Between a Rock and a Hard Place

by Jenna Galicki

  The simple act of washing Tommy’s hair became an intimate exchange of tender affection. Angel leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Tommy’s lips. “I love you.”

  While Tommy dried his hair in the bathroom and dressed, Angel rummaged through his suitcases. He was searching for one of his favorite jackets that Jessi made for him. He knew he packed it, but it wasn’t hung in the closet and he couldn’t find it in his luggage. Instinctually, he wanted to ask Jessi if she’d seen it, but she wasn’t with them. He still couldn’t get used to the idea that they were separated. He abandoned his search, sat on the edge of the bed and imagined what she was doing right now. He felt melancholy and homesick, not for his actual home, but for the company of the other third of their relationship that was left behind.

  He found his phone and called her. “Hi, sweetheart.” He didn’t expect the lump in his throat when he heard her voice, nor did he expect his heart to swell when she said that she missed him. “I was looking for my jacket and almost forgot you weren’t with us. I wish you were here.”

  “I wish I was there, too.”

  He could hear the disappointment in her voice and he wanted to change the subject. He didn’t want to make her feel sad. “We’re going to visit the local street markets in a little while. Do you want me to buy you anything special?”

  “Something touristy. Anything that says Hong Kong. Maybe one of those little colorful cat statues with his paw raised.”

  He laughed. “I’ll make sure I get one for you. How are your classes coming along?”

  “They’re hard, but I’m almost done.”

  “And the plans for the boutique? Are the contractors done renovating?”

  She let out a frustrated sigh and Angel imagined her pulling her hand through her hot pink hair.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know what I’m doing, Angel. I never opened a business before. I know about production, but I don’t know the first thing about who I’m supposed to hire to run the boutique. My sister Ella is helping me, but I’m overwhelmed.”

  He wished he was there to help her. She was left all alone to handle an enormous task without any experience and she sounded lost. “Call my dad. He’ll help you. He has the contacts you need and they’re trustworthy and reliable people. I know the restaurant business is totally different from retail, but he built Garcia’s from nothing. He knows all about how to start up a successful business and he has a lot of contacts in the city planning department.”

  “Really? Do you think he’ll help me?” Her voice beamed with hope. “I don’t want to be a burden. I know he’s a busy man.”

  “You’re family, Jessi. You know my dad will do anything when it comes to family.”

  “Thank you so much.”

  Angel imagined her placing her hand on her chest, or covering her mouth with her fingers, overcome with gratitude. “If there’s anything else you need, just ask. I mean it.”

  “I will. Thank you. What were you looking for, anyway?”

  “Oh, my lightweight leather jacket. The thin one with the leopard lining. I over packed and can’t find anything.”

  He missed the sound of her laughter. It was lighthearted and musical and it brought a smile to his lips.

  “Your luggage probably cost more than your plane ticket, Angel. I saw you pack it. Check the suitcase with the Immortal Angel sticker. There’s that extra zippered compartment.”

  He tucked the phone between his chin and shoulder and checked the outside of the suitcases until he found the one that displayed the sticker. As soon as he saw the semi-hidden zipper inside, he remembered packing the jacket in the compartment so it would be protected. He let out a calming deep breath. “I swear I’m lost without you.” He never realized how much he relied on Jessi. As the band’s assistant, she was on top of every detail. As his “wifey” she tended to him the same way she tended to Tommy.

  “Did you find it?”

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  “Where’s Tommy?”

  “He’s getting dressed. He’ll be out in a minute.”

  “Oh. Is he getting enough sleep? Are you getting enough sleep?”

  “Yes. Stop worrying about us. You have enough to worry about.”

  Tommy came into the room with a white terrycloth towel wrapped around his waist, holding his folded jeans and T-shirt in his hands. As soon as he realized Angel was on the phone with Jessi, he dropped them on the bed and waited to speak to her.

  Angel smiled up at him. “I think someone wants to say hello. I’ll speak to you later, sweetheart.”

