Blazing Nights (A Night Games Novel)

by Linda Barlow

  "I'm domineering? This is coming from the guy who could have been the model for Sir Stephen from The Story of O?"

  "Please. I am way more easygoing than that dude. Melanie broke up with me because I didn’t dominate her harshly enough."

  "Seriously?"

  "Yep. One of her relationship-ending complaints was that I didn't order her to blow my friends."

  "She was up for that, and you didn't invite me over? What the hell kind of friend are you?"

  "She wanted to party with a couple guys, with me hovering and directing the festivities while she pretended to be reluctant. There would have been whips involved."

  "Dude," Jeff said with a sigh. "Why is your sex life so much more interesting than mine?"

  "Was interesting," Stephen said morosely. "Now, not so much."

  Kate smiled as she listened to her friends analyzing their recent relationship disasters. Although she was sure they were exaggerating, once they got going, they could be pretty damn funny.

  It was Monday afternoon, and Jeff was already feeling much better. His headache had abated and the pain from the broken bones was apparently under control. "As long as I don’t move or try to breathe, I feel fine."

  Jeff’s parents, who had retired a few years before to Arizona, were going to come and stay for a week or two. Kate adored his parents, whom she remembered very well from their college years and afterwards; they were a warm and loving couple who would do just about anything for their only son. Jeff had protested that he’d be fine on his own, but they had already booked their flight. Stephen was going to pick them up at the airport tomorrow morning.

  "You know," Stephen was continuing, "It’s Max’s sex life that’s really pathetic. No matter how barren things get for you and me, at least we occasionally get laid."

  Kate broke in on them when she heard this. "Don't let Max fool you. I picked up some very sexy vibes from him last night. I'll bet he has more hookups than the two of you put together."

  This caught their attention. Both Jeff and Stephen stared at her. Then Jeff scowled. "Did he come on to you?"

  "No. Chill. He just —" she grinned "—hovered a bit."

  Now Stephen was scowling as well. "Where did this hovering take place?"

  "Over my bed in the middle of the night. When he woke me, I thought for a moment that I was back in my mother's house, and that vampires had chased out the ghosts."

  Stephen laughed. "He is pretty freakish. Undead? Maybe. They say your hair keeps growing after death, and by that reckoning, I make him about 500 years gone."

  Jeff scoffed. "Will you guys stop with the vampires, please? I’ll bet you’ve been sampling my pain medication."

  "How are you feeling?" Kate asked instantly.

  "Not too bad. How are you feeling?"

  Uh-oh. Both her friends were now directing their attention toward her, which was nowhere near as amusing as when they were haranguing each other. "I'm fine," she lied.

  More raised eyebrows. "So?" said Stephen. "Did you call him back yet?"

  The subject of Daniel had been avoided by them all, except for the thank-you she had offered to Stephen when she'd first seen him this morning. "I really appreciate your advice," she'd told him. "I might even follow it."

  "No," she said now. "But it's kinda hard not to."

  Jeff, who hadn't spoken on the phone to Daniel and had no sympathy whatsoever for him, said, "You can resist. We’ll help you. We’ll stick to you like human nicotine patches. If the temptation grows too great, tell us and we'll stop you."

  "With what?" she smirked. "Stephen's whips?"

  Stephen's green eyes were twinkling. "That's a better offer than I've had in quite a while."

  "Shut up," she laughed.

  "Well, hey, I won't stop you calling him," Stephen said. "I just think you ought to make him reflect on his mistakes for a while. He's not a dick; he's just messed up."

  "I'm busy reflecting on my own mistakes," Kate said. Indeed, that was pretty much what she'd been doing all day since she'd read Stephen's note. "You're right, Stephen, that I haven't been able to let go of Arthur."

  The guys exchanged a look. If she was interpreting it correctly, Jeff agreed with Stephen about this. That was a surprise. Jeff had never said anything along those lines. "Wait. Do you both think that?"

  They exchanged another glance, and then both looked at her, nodding.

  "It has been three years," Jeff said gently.

