Every Glance (Every Life #3)

by Tasha Ivey

  Turning at the end of the block, I finally reach the Ferris Wheel. The combination of the gulf breeze, the neon lights, and the electric buzz of the amped up crowd makes me suddenly euphoric. Well, also knowing that I’m here to meet Devyn could also play a part in it.

  I stretch up on my toes to search for her while reaching in my pocket for my phone. There’s no way I’ll ever find her in this madness.

  But the cool hands that reach around and cover my eyes tell me I won’t have to look any further.

  “Guess who.”

  “Jennifer?” I can’t help myself.

  She knees me in the back of my thigh. “I’m sure you must be confusing me with a gorgeous actress.”

  I grab her hands and twist around, never letting go. “No one would ever do that. You look better than all of them.” She smiles slightly. “I’m glad you came.”

  “I really shouldn’t have. I’m totally imposing on your weekend, and now I’ve made you leave your friends. I don’t expect you to spend time with me here, you know. I just thought it’d be nice to get away for a couple of days, and you made it sound so beautiful and serene here.”

  “Okay, I’ll get back to my friends, then. See ya,” I joke and begin to walk away, even though I’m still holding one of her hands.

  She doesn’t let me get more than a step away before she’s jerking me back. “You already came all this way, so don’t you think we should at least ride the Ferris Wheel?”

  Now that I’m an arm’s length away, I notice how great she looks tonight. More youthful and carefree than I’ve seen her since she walked back into my life a couple of weeks ago. For once, she doesn’t look stiff and haggard. Her eyes are brighter, and her smile is wide and playful. Even the way she’s dressed makes her appear to be a completely different person. Her faded jeans skim over every curve and are rolled up to just above her ankles to reveal a pair of black Chuck Taylors. And a black sweater hangs slightly off one shoulder to reveal a ribbon of phrases tattooed at her collarbone.

  “I escaped the oblivion,” I read aloud, stopping her hand when she reaches to pull her sweater back up. “The dark depth lost its hold the moment I found its most guarded secret. The promise that light would once again return. That hope wasn’t out of reach.”

  “It’s just a book quote I came across that spoke to me.”

  She never ceases to fascinate me. Right here in front of me, I have a woman who likes beer and spicy food and wears Converse and has a tattoo of probably the most beautiful phrase I’ve ever read. I guess I never truly knew her all those years ago, but aside from being gorgeous, she used to be one of the most superficial and judgmental people I’d ever met. She was a kid, though, and I believe that all of the hurt she inflicted has come back to her in so many ways.

  Even the first few times I saw her again as an adult, she seemed frigid and empty, with the exception of when she was talking to Simon. It was obvious that she wore her broken heart like a suit of armor, certain to guard anyone from seeing who she really was. I certainly wouldn’t have ever imagined that, underneath her stone exterior, she was so multi-faceted, thoughtful, mysterious, and kindhearted. A deadly combination.

  “I have to know…is there any truth to the words? Be honest.”

  She nods and looks away. “It struck a chord with me when I read it. I can’t say I’ve always believed it, but I’ve wanted to. When you think that hope is dead and you succumb to the darkness that you’ve been fighting off for years, it’s freeing to know it’s still there if you’re willing to fight for it. But unfortunately, you get tired of fighting for what you’ll never have, you know?”

  I watch her for a moment, trying to find some sort of a rebuttal in my repertoire, but I find nothing. I know exactly how that feels, and she’s completely right. Hope is very much like a starving flame. No matter how hard it fights for oxygen, it can only burn so long before there’s nothing left to feed its hunger, and it completely dies out, allowing the shadows to consume it until there’s only a mere memory of light. And then even the memory is nothing but a ghost who haunts your every thought. But eventually…eventually…the memory fades. And there’s nothing left to fight for.

  I get it.

  “Let’s get in line,” I say, turning and throwing my arm around her shoulders.

  Thankful for the subject change, she smiles and walks with me, slipping an arm around my waist. We only have to wait a few minutes before the ride operator signals us to step forward to get into the car.

  “Hey, buddy,” I whisper, slipping a couple of twenties into his hand discreetly. “You mind to let us ride until I signal to stop?”

  He stuffs the bills into his shirt pocket and slaps my back. “Sure thing.”

  Once we’re inside and start moving, I look over at Devyn, who is sitting on the opposite side, and crook my finger at her. “This is probably the shortest date in all of history, so I prefer to spend our precious few minutes wisely.”

  She laughs and slides around to my side. “You’ll make anything a date, won’t you? Maybe for our next date, you could come with me to pick up groceries.”

  “I only go grocery shopping on the fifth date. I do have morals.”

  We move up higher again as the other cars are filled, and now I’m able to see just over the treetops. It just hit me. I don’t think I’ve ever ridden a Ferris Wheel before.

  “Which date is this?” she asks, flipping the chestnut sheet of hair over her shoulder.

  “Well, if you count dinner and a movie with Simon and then the evening in front of the fire, that makes tonight number three.”

  She peeks up from under her lashes. “So what do you do on the third date?”

  I swear to all that is holy that my heart just beat right out of my chest. I feel the ride come to a stop again, and I smile when I realize we’re at the very top. “The third date is one of the best ones. I kiss my girl senseless on top of the world.”

  Devyn’s lips split into a wide grin. “Your girl, huh?”

  “If she wants to be.” I think every cell in my body is jumping up and down.

  “She does.”

  Moving in closer to her, I cup one of her cheeks. “Well, I’d better get to kissing her then.”

