by M. Clarke
The first thing I saw in our driveway was Chloe’s car. I cringed and annoyance grew again in the pit of my stomach, but it was replaced by more cramping. Crap! After it died down, I got out of the car and entered my house. I wasn’t about to ring the doorbell. I was taking my family back.
“Rachel.” Jax whipped around, looking worried when he heard the door close behind him, and then looked at Chloe with hatred in his eyes. Chloe was walking toward the door, and it looked like Jax was going to kick her out. “Chloe is leaving. She stopped by to drop off Jace’s backpack.” His tone was cold and nonchalant.
Chloe glared at me.“Whatever, Jax. Just lie to Rachel. She’ll never believe anything you say to her anyway. She’s with Jonah now.”
Jax’s fist curled into a tight ball, his jaw tightened, and his whole body shook. Chloe was so lucky she was a woman or Jax would have punched her. I was sure he was doing it in his mind, just as I had after seeing her at the Four Seasons.
“Chloe doesn’t have to leave. Actually, I want her to stay.” Surprised by my words, they both looked at me with their jaws dropped. “We need to clear up some misunderstandings.”
“Do you want to sit down?” Jax had a difficult time meeting my eyes. I could understand.
“No,” I said softly. He flinched. Not wanting to sit down, I guessed he assumed I wouldn’t stay long. However, Chloe sat back down with an amused expression on her face.
“So, what is it that you need to clear up?” she asked sweetly, crossing her legs.
Her voice would have sounded sweet to others, only it was really revolting to me, and I wanted to vomit. Oh God! I wanted to throw up! Not now! Without thinking, I placed my hand on my stomach as if I could somehow control the urge.
“First, Jax, I need you to know that there is nothing going on between Jonah and me. Yes, he sent me all those flowers, and he has been asking me out, but he knows where he stands. He knows I love you.”
Jax raised his head to look at me. Blinking his eyes, his expression softened, and his shoulders relaxed. Before he could say anything, I continued, “I need to know if Chloe is pregnant.”
“What?”Jax slowly turned to Chloe, his eyes burning with rage. His body tensed up again.“Why would Rachel ask me that, Chloe?”His tone was soft, but deadly.
I’d never seen Chloe look so scared.“I don’t know. I didn’t tell her. It’s not my fault if she’s so gullible.”
“You didn’t tell her, but did someone hint it to Rachel?”He gritted his teeth, inching closer to her.
Before he had a chance to reach her, I continued. I had planned to spill my guts, get all the misunderstandings cleared away. No more nice Rachel. I was taking my family back.“That morning when I came home”—I cleared my throat uncomfortably at the thought of what I had seen—“there was a pregnancy test in the guest bathroom. I didn’t see the result. But Chloe did hint that she was when we did a photo shoot together at the beach”I didn’t know why I was tearing up. Hold it together. Don’t let her see how it affected you. What the hell? I’d lost my pride anyway. What good was it to hold on to it when it would only get in the way of my happiness?
“What the hell, Chloe?”The veins in his arms protruded, and I could see the dark hatred in his eyes.“You better have a good explanation for this, or I swear I’m going to kill you.”
Chloe jolted up, looking scared.“I didn’t say anything. It was her fault for snooping anyway.”
“You need to apologize to Rachel right now.”Jax was using every ounce of willpower to stop himself from doing something he might regret. I could tell by his tone and his jaw tightening.
Chloe inched closer to the door and another ripple of pain rushed through my stomach. I whimpered softly, seeing the walls closing in on me.
“For what?”She slipped on her shoes and grabbed her purse.
“For what?”he hollered.
I flinched from the loudness and harshness of his tone.
“I can’t believe I let you back in. What kind of father am I to allow someone like you back into Jace’s life? You’re a horrible mother. You manipulate. You lie. You hurt people. It’s no wonder you have no friends. It’s no wonder you can’t even get along with your mother. I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt, hoping you’d changed, but no more. When I kick you out of my house, you will never see Jace again. You are not his mother. You are one selfish bitch that only thinks about herself. You know what happens to you? You will have no one. You will live alone. You will die alone.”
