by M. Clarke
“I have an awesome photographer. She brings out the hot in me. If only the one who is behind the camera would’ve picked me instead of her soon-to-be husband,”he chuckled.
Shane had been there for me when Jax and I had broken up for a bit, but his subtle flirty remarks sometimes made me wonder if he still wanted more. Out of respect for Jax, I’d stayed away from Shane and continued to be friends from a distance—if there was ever such a thing as that. Maybe I could set him up with one of my friends? I ignored his comment and continued to shoot away.
After Shane, I had another session with Tania. If I remembered correctly, she was Chloe’s friend, but she was more pleasant to work with than Chloe.
“Thanks, Rachel,”Tania said. Her long blonde hair bounced, stepping out of the white light.
“You’re welcome. Great shoot,”I said, and then started to switch the lenses.
“Hello, Chloe.”I heard Tania’s voice.
My heart raced. I looked up, but there was no Chloe. It was just Tania on the phone.“I can do lunch,”she continued.“I’m so happy you’re back in town.”
Ugh!I cringed. It wouldn’t have been so bad had Chloe moved on before I arrived in the picture, but she hated me. She blamed me for taking Jax and Jace away from her, when that was the furthest from the truth. To hear she was back in town gave me a bitter taste in my mouth. Would she want to visit Jace? Did Jax know she was here?
“Thanks, Rachel. See you next time.”Tania waved.
I waved back with a smile, snapping out of my thoughts.
“So the bitch is back. Who cares?” Stacey said, sitting across from me. She turned to her left. “Right, Becky? Tell Rachel she’s overreacting.”
Becky swallowed her salmon. “I agree with Stacey. How long are you staying, Stacey?”
Stacey placed down her glass of iced tea after taking a sip. “Hendrix wants to go back to Kauai. So one more week. The next time I’ll see all of you will be at the wedding.”
“That’s three months away.” I pouted. “You’ve been here for only a week.”
“Everyone is busy working. Hendrix wants me to only work at his restaurant. I’m bored.” She shrugged. “Besides, we came to visit everyone and get my dress fitted.”
“Any plans for you and Hendrix in the future?” Jenna asked, wiping her mouth with her napkin.
Stacey’s lips twitched. I knew that twitch. She was trying not to make it a big deal. “Not yet. We’re not in a hurry. How are the kids?” She glanced from Jenna to Becky.
Jenna’s eyes shifted back and forth from Becky to Stacey, maybe wondering if she should speak first. “Connor is almost five and Christopher is three. We’re planning on working on our third child. Hopefully a girl this time.”
Becky leaned back into her seat. “Addy is great. I can’t believe she’s almost five. Since the first adoption didn’t go through when Addy was three, we’re going to try again. I’m still hoping to adopt Mason. We’re keeping our options open and taking our time.”
“Mason?” We all squealed in accord.
Becky giggled, taking a bite of her salad. “Matthew and I are sure we want to adopt a boy. We already have a girl. Since the doctor is against me having another child due to my kidney failure, we might as well pick the sex of the child we want.”
“When do you find out?” Stacey inquired with wide eyes.
“We’ve already submitted the application. It’s a long process. I don’t want to wait too long. I was hoping it would be soon. Friends have advised me that it’s easier when they’re closer in age. I don’t know about that. But we don’t have any control of it anyway.”
“Why Mason?” Jenna asked, texting someone on her phone.
“Mason is one of my book boyfriends.”
With shocked expressions, we all laughed out loud.
Jenna looked the most surprised out of the three of us. “Matthew is okay with that?”
Becky nodded. “Yup. After I told him how Mason could shoot lightning out of his fingertips that sealed the deal. And plus, you know I can get my way.” Her brows waggled.
“Lots of sex,” Stacey muttered. Stacey never had a problem with blurting out whatever was on her mind. I was thinking the same thing, but I wouldn’t have said it out loud.
