Something Precious

by M. Clarke

  Jax was running around with his phone attached to his ear, making phone calls left and right. He was scurrying like a chicken with its head cut off. Next thing I knew, it was dead quiet in the house and Jax and Jace were outside.

  The front door swung open, and Jax looked like a mess. His chest rose and fell while he tried to catch his breath. He ran a hand through his hair, and then down his face to take a moment.“Babe. You need to get in the car.” His words were calm, but I knew there was a battle of confusion and excitement all tangled up inside him.

  Jax had pulled the car out of the garage. I didn’t ask him if he’d almost forgotten me. I guessed that when he had realized I wasn’t in the car, he had come to get me through the front door, or maybe he had meant to pull the car out first. Either way, I was all too glad to be on our way to the hospital.

  “We’re going to have a baby!”Holding a stuffed turtle, Jace bounced in the backseat, looking elated.

  As for me, my face was contorted, and my lips were pressed together. It was difficult not to moan when the contractions started to hit hard and the pain was taking control of me.

  “Are you in pain?”Jax asked, driving as fast as he could. With one hand on the steering wheel, the other hand was on my leg.

  I didn’t answer; instead I groaned louder, and that was my answer.

  When we finally reached the hospital, Becky was already there. The plan was for her to watch Jace. She also wanted to be there for me. After I was wheeled to my room, the nurses helped me get comfortable on the bed. They moved fast. They hooked me to an IV, fussed with me, took my blood pressure, and checked my dilation.

  “Four centimeters,”one of the nurses said.

  “The doctor is coming,”another nurse added.

  I didn’t care what they were saying. The tightness on my belly and the feeling like I was having the worst cramps of my life, were overwhelming. Everything I had learned in Lamaze class went out the door. Who the fuck cared about breathing when I was in this much pain?

  Jax grabbed my hand, watching me with a worried look in his eyes.“Breathe, babe. Long deep breaths.”

  Thank goodness Jax wasn’t the type of husband to faint or not be able to handle this particular situation. Looking into his eyes, I breathed with him.

  Inhale...exhale...inhale...exhale. That only lasted a few minutes before I felt like someone had punched me in the gut.

  “Rachel. How are you doing?”My OB/GYN, Dr. Weller, finally strolled in with a cheerful tone and the biggest smile.

  What did it look like to him?How could he ask me that question when I was moaning and grabbing my stomach?“In pain,”I managed to say, squeezing Jax’s hand. I knew I was squeezing it harder than I ever had, and harder than I meant to.

  “Let me check to see how far along you are,”Dr. Weller muttered.

  Did he not see how much pain I was in? I wondered how he could be so cheerful seeing a woman being tortured. But then again, he must have done this thousands of times. I knew I wasn’t thinking rationally, so I decided not to tell him to shut up. Boy, I hated myself, all pissed off like I was mad at the world.

  “You’re still at four centimeters,”he explained.“Would you like an epidural?”

  “Yes,”I puffed out.

  “Let me get you the anesthesiologist.”Dr. Weller looked at the nurse. Without speaking to each other, as if they could communicate through their minds, she nodded and left.

  After receiving the epidural shot, the nurse administered a catheter, and then I immediately felt my muscles relaxing. It was the greatest feeling. Oh sweet Jesus, thank you to the person who invented this drug. I bet it was a woman.

  An hour had passed by when I had the strong urgent need to push. Jax warned the nurses after I told him that I thought it was time. The whole staff walked in. Dr. Weller checked me again.

  “It’s time,” Dr. Weller announced.

  Sweat beaded on my forehead and trickled down my face. My whole body felt like it was on fire as I pushed. It felt as though every push I gave made little difference. As I tightened my stomach muscles and squeezed with all my might, I became determined to force this baby out before I fainted.

  “I can see the head,” one of the nurses said with elation. “You can do it. One more push.” She cheered me on.

  Jax didn’t say a word as he held my hand. He let me squeeze it so tightly that I was pretty sure he couldn’t feel it anymore. Instead, Jax looked into my eyes lovingly, and that was all the strength I needed. Taking in a deep breath, I pushed again, feeling my whole body shake. The feeling of hot and cold flushed through me in waves as my breath puffed out in pants.

