Seven Days

by Charles, Rhoda

  “Whenever I was with Milan this week, I felt like a phony,” Julian continued explaining and the pain in his face was genuine, “like I was lying to her, and in a way I have been and it's time for that to stop. Whether or not Carolyn will have me—and this isn't entirely about her, either—I just know, I feel it in my bones that my path is not with Milan. I am going to have to tell her, hours before we exchange vows, that there's not going to be a wedding.”

  Both brothers spoke at once, “What about Carolyn?” Rhys asked.

  “This is going to kill Milan,” Luke declared, the memory of their dance still fresh. “How can you be so selfish?”

  “I have to let Carolyn know how I feel. I have to risk it.”

  “And Milan?” Luke couldn't let it go, “You're going to dump her a day before the wedding. How can you do that to her?”

  “I don't want to hurt her, Luke! But I can't marry her. We're not meant to be.”

  “You're going to leave Milan and Carolyn's going to come running into your arms because she's just been waiting all these years for you to declare your deep, abiding, unspoken love for her? Is that right?”

  Julian raised his head, clearly surprised by Luke’s tone. “No, I don't expect anything from Carolyn; I want her to know how I feel. I want her to know the truth. I think that in her heart, Milan knows that we're not meant to be.”

  “You're a piece of work, Jules.”

  “Luke, lay off him. Can't you see—”

  “I can see fine, Rhys; I don't know why you can't. He's been stringing Milan along from day one. Everyone in this room knows that Jules has been into Carolyn for years, but has he ever done anything about it? No. He's always left her there as if she were some fallback interest. A backup while he played around and did whatever.

  “Tell me this, Jules, why now? Why on the day before your wedding is Carolyn all of a sudden the only woman for you? Why after all those years with Milan did it never occur to you that you two weren't meant to be?” Luke couldn’t understand why no one else in the room saw the absurdity of the situation. “There were fittings, there were invitations and all this stuff that you kept doing to prepare to marry Milan, and now is the time you choose to break things off?”

  “You're right about all but one thing. Yes, I should have realized this sooner. I should have acted on my feelings for Carolyn sooner, but I never ever considered her to be someone to get around to. I couldn't act on my feelings because I never thought I was good enough for her.”

  Luke had to walk away; he was getting so mad he couldn’t look at Julian. “And what's changed now? Has she fallen from grace?” Luke asked snidely.

  Julian took a deep breath, “Not at all. I just realized she's human too.”

  “I wish you could hear yourself speak. All this crap you’re spouting. You are messing with both of these women. I've seen how mixed up Carolyn has been this past week. You don't see it, either of you, because she comes to me with it,” Luke looked back and forth between Rhys and Julian. “Rhys, she cares too much about what you think about her to come to you with this, especially after the scene between you and him earlier this week.”

  “What are you saying?” Rhys asked, but Luke was hot and he continued laying into Julian.

  “You have been wallowing in your own self-involved world. 'What should I do? Which one do I want?'” he said in a bad imitation of Julian, “while leading on Milan, who's ready to commit her whole life to you in a few hours. You've had weeks and months and years even to figure out something that everyone else has known for years. Now that it's crunch time you decide to cut and run because, what was it you said, you've 'been a fool'? Hell, yeah!”

  “Yes, there's no excuse,” Julian admitted. “This is monumentally bad timing I know, but this is where we are now and we have to deal with it. I have to deal with it.”

  “I'm not sure what it is Milan sees in you,” Luke said looking at Julian as if for the first time, “but I certainly hope Carolyn is smart enough not to fall for your so-called charm and see this for what it is.”

  “And what is this Luke?” Julian shot back.

  The sudden challenge in Julian’s tone sent a shockwave of fury through Luke. How dare he act as if what he was about to do to Milan was justifiable? Luke closed the gap between them in two steps, his approach so menacing that Rhys rushed to get between them. He ignored his brother’s hand pushing against his chest. If they were speaking truth now, then he’d say his piece.

