by M. Clarke
Jax let out a soft laugh. It was good to see him laugh, and seeing his dimples made my heart warm. “I don’t think it was your calculation. I just have powerful sperm.” He waggled his brows, and there it was—that hot, sexy smugness that sent hot tingles to my sex. “But I have to say, to hear that you wanted a child, and I didn’t force you to have one makes me happy.”
Speaking of children, I asked, “Where’s Jace?”
“Becky and Jace are waiting in the waiting room. Your sister brought you some clothes to change into. Let’s get you home.”
Chapter 27
Rachel
After I’d changed my pants, thanked Becky, and explained my situation, we went home. Jax told Jace to wash himself and stay out of our room until we opened the door. He also told him that I was pregnant and not to tell anyone. There was no way to get around that. After taking Jace to the emergency room, he had to explain to him why I was there. He would have found out sooner or later, but I would have rather it been a happier occasion when he did. Right now, we weren’t sure of anything.
I wasn’t expecting royal treatment, but I got it. Jax stepped into the shower with me and washed my hair and body. He didn’t try anything as expected, but it was way too hot, and it wasn’t from the temperature of the water.
With a wash scrubber in one hand, he glided it over every part of my body. A part of me thought he was doing it on purpose, torturing me, reminding me of what I had missed.
“Jax,” I said his name as water dripped into my mouth. His soft, gentle kisses trailing right over the middle of my body and moving to my breast, were driving me insane. “What are you doing? You’re driving me crazy.”
His tongue played with my nipple, making me shudder in the most delicious way, and then finally traveled up to my ear. “I missed you so much that it felt like someone had ripped my heart out. I died and went to hell. The torture never stopped. Everything I did, everywhere I went; the image of your face, your voice, your smell, and your smile went with me, haunting me. Even as I slept—if I even slept at all—I dreamt of us making love, kissing, caressing, licking, and fucking. Those dreams were the only thing holding me together. So right now, I’m making sure you’re real, that you’re not a figment of my imagination, and that you’re not just a dream.”
My heart hammered against my chest, faster than it already had been. His words seeped into the depth of my soul, because I understood his pain. I had died too, but it was a death I could have prevented had I been more patient and understanding. I’d let the ugliest human emotions get the best of me. Gone was my pride, jealousy, rage, and contemplating the what-ifs, and now they were replaced by love, forgiveness, and humility. And I needed to add one more to the list: hope—that the life Jax and I had created was living and breathing inside me.
“It’s not a dream, Jax. It’s not your imagination. I’m here. I’m real. And I promise to never separate our family again.” There were no words needed after that. I crushed my lips onto his when he looked at me intensely with loving eyes. We kissed in madness and in hunger for each other. It was the only kind of kiss we could give to each other. We poured out all our emotions through that kiss, and it was at that moment when we finally started to heal, not as individuals, but as a couple.
Still under the falling water, we let our heavy panting breaths steady while our foreheads rested against each other. Jax’s head tilted lower and blocked the downpour from falling on my nose and lips, so that I wouldn’t suck in the water.
“I’m going to help you out of the shower, but I’m going to need a minute to myself.”
I couldn’t help it. Looking down, I bit my lip, seeing how hard and long his dick was. God, how badly I wanted to touch him. How badly I wanted him inside me. I smirked and gave him my innocent smile.
He ran his hand down my face.“I need to get you dressed. I can’t look at you anymore. You’re tormenting me.”
“And you don’t think you are doing the same thing to me?”I giggled, gently caressing his dick.
“Rachel”—he growled, gripping my hand—“I don’t have self-control around you.”
Opening the shower door, he yanked the towel off the towel rack and draped it over me. One soft, loving smack on my ass was his way of gesturing for me to get moving. While Jax was in the shower, I got ready for bed. The thought of Chloe in my bed made me cringe, but I tucked away the pride and told myself that I had to let it go.