  “One more push for me, babe. I can see our baby’s head.” Jax’s voice was calm, but his soft request gave me all the fuel I needed.

  “One more push,” the doctor said.

  He better be right, I thought because I was getting tired of hearing “one more push.”

  When Jax took my other hand, I wondered what he was doing until he spoke,

  “Last one, babe.”

  I gazed into his eyes with tears pooling in mine. This was it. Our baby would be in our arms today. With determination, I prepared myself with all my might for one more push. Both of our arms trembled from the impact of how hard I was pushing. I wanted to scream out Jax’s name, but I clamped my lips together and only funny odd sounds escaped them. Then, I heard the most beautiful music. It was the sound of our baby crying.

  Tears that had been begging not to fall streamed down my face. As we locked eyes, Jax kissed my lips and wiped the sweat off my face. When the nurse placed our baby on my chest, swaddled in a blanket, the sweetest smell wafted through my nose.

  “Hello, precious. Welcome to our family. We’re not perfect parents, but we promise to be there for you. And I promise, we will protect you, teach you, guide you, and mold you to be the amazing person I know you are meant to be.”Jax took a moment, seemingly overwhelmed with emotions.“Mommy and Daddy love you so much.”Jax’s eyes gleamed with indescribable joy. I could tell he was taking in the same smell as me when he closed his eyes; with his nose so close to the baby, his chest rose and fell. When he opened his eyes, there were no tears falling like mine, but his eyes were glistening.

  “Congratulations,”the doctor said.

  “Do you have a name picked out?”the nurse asked.

  Jax and I looked at each other, as if we were speaking through our minds. With a smile, I said,“Jaclyn Clarke.”

  Jax gently stroked her cheek and kissed her forehead.“We should name her Precious,”he teased.

  “Whichever you decide, both are very fitting for a beautiful daughter,”the other nurse said.

  Everyone gave us a few minutes to soak in this beautiful, miraculous moment. Shortly after, when it was time to go, one nurse said,“Let’s take Jaclyn to your room.”

  Chapter 33

  Rachel

  Jax entered the room with Jace. His hands were resting on Jace’s shoulders, leading him in. “Everyone is out in the waiting room. I asked them to give us a minute with Jace,” Jax informed me.

  I nodded, holding Jaclyn in my arms. Jace looked timid and moved with uncertainty as if he were sneaking up on someone. Holding onto a little turtle, he focused intensely on the pink hospital swaddle. I was pretty sure he didn’t see me. There was no acknowledgement. Finally, when he reached the bed, he gazed at me with wide eyes and silently let me know he was ready with a nod.

  “Say hello to your sister, Jace.” I didn’t know why I was crying, except for the fact that I was so overjoyed and emotional, and I didn’t know how to release it besides letting it out through tears.

  I lowered Jaclyn so Jace could get a clear view of her. Jax picked up Jace and sat him on the bed. Then I saw the most bewildered, yet fascinated smile from Jace.

  “Hi,” he said. “I’m your big brother,” he said proudly.

  There was no need for words. Jax and I exchanged glances with a warm smile.

  Jace placed a small
turtle on top of Jaclyn’s chest. “That’s for you, from me. I hope you like it. You can name it whatever you want.” Jace shivered with happiness. “When we go to Kauai, I’ll show you the real turtles. They’re super cool. I’ll teach you stuff too. And we can watch shows together. But don’t worry, if you get scared, I’ll protect you.”

  Then Jace shifted his attention to me and whispered as if not to disturb her sleep. “When Jaclyn opens her eyes, can you tell her that the turtle is from me? Her eyes are closed. Can she hear me?” He sounded concerned.

  “Don’t worry, Jace,” I assured. “I’ll make sure to let her know. That was very sweet of you.”

  Jace nodded. “She can play with all my turtles, and we can buy her new ones too.”

  “Sounds like a great idea,” I said. “Do you want to give your sister a hug?”

  Jace looked uncertain for a second, seemingly debating if it was a good idea. “Okay.” His smile brought out his dimples.

