by Shan
“You think I’m a sit back and let you fuck with this nigga like I’m cool with it?” I yelled, voice peaking with more anger than I thought I had.
“Let me? You don’t have a choice, now get the fuck back Tae!” Rozalyn shoved me, only slightly moving me away from her. "Tae, I'm serious I don't want anything to do with you. Go marry that bitch ass reporter of yours."
Rozalyn slid around me and exited my office without looking back, leaving me with a look of disgust and a horrible feeling that I knew would be hard to overcome.
9: Rozalyn
"Rozalyn!"
I looked up and noticed Tamar leaning against his truck a few feet away from my shop. I rolled my eyes, crossed my arms over my chest, and headed in his direction. After I showed up at the club last night and was greeted by Messiah all hell broke loose, but I didn't expect anything less. Tamar's territorial ass did exactly what I had expected him to do; act as if he still owned me not giving a damn that his fiancé was there or anybody else for that matter. The fool didn’t want me but the minute he sees me with someone else he has the nerve to get jealous.
People can say that I was disrespectful for showing up at Tamar's club with another man all day but I didn't care. I was tired of caring about Tamar's feelings when all he did was treat me like shit. He kept my kids away from me, got engaged to someone else and has the nerve to tell me what I can and can't do with my life. No, I was sick of that, sick of him running all over me, treating me like I was less than a woman and taking advantage of my heart. True, I've done things to Tamar but only because he'd fucked my head up so bad that I couldn't tell what was right or wrong anymore. My sense of judgment had been completely altered by everything that had been going on around me. Tamar's cheating, him beating me, the rape, loss of my first child, my kidnapping times two, and so much more. How can a person think straight after all that? How can I be loyal to someone who didn't care enough to be loyal to me after most of what happened to me was because of them?
It took me a while to understand that I deserved better than what I'd been given over the past few years. I played the cards that life had dealt but I played them all wrong because I didn't know any better. Now that I knew a little better, no a lot better; Tamar was the furthest thing from my mind. Rekindling anything with him was out of the question and at this point all I wanted to do was see how I could get the divorced finalized without the counseling sessions. Tamar wasn't going to show up. He treated this shit like a game just as he did everything else.
"You don't have to look like that. I just wanna holla at you for a minute," Tamar said when I came closer to him.
"What’s up? I got ten minutes before I need to open up," I said. I pulled my sunglasses from my face and stared into the eyes of the man that I once loved more than I loved myself.
"So you fucked him last night huh?"
"What? I know that's not why you're here!"
I turned to walk away but Tamar snatched me back and forced me to look at him. Anger was written all over his face but his eyes said something completely different. He was hurt. He was actually hurt by the fact that I'd found somebody else and wasn't giving in to his silly demands.
"I saw that nigga come to your house Rozalyn so don't even lie to me!"
"Lie to you about what? I don't have a reason to lie to you Tamar! Damn, I told you last night that you and I are over with! I'm not joking, playing around, or even lying to you! I wish you will show up at the counseling sessions so that we can get this whole thing over with! I don't even know why the fuck I married you! Damn, I was so fuckin’ stupid," I huffed.
"Really? He got your head gone like that? Now you regret marrying me?" Tamar asked in disbelief.
"No one has my head gone! I can finally see clearly, and I see that you ain't shit! You never have been and never will be. You were a waste of my time and I honestly hate that I have three children by you. What the fuck was I thinking?"
"Aye, you better watch your fuckin' mouth---"
"Or what? You gonna hit me in it? Go ahead Tae! Punch me like you used to, choke me, slam me against the wall, slap me---what?"
"Damn, that nigga got you feeling out of sight, out of mind right now. You got a lil' courage now, huh?" Tamar laughed. He stepped closer to me, leaning downwards slightly. I didn't flinch one bit. There was nothing Tamar could do or say to me that would further hurt me than he already has. I gave him too much control before but now it was time for me to take it all back. He was going to respect me whether he wanted to or not.
"Nah, I ain't gonna hit you ma. I'm over that. I should've never laid my hands on you and for that I apologize--"
"I don't--"
"Nah, shut the fuck up and listen. I'm glad you found somebody and that you think you're happy---"
"No, I don't think--"
"Listen!" Tamar said through gritted teeth. "Like I said I'm glad you think you're happy. That's all that matters is that you're happy. But let me tell you this, once we sign them papers and finalize this shit just know that it's truly over between us. Don't ask me for shit, don't call me for shit unless it's concerning Marion, Zyir, and Zavier. When you find out that fool Sy ain't what you thought, definitely don't call me. I'll step back and let you do you, ma! You might think ‘cause you got your own shit and all that, you know what you doing but you don't. Your ass ain't ever been able to see shit for what it really is. Never."
"Yea, whatever," I said walking away towards my shop.
"Whatever my ass! At least I ain't ever fooled you into believing I was something that I really wasn't. I've always been true to myself even when you didn't like it!"
I waved my hand in the air dismissing Tamar before unlocking the door to my shop. I didn't have time to go back and forth with him about my life. He could try to convince me all day long that Messiah wasn't this or wasn't that but I know for a fact that he treats me good; better than Tamar ever has. To me it was all that mattered.