I hadn’t noticed when I’d walked in, but now I could see that the bed was covered in brand-new sheets and duvet. Jax must have bought new ones. Funny, seeing them gave me the feeling it was a new bed. Maybe that was the reason why Jax had done it. I had wanted to burn our bed when I saw Chloe on it. Maybe he felt the same. It would be foolish to spend all that money on a new bed when this bed was not even a year old, so I guessed buying new sheets and a duvet was almost like buying a new bed.
When Jax opened our bedroom door after he was ready for bed, Jace was half asleep leaning against the door.
“What took you so long?”he murmured sleepily. Then he shot his eyes open when he saw me.
Jace must have given me hundreds of hugs and kisses, lying in bed with me, squashed between Jax and me. Feeling his love got me all emotional again as I held him tightly in my arms.
“Dad says I can’t come in the middle of the night anymore, but I was going to tell you that I wasn’t going to do that anymore anyway. I’m five now. Big boys don’t sleep with their parents.”
“Really?”Jax questioned, raising his brow.“Who told you that?”
“Kids at daycare. I’m going to go to a real school in August.”
“It’s about time,”Jax said, chuckling.
Jace looked at him with confusion.
Jax tickled Jace’s belly.“How about you start tonight?”
Jace looked at me and placed his hand on my stomach.“I think I should start tonight. I might kick Rachel, and I don’t want to hurt the baby.”
Tears pooled in my eyes. Jace was such a great kid. He was going to be a great older brother. Please, don’t let anything happen to our precious baby, I prayed silently, staring at Jace’s warm expression as he stared at my stomach. A whole bunch of thoughts must be running through his little mind.
“How do you make a baby? How does a baby grow inside Rachel’s stomach?”
And there, it had started—the unavoidable questions. Jax and I exchanged glances with a smile, suppressing our laughter.
Jax tickled Jace again to distract him.“Let’s talk about that later.”
“Does this mean we’re still going to Kauai? And when will the baby come out? How does it come out? Am I going to have a brother or a sister?”The questions continued from Jace.
“Jace,”Jax groaned.“Go to bed, please. We’ll talk about it later. You’ll be going to the daycare late, okay?”
“Okie dokie, artichokie.”Jace jumped off the bed and came around to my side.“Goodnight, Rachel.”Planting a kiss on my cheek, he headed for the door.
“Hey. How about my kiss?”Jax opened his arms, sitting up.
Jace’s hands went straight to his hips.“Silly, Dad. I’m big now.”
Jax dropped back to the pillow with a sad sigh. “He’s growing up too fast.”
“One last kiss, Jace. For your dad,” I said, gesturing to him with a tilt of my head.
“Okay.”Jace ran back to Jax and planted a quick kiss on his cheek and took off.
Jax looked at me like I was his hero. Pulling me closer to him, we snuggled. It felt so good to be back where I belonged. How could I have thought otherwise, and how could I have allowed someone else to break us apart?
“I love to spoon you just like this,”Jax mumbled against my ear. With one hand holding my hand around my waist, all of his body was pressing against mine. “Is there anything you want to ask me or tell me to clear up any misunderstandings?”
“I’m okay with Chloe spending time with Jace. I read your letter and it made me realize I was being sel
fish. I love Jace too, and I want everything for him as you do. I may not be his mother, but I care for him as if I were. I really mean that, Jax.”
“I know,”he sighed. His warm breath brushed against my skin, soothing me.
“I get it. I really do. Our baby—we don’t know if she or he will make it, but I’m so protective over our child. I don’t want anything to happen. I just want everything to be okay.”I wiped a couple of drops that had escaped the corners of my eyes.
“Me too.”Jax’s hand slid down to my stomach. He spread his fingers apart and gently cupped it, as if he could touch the baby.“Hang on tight, little one. We can’t lose you. Your family is waiting for you. Don’t you dare give up. The Clark family never gives up.”
His words touched and moved me deeply, but also broke me. People had miscarriages all the time. It was a common thing. But I wondered how they moved forward. I guessed like anything else, they let time heal the broken heart.
