at the bar. When he and I were growing up, he always felt it was his job to keep me safe, too, and when things didn’t go so great, he always took it to heart like it was all on him. Now with Evan, it’s the
same thing all over again. Everything bad that happens to Evan is Alek’s fault. I mean, it’s not, obviously.

  “But, Alek and I, being twins, we’re built the same way. So, before, when Alek would get upset, he’d vent to me because he knew I’d understand and it’d be done.”

  He’d push all of that turmoil at me, Luka thought, but didn’t say. Through violence, sex, words, or screaming.

  “And I’d let him,” Luka continued. “I’d invite it, because the stress would be effectively dealt with. But he can’t do that with Evan. They don’t have that twin connection for Alek to use to get his frustrations out. The last thing he’d ever want to do is hurt Evan, so he treats Evan with such care. But then his emotions just build up.”

  For a quiet moment, he watched the spaces Alek and Evan had filled at the table, afraid for them. Luka realized, suddenly, horribly, how possible it was that it might never work out between his brother and Evan. Left on their own, there was nowhere for the fear to go.

  Trying to tell himself he was wrong, wanting to be wrong, Luka at first couldn’t speak. Brennan took his hand. Charlie was listening attentively, giving Luka time to finish what he was trying to say.

  Slowly, stumbling, Luka concluded with, “He doesn’t… you know… want to lose him.”

  Trying to push his worries away, to focus on what was right in front of him rather than what he was afraid of, Luka let it go as much as he could. Luckily, he was good at that.

  “I just don’t think Evan’s used to the scrutiny, either. No offense, sir.”

  “Hmm,” Charlie grunted thoughtfully.

  Luka paused, then said to Charlie, “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Shoot.”

  “How does Evan seem to you? Compared to the last time you saw him?”

  “Hmm. I guess he seems stronger. Changed. A lot more confident. But yeah, very much changed. And a hell of a lot more like his mother.” Turning to Brennan, he added, “Is that your doing?”