  "Daniel’s the first man you’ve had sex with in all that time," said Stephen. "You like him a lot, if I understand you correctly, but one of the first things you do with the guy is take him to a séance where your mom starts channeling Arthur’s ghost. Even if he hadn’t been all anti-spiritualism, how do you suppose the average new boyfriend is gonna feel about that?"

  "The séance wasn’t my idea. I tried to stop it. It was Graham making mischief; he doesn’t like Daniel."

  "Graham’s an ass," said Jeff.

  "Graham wants to nail you," said Stephen. "You knew that, right? He’s a player, and it irritates the hell out of him that he’s never had the chance to play with you."

  "Wow," Kate said. "You guys are harsh."

  "And you, dear heart, are a bit like your mom in that you tend to see the good in people and avoid looking at the bad."

  "Good thing, too," added Stephen, "or she’d never have put up with us all these years."

  "I’m not sure I want to put up with you now. What is this, an intervention?"

  "Maybe it should be," said Jeff. "Tell me this. Have you cleaned out Arthur’s office yet, or is it still exactly the way he left it on the day he died?"

  "I’ve been meaning to."

  "You’ve been saying that for the past two and a half years," said Jeff.

  "What does Daniel think about Arthur’s office?" asked Stephen.

  She didn’t reply. Of course he hated it. She hadn’t forgotten that Daniel had referred to the room as a mausoleum. But, seriously, she hadn’t expected her friends to get on her case this much. Her mother, she realized guiltily, had done the same.

  "I don’t get this. Arthur was your friend, too."

  "Yes, he was," Jeff said. "And we loved him. But he’s gone and he’s never coming back. Nobody, not even your mom, can change that."

  "I know that. I know it! I’m not crazy." She was beginning to feel upset. Then, in a flash, something occurred to her, something she had never considered before. Stumbling a bit for the words to express it, she said, "Look. This isn’t just about me. It’s about you guys, too. Don't look so skeptical. I mean it."

  "Yup," Stephen said.

  "Sure you do," said Jeff.

  She scowled at their disbelieving expressions. "Look, I’ll tell you one of the reasons I haven’t changed Arthur’s study. It’s because when we play the game or chat on videophone, that’s where I am, surrounded by Arthur’s stuff. That’s where my computer is. So when you see me in his office, you know that I’m respecting my husband’s memory and trying to keep him with us. Even though he's gone. You can always see his picture, which is always right there on my desk beside me." She paused. "You do see what I mean, don’t you?"

  The guys were looking at her attentively, but they both seemed a bit confused. They didn’t get it. They didn’t understand what she was trying to tell them.

  "I keep everything the same as it used to be because Arthur was an essential part of us. Part of the circle of friends that we formed in college. I’m preserving it not just for me, but for you guys, too. I don’t want you to think I’m forgetting Arthur, or that I’m disloyal to him. I don’t want to lose our circle. Don't you see?" Her voice felt choked up. "Right now it’s all I’ve got."

  "Babe, you’ve not gonna lose us," Stephen said. "We’re still here. Look at us."

  "If anything proves that, this weekend surely does," added Jeff. "You’ve both been here for me, taking care of me. We're still tight. Our circle isn’t broken."

  "But it could be." She felt a little teary, bu
t so far she had managed to keep the moisture from overflowing. "Arthur’s gone, and Nick hardly ever hangs out with us anymore."

  "Nick’s having internet connection issues on his dig. But he sent me email a couple hours ago. He says hi to you both, called me a klutz, and wrote something in Turkish that I'm guessing means get well soon."

  "Well, tell him to come home. He's been gone too long this time." She turned accusingly to Stephen. "You said in your note that when Daniel offered to come and help, you told him no because we didn’t want some stranger joining us. Well, he isn’t a stranger to me. Why can't he join us?"

  Jeff looked questioningly at Stephen. He apparently hadn’t heard about Daniel’s offer.

  "Actually, what I told him was that he would have to earn a place among us. That isn’t easy, but it shouldn’t be, should it?" Stephen countered. "It’s not impossible, either. Max wasn’t part of the original group. I hadn’t even met him in person until last night, and neither had you. But you can’t say that Max isn’t part of our circle."