“There is one condition regarding Chloe,”I continued on the topic I hated to talk about, but it had to be done. I didn’t like to set limits, but I knew Jax would understand.“I don’t want Chloe to step one foot in our house, no matter what the reason is. This is our home, our sanctuary, and she disrespected it.”
When he became quiet for a second I thought perhaps Jax would disagree, but he went along with it,“Done. Anything else?”
“Do you have my ring?”I felt so bad asking this question since I was the one that had taken it off in the first place. I was sure it had crushed his heart when he’d seen it on the dining table.
“It depends,”he teased, nibbling the side of my neck.
“Depends on what?”
“Are you going to marry me?”
“I want to be Mrs. Clark forever.”
“Good answer.”If he weren’t so nervous about losing our baby, he would have whipped me to face him. Instead, he went over me to the other side. Taking my hand, he slipped on my engagement ring.“Rachel Miller, will you marry me?”
“Yes!”I whimpered, unable to hold my tears.
“I had planned to ask you while we were in our bed. I want to take away the bad memory and replace it with something better. I wanted to burn the bed, but I knew I was being ridiculous. So I—”
I finished for him.“Replaced the sheets and the duvet instead. Much better choice. This bed cost a fortune.”
“I would have done anything for you. I thought of buying the same one and replacing this one, but it will also remind us of how strong we are. We can overcome any obstacles as long as we love each other.”Jax caressed my face, causing me to close my eyes and take a deep breath. I loved it when he did that.“Is the wedding still on? I don’t know if you canceled or—”He paused.
“It’s still on Jax. It’s not that I didn’t want to marry you. I just needed some time to myself to think things through.”Holding out my hand, I stared at the ring I’d missed so much. Out of habit, I started to twirl it after I had dropped my hand from Jax’s shoulder.
“Good.”Jax went back to his side of the bed.“Our parents don’t know what happened. I don’t want to hear an earful. Let’s keep this between us.”
“Between my sister and Matthew too,”I added.
Jax released a sigh and chuckled.“Don’t forget Max and Jenna, Hendrix and Stacey, and all the gossip-loving fashion models.”
I shrugged.“Is that all?”
“That’s all.”Jax spooned me again.
I eased into his embrace and relaxed my muscles. I thanked God that all was right with our world as I dozed off to sleep.
Chapter 28
Jackson
I dropped Jace off at daycare while I drove Rachel to her doctor’s office. Rachel had happy tears and I released a long sigh of relief when we got the great news. As for now, from what the doctor could tell from the blood and urine tests, our baby was fine. Rachel was told to take it easy and come back in two weeks.
We didn’t pick up Jace directly after the appointment. Instead, Rachel and I agreed to have lunch with Becky. We picked up some Chinese food to go and ate at home. After lunch, Becky left. She had wanted to make sure Rachel was fine. Becky had been kind enough to bring some groceries over. I lay next to Rachel in bed, staring into her eyes as we talked about the wedding and baby plans.
“When are we going to tell our parents?” I asked, lightly feathering my fingers up and down her arm, just the way she liked it.
She closed her eyes then opened them and bit her bottom lip. “My mother is going to kill me for keeping this a secret from her, but I want to wait until the day of our wedding. I will be three months by then. I’m being superstitious, but there’s a reason why people wait until after three months to tell their family and friends.”
I moved my hand to her cheeks. “I understand. But some of our family and friends already know. I told them not to tell anyone, at least not yet.”
Rachel didn’t know I had canceled my appointments for the next week. Since Matthew had arranged her schedule, giving her the week off, I thought I would do the same. Not wanting to make her feel guilty, I had kept it to myself. I wanted to be there for her and pamper her back to health. She was still throwing up and unable to keep food down at times, but at least I could be there to help.
“Well, I’m going to assume Chloe knows. I’m pretty sure she didn’t share that news with anyone.” I shrugged. We both lightly chuckled at my comment.
“I was thinking we could use the empty spare room next to Jace’s, for the baby. What do you think?”
