Always and Forever

by Cynthia Freeman

  “Thanks, but I have to run. Some friends are coming from the city,” she alibied.

  In the car she told Jesse they were going into Manhattan.

  “We’ll catch the train in White Plains. You’ll like that, won’t you?”

  “Sure.” His eyes were bright with anticipation. “What about Daddy?”

  “He’s staying at the house.” She hesitated. “Jesse, how would you like to fly out to California to see Marge again?”

  “Wow! But what about school?” All at once he was ambivalent.

  “We’ll work that out,” she promised. Later she’d tell him that he was to go to school in San Francisco. Not today.

  Weighed down with two valises and a coat over one arm, she managed to marshall Jesse aboard a New York-bound train. Part of her mind focused on entertaining Jesse while the other tried to plot their future. Phil would be sure she was going out to Borough Park, once he realized they were gone. He’d call Mom for sure. Don’t phone Mom. Not till later.

  She called Rhoda from Grand Central Station. Praying Rhoda would be home. When she was on the point of hanging up, Rhoda’s voice responded.

  “Rhoda, I can’t say much because I’m in a phone booth in Grand Central.” Kathy half-closed the door. She’d told Jesse to stand right there and guard their luggage. “I’ve left Phil. There’s something I have to tell you before I check into a hotel. Could I—”

  “You’re not staying in a hotel,” Rhoda interrupted softly. “Hop in a cab and get over here. And don’t worry, Kathy, you’re going to be all right.” But Kathy sensed her anxiety.

  Kathy and Jesse went through the station and out to Forty-second Street, and to her relief found a cab almost immediately. At Rhoda’s apartment building she didn’t bother ringing the doorbell. A small boy on his way out held the door for them and they headed for the elevators. She was glad that Rhoda and Frank lived in an elevator building now. The valises grew heavier, it seemed, with every step she took.

  “Kathy, why didn’t you buzz so Frank could come down to help you,” Rhoda scolded and reached to hug Jesse. “Frank,” she called over her shoulder. “Come bring in Kathy’s luggage.”

  For a few moments they were caught up in greetings. Then after an exchange of sign language Frank prodded Jesse toward what was currently Frank’s home office and would in a few months become the nursery, to see their new TV set.

  “Try it out for us,” Frank told Jesse enthusiastically. “We’ll find a good program for you to watch.”

  “Kathy, your nose is all swollen—” Rhoda inspected her with sudden suspicion. “Did Phil hit you?”

  “That’s the least of it,” she said, all at once exhausted. “I have to tell you—”

  “First you’re going over to the hospital emergency room to have that nose looked at,” Rhoda insisted. “It may be broken.”

  “It’s all right. It just throbs a little. Rhoda, I—”

  “Later.” Rhoda gestured for Kathy to wait while she left the room to go down the tiny hall. “Jesse,” Kathy heard her say, “Mommie and I are going out to buy some ice cream. You stay here with Uncle Frank, okay?”

  “Chocolate?” Jesse asked.

  “Chocolate,” Rhoda promised.

  En route in a taxi to the hospital Kathy knew she’d have to wait for the privacy of the apartment to warn Rhoda and Frank about Phil’s red-smearing. They talked instead about Kathy’s going out to San Francisco.

  “I want to get as far away as possible,” Kathy said passionately. “And Marge is there. She’ll help me find an apartment and to get Jesse settled in school.” In a corner of her mind she remembered that Marge’s saleswoman was leaving to get married. Maybe she could work for Marge.

  At the emergency room Kathy’s nose was x-rayed. There was, indeed, a fracture.

  “We won’t splint it. It’ll heal by itself,” the doctor in charge told her cheerfully. “And the cut will heal. It doesn’t need stitches.”

  They stopped at a supermarket to buy chocolate ice cream, then hurried back to the house. Though she knew Jesse was safe with Frank, Kathy felt a need to be close to him.

  “Look, if Phil calls, you don’t know where I am,” she cautioned as they rode up in the elevator. How was she going to explain their sudden move to Jesse? Was he going to be upset by this unexpected change in their lives? But it was necessary.

