Rock, Paper, Shivers

by Sara C. Roethle

  “You speak to the Norns?” Alaric asked, truly astonished. Until recently, most Vaettir, except Mikael, had been under the impression the Norns no longer existed, and perhaps they never had.

  Aislin fluttered her lashes, clearly bored. “That’s besides the point. My point, is that I have waited for the charm for centuries, and I will wait centuries more if need be. Long enough for Madeline to perish, and for the charm to become fully available to me.”

  Alaric doubted Aislin had several more centuries in her. She’d aged a great deal over her long life, unlike him or Mikael. Her powers might be frightening, but she wasn’t powerful enough to live forever. Still, it would likely be a moot point to argue with her, especially when he had valuable information to spur her into action.

  “The charm has left behind its physical form,” he explained. “It now dwells within Madeline. When she dies, its energy will be released back into the universe. Whatever it is you intend to accomplish, it will have to be soon.”

  Aislin growled and slammed her dainty fist down onto the table, then turned ire-filled eyes to James. “Is this true?” she demanded.

  James nodded. “I retained my memories during my lost time. I saw the charm withdraw into her body myself.”

  Aislin gritted her teeth. “I will kill the girl before I let her use the charm against me.”

  Panic washed through him. He debated killing Aislin then and there, heedless of her guards, but instead raised a finger into the air. “There is another way,” he suggested, giving everything he had into keeping his voice calm.

  “And what is that?” Aislin snapped.

  Alaric took a step toward the terrifying little woman. “Madeline loves me, and she will trust what I tell her. All we desire is a safe home. She will use the charm to help you meet your goals.”

  Aislin’s eyes lit up for a brief moment, then narrowed. “And how do I know she will not simply turn it against me as soon as I find her?”

  “And how do you know she will not simply help Estus if he finds her first?” Alaric countered. “I’ve come to you in peace. If you help me, Madeline will do the same.”

  Aislin sighed and sunk back down to her chair, her anger suddenly gone. “So be it,” she muttered. “I will help you find the girl. Just remember, your only hope for a clan lies with me, as Estus had already decided to have the girl killed.”

  Alaric smiled, though inside he felt sick. The Morrigan claimed that one clan still sought to use Madeline, while the other sought to kill her. He was actually surprised the one with murder on mind was Estus. Estus was an opportunist. He would never eliminate someone useful. So what were his true intentions? Alaric’s stomach tightened. He preferred dealing with an enemy he knew, not a stranger. For the first time, he was beginning to think he never knew his enemies at all.

  8

  A loud banging at the door woke me. Remembering I was still in the Morrigan’s Salr, I yawned, then lifted my arms to rub my groggy eyes. I didn’t want to get out of bed, even with a scary goddess hammering away at my door.

  I stared at the ceiling for a moment, ignoring the banging. I hadn’t slept much. Every time I drifted off, I was overcome by horrible nightmares. In most of them I was fleeing from unknown, dark forms. My pursuers remained vague, but I could sense their dark intents. Had the key wielded the dreams to mess with me? Maybe, but really, the dreams felt like more of a warning than a prank. Although I could still barely sense the key, I’d probably know if it awoke to terrorize me.

  Another loud set of knocks sounded on the door. I sat up, groaning at the Morrigan’s impatience, as the lights slowly came on in my fully furnished room. I had no idea where the Morrigan had gotten the furniture, and I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to learn anything more from her. All I wanted was to be away from the goddess as soon as possible.

  As my feet hit the cold floor, I realized I wasn’t alone in the room. My heart leapt into my throat, then settled back down as I realized the person crouching next to my heavy, wooden dresser was Kira. Leaning against the dresser’s wooden siding, she held a finger to her lips, urging me to be quiet.

  The Morrigan knocked again.

  I cursed under my breath and stood, then gestured for Kira to hide under the bed. I hastily tugged the covers down to make sure she was fully concealed, then hurried to answer the door. It wasn’t locked, and frankly I was surprised, yet grateful, that the Morrigan hadn’t just come barging in. In fact, she even remained in the hall as I opened door.