****
Rain drops hit my window sounding like miniature golf balls as it fell. Several times I contemplated pulling over and parking until the rain let up but thought better of it. I was only a few minutes away from the house and couldn’t wait to get inside and into some dry clothing. Because of the rain, work had been extremely slow and most of the day was spent gossiping about any and everything. Customers usually cancelled on days like these or just flat out didn’t show. It was a strain on some of our pockets which meant we would have to work extra hard for the rest of the week to catch up. With me getting the boys this weekend, I didn't see how that was possible so there would most likely be no recovery for me.
Finally after what seemed like a long drive, I pulled my jeep into the driveway, hitting the button above me to raise the garage. Like always, I smiled as I pulled inside, feeling like my own home was welcoming me into its arms. Once I parked the car, turned it off and got out, I walked over to hit the switch that closed the garage. Turning the knob that led into the house, I pushed the door open but froze sensing something wasn't right. I reached into my purse, pulled out my cell phone, but was caught by surprise when a hand went over my face, and knocked my phone out of my hand.
I tried to scream but the force of the hand covering my mouth only muffled my cries and forced me into silence. I was pushed inside of my home, brought directly to my living room, and pushed onto the sofa. It was like they'd been here before, the way they moved through the place told me that they knew their way away around. My whole house was pitch black, making it hard to see who the shadow was that stood before me. The figure was tall with broad shoulders but I couldn't make out anything else.
"I should've just snapped your fucking neck," he said.
A huge lump formed in my throat as the sound of the voice echoed through my ears. I jumped up from the sofa, thinking of an escape plan in my head as he came closer and closer. I brought my hands up in defense before turning around and running towards the nearest phone in the house. He gave chase and my heart began to pound, overshadowi
ng the thousands of thoughts that ran through my head.
Before I could grab the phone, he pulled me by my hair and yanked me into his arms.
"What you running for? I just wanna talk to you," he said forcing me to look into his green eyes that lit up the dark hallway.
"Talk--talk to me about what?" I asked trying to get over my fear. He'd never hurt me before but after all I'd done to him, that was liable to change.
"What the fuck Roz? After all I've done for you; you turn around and do all that shit to me," he said venom pouring from his mouth.
"I had to do what I had to Brandon. Shit got out of control and you killed Brittany and Keylan, you killed them!"
"None of that was supposed to happen and you know that. You turned me into the black sheep of the only family I ever had and then you turned your back on me!"
"It wasn't like that, you needed help and I just wanted to make sure you got it before you ended up dead."
I knew that this day would come. When I found out that Brandon was convicted of Brittany's murder due to temporary insanity and sent to a mental institution; I knew that he would come for me. I just didn't know when. The bad thing about being declared insane is that you can always click back into sanity and get the doctors to say that you're ready to be a part of society again. This is exactly what happened to Brandon, two years flat and here he is free as a bird; but obviously still out of his damned mind.
I looked up at him and noticed his eyes swell with tears. I never once thought Brandon was a monster which is why I always tried to prevent Tae from doing anything to him. He only needed help. His drinking problem had gotten out of control and he'd allowed our sexual encounters to be mistaken for love. I admit that I should've never crossed that line with him but Brandon knew better. He knew that I would never leave Tamar to be with him. Never. Those were thoughts of his, never once were they mine and not once did I ever convey the idea that it was possible to Brandon.
"Look, just let me see my damn kids. That's the only reason I came here," Brandon said as he loosened his grip around my hair.
"Your kids?" I asked as I turned to look at him.
He'd grown his hair out and it was slicked back into a tight ponytail. The scars that were once so clear across his face from the beating he took from Tamar were now barely noticeable.
"Hell yea my kids, where are they?"
"Have you lost your damn--B, I told you when I was pregnant with my twins that they wasn't yours."
"Yea, I'm not trying to hear that shit. I know for a fact that one of them has my eyes, so where are they?"
I stared into Brandon's green eyes and thought about Zyir, he'd had those eyes since he was born but I always hoped that one day they would change but they didn't. Zyir's eyes always stood out the same as Brandon's. In the darkness it was like a glow.
"They're not yours Brandon! You know that Tamar wouldn't keep them if they wasn't his," I said wondering if this was true or not. Tamar never mentioned having the kids tested but did he have to? That was mandatory for him and no matter what he always got a DNA test done.
Brandon chuckled as if I'd said something funny then began to walk around my house. I took that opportunity to get to a phone. Quickly I raced to where a cordless phone sat on the kitchen counter and unlocked it. I went to dial Tamar's number but froze wondering if I should be calling Messiah. Tamar wasn't my man anymore and although he knew the situation with Brandon, should I be calling him?
For a few seconds, I tossed the options around in my head and then finally called Tamar. Regardless if Tamar and I were no longer together, this was between us.
"Tamar!" I said breathlessly the moment he answered.
"What's wrong?" he asked and I could hear the concern in his voice.
"Brandon is here and--"
The cordless went flying out of my hand and crashed to the floor, disabling the battery. I pushed Brandon away and pulled the drawer open that held knives of different lengths and sizes. I grabbed the first one I could get my hands on and held it up in the small space between Brandon and I.
