Every Glance (Every Life #3)

by Tasha Ivey

  “That’s smart.” And I can tell that she really thinks so.

  I show the both of them around the house, and of course, Simon is in heaven in my office. I have a shelf of different models of hearts and brains and…oh, shit, the female reproductive system. After quickly shoving that one in my desk drawer, I let him get each one down and take them apart. Devyn is worried about him breaking them, but I assure her that, if I hadn’t broken them yet, they were indestructible.

  When I’m certain that Simon is going to be entertained for a while, I pull Devyn aside. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” I whisper.

  She looks back at Simon, seeming content with what he’s doing, and nods.

  “Hey, buddy, we’ll be right back, okay?”

  “Uh-huh.” He doesn’t even look up.

  I lead her out on the back porch and offer her a seat at the patio table. Taking the chair across from her, I draw in a deep, shaky breath. I don’t know why I’m so nervous about this, but it’s beyond time to let her know that she knows who I am. She’s known me for a long time, but she’s actually never known me.

  “Devyn, I have to tell you something.”

  Before I can get any other words past my lips, she slumps forward and rests her forehead in her hands. “He told you, didn’t he? About Carter and I being divorced?”

  Carter? I hadn’t even put that connection together. She actually married that douchebag Carter Jenson? He was the dumbass that led the crusade of making my life a living hell back then.

  “Uh, yeah, he did. In the car.”

  She drags both hands through her hair and groans. “I’m sorry he dragged you into our problems, and I’m sorry I told you that we were only separated. Half of my own family doesn’t even know we’re divorced yet, but I have to tell them soon. He’s planning on getting remarried in a few months.”

  “Simon mentioned it. He’s also really worried about you. There’s more, too, but I’m not sure if I’m the person who should tell you. Maybe it’ll be best if you had a talk with Simon about it.”

  “No, please, just tell me. I hate that he’s always stuck in the middle of Carter’s nonsense, so the less I have to make him talk about it, the better.”

  I sit back in my seat and look out across the glassy surface of the lake. If it were any other woman sitting here with me, I’d think this was setting up to be quite the romantic scenario. The breeze is cool and clean. The sun is dipping lower into the sky, casting a warm golden haze over everything. I’d love nothing more than to light a fire in the pit and snuggle next to Devyn and watch the sun set.

  Umm…I’m not even going there.

  “Well, he told me that he overheard Blair saying that she doesn’t like him. And that Carter said he likes to have Simon over all the time to make you mad.”

  She presses her lips together in a thin line and wrenches her hands together. “That bitch actually said that? I mean, the thing with Carter isn’t anything new. I’m well aware of what he’s doing. But her? I can’t believe she said that within earshot of Simon.”

  “Devyn.” I don’t know why, but I reach out and cover her hands to stop their fidgeting. “I know I have no right to be involved in any way in the mess with you and your ex-husband. But I do really like Simon, and I know he needs someone to talk to. He’s really concerned about you. He’s told me more than once about how sad you are. That’s why he got you the necklace. He wanted you to be happy.”

  “The necklace.” She slips one hand out to touch the little heart, but leaves the other one underneath mine. “He told you about that, too?”

  I have to recover quickly, not wanting her to know I bought it. “Oh, yeah. We talked a lot in the car. He doesn’t know me very well, but he opened up to me anyway. Which tells me it’s really eating at him. I hope you don’t mind, but I told him that I’m his friend, and I’ll be here for him if he needs me. That’s really all I can offer him. But I thought you should know how he’s feeling.”

  She doesn’t say anything right away. Staring off into the distance, she doesn’t seem to be focused on anything here. Her mind is somewhere else, and judging by the tears threatening to spill over onto her cheeks, it’s not a good place. I don’t rush her, though. I just sit here with her and rub my thumb across her knuckles, a wordless promise that I’m here for her, too.

  Ten years ago, Devyn wasn’t a good person. She was vindictive and heartless and she didn’t care at all who she hurt. Somewhere deep in the back of my mind, I wished for all the pain she inflicted to come back and haunt her, to come back and pierce little parts of her soul, leaving her broken and withered. Just like I was for a long time.