  She still wore her layers of dark clothing, with her red hair cascading nearly to her waist. However, unlike yesterday, she appeared very tired. Heavy bags marred the skin under her eyes, looking almost bruised against the near-translucence of her face.

  “We must prepare for the ritual,” she stated blandly, looking me up and down.

  I instinctually wanted to take a step back, but that might invite her further into the room where she’d possibly sense Kira.

  “You look tired,” I commented, hoping she wouldn’t take offense. “Are you sure you’re up for it?”

  She frowned. “This body was not made for the magic I possess. The things I’ve done have taken a toll.”

  “Maybe you should rest, er—” I paused. “You know, I really don’t know what I’m supposed to call you. Is your name more of a title, or an actual name?”

  She actually smiled. “You may call me Mara, and rest will not help me. I will draw strength from our army once they arrive.”

  I didn’t like the sound of that.

  She raised a red brow. “You know I can sense your emotions, my dear?”

  I cringed, then shut my emotions down the way I’d learned from Mikael. I wasn’t used to being around another empath, and it made me realize just how annoying I might be to everyone else.

  My heart pattered nervously, but Mara didn’t seem angry or offended.

  “I will explain the ritual to you over breakfast,” she said with a knowing smile. “Meet me when you are ready, but do not take too long.”

  She turned abruptly and swayed away down the hall, followed by the trail of her billowy dress and black cloak.

  With a sigh of relief I shut the door, locked it, and turned back toward the room. Kira scurried out from underneath the bed, then slumped back against it in relief, still on the floor. Her green hair was alive with static from the underside of the boxspring, making her look just as frazzled as the emotions I was sensing from her. Emotions that echoed my own quite perfectly.

  “What ritual?” Kira asked breathlessly. “What army?”

  I moved to sit by her on the floor. “The Morrigan wants to summon an army of banshees and other phantoms to fight our enemies, other Vaettir.”

  I sensed a thrill of fear as it shot through her.

  I turned to her. “Something tells me you know a bit about this phantom army.”

  Kira visibly shivered. “I remember something, from a long time ago. It seems like some distant dream.”

  First she remembered the Morrigan, and now this, both things that no one living should be able to recall? “Kira, just how old are you?”

  She shrugged. “I remember when the lands were solid green, and the few humans respected us. I made the crops plentiful in the spring, and my sister Sivi made the rivers flow. Our patron goddess, Coventina, gave us the gifts of the wells and springs, bringing life to the land.”

  I inhaled so sharply that I choked on my own spit. “Sivi?” I sputtered as I tried to regain some oxygen.

  Kira nodded innocently, an expression I couldn’t even imagine on Sivi’s face. It had to be the same Sivi, who now that I thought about it, looked quite a bit like Kira. Sivi had translucent white hair and violet eyes, but their features were nearly identical.

  Sivi had been the first one to offer me a way out of Estus’ Salr after I arrived. She’d later offered me a way out of his dungeon, but it would have been at the expense of many innocent lives. Sivi wanted to put things back to how they were in Kira’s memories.r />
  “She’s dead,” Kira clarified, interrupting my thoughts.

  “Are you sure about that?” I asked weakly.

  Kira nodded. “The humans took her. They had started killing our people with fire, thinking us evil. Some of us were,” she added. “Things had changed by then.”

  Well that explained Sivi’s hatred of the humans. “Did you see her die?” I asked.

  Kira shook her head. “No, but if she’d survived, she would have come back for me.”

  “Kira,” I began, gently placing my hand on her boney shoulder. I didn’t want to give her false hope, but some coincidences were just too great. “I’m pretty sure I’ve met your sister, and she was very much alive.”

  She startled, then looked like she might cry. “It cannot be. She would have come for me.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not sure she had a choice.”