I couldn’t believe all those words had come pouring out of Jax’s mouth, and I couldn’t believe Chloe was still standing there listening. My attention shifted to the guest room. My dinner had been slowly rising in my throat, and it had no place to go but out. The room started to spin and I could feel sweat prickle over my back and my forehead. Clamping my hand over my mouth, I was just about to run to the bathroom—if I could make it over there without fainting. Then I heard Chloe’s loud voice,“It’s all her fault!”
Whatever was happening seemed to move in slow motion and their voices were muffled. What was going on? My stomach...the cramping...so intense...so painful. Uncontrollable wetness trickled down between my legs...so wet. Chloe was shaking me with her arms. As I got a glimpse of her angry face, she said some things I couldn’t hear, even though she was right in front of me. Jax was pulling her hands away from me. What was wrong with me? Move to protect yourself, I demanded my body.
Next thing I knew, my dinner flew out of my mouth and all over Chloe. Jax’s effort to push me away from Chloe, and Chloe now pushing me away because of the shock of all that poured out of my mouth, knocked me to the ground. Something warm and wet pooled under my ass and the cramping continued.
“Rachel.”I heard Jax’s voice so close to me.“Rachel, you’re—”He stopped. Jax’s touch soothed me, but the pain made me wince. Darkness and light flashed in and out of my line of sight, as well as Jax’s worried face.“Chloe, call an ambulance! Now!”
“Jax.”Tears streamed down my face.
Jax held onto my hand tightly and I felt his lips pressing into it. The other hand was caressing my hair away from my face.“I’m right here, baby. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Don’t move. The ambulance is on its way. Are you in pain?”His tone was soothing and soft, but his eyes betrayed him. Panic screamed from his eyes.
Before I blacked out I whispered,“Our baby.”
Chapter 26
Jackson
Sitting in the waiting room with Jace wrapped in a blanket, I held on to him to keep me steady. Rachel’s words“our baby”kept haunting my mind. What did she mean by that? Was she talking about Jace? Or was she pregnant? Maybe she had been delusional when she fell. Surely, she wasn’t pregnant. She didn’t want to be, at least not until after we got married.
“I’m sorry, Jace.”I must have said that to him a hundred times. How could I let someone like Chloe be one of his role models? What the hell was I thinking? I wanted so much for him that I held on to wishful thoughts that had blinded me. I felt bad for bringing him to the hospital with me, but I had no choice. There was no way I was going to leave him with Chloe. When I had kicked her out of the house as the ambulance arrived, I knew she hated me. Hated me enough to kidnap Jace. It was a farfetched thought, but I was never going to give her the benefit of the doubt anymore. No fuckin’way.
“Is Rachel going to be okay? Maybe we should bring Wachel for her,”he suggested in a hoarse voice.
Somehow his comment made me smile.“We can do that when she can have visitors, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Jax.”
I stood up when I heard Becky’s voice. On the way to the hospital, I’d called her and explained the situation. It was so good to see her. Right now, she was my source of strength. I couldn’t call Rachel’s parents. They were still on vacation, I thought. Becky wore jeans and a sweatshirt, and no makeup. I had called her just as she was getting ready for bed.
“Thanks for coming
.” I felt relieved.
“I’m glad you did. You didn’t call my parents, did you?”
I shook my head.“No.”
“Good. They just arrived back from their cruise. I want to see what Rachel’s condition is before I call them. How is she?”
I rubbed the back of my neck as if I could rub the worries away.“I don’t know. We haven’t been here that long.”
“We?”She looked down.“Oh, hi Jace.”Becky kneeled down to give him a hug and stood back up.
“Think positively. She’s going to be fine. Did they say anything about the baby?”
“Baby? What baby?”
Becky looked shocked and so did I. “Oh, she didn’t tell you yet.”Her tone dipped lower and softer, looking guilty.
“It’s okay, Becky. Rachel came over so we could talk, but—”I stopped there. When I looked down, Jace was listening. It was a good thing I’d stopped. Sometimes I would forget he was old enough to understand what we were talking about. He was so curious.