  “This is Julian wanting something he can't have! The reason you've never made a move on Carolyn is because you know she doesn't want you, and you can't stand the thought of her saying ‘no’ to you. You can't stand the thought of not getting what you want!”

  Julian glared at him for a tense moment but said nothing. When he looked away Luke pushed Rhys’ hand aside.

  “Milan deserves better and I really thought you were a better man than this to treat her this way.” Luke headed for the door.

  “Where are you going?” Rhys asked, following him.

  He resisted the urge to snap out a smart remark and took a steadying breath before answering. Rhys wasn’t to blame for this. “I'm going to find Carolyn and warn her to stay away from him and then I'm going to check on Milan.”

  “Luke, however you may feel about this, it's between Milan and Julian. You stay out of this. He needs to tell her, not you. You hear me?”

  Everything inside him was crying to get to Milan and protect her from this hurt, but he knew Rhys was right on this point. It wasn’t his place to tell her. He would not be the one to break her heart today. He gave his brother a hard nod, “I'm going to find Carolyn,” he turned to Julian, “as for Milan, let her down easy at least. She loves you for whatever reason.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Luke came to a stop outside Rhys’ door and it would take him a few minutes to move from the spot. So many thoughts and emotions swirled through him. He would catch ahold of one, only to have it slip away as his attention was distracted by something else.

  As with anyone, his thoughts turned to how the changing situation would affect him. Milan would be free—available for him! The glimmer of hope he had extinguished earlier that evening relit, only to be quickly devoured by the guilt at even thinking of that possibility. What kind of man was he to feel the happiness of opportunity at such a cost?

  Just as fast, he was overcome with anger again. That Julian had the nerve to think that they would just give their blessing and hand over their sister to him as if she was the reward for his selfish decisions! And Rhys! His dogged devotion to Julian was just as upsetting; he wasn’t looking out for Carolyn at all.

  Luke knew Carolyn’s heart. He was the brother who truly knew her. She wouldn’t be swept up in the tide of Julian’s charisma. Like him, her head was squarely on her shoulders.

  It was Milan he had to worry about. They hadn’t seen the Milan she had shown him last weekend. She was not as tough as people thought. He knew that he couldn’t have her, but he could be there for her. She wouldn’t have to go through this alone.

  Luke returned to the hall and immediately scanned the room for Milan. She was talking with Sabrina, but her eyes had been on the door and he saw the flash of disappointment cross her face when he entered. She’d been watching for Julian.

  He wanted to go to her and put his arms around her, give her the strength that he knew she would need later on. His instinct was to tell her now rather than have her remain in the dark, but in this maybe Rhys was right.

  He joined Carolyn at their table and ignored her questioning look. She didn’t press him and he took the time to get his thoughts together. The number of people in the room had dwindled as some guests had already left. He toyed with his empty goblet, rolling it between thumb and middle finger.

  Milan had been trying to catch his eye since he’d returned and he had been studiously avoiding making contact. He could tell she was losing patience; it was all over her body language. He was such a jerk, but what could
he do?

  In a hushed tone he whispered to Carolyn, “Julian's calling off the wedding.” He watched her reaction closely wondering if she already knew, but her saw pure surprise in her brown eyes.

  She made him repeat what he had said and stared at him, confused. She seemed nervous and a little upset. She looked over at Milan and he noted with relief the concern in her glance.

  “Does Milan know?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Why?” she asked him. “What happened?”

  “You don't know?”

  Carolyn shook her head at his leading question and waited for an explanation. Luke considered telling her that the wedding was off because of her but decided against it. Now that he had opened the jar, he had to tell her something because he knew she wouldn't let him off the hook without an answer.

  “He says he's in love with someone else.”

  Carolyn gasped and searched his face but he had no answers for her.