  Kira shivered again, clearly holding tears in. “You should go to the Morrigan,” she muttered softly. “I worry she’ll come back to fetch you soon.”

  I wanted to ask her more about the phantom army, but I’d just dropped a major bomb on her. It didn’t seem right to push the subject. I sensed she wanted to be alone, so I nodded and removed my hand from her shoulder.

  I stood and began to walk away, but felt compelled to turn around, overcome by a sudden wave of emotion from Kira. She remained huddled by the foot of the bed, covering her face to hide her tears, though her gentle sobs gave her away.

  I wanted to go to her, but knew she wouldn’t appreciate it. She’d been dealing with this pain on her own for a very long time.

  I left the room, shutting the door gently behind me, then went straight to the bathroom. The small room lit up as I opened the door. Though the Salr all seemed somewhat similar, the bathroom fixtures in this one were different, more medieval. The tub was made heavy, dark metal, perhaps cast iron, and there was no toilet, just a chamber pot . . . not the most fun thing to use. On a small wooden bench by the tub were fresh clothes.

  I paused to lock the door behind me, then leaned my back against it with a sigh. I’d taken a bath the previous day, and had mainly just been sitting around, so I rallied myself and went straight for the clothes. I donned the underwear and soft crimson sweater quickly. I lifted the next piece of fabric, which unfurled to reveal a long, flowy skirt, so not my style. I dropped it back to the bench, then went for the charcoal jeans I’d left in the bathroom the day before.

  When I had done everything I needed in the bathroom, and could no longer stall, I left in search of the Morrigan. There had to be some way I could talk her out of the ritual. I wanted to beat Estus just as much as anyone, but I wasn’t quite ready to summon a phantom army to do it.

  I found Mara in the room where I’d eaten the day before. Her old book was lying open on the table, and several more had been added to it. I approached and touched one of the ancient pages while Mara remained seated by the fire.

  “Where did you get these?” I asked, feeling somewhat enamored of the old books, even though they held information on a big, scary ritual.

  “They were mine,” she said, not turning to face me. “Preserved by my residual magic all this time. They waited for me here, hidden.”

  She still hadn’t turned to face me, so I flipped through the pages of one of the books. The thick, waxy pages felt full of energy, making my fingertips tingle.

  “Where is here, exactly?” I questioned.

  I knew we were in a Salr, and that outside everything was very green, but that was the only information I had. In crow form I’d been able to perceive that we’d crossed oceans, but I wasn’t sure which ones, or how far we’d actually traveled.

  “This land is now called Ireland,” she explained. “It is my homeland, and the land where my phantoms dwell, laid to rest within the earth.”

  Something about the tone of her voice was strange, almost sad, though she was shielding her emotions from me, so I couldn’t be sure. There was an extra seat beside the fire, and feeling almost sympathetic, I moved away from the books and took it.

  She offered me a sad smile as I sat, accepting my company. “You’ll thank me for all of this in the end,” she stated.

  I wasn’t so sure about that, but since she seemed in an information giving mood, I’d humor her.

  “Why did you come back here?” I asked. At her sharp look I added, “Seriously. If this earth has changed so much from what it should have been, what value do you find in being here?”

  She turned back to the fire. “You called to me.”

  I shook my head. “No I didn’t. I didn’t even know I was created in your image. Why did you come?”

  She let out a long sigh, still staring into the fire. She seemed different with the fire illuminating areas of her face, almost soft.

  “I saw an opportunity, and I took it,” she answered quietly. “The old gods no longer hear the cries of their children, but I am not like them. I am no god.”

  Her revelation startled me. If she wasn’t a goddess, how the hell had she traveled through the World Tree to get here? “If not a goddess, then what are you?”

  She shrugged. “Over the centuries, many have labeled me a witch, some a goddess, and some have accused me of being one of the banshees. They are all correct, and they are all wrong.”

  Not fully understanding what she was saying, I waited for her to continue.