Rachel beamed a smile. For the first time, I saw color in her cheeks. “I think it will be perfect.”
I planted a kiss on her forehead. “Blue for a boy and pink for a girl? I’m talking about the walls.”
Rachel nodded in understanding with a giggle. “Sure. Do you have any names in mind?”
I released my elbow off the pillow and rolled onto my back. Looking at the ceiling, I thought about it for a moment. “If it’s a boy...how about Jacob? We keep the J theme. And if it’s a girl, how about Rocky? We keep the R theme—Rachel and Rocky.”
She pinched the bridge of her nose and gave me a light punch. “You’re kidding, right?
I didn’t show her any expression to hint at my teasing. “No. I’m not kidding. Or Riley, Ruth, Renée, Roxanne, Raine, Roberta—”
“Roberta?” I shrieked, unable to contain my laugh. “Hell, no.”
“Roberta Clark. Now there’s a great combination.”
“Jax.” She shook me with her fist tightly gripping my shirt. “Seriously. What about Jaclyn?”
I stared at her briefly as unwanted emotions rushed through me. Sudden sadness took over for a second and I couldn’t breathe. “That’s my grandmother’s name. Did you know that?” I had spoken to Rachel about her, but I couldn’t recall if I’d ever mentioned her name.
Rachel sat up, seeming spooked by this. “No.”
I continued to gaze at her as the sun beamed around her, coming through the crack of our curtains I had opened earlier. Looking like an angel even without makeup on and her hair cascading down her face, she was breathtakingly beautiful. Reaching out to her face, I placed the palm of my hand on her cheek. No words left my mouth, but she knew what I was thinking as I stared intensely at her twinkling eyes that looked lighter in the sunlight.
“Come here.” I pulled her to me and kissed her lips gently, savoring the taste of her and making this one simple kiss last as long as it could. I couldn’t devour her like I wanted to; it would put me over the edge, and I would lose my self-control. It had been too long since we’d made love, and any trigger—a view of her ass, her seductive smile, her smell of lavender and honey, and just what she was doing now—climbing on top of me. Holy Fuck! Yup! I lost it. “Rachel,” I growled. I could feel blood pulsating through my dick, throbbing and yearning for her. “You need to rest. Don’t do this to me.”
She tossed her hair back and began to pretend to fuck me. I was damned now. But what I didn’
t expect was Rachel pulling down my pants with that seductive, naughty look. “I want to make you feel good, Jax. Just because I can’t right now doesn’t mean you can’t.”
Fuck! I wasn’t going to say no to that. I needed anything Rachel could give me. Whenever she got the green light from the doctor, have no mercy on Rachel, it would be my turn to return the favor.
“Rachel,” I cried out, “that feels so good.” My whole body shuddered in the most pleasurable way when her tongue swirled around my shaft. Her hand around my dick moved up and down and her sucking brought me to another level of pleasure. Rocking my hips to her tempo, I moaned in ecstasy and I was at the edge of no return. “Rachel. I can’t—” Reaching for her hand that was covering my dick, I pulled her up to me to give her a passionate kiss as I came.
It hadn’t taken long for me to lose my control, even though I’d wanted to last longer. Not having sex in several weeks could do that to any man. Rachel’s satisfied smile was all that I needed to see.
“I love you,” I said, cupping her face.
“I love you too,” she said.
After I released her from my arms, she rolled sideways, and I got up to clean myself. Within the few minutes it took me to wash up and come back, she was asleep. She must have been exhausted. Draping the blanket over her, I gave her a kiss on the cheek, closed the curtains, and headed downstairs.
I went to my office, checked emails, and took care of the bills. I looked up at the clock on the wall to see that an hour had passed by. After confirming that Jessica would pick up Jace for me, I was about to start making dinner plans when the doorbell rang. That couldn’t have been Jessica and Jace already. Looking out the window, I recognized the black BMW. Chloe? What the hell?
“What do you want?” I tried to keep my voice down.