  ”Who?” she finally asked, to Luke’s relief. If she had to ask then she wasn't a part of this whole thing. He knew that in Carolyn at least he had an ally in common sense. She was someone who wouldn't allow herself to get swept away in the moment and make bad decisions. She and he had always been the stable half of their foursome and he took comfort in the fact that they still were.

  Rhys chose then to enter the room. He’d changed clothes, Luke noticed, and he looked as relaxed as ever as he worked the room with ease and made his way over to Milan and Sabrina. He leaned in, gently rested his hand on Milan's back and whispered something in her ear that made her smile. She pecked Rhys on the cheek and then grasped his hand as he cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

  Luke had to admire his brother's ability to handle anything with ease. Rhys thanked everyone for coming and wished them all a good night. He had slipped into the groom's role so quickly that it seemed no one even noticed Julian's absence.

  Once the good-nights were said, Rhys smoothly escorted Milan out of the hall with what looked to be only an afterthought glance at his brother and sister. Luke and Carolyn both knew, however, that Rhys had looked to them for reassurance because he was leading Milan to the beginning of the end.

  Milan chided herself for having worried at Julian's absence. She had been losing patience with Julian and Rhys’ disappearing act, but now she was filled with anticipation at the surprise that her fiancé must have for her.

  Rhys had told her that Julian was waiting in her hotel room and that Rhys was to help her say good night to everyone in the hall. Seeing how well both Julian and Rhys looked out for her, she knew she was the most cherished woman in the world. She couldn't wait for tomorrow to come. She checked her watch. It was almost ten o'clock, “We'd better hurry,” she said to Rhys, “I want to get to Julian before midnight. I don't want to see him on our wedding day. It's bad luck.”

  “You'll be fine,” Rhys said and stopped in front of her room door. He leaned down to hug her and she thought again how alike he and Julian were. “I'm in room 1032 if you need me for anything. Okay?”

  “Thanks Rhys,” she smiled up at him, “I think I'll be all right. Julian's here.”

  “I know,” he replied but she couldn’t interpret his expression. “Okay then,” Rhys turned and headed back toward the elevator.

  For a moment his words brought back the foreboding Milan had felt earlier in the week, but she brushed it off and opened the door to her suite. She saw Julian immediately; his presence seemed to fill the room. He was standing across the room looking out the window with his back facing her. He didn't turn around when she entered, so she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She felt the dampness of his clothes.

  “Why are you so wet, honey?” she didn't really care why and didn't wait for an answer. She was happy to be with him again. She turned her head to the left, resting her right cheek against his back and was comforted by his solid body. She didn't mind that her dress was absorbing the moisture from his clothes.

  “Can you believe we’re going to be married tomorrow? I almost can't believe it's really going to happen. After all this preparation it's finally here.” She listened to his breathing and the sound of his heart beating. Comforting sounds, always. “Are you nervous?”

  “Yeah, I am nervous,” he replied, loosening her embrace so he could turn around and face her. He was almost a foot taller than she was and she leaned her head back to look at him. She wanted to memorize this moment so she would always remember it.

  “Milan, why don't you sit down over here?” He motioned to the red overstuffed side chair beside the bed. He was being so formal, he really must be nervous, she thought.

  “Yes sir,” she said gamely and plopped herself into the seat, “see what a good obedient wife I'll be?” she giggled. From her vantage point she could now really see Julian's condition. “Baby, why are you so wet?” she asked again.

  “I was outside in the rain. I didn't realize it was coming down so hard.”

  “Well you need to get out of those clothes, you don't want to catch a cold now. And your cast, you didn’t get that wet too, did you?” She tried to get out of the chair to go get a robe from the bathroom but Julian stopped her and pressed her back into her seat. He sank down to one knee in front of her and in his face she saw not excitement, not anticipation, not joy, but anguish and heartache. Something was wrong.

  He started speaking and an acrid stinging started at the back of her throat, the feeling you get when trying to keep from crying. But she didn't cry.