  "Didn't you go high school with Max?" she asked Jeff.

  "I did, for a while at least. So did Nick. We were all at St. Crispin's in New Hampshire. But Max was a phantom even then, and he was off the radar for years, geeking out or something. We didn't really get close again until we started playing the game."

  "Our circle can expand, you know," Stephen said. "We all make new friends from time to time, and that, surely, is a good thing."

  "Kate," Jeff said, "Were you worried that we’d think less of you if you wanted to bring someone other than Arthur into our group?"

  "I guess," she said miserably. "I don’t know. I realize it might not make a lot of sense, but things are changing and people are changing, and nothing’s the way it used to be anymore. I thought my marriage was going to be forever. Even after Arthur died, I never expected to fall in love again. I thought that when I died, my spirit and his would be together for all eternity. But now, I don’t know what I think." She paused to collect herself before adding, "I really fell for Daniel, which is why this separation has been so hard. But, at the same time, I’m terrified of losing you guys. And Daniel's such a whirlwind. He doesn’t even play Hunt the Night City….oh god, I’m so messed up."

  "No, Kate," said Stephen dryly, "trust me, you’re not. Melanie, my ex, the kinky orgy queen, is messed up. I’m pretty twisted myself, with the whips and all. Max thinks he’s a vampire, and as for Jeff, he just took a dive off his roof. You, in comparison, are only mildly confused."

  She began to laugh. Laughter and sobs got all mixed together as she kissed Stephen and hugged Jeff, and thanked the powers that be for giving her such friends.

  The laughing and hugging was still going on when Kate's phone chimed. When she looked at the screen, the heat in her cheeks rose. "It's him," she said, and with a quick smile at her friends, she fled the room, phone in hand.

  Stephen looked at Jeff, who was frowning. "Looks like New Guy might get her back, after all."

  Jeff's scowl deepened. "I don't think I like him."

  "He's okay. Give the guy a chance. I think he really cares about her."

  Jeff shifted uncomfortably, obviously in pain. "I just hope this Daniel character treats her right. She deserves some happiness."

  "Well, if he doesn't, I've got whips."

  Jeff grinned. "And I've got one helluva nasty roof."

  Chapter 21

  Kate answered her phone on the stairs as she ran up to the room she was using at Jeff's house. "Just a sec," she said, closing the door and crossing to the bed. She sat down, ordered herself to be calm, and put the device to her ear. "Daniel?"

  "Kate." She heard him exhale. It was as if his breath flowed into her over the airwaves, warming her right down to her toes. "I was afraid you weren't going to take my call. You didn't call me back. Did you get my message?" Before she could reply he added, "I'm so sorry, Kate. Are you okay?"

  "I'm fine." Her voice sounded a bit unsteady. Gripping the phone harder, she tried to calm herself. "Nothing happened to me; it was my friend Jeff who was injured."

  "I know. Your other friend told me all about it. Is he, Jeff I mean, feeling better?"

  It seemed so odd to her that he should even ask about Jeff, whom he didn't know and couldn't possibly care about, that she fumbled for a moment. "He's—thank you for asking—he's in a lot of pain, but being brave about it. He broke some bones. His leg, his ribs. We're not supposed to make him laugh, but that's hard because Stephen's always joking around."

  "I liked him. Stephen, I mean. He was decent to me when he really didn't have to be."

  "He's a good guy. They all are."

  "Yeah, I can see that."

  There was an awkward silence. She was about to break it when Daniel said in a rougher voice, "Dammit, Kate! I can't stop thinking about you. I'm sorry for being such a jerk. I want to make it up to you. Just tell me, please, what can I do to mend things between us?"

  Even though her heart leapt to hear him say this, she felt gun-shy. "I'm not sure. I mean, thank you for saying so, but I'm a little overwhelmed right now. I was glad when I heard you had called, but I'm kind of messed up. There's a lot of stuff I need to figure out."

  "I get that. I just—" He paused and she heard him swallow. "I don't want to lose you."

  She wasn't sure what to say. She didn't want to lose him, either, but she didn't think she'd be able to endure it if they got back together and he stormed out on her again.