  “I’m not explaining this well,” she sighed, shifting in her seat. “The old gods are more like the Vaettir themselves, embodying different aspects of the earth, and of life itself, including civilization. I am this earth. It is a part of me. We come from the same natural balance of life, death, and emotion. It is what we are, and what you are meant to be. Harmonic balance, a never ending cycle of finding meaning, the spirit, then accepting death.”

  I blinked at her. “ . . . what?”

  She smiled, her gaze distant. “You will understand in time, once you have fully accepted your nature.”

  I shook my head, still not fully comprehending what she was, and by extension what I was. “But where did you come from? How did it happen that you were given physical form, if you are the earth?”

  She smiled at me again. “I’m an accumulation of that energy, combined with humanity. I do not know just why I came into physical being, but becoming a part of humanity forced me to learn and grow as any human does. I’m the combination of humans and the earth, and all the greatnesses and terrors that such a combination can result in.”

  I let my breath out as I sank back into my chair.

  “Do you understand?” she questioned.

  I slouched down further into the cushion, feeling like I needed a hot bath, or a shot of whiskey, or something to take the edge off.

  “Yes, and no. I mean, it makes sense to me, but if I think too hard about any of it, my brain just sort of stops.”

  Mara chuckled, then looked back toward the fire.

  “I have one more question though, and I’m sorry if it sounds selfish.”

  She smiled and nodded.

  I took her nod as a sign to go ahead and ask, “If you are the earth herself, and humanity, and emotion, then what the hell does that make me?”

  She frowned for some reason, worrying me. “You are Vaettir. You are a member of your race just like any other, but you are also more. You can connect with the old, pure powers because even in this mortal form, they still flow through you. You can see things others cannot, such as the innate energy that courses through everything, and everyone, connecting us all.”

  I shivered despite the heat pouring forth from the fire. I could sense different energies, if that’s what she meant, but I’d thought it was just part of being an empath. Emotion was energy. It was simply my gift, or my curse, nothing more.

  Feeling more confused than ever, I shoved the information aside to be mulled over later. Her explanations had brought a more pertinent question to mind.

  “If you are the earth and the connection within us all, why are
you summoning an army to kill those we are somehow connected with?”

  Her lips curved into a malicious grin, surprising me. “Because there is as much human nature in me as in any other, and vengeance and death are a part of life. We will cast our enemies down for ever thinking they are any more important than a frog, a leaf, or a tiny honey bee. I am light, but I am also darkness. We are good, but we are also evil.”

  I sunk even further into my chair as my heart began to race. I didn’t want to be part of darkness or evil, but at that moment, I wasn’t sure if I’d have a choice. All I wanted was to keep my child safe, and Alaric and Sophie. Heck, even Mikael. I was motivated by the urge to save my friends, not to crush my enemies. That was where the Morrigan and I differed.

  If that made me a lesser being, then so be it. I’d never asked to be anything more than human.

  Sensing my unease, Mara leaned forward, closing the space between us to put her hand over mine, which rested on the arm of my chair.

  “You want to protect them, don’t you?” she asked.

  I inhaled deeply. I didn’t know if she meant Alaric and my child, our traveling companions, or the Vaettir race in general. I was at the point where I couldn’t care less about the Vaettir, but as for the others, the answer was yes. They had protected me, and now I needed to return the favor.

  I nodded, hesitant to seal the deal with an actual yes.

  “I can give you the power to save them all, and to save yourself,” she explained, “but it has to be your choice. I was never given a choice in what came to me. I would not bestow the same fate upon you.”

  I quickly thought of my other options. Mikael’s wife, Erykah, had said that in destroying the key, I would likely die, as would my child. One of the Norns had said the same. If I refused to put the key into my child, we would both die. Mara was the only one who’d actually given me an option where everyone would not only live, but I would be the one to save them. It would be a nice change from being such a monumental burden.

  “Yes,” I answered finally, placing my free hand on my belly. “I want to save them, and I will do whatever it takes.”