  But I think it’s haunted her enough. Besides, it’s not only affecting her; it’s affecting someone who’s completely innocent. Simon doesn’t deserve any of this. And regardless of how much I wanted to believe it before, Devyn doesn’t either. Spending your entire life in complete misery is such a waste. Before long, she’s going to look back on her life and only see turmoil and regret and wonder if living was even worth it.

  I know because I was there once. I was so tired of never being able to live up to my dad’s expectations. Tired of being the guy that everyone hated just for being who I was. I was sick of feeling like I was a parasite to those around me.

  That’s exactly why I can’t fault Devyn for the past anymore. She’s clearly a great mom, or Simon wouldn’t be so worried about her. I can see the love in her eyes every time she looks at him. She’s not the same person anymore. She’s a loving, caring woman with a broken resolve and a crushed heart. And she needs someone to remind her that keeping herself submerged in all the pain isn’t worth it.

  “I appreciate you telling me, Dalton,” she finally says, so soft that it’s almost imperceptible. “And I’m thankful for you letting him know that you’re here for him.”

  I squeeze her hand gently. “For you, too.”

  “That’s not necessary, Dalton.” She pulls her hand away and rests it in her lap. “I’m a big girl, and I don’t need my sister’s boyfriend playing the hero in my life. Kyler is possessive enough without me coming in and taking up your time with my drama. Simon and I will be perfectly fine.”

  “Whoa, wait a minute. Who said that I’m Kyler’s boyfriend? I had her over for dinner once, and she invited me to your parents’ party. Speaking of which, she hardly said a word to me at the party because she was too busy bragging to everyone there that I’m a doctor and talking bad about her own friends. I left early because I was frustrated with her, not because I had to go to the hospital.”

  She sits back, stunned by my little outburst. “Well, I guess I made a poor assumption. But that doesn’t mean I need you to be my knight in shining armor, Dalton. I don’t mean to sound unappreciative of your willingness to help me and Simon, but the last thing I need is another man in my life to…” She makes air quotes. “…‘help’ me. My God, that makes you sound just like Carter. He’s ‘helping’ me by letting me keep our house instead of paying child support. He’s ‘helping’ me by keeping Simon more. He’s ‘helping’ me by letting me keep my job in his firm. I’m tired of all the help. I’m sick to death of it. I just want to stand on my own two damn feet without anyone running along to hold me up.”

  Well, now that she’s put it that way, I can see exactly what Carter is doing, and it in no possible way benefits the well-being of her or Simon. He’s doing everything he can to keep her from being happy unless he’s there to administer it. He wants the new life but wants to keep a firm grip on his old one, too.

  “Hell, no, that’s not helping you, Devyn. When I say that I’m here for you, I don’t have any hidden agendas. I have nothing to gain except the satisfaction of knowing you’re okay. Carter only wants to control you, and he’s doing a damn good job of it. His name is on your home. He makes you work late hours to show you that he is the one who determines exactly how much you see Simon. He wants you to work for him, so he knows there’s no way anyone there will ever hit on you. As long as
you’re under his thumb like this, it’ll never stop.”

  Taking a deep breath, she folds her hands and rests them on the table. For the first time today, she looks at me. I don’t mean a passing glance or a prolonged stare. She truly looks at me. I can feel it. “Why do you care? You don’t know me. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. But it’s true.”

  This is the perfect moment to confess. The perfect moment to tell her exactly who I am. I have to do it.

  “No, wait.” She blurts out before I can ever begin to form the words. “Don’t answer that. I’m being bitchy because I’m exhausted. Carter came over late last night, and we got into a huge fight, so I didn’t get into bed until three. I never should’ve brought you into this, and I should’ve gratefully accepted your willingness to be a friend to Simon.”