  Milan sat in the chair, Julian holding her hands in her lap as he told her he couldn't marry her. She watched his lips moving as he explained how he'd realized that they weren't meant to be together and that not getting married was the best answer for them both. She looked at his face, which she knew so well, and didn't recognize the man in front of her.

  She didn't cry. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. He was in tears, though, asking her if she was okay, begging her to say something, to yell at him. But she was numb. What am I supposed to say, she thought? So she said nothing and while he cried she pulled her hands from his and wrapped her arms across her taut belly. Her whole body was stiff as she sat there, muscles tense, trying not to shake.

  “Milan?”

  She finally found her voice but didn't recognize it. The sound was harsh, grating to her ears, “I think you should go.” It was all she could get out without losing it.

  “I think we should talk about this,” he said.

  “Do you?” his suggestion made her angry. “Well I don't think I want to talk Julian,” I think I want to kill you.

  She got up from her chair and brushed passed him as he remained crouched on the floor. She picked up her purse from where she had tossed it on the bed earlier and removed her compact and lipstick. Deliberately she began to reapply her lip color—her armor—but her movements were stiff and she pressed the stick too hard against her lips. It didn't matter to Milan that her application wasn't perfect, she found comfort in the familiar movement and was able to begin to clear her mind while seemingly focusing on the simple task.

  Julian watched her fix her face and wondered how she could be so cold when this was tearing him apart. He almost hated her in that moment. Everything is a façade, there's no depth to her, no feeling. He couldn’t believe he had almost gone through with this wedding.

  He rose awkwardly from his position, taking care with his injured leg and picked up his wrinkled suit jacket from the bed. He went to stand behind her hoping to reach some common ground, but when he touched her shoulders she shrugged his hands off.

  “I'm sorry,” he said, “I'll take care of things for tomorrow.”

  He started for the door so he did not see the tears start to come. He did not see her struggle to keep them from falling, nor did he see her lose the battle. He had opened the door, about to walk away from the devastation he had wrought, when she wobbled as if the bones inside her were disintegrating. She gripped
the table for support.

  “Julian!” it was almost a whisper but it stopped him cold in his tracks. “You can just walk away from me?”

  It was then that he saw the depth of emotion on her face, which he hadn't thought her capable of. She wiped violently at her tears.

  “I can't marry you.” He said, knowing that to soften now would just make it hurt worse later on.

  “Why!” her voice cracked.

  He shook his head as if he were hopeless to find the answer, “I can't marry you, Milan.”

  “Why Julian, why?” she cried out, “I love you!”

  “I love you, too. I'm so sorry.”

  He exited and outside her door, Julian heard the thud of something break against the door and then the sound of tempered weeping. She was crying, he thought, and he almost felt better at the sound of her distress. She wasn't as cold as he’d feared. Maybe he didn't know her as well as he thought he had.

  He put his hand back on the knob and turned it, wanting to return and comfort the woman he had been with for the last few years, but he stopped himself, knowing that she wouldn't find comfort in his arms ever again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  The Jameses had gathered in Rhys' room while Julian was breaking things off with Milan and as her brothers explained what had happened, Carolyn wondered if there was anything she could have done to stop it.

  “It's probably better that you weren't there,” Rhys said, not wanting her to feel responsible in any way. This was Julian’s doing. “Julian was in a pretty bad way. He probably wouldn't have wanted you to see him like that.”

  Luke snorted, “I wonder...this whole mess might have been avoided if she were there.”

  “Maybe I could have talked him out of making such a rash decision,” Carolyn offered.

  “You're probably the only person who might have been able to set him straight,” Luke agreed.

  Rhys was tired of dancing around the subject. In their recounting of the night’s events, neither he nor Luke had directly told Carolyn that she was the reason Julian called of the wedding. Something was missing though, and Rhys couldn't help wondering just how his sister fit into this equation.