Becky and I walked away, just far enough so that I could still keep my eyes on Jace.“Please Becky, tell me the truth. Is Rachel pregnant?” For some reason, my heart started pounding faster than I thought could be possible.
She looked away from me for a second and then met my eyes.“Yes. I’m going to assume she went to your place to tell you.”
Tears pooled in my eyes. I was not the type of man to cry so easily, especially around others, but this was about Rachel and...I quickly gathered myself.“I think she had planned to, but our conversation was cut short. It’s a long story.”I paused, wondering whether to ask this question, so I decided not to make it a question,“The baby is—”
Becky narrowed her eyes at me.“Don’t even ask me that question. You already know the answer, but because I think men can be clueless at times, I’m going to tell you so there are no misunderstandings. Yes,the baby is yours.”
I shoved my hands inside my jeans pockets, trying to hide that they were trembling, but I couldn’t hide my smile.“Was she happy about it?”I hesitantly asked. I should be asking Rachel, but I needed to know now.
Becky was texting. I assumed it was Matthew.“Sorry...give me a second. I’m letting Matt know that I’m here.”After she was done, she looked back at me.“I think she was in shock. And the rest, she can tell you herself. I’m not saying anything more.”She smiled.
Seeing her smile, I assumed it was good news.“Thanks, Becky, for understanding and for believing my side of the story.”
Becky tapped my shoulder.“I’ve been in Rachel’s shoes in college. And it hurts like hell; however, I know you didn’t cheat on my sister. I know you love her. As for me, my ex was an asshole. He knew what he was doing. What’s done is done. Both of you have to forgive and move forward.”
I nodded, agreeing with Becky.“Are you staying? You can go home. I’ll let you know what happens.”
Becky linked her arm in mine and led me to Jace.“I’m staying. I won’t be able to sleep anyway.”
Shortly after, a nurse came out.“Jackson Clark?”
I stood up.“I’m Jackson Clark.”
“Rachel would like to see you.”
“Go ahead,”Becky said, hugging Jace.“We’ll wait here. They won’t let him in.”
I nodded in understanding.“I’ll be right back,”I said, and followed the nurse.
Rachel
Waiting for the doctor was the hardest part. The thought of having a miscarriage invaded my mind and I couldn’t shake it. I hadn’t been taking care of myself, but in my defense, I didn’t know I was pregnant. The stress with Jax, Chloe, and everything else hadn’t helped either.
A young doctor with dark-brown hair entered. “Hello, Rachel. I’m Dr. Willow.” He shook my hand. “I’ve looked over your chart.” He looked at the chart and read from it. “You think you’re about seven weeks pregnant, but you didn’t know until a few days ago. You haven’t seen your doctor yet. You’ve been under a lot of stress. You haven’t been eating well or able to keep food down, though you’re able to eat apples and yogurt. You’ve experienced some spotting and cramping. Looks like you fainted—the reason you were brought here. Does this sum up everything that’s happened?”
I shifted my weight. “Yes. The nurse gave me a pad. I have that on right now. The cramping stopped and so has the bleeding.” My mind was blank and I didn’t know what questions to ask. In fact, I didn’t want him to say anything, so scared that he would tell me I was having a miscarriage.
“Good.” He smiled, seemingly in a hurry, but still attending to my needs. “Is Jackson your husband or boyfriend?”
“Fiancé.”
“Would it be all right if I explain the situation to the both of you?”
“Yes.”I nodded.
“Good. Then while the nurse gets Jackson, I’m going to make a few phone calls and see if I can get ahold of your doctor for you.”
After the doctor left the room, I wondered if Jax knew I was pregnant. I couldn’t recall if I had told him, and if I had, I couldn’t recall how he’d felt about it. Hearing footsteps, my heart thundered, and every muscle in my body felt like mush. My hormones were flying everywhere, and as soon as I saw Jax, tears flowed like a river.
“Rachel,” he whispered. Unsure of what to do, his arms extended, then dropped down.
I said the first thing that popped into my head. “I’m sorry, Jax.” I sobbed into the palms of my hands, feeling my whole body tremble. The lingering guilt took over me and I felt utterly lost for what to say or do.