Jenna and Becky were talking about having more kids, and here I was unable to commit to having even one. Although, they were older than me. Jax and I needed to get married first. We were getting to know each other better. We already had Jace. I wasn’t sure if I could handle a brand new baby with my work schedule. I was barely handling it now.
My eyes flashed to my phone when I heard a bing sound. It was a friend request from some guy named Jonah Hutchins. Jonah Hutchins! I immediately picked up my phone and checked it out. I was rarely on Facebook so I was surprised to see that a guy I’d had a crush on in high school wanted to be my friend. I didn’t think he knew I existed.
“Something wrong?” Becky asked, leaning to take a peek at my phone.
“Remember Jonah Hutchins from high school?”
Becky snickered. “I sure do. You couldn’t stop talking about him. But I don’t blame you. He was hot. What about him?”
“He just asked me to be his friend on Facebook. I’m not on there much. I don’t know how he found me.”
“Did you accept his friendship request?” Becky asked, narrowing her eyes at me. I didn’t know if that was a scolding kind of look or a curious one.
I pressed accept. “Yup. Not a big deal. It’s not like I’m going to see him or he’s going to reach out to me.”
Stacey practically crushed her chest to the table, taking a look at his profile picture. “Oh, he’s still hot.” She nodded her head with wide eyes. “It’s easy to find friends on Facebook. He must be a friend with one of your high school friends, and then he probably found you on that list.”
Becky looked deep in thought and then came out of it. “I remember how much Rachel was in love with him. Mind you, she wasn’t the only one.”
Jenna shook her head with a longing look. “Awww, young love. You never forget the one that got away, for sure. But I don’t know what I’m talking about. I never had a major crush on anyone.”
“Uh-huh,” Becky smirked. “You can tell us. We won’t tell Max.”
“Really, Becky. You would have known by now,” Jenna urged.
Stacey looked like she had a secret to tell. Her eyes were twinkling and her lips twisted at the corner. “Don’t tell Hendrix, but my high school sweetheart and I hooked up a while back. It didn’t work out, obviously. I think the thought of hooking up with a past lover after all these years was exciting, but the spark wasn’t the same. We’ve changed so much. And to tell you the truth, I don’t know what I saw in him. I must have been really stupid.” Stacey giggled aloud and it was contagious.
I looked at my watch. “We better hurry. Our appointment is in fifty minutes. The traffic is horrible in Pasadena.”
After we had eaten, I paid for lunch, and we drove to the bridal store Becky and Jenna had used when they were getting married.
“Brings back memories, doesn’t it, Jenna?” Becky asked, glancing around, holding a shopping bag she had taken out of the trunk.
“Good afternoon, ladies. It’s so good to see you again,” Laura the store manager greeted us. She was holding a wedding dress.
I weaved around my sister. “Hi Laura, I’m here for my two o’clock appointment.”
“Rachel, I just pulled out your dress. It’s hanging in the dressing room.”
“Thanks.” I smiled.
After I had changed, I looked at my reflection. I saw a skinny girl staring back at me. The long pearl-white strapless dress fit to the curve of my breasts and dropped in an A-line to the floor. My face looked pale and there were bags under my eyes. Jace had slept between us the night before and had woken me up several times with his kicking. We had to do something about that. After taking a deep breath, I walked out.
“Oh, Rachel!” Becky clasped he
r hands under her chin and her eyes welled with tears. “My little sister is getting married. You look sooo beautiful.”
“Rachel,” Jenna cooed next. “I love your dress. Jax is going to love it.”
“I have to agree.” Stacey stared at me. “I’ve seen it like, how many times already? But it always feels like it’s the first time. I can’t wait to see the veil and everything else.”
Becky swung the Nordstrom shopping bag in front of her. “You don’t have to wait too long.” Taking out a box, she gave it to me. “Mom mailed it to me. It’s her tiara. Now you have something old.”
I blinked my eyes. “That’s Mom’s?” Happy tears blinded my vision. “I love that tiara. When I was a little girl, I would put it on my head and pretend to walk down the aisle.” I let out a snort. “So that was what she was talking about when she told me that she mailed you something, but it was for me. I’ll have to thank her. I can’t believe I’m getting married.”