  She reaches up and twirls a long strand of hair around one finger, then realizes she’s doing it, so she flips all of her hair over her shoulder. “I’m an absolute mess and a horrible person. I’m so so sorry for accusing you of being anything like Carter. He never would’ve done anything like what you did for Simon today.”

  It’s strange how quickly she flipped that switch. It’s almost like she’s just putting up a front, so I’ll drop it. I would imagine it’s a lot easier to just go along with everything Carter tells her to do instead of fighting him on it. When I challenged her to change things, it didn’t take long for her to back down.

  “I meant exactly what I said. Anytime. Anywhere. If you or Simon need me, I’ll be there.” Reaching across the table to take her hands again, I’m glad when she meets me halfway and turns her palms up to press them against mine.

  “Thanks, Dalton.”

  “When can we have dinner, Mom?” Simon appears in the back door. As soon as I look up, his eyes are on our hands.

  Awesome. That’ll confuse the hell out of him after the lecture I gave on only being friends with his mom.

  I jerk my hands back, even though I know it’s too late, and look at my watch. It’s nearly five-thirty, and without a snack this afternoon, I can understand why he’s hungry. Time really got away from us today.

  “Tell you what, buddy. Since your mom and I have work tomorrow and you have school, let’s go inside and order a pizza. It’ll be quick and easy, and that’ll be one less thing your mom has to worry about when you get home. Sound good?”

  Reminding him that there’s school tomorrow clearly wasn’t the best idea. “Fine,” he growls, rolling his eyes. “But I don’t understand why weekends can’t be three days long.”

  I laugh and jump up from my chair. “Me either, Simon.”

  The pizza arrives within forty-five minutes, which isn’t bad compared to what it usually is. Simon is practically ravenous by this point, so he tosses three slices into his plate without batting an eye. He’s pretty thin like I was, so I know it won’t hurt him to have a little extra. Devyn won’t allow him to have soda before bed, so he settles for milk, taking it and his pizza to have a carpet picnic in front of the TV. Devyn and I soon join him, but we opt for the couch instead.

  So here we are. The three of us. Eating pizza and watching cartoons as if we’ve done it a million times before. It’s oddly comforting, even though I’m used to having the place to myself. There’s something so domestic about all of it, and it worries me a little that I like it.

  I’ve never really wanted to get married or have kids, but tonight, I’m getting glimpse of it, and it’s not so bad. Just like when I looked over at the parmesan cheese, and Devyn passed it to me without even thinking. I noticed her string cheese down her chin, and I handed her a napkin. Simon’s giggles at the cartoon character getting squished by a piano were freaking adorable, not irritating like I would expect.

  I like living alone, and I enjoy the quiet moments to myself and being able to watch whatever I want on TV. Tonight, though, the other side of the coin isn’t too damn bad.

  Before I know it, we’re all finished eating and completely wrapped up in this kids’ movie about lost, talking dogs.

  “I think he fell asleep,” Devyn whispers. “He’s breathing really deep, and I swear I just heard him snore.”

  I lean up and peek over the coffee table at him, wearing his new scrubs and curled into a ball on his side. “I think you might be right.”

  Devyn has one foot tucked under her and the other rests on the table, which she didn’t dare do until she saw me do it first. It’s strange enough to have her here in my home, but for her to be on my couch and barefooted brings a whole new light to the weirdness. But damn, I like weird.

  “We really need to get going,” she says, stretching her arms high over her head and exposing just a sliver of skin at her waist. “Thanks for everything. You really made his day, you know. He hasn’t been that happy in a while.”

  “He made my day. Thanks for bringing him.”

  She stands up and slips her feet into her shoes before walking around to look at Simon. “It looks like he’s going to get his bath in the morning. Waking him up to do it tonight willingly isn’t going to be a possibility. Just waking him up to willingly walk to the car is going to be a chore. Just a warning…prepare for a fit to be thrown.”

  “No, don’t wake him.” I jump up and jog around the table before she can reach over to shake him. “I’ll just carry him out.”

  Without giving her a chance of rebuttal, I scoop Simon up in my arms, and he only stirs a little.