  Tommy took the phone with urgency. Angel watched him smile into the phone with his chin tucked into his chest, unaware of anything else in the world except Jessi on the end of the line. He wondered how hard it was for them to be apart. It was the first time Angel and Jessi were apart and he longed for her presence. He missed her snarky humor and the playfulness they shared. As much as he enjoyed the culture of Hong Kong and time alone with Tommy, he found himself wishing they were at the end of their time in Asia, instead of at the beginning, so that the three of them could be together again.

  Chapter Ten

  Jessi heard voices from the far end of the house. They were coming from the family room. They were male voices and for a few seconds she thought it was Tommy and Angel. Jessi leaned her ear toward the hallway, intent on identifying the voices, but they were too muted to hear clearly. She started toward the family room and stopped short when she realized they weren’t voices, but the sound of heavy breathing and moans. The mechanical hum that purred in the background reminded her of the noises that came from behind the curtain of Alyssa and Damien’s bunk on the tour bus.

  Jessi’s face flushed red as she scuttled down the hallway. She turned the stereo on high enough to drown out the noise and sat at the breakfast bar with a cup of coffee and tried to erase the image of Alyssa pleasuring herself in front of the TV in the family room. She mentally berated Alyssa for tainting one of her favorite rooms in the house.

  Halfway through Jessi’s second cup of coffee, Alyssa padded into the kitchen oblivious to Jessi’s discovery. She stopped as soon as she saw Jessi. “Why is your face so red?”

  Jessi rarely blushed, but sometimes Alyssa left her at a loss for words. “Really, Alyssa? In my family room? You couldn’t do that upstairs in your own room?”

  Her friend shrugged. “It wasn’t my porn. I accidentally turned on the DVD player and a pair of dicks appeared on that giant 80 inch screen TV. What was I supposed to do? I never watched larger than life porn before.” Alyssa raised a black, penciled eyebrow. “As soon as the tour’s over, I’m telling Damien to buy one of those babies.”

  “And you just happened to be carrying around your vibrator?”

  Alyssa laughed. “Not usually, but I was bringing in an overnight bag that I left in the car and it was in there. And by the way, that man-on-man porn was fucking hotter than hellfire. Is that what you get in the middle of every night?”

  Jessi’s groin ached at the mention of her sex life. Oh, she missed Tommy and Angel something fierce. “I’m not in the middle. Tommy is.”

  Alyssa’s smile broadened and she lowered her eyes.

  “Stop imagining us having sex.”

  “I can’t help it. Damien’s been gone for two weeks. I’m ready to straddle the bedpost. I don’t know how you’re not screwing every piece of phallic-shaped furniture in the house.”

  Alyssa had a point. She went from hot sex practically on a daily basis and sharing her bed with two gorgeous musicians to being the lone occupant of that damn oversized bed. She wasn’t cut out for celibacy.

  Alyssa stared at Jessi. “Don’t tell me you don’t have any toys?”

  “I . . . I have toys.”

  “Jessi, you’re the worst liar I’ve ever met. Even worse than Angel.” Alyssa tapped the heel of her boot on the marble kitchen floor. “I’m taking you shopping. You need to keep up with those boys of yours.”

  Jessi wasn’t
in the habit of visiting a sex shop. She didn’t know where to look. She was surrounded by dildos, and not average-sized ones either. These dildos were made for plus size vaginas or very hungry bottoms. She couldn’t image anyone taking something the size of a bowling pin inside their body.

  Jessi was amused that all of the salespeople greeted Alyssa by name. “How do they all know you?”

  “The same way everyone at the fabric store knows your name.”

  Alyssa scanned the wall of different sized play things. “Do you see anything you like?”

  “I see a lot of things I like.” Jessi picked up a few dildos and examined their size and flexibility. Some were made from glass and looked dangerous. There were double-headed dongs that she and Tommy could use at the same time. She held onto that one. The vibrating anal plugs looked interesting. She walked a little further down the aisle and found an assortment of strap-ons. She could have a lot of fun with one of those. She covered her mouth and giggled. Thoughts and images of ramming Tommy in the ass with a strap on were a little too exciting to have in a public place. She held the strap-on up to show it to Alyssa. “I found something!”