Becky carefully placed it on my head. “We all felt that way, and believe me, sometimes I still can’t believe I’m married to Matthew Knight. Who would have thought my roommate had killed his fiancée, and I was to marry him. How messed up is that?”
“It’s not your fault,” Jenna said quickly. “You didn’t know. Matthew and you didn’t wish for it to happen that way. You two were just meant to be. Sometimes life puts you on a road you don’t want to be on, but then it gives you the most precious thing. You can’t refuse it because you know it was meant to be.”
“You’re right, Jenna.” Becky turned to her. “I love Matthew. We’ve been through some rough times, but we do have something precious—Addy. And I wouldn’t want to change anything.”
“Just like I wouldn’t want to change anything either. If you hadn’t convinced me to give Max a try, I don’t know what my life would be like now. Maybe I would be with someone like Luke. Maybe I wouldn’t be happy. And I can’t imagine my life without Connor and Christopher.”
I looked at the two of them. Their relationships hadn’t been fairy tales from the beginning. There were trust issues, misunderstandings, but they were able to overcome those because they loved each other. It was worth fighting for.
Stacey broke me out of my thoughts. “Here.” She placed a box in front of me.
“A present?” I narrowed my eyes at her. “What’s this for?”
Stacey shrugged her shoulders with an innocent smile. I opened the top to find a Victoria’s Secret pink box that held a garter with a blue silk ribbon woven through the middle.
“Something blue,” she said.
“Thank you so much.” I gave her a hug. “Why do we have to do this?” I threw up my hands.
Becky scowled. “For good luck, of course. Something old represents continuity. Something new offers optimism for the future. Something borrowed symbolizes borrowed happiness. And something blue stands for purity, love, and fidelity. All the ingredients you need to have an amazing future. Now you need something new. You have something borrowed from Mom. Something blue from Stacey. I’m going to give you something old.” Becky reached inside the Nordstrom bag, took out a box, and from inside the box she pulled out a long veil.
“That’s your veil.” The veil I had admired at her wedding. “I love that veil. You’re going to let me wear yours?” My hand covered my mouth, attempting to stop myself from being too emotional. Then I reached out and hugged her.
“You are my baby sister after all. You can buy one if you’d like, or you can wear mine.” Becky uncoiled it from its neat wrapping.
“I would be honored to wear yours,” I said, feeling my lips quiver. We’d had our differences when we were young, just like any siblings. But Becky was always there for me, even for the simplest of things.
Laura and Becky helped me put it on and hooked it to the tiara.
“It’s gorgeous and goes well with the dress,” Laura complimented, backing away.
I turned to get a good look at how the veil dropped down past the length of my dress, trailing behind me, and admired the tiny pearls scattered toward the bottom.
“Now you just need something new. But we have time to figure that out,” Jenna said, smiling at me.
“Thank you.” I smiled at them, feeling grateful for their love and support.
Chapter 5
Jackson
I couldn’t wait for that evening. Rachel and I had been so busy with different work schedules that we’d hardly had any time together. I wanted to make it up to her. I wanted her to know how much I loved and appreciated her. After I had lunch with Hendrix, I picked up Jace and we spent time at the park. While we were there, I asked him a bunch of questions regarding how he felt about his mom. Talking on the phone was one thing, but them actually spending time together was a whole different story.
I led my son to the bench, gesturing for him to sit down.“Jace, your mom is in town. What do you think of seeing her today?”
“Today? She’s here? Cool.”
“Cool?”I chuckled out loud. It was funny to hear a little child talking like a teenager. I was pretty sure he had picked up that word on television or at daycare. His vocabulary was expanding. I had to watch what I said around him.
“What do you think?”I asked him again. Cool was not an answer.
With his head tilted down, his legs dangled, unable to touch the ground. Shifting his body to one side, he shuffled the pebbles under his shoe.
“You don’t have to see her, but she asked. Only if you want to,”I continued when he didn’t answer.