  In the apartment Rhoda spooned out a lavish portion of ice cream for Jesse and carried it to him. She gestured to Frank to join her in the living room. Jesse was happy to continue watching TV with the added treat of chocolate ice cream.

  “I left Phil because I caught him in a terrible act.” Kathy’s throat tightened as that image flashed across her mind. “If it wasn’t for me, if you weren’t my friends, this wouldn’t be happening to you.”

  “What’s happening?” Frank was bewildered. “You know we’re happy to have you and Jesse here.”

  “I came into the house late this morning—” Kathy struggled to deliver her devastating message. “Phil was talking to somebody on the phone. He didn’t mention any names, but I knew it was one of those hate-mongering groups. People who had something to do with Red Channels or Counterattack or something like that.” What Max Lerner had called “the locust-plague of the democratic harvest.” “He was telling them about your father, Frank, about the International Brigade in Spain. And he said your wife was teaching small children and—”

  “Oh my God!” Rhoda was ashen. “Frank, I’ll be fired!”

  “We’ll both be fired.” Frank fought for calm. “It was that article, wasn’t it?”

  “Of course,” Kathy whispered. “He and his father are livid about your animal rights group, and then Phil saw the article.”

  “I’ll ask for maternity leave immediately.” Rhoda was pale but defiant. “I don’t want it on my job record that I was fired for Commie affiliations.”

  “So I’ll be fired.” Frank dropped an arm about Rhoda’s shoulders. “I’ll have time to focus on the book with no other interruptions.”

  “They’ll attack the group now,” Rhoda warned. “They’ll go after every one of us. We’re all caring people. We’ve signed petitions for human rights groups and contributed to the International Rescue Committee. Some of us even campaigned for Henry Wallace.” She laughed derisively.

  “And my father did serve with the International Brigade.” Frank was grim. “That makes us guilty by association. That’s all that’s needed today. But this can’t last. The country has to regain its sanity. Until it does, we’ll survive.”

  The three adults masked their distress lest it be transmitted to Jesse. Not until they’d had dinner and Jesse had been put to bed on the convertible sofa in Frank’s temporary office did they sit down to discuss their situation.

  “I’ll go in to the school Monday morning and ask for immediate maternity leave. They’ll be pissed,” Rhoda conceded, “but it’ll go on my record as maternity leave and not dismissal.”

  “I’ll sit it out until the magazine dumps me. If they’re going to lose advertisers, you damn well know I’ll be fired. But until that happens I’ll stay put. Thank God, we’ve been saving for that house in the country. That’ll see us through. Hopefully.” He sighed, his face etched with frustration. “How did the country get into a shape like this?”

  “Kathy, must you leave tomorrow?” Rhoda asked.

  “By now Phil has probably already called my folks. He knows we’re not there. He doesn’t know where we are. He’s going to be wild. Not because he’s remorseful or pained at the thought of losing his wife. Because I dared to walk out on him,” she jeered. “But what frightens me most, Julius is going to goad him on to try to take Jesse away from me. I know this.”

  “And you mean just to disappear.” Frank’s smile blended comprehension with compassion.

  “If I’m to keep Jesse, I have to.” Had Phil phoned Mom and Dad? They’d be so worried. “Rhoda, please call my parents. Tell them Jesse and I are fine, but that I’ve left
Phil. Say I phoned you from the airport. I’ll write when I’m relocated. Tell her it’s important that nobody knows where I am. She’ll understand.”

  Rhoda phoned the Ross apartment. Kathy hovered over her as Rhoda talked with her mother, explaining gently that Kathy had taken Jesse and left Phil. Phil had called two hours ago, she gathered from Rhoda’s response, and her mother had been mystified.

  “Rhoda, why didn’t she call me?” Kathy heard her mother’s bewildered voice.

  “She tried,” Rhoda lied, “but your phone was busy. She had to board a plane in a few minutes, so she tried me next. As soon as she can, she’ll call you. It’s important that Phil doesn’t know where she is,” Rhoda emphasized. “Kathy’s scared of an ugly custody battle. But she’s all right, Mrs. Ross.”

  Rhoda talked with Kathy’s father for a few moments, trying to reassure him. Finally she put down the phone.

  “They’re upset.” Kathy’s eyes searched Rhoda’s.