  "I thought I could just walk away," he continued, "but that was really selfish, and anyway, I turned out to be wrong. I didn't realize how hard I'd fallen for you. I guess it's not easy for me to acknowledge feelings like that. It's probably, you know, that guy thing? That avoiding intimacy thing? I think I have that thing."

  It was strange to hear him struggling to describe his feelings. It was sweet, actually. Previously, the only strong emotions he had expressed to her were those centered upon sex, possessiveness, and anger at the various deceptions practiced upon the world by unscrupulous con artists.

  Okay, maybe that was a little unfair. She recalled the night he had told her about the deaths of his parents—he had been really sad then, and she had caught a glimpse of what had probably been a lonely life, particularly during his teenage years. She had seen it again the day he had told her about his mom's obsession with spiritualism. But he rarely showed that vulnerable side. No doubt it felt safer not to.

  Now she sensed that he was trying now to repair the damage, even if he wasn’t quite sure how. She found herself smiling at the phone, and wishing she could hug him and assure him that there were probably lots of folks who had that "avoiding intimacy thing."

  "I’m trying to overcome it," he added. "Oh hell, I'm not very good at this."

  "No, I get what you're saying. Anyway, it wasn’t just you. I screwed up too. I’m just beginning to understand how tightly I’ve been holding onto Arthur, and how reluctant I’ve been to accept the finality of his death. I threw him in your face constantly, even though I didn’t mean to do it. I’m sorry for making you feel as if you had to compete with a dead man. That wasn’t fair to you at all."

  Now it was his turn to sound surprised. "No, Kate, it’s all good. I knew you were a widow, and I knew you’d loved your husband and that you weren't over him yet. You were honest with me about that. I just didn't want to accept it."

  "I guess we both made mistakes."

  "I kept thinking that all I was to you was a first step. A way out of your solitude, maybe, but just a temporary way station on the road to something else."

  "I thought I was temporary to you, too. That you'd be all passionate and intense for a while, and then lose interest."

  He gave a short laugh. "When are you coming home? I need to see you. I need–" he cut himself off for a moment, and then continued, "I hope you will allow me to apologize to you in person. It must have been frightening to learn your friend was in an accident, and to have to go to the hospital. I know you hate hospita
ls. I’m sorry that you had to face that without me."

  Wow, he was being so nice. But he was still Scorpio, and still equipped with that sharp, lashing tail. She remembered Stephen's advice about this being a crucial point in their relationship. A chance to renegotiate some of the terms of their interaction. So far it had been all sex and passion, but it they were to continue, it needed to be something more.

  "I want to see you, too. I think I need some time, though, to understand my own feelings, and to fathom where we go from here. If there’s a path forward for us, we have to figure out how to find it."

  "There is a path forward for us." He sounded more like his old confident self. "Don’t doubt that, not even for an instant."

  "I can’t help doubting it, considering how differently we view the world."

  "I’m willing to expand my horizons, if you are."

  She would love to believe that, but she wasn’t convinced. "Show me. Or rather, let’s show each other."

  "All right," he said slowly. "How? Do you have something in mind?"

  "I don’t," she admitted. "Surprise me."

  "Surprise you?" He sounded doubtful. "I don’t think I’m very good at surprising people. Can we get together and talk about this? When will you be back in Cambridge?"

  "In a day or two. Jeff’s parents are flying in to stay with him for a while, and I have to get back to work. I don't want to lose my part in the Scottish play. But I don’t think we should get together, not yet. I don’t want to rush into anything."

  There was a brief silence, and then he said, "Are you afraid we’ll get lost in the sex again?"

  There was something about the husky way he said it that brought all those sexy feelings rushing back. Memories of their hot magic nights assaulted her. Blazing nights. It could be like that again. It could probably be like that immediately if she said yes to him. Not saying yes was like resisting the sucking of the tide.

  "I am afraid of that, yes. Sex makes us forget our differences. But when we crawl out of bed, my mother is still going to be a psychic who has mysterious powers that I can’t account for and that you won’t acknowledge. I love her, Daniel. I don’t think I can be with someone who loathes her. That's a deal-breaker for me."