  Chapter Eleven

  The smile plastered across Angel’s face was so big it hurt his cheeks. He was in that realm, somewhere between sleep and consciousness, aware that he was slipping out of a dream that he desperately wanted to return to. He kept his eyes closed, hoping to return, but it was gone.

  He went over the details of the dream in his head before they left his memory. It took place sometime in the not-too-distant future. He was at home with Tommy and Jessi in the great room, only it was transformed into a children’s playroom. Seated on the ottoman was a three year old blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty, holding a child’s electronic guitar. Several feet away, a baby scuttled across the floor in a pint-sized Immortal Angel T-shirt. His dark hair and eyes were striking compared to the fair complexion of the little girl.

  She played the child-sized guitar with skill far beyond her years. As soon as the baby heard the music, he spun around and plopped down on the carpet, mesmerized by the sound. He gurgled his approval with a happy laugh and bounced on his diaper. That was Angel’s son, listening to his half-sister play the little clunky plastic guitar like a rock star.

  That’s when the scene had turned fuzzy and consciousness washed away Angel’s perfect family. He always loved children and had hoped to adopt one day, when he was in a committed lifelong relationship. God knows his mother had always pestered him about it.

  He never heard Tommy and Jessi discuss having children. With the struggles of adjusting to their relationship and then the instant fame and success of the band, Angel never really gave much thought to asking them if they planned on having a family.

  He realized he was still grinning from ear to ear, lying in bed with his eyes closed. He must look like a fool. He swiped his hand across his face to tone down the smile, but it was stuck there. He longed to return to the dream, but sleep eluded him, so he replayed it over and over in his head. Each time, he connected to it more and elaborated on the scene. He imagined Tommy giving his daughter guitar lessons and Jessi launching a rock and roll line of baby clothing. He imagined his son taking vocal lessons and starting a band with his sister. They would never be referred to as “step” or “half” siblings. He imagined names for his son. Maybe Rico, after his father, or Luis, after his grandfather. Angel breathed a deep contented sigh. It was as perfect as his life could be.

  He rolled toward Tommy and slung his arm across Tommy’s chest. He blindly searched for Jessi’s hand but couldn’t find it. He extended his arm as far as he could reach, and it landed on the empty mattress. It was rare that she didn’t sleep cuddled up to Tommy’s side. Angel popped his head up. He was disoriented in the unfamiliar surroundings and had to stop to think about where he was. It slowly came back to him that they were in Asia and Jessi wasn’t with them. The happy, content smile left his face in an instant. He missed Jessi. It was the first time they were apart and the dream made him realize how much he loved her. She not only represented his female partner in life, his “wifey” as he liked to call her, but she could potentially be the mother of his child.

  His heart ached at her absence. There was a huge void in the bed and in his life. He wanted to speak to her. He needed to speak to her, but he didn’t want to wake Tommy, so he took the phone into the other room.

  Jessi answered on the first ring. “Hi. What time is it over there? Isn’t it the middle of the night?”

  Angel’s smile was back. The sound of her voice was as soothing as the sea outside the hotel window. “It’s almost four in the morning, but I wanted to hear your voice.”

  “Is Tommy OK?”

  “Yes. He’s asleep. I woke up and forgot you weren’t here, and I missed you.”

  Her momentary silence expressed her surprise. “That’s really sweet, Angel.”

  “I just . . . I don’t know. I’m not used to being without you, that’s all. You’re a big part of my life, Jessi, and all of sudden you’re not here. You always took care of me. You made sure I had all the pieces to my wardrobe. You made sure me and Tommy got enough rest before a show. You’re a very nurturing woman.” He envisioned the type of mother she would be. She would always be doting over her children, protecting them from . . . everything, and she would be directly involved in their lives. She would never have a nanny. She would be the mom that always went on school trips and that took all the kids to the movies. She would be the mother that all the other kids congregated around and wished for as their own. “I feel your absence, sweetheart. It’s like a part of me is missing.”

  “I wish I could be there. I miss you, too. And I miss Tommy. I miss being at the shows. I watch them on the internet, but it’s not the same.”