“Okay.”Jace looked up at me with a smile.“I kind of miss her. Will Rachel get mad?”
“No, not at all.”I didn’t want to tell him that Rachel didn’t know.“I’m going to have to tell her, but she won’t be mad at you. Chloe is your mom. Rachel will understand.”
Jace gazed up at the sky as I buttoned his jacket. The puffy clouds floated against the blue. The sun settled between the clouds, giving us warmth on a cold day. We were in the middle of winter. Sometimes the weather was unpredictable in Los Angeles. Yesterday had been a perfect day.
Jace shifted his gaze to the water fountain, letting his legs rock back and forth.“Do I have to spend the night there?”
I stroked my son’s hair and dropped my arm to my side.“No. You’re going to have dinner together and I’ll pick you up before your bedtime. Does that sound good?”
“Can I bring Michelangelo with me?”
“Michelangelo?”
“My stuffed turtle—Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.”
“I thought his name was Leonardo.”
“I have three.”
“You have three? I thought you only had one.”
“Rachel bought me the other two when you were working late last week.”
“She did? You’re so lucky.”
“I know.”He snickered, showing me his dimples.
I ruffled his hair and brought him close to me. With a kiss, I said,“You can bring the whole team with you.”
“Cool,”he shouted with excitement.
I stood up and extended my hand to him.“Well, it’s time to go home.”
Jace didn’t take it. Instead, he jumped off the bench.
When we got home, I got Jace cleaned up and we set our course to see Chloe. When we got to her hotel room, I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Being a parent was difficult; being a divorced parent sharing a child was even more so.
The door opened just enough for Jace to pass through.“Jace,”Chloe exclaimed with a smile. Her tone lowered, becoming professional-like when she said my name,“Jax.”
Jace was hesitant, holding onto all three of his stuffed turtles. When Chloe bent lower and extended her arms, Jace ran into them. That was the moment when I knew I was doing right by him. How could I keep my child away from his own mother? She wasn’t a danger to him. But I would never let her have full custody of him.
Chloe stood up and met my gaze.“You look ravishing, Jax.”I was sure she was picturing me naked from
the way she looked at me.“Come in.”She opened the door wider. Why did that sound like an invitation to hell? I didn’t know if it was me, but her tone sounded a bit seductive.
For someone who wasn’t doing much today, she sure dressed like she wanted to be noticed. Wearing killer black high heels, she donned a skintight black dress that showed her cleavage and was embellished with diamonds. I didn’t know if they were real. The ones on her ears might be the ones I had given her a couple of Christmases ago. And if they were, those were real.
I couldn’t help but admire her womanly figure. Chloe was tall with long legs. She was also good at putting on her makeup. I had to admit, Chloe was beautiful, but the outside beauty alone didn’t turn me on.
I took a step in.“Here.”I handed her a backpack. Inside were Jace’s epinephrine shots, snacks, and a first aid kit I had shoved in, just in case she didn’t have anything with her. I was sure she didn’t. Having a break from being a mom for almost a year, I was pretty certain she didn’t have any kid-friendly items with her.
“Just like before,”she commented.
I ignored her words.“Remember, no peanut butter. You remember how to use the EpiPen, right? I’ll be back in three hours.”
“Yes, I know what to do. I’m his mother.”She sounded angry and then softened her tone,“Is three hours enough? We used to do it all night, remember?”She giggled, teasing me. She leaned closer to me so only I could hear.“You’re still the best fuck, Jax. No one can make me come the way you did. I still think of us.”
I wasn’t going to play into her flirting, and hell no, she was not going to use Jace to get to me. Anger boiled inside me, and I wondered again if I was doing the right thing. I leaned back so only she could hear.“Funny, I can’t recall. You must not be my best fuck.”
Chloe scoffed, but I didn’t care. After giving Jace a hug, a kiss, and promising him that I would pick him up in three hours I left, leaving Chloe with a rejected look on her face. I really didn’t give a fuck what she thought of me, or if I had hurt her feelings.