"Look Brandon, I don't want any trouble okay? You need to talk to Tae about this. He has custody of the boys and---"
"What? You let him take my muthafuckin' kids?" Brandon bellowed.
"Brandon, they are not yours! Why do you keep saying that they are yours? They're not!" I screamed.
Brandon stepped an inch in my direction, the knife shook in my hand as fear took over my body. I stepped back until I couldn't go any further and just stared at Brandon hoping that he would just leave.
"Fuck going on in here?"
I looked up and saw Messiah rush into the kitchen with a pistol in his hands.
"Oh God Messiah," I said relieved that he was here.
Brandon looked over at Messiah with a look of confusion written all over his face. The two stared each other down for a few moments before Brandon backed his way outta the kitchen.
"I'm a see my muthafuckin' kids whether you like it or not!" he said before he bolted.
"Who the hell is that Roz? What is going on?" Messiah asked snatching the knife out of my hand. "Told you, you need to get that damn garage door fixed. Shit is not closing all the way."
I stared at Messiah as I took deep breaths, trying to push circulation back to my heart. This was not something I really wanted Messiah to know about. What kind of woman would he think I was if I told him I fucked my husband's best friend. I had to think of a lie and quick.
10:Tamar
"Fuck you get out the car for?" I frowned at Kari.
"Because it's freaking storming out here. Why the hell couldn't you call Ron like always to handle her damn problems?" Kari asked.
"Look, if you got a problem with me coming to check on my damn wife go get your ass back in the car!"
I reached over and rung Rozalyn's doorbell and impatiently waited for her to answer. When she called me a little while ago, I could hear the distress in her voice and immediately dropped everything and came over. I wasn’t positive but I could've sworn I heard her mention Brandon's name. I'd gotten word that he would be released soon and thought the muthafucka would've been smarter and stayed the fuck away.
"What's up?" Sy asked once he pulled the door open.
"Aye, where Rozalyn at?" I asked with a mean ass mug on my face.
"Chilling, what's up?"
"Chilling? Where the fuck she at yo? She just called me."
"Nigga, I said chilling. I'm here and she's good," Messiah sucked his teeth and went to close the door but I stuck my feet out to prevent it from shutting.
"Tamar, let's go! He said she's good," Kari chimed in.
I stared Sy down for a few moments before reaching into my waistline and pulling my pistol out. I'd already knocked this fool out in the damn club and he still wanted to try me, maybe after I showed his ass a little gunplay he would better understand not to fuck with me.
Sy chuckled, "You think you the only one that got pistols nigga?"
"Nah, I know for sure I ain't, but I know for damn sure I don’t have no problem pulling the trigger," I said and cocked the hammer.
"Messiah, what---"
Rozalyn pulled the door open, and looked from my gun to me, to Kari, and then up at Messiah.
"What the hell is going on?" she asked.
"Aye, you better check this fool though for real. Shit you called my damn phone---"
"Yea, I did call your phone. I need to talk to you in private. I guess y'all can come in," Rozalyn rolled her eyes and stepped to the side so that we could enter. Messiah and I never took our eyes off of each other and I never released my grip around the handle of my gun.
I followed behind Rozalyn as she led me to the boy's room, closing the door behind us. She seemed to become frustrated to fidgety and nervous in a matter of seconds. Placing the safety on my gun, I placed it back where I got it from, and leaned against the wall waiting on Rozalyn to speak.
"What's up? What happened?" I asked.
"Did
you have a DNA test done on Zyir and Zavier?"
"What?"
****
Hearing Rozalyn mention Brandon's visit and him claiming my twins made my skin crawl. I didn't sleep all night thinking about the things I wanted to do to Brandon once I saw him. The day he killed Keylan was always fresh on my mind. There was never a day that went by that I didn't think about Brandon and what he did. Brandon literally destroyed the only family I had left and the nigga had the nerve to show up like shit was cool. I definitely needed to see him and find out what's really good with him.
Even with Rozalyn saying she would never make the mistake of sleeping with him again; I didn't believe her. I knew the connection they had is one I would never understand. If he could talk her out of her panties at a funeral in a damn bathroom, then I could only imagine what else he could do.
I sat at a table in the back of a popular sports bar watching Brandon as he tossed back a beer. I see that it didn't take him any time to get hack to his old ways. Fool didn’t even have the decency to get his hair braided or a fresh fit and here he was already drinking.
I'd been sitting here for a couple of hours just watching and thinking; thinking if I wanted to kill him as soon as I got a chance or if I wanted to question him about everything. Once again when I threw the bathroom incident in Rozalyn's face and she didn't deny it or admit to it. I wanted to know if what Kari says she seen was true or not.
I waited at my table for a few more minutes only deciding to get up and approach him when I seen him order another beer. It didn't look like he would be leaving until he was put out, so I placed my plans of killing him on hold and decided to see what information I could get out of him.
"What's up?" I asked taking a seat on the stool next to Brandon.
He didn't look up at me at first, took a long sip from his beer, and then cut his eyes in my direction.
"Let me get a crown black, no ice," I ordered then brought my attention back to Brandon.