“No.” He embraced me and I immediately melted, feeling safe, and hope slowly grew. When he let go, I fought the urge to pull him back to me. “You don’t need to apologize. I’m the one who is sorry. Are you hurt? Did the doctor say anything about the baby?”
“You know?”
“Becky told me by accident. She’s waiting for you in the waiting room.”
“He’s making a phone call to my doctor. He’ll be right back.”
Jax stroked my hair and looked at me with loving eyes, the kind of look I hadn’t seen in weeks. It had been replaced by hurt and anger. The bags under his eyes and his unshaved jaw, indicated his lack of sleep and care, and I felt awful. I was pretty sure I looked like crap too.
“There are a lot of things I wish I could have done differently,”Jax said.“A part of me wishes I had been more aggressive and forced you to come home and work it out, but I also didn’t want to give you that pressure. I wonder if us moving in together was too soon for you, especially since there was a child involved. Maybe it was too much too soon for you. I also knew you needed to work things out—whatever you were dealing with that you felt you couldn’t share with me.”
Tears continued to dampen my face, and I tilted my head low to look at my fingers. “Do you still love me?” I asked with a giant lump stuck in my throat.
Jax’s eyes widened as liquid glistened in them. He pulled back a strand of my hair away from my face. “Of course I do. I never stopped loving you, no matter how angry and hurt I was. I just wanted you to come home. I would have done anything to have you back home.”
I knew he did, but I needed to hear it. The tears fell again as I blinked. “I love you too, Jax.” My chest rose and fell to the rhythm of my gasping. It was difficult to speak. “I didn’t—have dinner with—Jonah. He was—there with Melissa. I went—to dinner with them, had to tell—Jonah that he needed to stop.” My whole body shook as uncontrollable tears kept falling.
“Shhh, it’s okay, babe. You can tell me later. It doesn’t matter anymore.” Jax held my hands and kissed each of my knuckles. He tried to comfort me, but it didn’t work. All the built up emotions that had formed into a giant bubble needed to burst. Oh boy, did it pop. I blamed it on the hormones, but the truth was I was finally healing, letting go.
“I want to go home.”
Jax looked at me, unsure of my meaning.
“Our home. I want to go home with you and Jace. I miss him. I feel so bad. I know I hurt
him too.” More tears came, and saying out loud that I’d also hurt Jace made my guilt even bigger.
“He would love that.” Jax smiled warmly, his voice almost a whisper, seeming overwhelmed by emotions. “And so would I.”
“Jackson. Rachel.” Dr. Willow walked in and shook Jax’s hand.
“How’s Rachel, and how’s the baby?” Jax asked.
“To tell you the truth, it’s too early to do an ultrasound, and too early to listen for the baby’s heartbeat. Rachel has stopped bleeding, which is a good sign; however, you might continue to bleed. It’s normal at this early stage to have your period. Believe it or not, it’s very common. Being under a lot of stress could play a role, but some women have their periods for months. I had a chance to speak to your OB/GYN. The best thing for you to do now is to go home and rest, and see your doctor tomorrow. He says to call first thing in the morning.”
“Why did she faint? What was the cause?” Jax asked. His facial muscles looked strained.
“It could be a number of things. Rachel hasn’t been eating well. The changes in her hormones also play a big role.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I’ll see my doctor tomorrow.” Wanting to get the hell out of there, I didn’t ask any more questions. Obviously, he couldn’t do much for me and he didn’t have answers to my questions.
“I wish you the best. I’m sure everything is fine.” With that, he left.
“Hey.” Jax brought my attention back around to him after my eyes had roamed to the doctor disappearing out the door. “Everything is going to be fine. Like he said, pregnant women have periods all the time. I never asked you how you felt about being pregnant. It must have been a huge shock to you.”
“It was, Jax, but a little part of me wasn’t. I was going to surprise you by telling you that I was off the birth control pills so that we could try after we got married. It’s recommended that I come off of them for some time before trying. I thought I was being safe, calculating when we should or shouldn’t have sex. I sucked at math. I should have known better.”