  “Hi, Dalton,” he murmurs sleepily before wrapping both arms around my neck and falling back asleep. I can’t ever remember a child hanging onto me like this before. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t tug on my heart a little bit.

  And Devyn’s soft smile tells me it got her, too.

  Not caring at all that I’m barefooted, I slowly walk Simon out to the car, cringing occasionally when a jagged piece of gravel stabs into the soft flesh of my foot. I’ve never liked walking on gravel, and I especially don’t with an extra sixty pounds added to me. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

  He doesn’t even stir when I lower him into the seat and buckle his belt. He just curls toward the armrest in the middle and snores softly. I’d give almost anything to be able to sleep that soundly.

  Pushing the door closed as quietly as I can, I take one last glimpse of my new friend. He’s probably the coolest kid I’ve ever met, and I can say with all honesty that I’m looking forward to the next time we can hang out.

  Devyn leans against her door and crosses her arms over her chest. The temperature has dropped quite a bit this evening, so the chill is a little strong for her to be without sleeves.

  “Be right back,” I say with a finger in the air. Walking carefully through the gravel and into the open garage, I reach into my backseat to grab my hoodie and carry it back to Devyn.

  “I don’t need your jacket, Dalton,” she says with a laugh. “I’ll be just fine. I’m just going home.”

  “And while you said all of that, your teeth were chattering.” I raise my eyebrows and hold it open until she finally gives in and turns her back to me and slips her arms in.

  “Thank you…again. I feel like I’ve had to say that a lot tonight.”

  I shake my head while I slide the zipper halfway up. “You don’t have to thank me.”

  “Kyler really would be lucky to have you in her life. You’re a good man.” She pats my chest and turns to open her door, but I stop her before she even touches the handle.

  I swallow hard. I’m about to say something that I never thought I’d say. “Devyn, what if I’d rather take you out sometime?”

  “Me? There are so many things wrong with that, I can’t even give you an answer.”

  She reaches for her door again, but I grab her hand. “I’m serious. I want to take you out sometime. On an actual date. I know it makes me sound like an ass, but I don’t want to see Kyler anymore. I’d love to spend more time with you instead.”

  “We can’t do that. Kyler would flip out and tell everyone that I stole you aw
ay from her. Carter would never leave me alone if he found out I was dating someone. It just wouldn’t work, Dalton, but I really am flattered.”

  I can’t give up that easily, so I take a step forward. I’m so close now that she’s leaned back against the car to keep from touching me. If I take a deep enough breath, our chests would be touching. “We don’t have to tell anyone, not even Simon. We’ll keep it quiet until we see how things go. If we don’t work out, nothing changes from the way it is right now. And if it does, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

  “I can’t—”

  Placing a finger over her mouth, I interrupt her. “You can. If you don’t want to because you don’t like me, then say so. I can live with that. But if it’s because of Kyler and Carter, it’s not a good enough excuse. Do something for you, not them.”

  She takes my hand away from her mouth, but she surprises me when she cups my hand to her cheek and closes her eyes. I want nothing more than to kiss her senseless right here under the smiling sliver of moon and the winking stars. Except Simon would be seriously traumatized if he woke up in the middle of that. I’m already pushing what I’m comfortable with him seeing as it is.

  “Dalton, I…” She trails off and opens her eyes, dropping my hand. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t.”

  Not willing to push her any further, I nod and step back, allowing her to get in her car and drive away. I just stand out in the middle of my driveway like an idiot until I can no longer see her taillights.

  Rejection always sucks.

  Knowing she didn’t want to reject me somehow twists the knife in a little deeper because that little shred of hope I saw in her face makes me want her even more.

  And she’s too scared to give in to hope.

  THE WEEK IS flying by but it feels like it’s dragging, too. Because Stan had a conference to go to, I was the only one in the clinic for the first half of the week. And because several other doctors in the area are attending the same conference, I ended up taking Stan’s on-call nights this week. Thankfully, he agreed to take my next two days, so I won’t have to go back into the hospital until Saturday morning.