  When I lowered Jaclyn, Jace carefully and slowly wrapped his arms around her. He bent lower and kissed her cheek. Sitting there with his legs dangling, his warm smile lit up the room brighter than it already was.

  “I’ll go get everyone now. They’re very eager and waiting.” Jax showed me the texts on his phone, chuckling. Then he was out the door.

  My parents, Jax’s parents, Becky, Matthew, Stacey, and Hendrix settled in my luxurious private room. Jaclyn looked so peaceful while she was sleeping and being passed around with praises and hugs. Jace was extra protective of his little sister. He would repeat to others“hold her gently”as we had instructed him.

  “Don’t worry, Jace. I’ll be careful,”Mom humored him while cradling Jaclyn in her arms. Looking back at Jaclyn, I watched as her lips curved into a slow smile. Her eyes were full of love and happiness. “You’re so precious. You’re our Thanksgiving baby. I guess we’ll have to celebrate Thanksgiving in the hospital with you tomorrow too.”

  Stacey leaned closer to Mom.“I think she has Rachel’s eyes.”

  Hendrix moved to the other side of Mom.“I think she looks like a pretty version of Jax,”he chuckled.

  “I can’t imagine a female version of Jax.”Matthew grimaced with a playful smirk.

  Becky lightly nudged Matthew’s arm with her elbow.“Jax would make a beautiful woman.”

  “Really?”Jax sounded surprised, giving a funny sideways glance. “You know what they say—only good looking men can pull that off.”

  Hendrix slightly dipped sideways to get a better look at Jax.“Flatten your ego a bit, will ya? It’s getting crowded in here.”

  “Did I hear someone needs to flatten their ego?”Max asked, entering with Jenna beside him.“You must be talking about my brother.”

  Matthew playfully scowled at him.“It’s good to see you too, Max. My ego is checked and locked away for the moment, but if it wasn’t, there would be no room for you to walk in.”

  We all laughed at his comment.

  Jenna moved around Max to my mom.“Awww, she is beautiful. May I?”

  Mom reluctantly handed Jaclyn to her.

  “You’re right, Hendrix,”my mother-in-law said.“She does look like Jax.”

  My father-in-law waved his hand as if to stop the nonsense talk.“You can’t tell when they’re just a baby. We thought Hendrix looked like his mother when he was a baby, but he turned out to look like me.”

  “That’s why he’s so handsome,”my mother-in-law gushed. It was the first time I’d seen him blush. That kept him quiet for a while.

  As I gazed around the room, gratitude filled my heart. Jaclyn was so lucky to have so many role models around her, expressing their love for her. Having family support was an amazing feeling I never wanted to be without. I never wanted to think about what-ifs because they didn’t matter. Life was happening here and now.

  Gathered in this room, I could feel the love, hopes, and dreams taking up space, leaving no room for doubt, pain, or guilt. It was a glorious day—one that I would cherish.

  Jax sat on the edge of the bed next to me and kissed the back of my hand. “You’re amazing. You’re my precious.”

  Nine months later

  “Mom! Dad! Look!” Jace shouted.

  Alarm bells went off as Jax and I charged out from the kitchen. We were getting dinner ready for Becky’s family, so I had asked Jace to keep an eye out for his sister. It was our second time being at our Kauai home. We had scheduled our second visit at the same time Becky’s family had decided to take their vacation.

  Jaclyn was sitting on a light blanket with toys surrounding her to keep her entertained. She was perfectly safe, but Jace’s tone had startled us.

  “What? What happened?” I panicked, feeling my breath knocked out of me.

  Jace pointed to Jaclyn flat on her belly. She was cooing and smiling at us. Her little dimples were more prominent, compared to a month ago.

  “She’s trying to crawl,” Jax said with awe. “Look. She’s dragging her body to Jace.”

  Jace held up a slice of apple. “I think she wants this. But don’t worry. I won’t give it to her. It’s too big for her. She might choke.”

  “How did you become so smart?” Jax asked, still keeping his eyes on Jaclyn with a huge proud-daddy smile.

  Jace taunted his sister, holding out the apple to her. “I’m six now. And because you and Rachel always remind me.” He focused back on his sister. “Come on. Come to me. You can do it.”