  “Not that you’re leaving Phil.” Rhoda astonished her with this admission. “Honey, we knew this was not an ideal marriage. Your parents are sensitive people—they could see that.”

  “I didn’t call them because I was afraid I’d say too much,” Kathy said. “And that Mom might be upset and repeat it to Phil. I can’t leave until Monday because I have to go to the bank and close my private savings account.” Rhoda knew about that account. “I didn’t want it near the apartment. I went to a West Side bank. It’s three blocks away.”

  “Phil won’t come here, will he?” Frank was apprehensive.

  “We just won’t answer the doorbell,” Rhoda shot back.

  “He won’t come. He wouldn’t dare.” Kathy smiled bitterly. “How can he? He’d be afraid you’d break his neck if he showed up here. He’ll know I got the message to you.”

  “What about your diamond and sapphire necklace?” Rhoda was always practical.

  “It’s at the apartment. I don’t dare go over there.”

  “Shall I go over and get it?” Rhoda asked. “I could tell the doorman you’d called me from Greenwich to bring something from the apartment.”

  “Forget the necklace.” Kathy was brusque from anxiety. “I don’t want to gamble on Phil’s having been in touch with the building. I don’t want him to know I’m here in New York, even for the weekend.” She hesitated. “I’ll have to write Alice and tell her I’ve left Phil. I’ll tell her to get in touch with Irene Hale. Irene would love to have Alice for her kids. And I’ll send her a check for three weeks’ severance pay,” she decided with sardonic amusement. “I have enough in the checking account to cover that.” Phil would be livid when the bank statements came in and he found out.

  Later, she promised herself, she would write Bella and tell her why she had left Phil. She’d send the letter to Rhoda and ask her to mail it from New York. Bella would understand.

  Sunday afternoon Kathy phoned Marge in San Francisco and reported her situation.

  “Kathy, that’s the smartest move you’ve made in years,” Marge approved, but she was somber. “What time does your flight arrive? I’ll meet you.”

  “You can’t leave the shop,” Kathy rejected. “I’ll take a taxi.”

  “I’ll put my almost ex-saleswoman in charge,” Marge said with an effort at humor. “Would you consider coming into the business with me? The shop can’t afford a good salary yet, but—”

  “Marge, I’d work for nothing!” Kathy said with a surge of anticipation. “I have enough to take care of Jesse and me for a year if I’m careful. I feel as though I’m about to be reborn. Kathy Ross is back at last.”

  Chapter 23

  “IT’S LIKE I TOLD you over the phone!” His eyes ablaze with fury, Phil spat the words at his parents. “I wouldn’t have asked you to come into the city if I thought she was just sulking. She packed up and stormed out of the Greenwich house. She hasn’t been at the apartment—I talked to the doorman. The little bitch walked out on me!”

  “Let’s go over this calmly,” Bella ordered. “What exactly happened between you and Kathy yesterday?”

  “We had a fight.” He shrugged. “She’s such a jerk about those friends of hers. You know, Rhoda and Frank.”

  “The bastard with the animal rights group?” Julius’s face tensed ominously. “The one who wrote that fucking article?” He pointed to the magazine that lay on the coffee table.

  “All right, you had a fight,” Bella sighed. “Then what?”

  “I left the house and went over to play golf. You know, a ‘tensional release.’” He used his newest phrase. “I came back late in the afternoon, and she and the kid were gone. I didn’t find the note until late in the evening when I went out to the kitchen for a beer. It just said, ‘You’ll find the car at the White Plains station.’ That’s all. Then I checked the closets. Some of her clothes were gone. Two valises were missing. I phoned Borough Park. Her mother said she wasn’t there. I don’t think she was lying. Kathy’s stalling on telling her precious family. They’ll probably think she’s out of her mind to walk out on the sweet deal she’s had for seven years.”

  “You get yourself the best damn divorce lawyer you can find,” Julius ordered. “She’s going to try to take you for fat alimony and child support payments.” He frowned. “What about the diamond and sapphire necklace? Did she walk out with that?”

  “No. I looked. The necklace is here.” He ignored his mother’s pained expression.