  She sounded miserable and he was being insensitive. He was here with Tommy and she was home alone. He was glad Alyssa was with her to keep her company, although he was sure those two would raise hell given the chance. It brought a smile to his lips. “What are you doing right now? Are you and Alyssa getting into all kinds of trouble together?”

  “Hardly. I’m sitting on the deck going over everything for the boutique on my laptop. I can’t believe it’s opening in a few weeks. Thank you for your help, Angel. I owe you a great deal. You made everything happen for me.”

  “You don’t have to thank me, and you don’t owe me a thing. I’m always here for you. You can always count on me if you need anything. I mean that.”

  “I know you do. It’s late and you have a busy day tomorrow. Get back to sleep and give Tommy a kiss for me. Tell him I love him.”

  “I will, and I’ll have him call you in the morning. Love you.”

  “I love you, too, and thanks for calling. You brightened my whole day. Bye.”

  “Bye, sweetheart.”

  Angel tiptoed back to bed, mindful not to wake Tommy. He replayed the conversation in his head and imagined Jessi with the two children from his dream – her children. The three of them would make beautiful babies together. He just needed the right time to bring it up.

  Chapter Twelve

  Jessi sat in the middle of the bed with today’s newspaper. It was Tommy’s spot, but until he returned, it was her new temporary residence. It not only made her feel closer to him, but it made the huge bed seem a little less empty. She took the photo album and scissors off the night stand and opened the newspaper. Tommy and Angel were on page twelve. They were in Beijing having lunch at an outdoor market. In the background were a string of gift shops and she hoped they picked up something for her. It would be a memento to accompany her scrap book.

  Her cell phone buzzed and she reached down to retrieve it from the foot of the bed.

  “Tommy! I was just thinking about you.”

  “Hi, hon. I know it’s late. I just wanted to wish you a good night. Are you already in bed?”

  “Yeah, but I’m not sleepy.” She didn’t want to tell him about the scrapbook. It was going to be a su
rprise. “Tell me about your day.”

  “It’s only noon here. We had a morning talk show interview and performed two songs. Now we got a couple of hours off before we have a radio promo spot this afternoon. What did you do today?”

  There was a lot to tell him. Everything fell into place in the last few days and it all happened so quickly she could barely catch her breath. “I finish classes tomorrow. I can’t believe I’m going to graduate next week. Finally!”

  “And is the boutique all ready to open?”

  The boutique was another surprise. She didn’t want to tell him how Ricardo, Angel’s dad, helped her transform it from a small boutique into a full size retail store by renting the adjoining space and knocking down the wall. “It just needs the last finishing touches and I’ll be ready to open the doors on schedule right after the graduation ceremony. And I got my invite to Fashion Week today. I got a front row seat.” In the previous years that she attended Fashion Week, she went as an associate designer as an employee of the small house she worked for. This year she was invited as an up and coming designer and got a prestigious first row seat. It was an honor. “And they’re letting me bring two models so I can show off my designs.”

  “That’s wonderful. Next year, you’re going to have your own runway show. I can’t believe the month is almost over and we’re going to be together again soon. I can’t wait to see you and to see your store. I’ve – hang on a sec.”

  There were voices in the background. It sounded like Audra or Marissa.

  “I’m sorry. I gotta run. Call me in the morning when you wake up. OK?”

  “OK, baby. I love you. Give my love to Angel.”

  “Will do. I love you, too. Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  She stared at her phone until it went dark. They never had enough time for a long phone call and with the time difference it was hard to catch each other at a decent hour. At least she got to speak to him before she went to bed.

  She returned to the newspaper and scrapbook. She carefully cut out the photo along with the small article, and pasted it on the next free page in her album. The album wasn’t just for her; it was for Tommy and Angel to memorialize their trip. She turned to the first page and looked at the photo from JFK when they said goodbye at the security check point before they boarded the plane. She studied the sadness in their faces. The caption commented on her absence on the tour and it rekindled the anguish she suffered on the horrible morning that they left. It was one of the saddest days of her life.