  We all stared as Jaclyn struggled, moving like a worm. Her body sometimes moved in an awkward position. There was a second when I thought she was going to cry, but she kept going. She was definitely a fighter.

  Jace moved up to meet her more than halfway, most likely due to being unable to bear the grunts and moans from Jaclyn. Somehow, Jaclyn crossed that short distance and reached Jace. She rewarded him with the biggest smile, and then dropped her face onto the hardwood floor. Though the blanket was underneath her, it didn’t give her any comfort from the smack of the floor.

  Jaclyn started to bawl. I was pretty sure she was tired from all that energy she had exerted to get to Jace. I picked her up and held her tightly. Stroking her soft brown hair that grew to her shoulders, I whispered in her ear, “Shhh, it’s okay. You’ll be fine. This is just one of many you’ll have to fight through. Just make sure you have your family and friends backing you up.”

  Jaclyn had no idea what I was talking about, but it didn’t matter. There would be more life lessons coming to her from Jax, Jace, and me.

  Chapter 34

  Rachel

  Eighteen months later

  For our second-year anniversary, we decided to vacation in Kauai. Last year, we had done a European tour and decided that this year we would take it easy. Traveling with a one-year-old was difficult, not to mention all those diapers I had to pack.

  Lying on the beach blanket in our private part of the island where we’d gotten married—named by Jace as Turtle Island—I hid away from the sun under a massive beach umbrella. It was humid and scorching hot that day. As I clicked away on my camera, Jax, Jaclyn, and Jace were swimming close to shore—splashing, laughing, and having a blast. It gave me great joy to see them happy and enjoying family time.

  “It’s time for more sunscreen,” I hollered, placing my camera down.

  “Last one to Mom is a rotten egg,” Jace laughed.

  The three of them ran toward me as Jax ran behind Jaclyn. Just before they reached me, Jax picked up Jaclyn in one fast scoop.

  “I don’t want to be a rotten egg.”She began to kick and laugh from Jax’s tickle.

  “No way around it. You’re my rotten egg.”Jax cradled her and blew into her stomach. He finally let her down and dropped next to me.

  “Me first,”Jaclyn demanded, jumping up and down. She was starting to look more like me. It was strange to see a little version of myself, yet at the same time I felt awed by how she had been created by Jax and me.

  For a two-year-old, she was bossy, but then again all kids he
r age thought they were the center of the world—well, in our eyes Jace and Jaclyn were.

  After I had covered Jaclyn in sunscreen, I helped Jace, though he claimed he could do it on his own. He needed help for his back. Before they could run off again, I made sure they drank some water. This time around, Jax stayed behind. We kept an eye on them, but we weren’t that worried since the surf was very gentle today.

  Jax pulled me down into an embrace. I soaked in his love for a few seconds, then popped back up.“The kids,”I said.

  “They’re fine,”he moaned.

  I knew they were, but no matter how gentle the waves were, the motherly instinct kicked in strong.“I know, but I can’t help it.”

  Jax sat up behind me and kissed the side of my neck.“That’s why you’re an amazing mother.”

  I leaned in closer, my way of thanking him for his sweet words.

  “Mom! Dad! Look!”Jace shouted.

  Startled, we stood up and headed toward them. What I saw before me made me shiver in delight. Jaclyn was so scared she ran to Jax and flayed her arms to be held. I didn’t blame her. A family of sea turtles crawled to the shore. Where had they come from? As innocent and gentle as they were, to see a mass of them was an overwhelming sight.

  “Turtles.”Jaclyn pointed then tossed her hair back that had blown into her face from the breeze. To me, every which way she moved, her actions were so fragile and precious. Her eager wide eyes didn’t want to be distracted in any way. Feeling excited by their appearance and being this close, she trembled in Jax’s arms.

  “Perfect timing,”Jax murmured.

  “Cool,”Jace said next.

  The four of us huddled closely as not to disturb them. We stood still in silence, marveling at the beauty of these creatures. In some way, to me they radiated peace and unity. Taking in the whole scene, I was back home in Jaclyn’s bedroom. But to be standing here, instead of looking at the mural, was a whole new level of pleasure and magnificence.