  “First thing tomorrow morning you find yourself a lawyer. When her lawyer comes around gloating about a fancy divorce settlement, you be ready,” Julius continued. “And what about the kid? She’s got no right walking off with your son that way. It’s kidnapping.”

  “You’ll have a hard time proving that in court,” Bella said drily.

  “You don’t let her get Jesse!” Julius rose from the depths of the burgundy velvet sofa. “That’s my grandson. She can’t take him away.”

  “Phil, what did you say that upset Kathy so?” Bella’s voice was strained.

  “For God’s sake, Mother, are you taking her side?” Phil accused.

  “It’s not like Kathy to act on impulse,” she said quietly.

  “All I did was complain about Frank’s writing that lousy article. I said, ‘What kind of a friend is he to try to cut our throats?’ And she started to rave about how she wouldn’t let me talk about him that way. She started to punch me on the arm. She was like a wild woman.”

  “Hey, is something going on between her and Frank?” Julius demanded.

  “There is nothing between Kathy and Frank but friendship,” Bella lashed out. “I don’t want to hear anything to the contrary from either of you.”

  “A hundred to one her lawyer will be calling you tomorrow or the next day,” Julius predicted. “And you tell the son-of-a-bitch you’re not handing over one dime of alimony or child support. And you’ll fight for custody of your son.”

  “Don’t use Jesse as a pawn,” Bella warned. “You know he belongs with his mother.”

  “Who says so?” Julius challenged belligerently. “Why does everybody think the child should go with the mother?”

  “How often does Phil see Jesse?” Bella taunted. “Half the time he’s out of town, and the other half he’s involved in the business or socializing.” She turned from Julius to Phil. “Don’t try to take Jesse away, Phil. He belongs with Kathy.”

  “Of course, she may come crawling back,” Julius said with a devious smile. “When she realizes she’s not walking off with fancy alimony and child support payments. In New York it’s not that easy to get a divorce. Phil, you haven’t given her any grounds for divorce?” Julius tensed in sudden suspicion. “She didn’t catch you with some broad?”

  “Dad, of course not.” Phil managed a frown of reproach. Kathy couldn’t nail him for adultery—he was always too careful for that. “What the hell does she expect from me? I gave her two beautiful homes—the apartment here and the house in Greenwich. She had the use of the family house in South
ampton. Her own Cadillac, expensive clothes, jewelry. A housekeeper and a nursemaid. She never had it so good!”

  “I’ve had enough for one day,” Bella said abruptly. “I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Phil. And don’t act like a jackass.”

  Julius waited until he heard Bella close the door to her bedroom before he spoke.

  “Phil, you’re sure she didn’t catch you with some broad?”

  “No way,” he insisted.

  “It’s kind of a shame this happened.” All at once Julius seemed ambivalent. “I mean, you and Kathy as a couple brought in a lot of publicity for the company. Roz won’t be happy about this.” His eyes narrowed in speculation. “Would you take her back?”

  “Hell, no!” Phil glared at his father. For publicity for the company the old man would do anything. “Not after what she’s pulled. And I don’t need her.” He contrived to appear simultaneously hurt and boastful. “There are plenty of beautiful women out there panting to go out with me.” Already he was envisioning himself as a sought-after playboy. “But let me tell you, Dad—” His smile was malicious and vindictive. “I’m going to make Kathy sweat. Before I’m through with her, she’ll wish she’d never met me.”

  Though distraught about her own situation, Rhoda insisted on going with Kathy and Jesse to the airport. From a phone booth at Idlewild Kathy phoned her parents and haltingly told them what had happened in the past forty-eight hours.

  “I’m all right, Mom,” she insisted. “I’ll be in touch with you soon. I don’t want to say over the phone where I’m headed. I know I sound paranoid—Phil could hardly have your phone tapped—but he mustn’t know where Jesse and I will be. I can’t take a chance on his fighting me for Jesse.”

  “Kathy, do you need money?” her father asked when her mother relinquished the phone. “We’ll wire you whatever you need.”

  “I’ve managed to put money away through the years,” she reassured him while tears filled her eyes. No recriminations from her family. Only love and support. “You’ll hear from me soon. And don’t worry,” she exhorted.