  She meets me halfway, my lips only gently brushing hers at first as if they want to memorize the exact form of the lush flesh. Even though the contact is minimal, searing warmth fills my veins like molten lead. Sinking, yielding…forcing me to surrender to the delicious weight of it, the heaviness of a desire so disorienting and mind-altering that I wonder if I’ll ever right my equilibrium again.

  Her greedy lips part first, capturing my bottom lip as the most willing of prey and sucking it between her teeth to graze it with her slick tongue. She melts right into me until our souls collide, so profoundly, so completely that I feel like they’ve always been the two halves of a whole. As our kisses become increasingly urgent, my hands find their way around to tangle in the silky ribbons of her hair and pulling her so closely that not even a whisper could pass between us.

  It’s in this moment that I find a sense of peace within myself. The kind of inner peace that soon follows an internal cease-fire. She doesn’t remember who I am, and I don’t care who she was anymore. We’ve shed ourselves of the ugliness that poisoned our very cores and now we’re searching for some light to fill the dark recesses left behind.

  The light she brings is blinding, making even the best parts of me seem dull.

  Never has any woman made me feel like I’m worth it. That I’m worth following to Orange Beach to steal only a few minutes of my time. That I’m worth taking the risk of bringing me into her son’s life. That I’m worth loving. Not that Devyn does, but if she ever gets there, I wouldn’t have to second guess her motives. She’s no longer the type to play games because she has as much to lose as I do.

  After we make several rounds—not that I was cognizant enough to count how many passes we made—she pulls back and looks up at me. “I like this date even mo
re than the last.”

  “Me, too.”

  “I’m really glad I came.”

  “Me, too.”

  She snuggles the top of her head into my neck, and we both look out over the skyline as we ascend to the top once again. Being under the stars with her is quickly becoming one of my favorite things in the world. But like all good things, it has to end.

  “I’m going to have to leave soon,” I say after kissing the top of her head. I hope the scent of her hair lingers on my shirt all night.

  “And I just had myself convinced that we could stay like this forever. The ride operator seems to agree with me. He’s stopped to let everyone on and off several times, but he hasn’t even batted an eye at us.”

  We pass the operator again, and I hold up my index finger, signaling to take us around one more time. I catch her look of confusion when he nods at me. “Because I may or may not have bought us a little extra time.”

  Devyn stretches up and kisses me, lingering for a few seconds before backing away. “Thank you. I never have understood why people go on dates. I mean, it never has been anything special to me, so it just seemed like a ridiculous waste of time. But I get it now. I want to go on a date every day.” She laughs softly, and her breath tickles my neck. “I didn’t meant that the way it sounded. I don’t mean with other people. I mean…I want to date you.”

  “I think we’ve already established that.” Kissing her forehead, I close my eyes and soak in her words. I want to date her, too, and I hope to also show her what falling in love is supposed to feel like. “You’re my girl, remember?”

  Just as she nods, our time comes to an end. The ride operator winks at me as we pass, so I mouth a silent thanks. I weave through the crowd carefully, never letting go of her hand, until I find a somewhat private spot on a grassy area beneath a palm tree.

  “Where are you going now? Can I walk you back to your car, at least?” I ask, swiping a stray strand of hair off of her forehead and tucking it behind her ear.

  Devyn shakes her head. “I’d like to do a little shopping before I go back to my condo, but I appreciate the offer. I’m glad to know that chivalry isn’t quite as dead as I once suspected.”

  “Just be careful, okay? And I’d appreciate it if you’d text me when you get there, so I won’t worry about you.”

  One corner of her mouth turns up. “I will. Promise.”

  Damn, I don’t want to go. “Good. Goodnight, Devyn.” I step forward, pinning her to the tree with my torso before kissing her again. One last, sweet kiss to tide me over until…oh, who am I kidding. It won’t tide me over for six seconds.

  “Goodnight, Dalton.” She presses her palm to my cheek and lets her fingers trail down my neck and chest before it falls away. “Have fun with the guys.”

  I nod and force myself to take a step away from her.

  Two steps.

  Three steps.

  But I stop and turn back again.

  “Come to our place tonight. We’ll be like teenagers, and I’ll sneak you in after everyone is asleep. I’m just a half mile down the highway from you.”

  “Absolutely not. I’m not going to intrude on your weekend anymore. It wouldn’t be fair to you or your friends. I swear I’ll be fine. After getting a few minutes with you tonight, I’m more than fine.”

  “You wouldn’t be taking me away from them at all if they’re asleep. Just think about it, and let me know if you change your mind.”

  I finally tear myself away from her again and barely make it back to the bar in time to meet Sawyer and Wes coming out the door.

  “Helluva marathon phone conversation for a guy who hates to talk on the phone,” Sawyer chuckles and hooks his heavy arm around my neck. “I was beginning to wonder if it turned into a booty call and if we would see you again tonight.”

  “I don’t do booty calls.”

  He and Wes stop in their tracks and gawk at me.

  “Fine. I don’t anymore. Better?”

  Wes rolls his eyes, but there’s no annoyance behind it. “Wasn’t it just a couple of weeks ago that you were half naked on your couch with that kid’s aunt?”

  “Hey,” I argue, “she called me. Totally different.”

  The thought of Kyler sends a wave of guilt over me. I hate that I kind of hooked up with her before Devyn. I hate even more that I came between the two of them. It puts all of us in this awkward position that I don’t know how to shake.

  We barely make it to the amphitheater just in time, but because it’s just a local band, we don’t have to fight quite as large of a crowd as was in here earlier tonight. I don’t know many of their songs, but I’ll admit they are pretty damn good. Sawyer is singing every word, but then again, he knows a couple of the band members well. He’s actually played and sang with them a time or two over the years.

  Little does he know, I made a few phone calls once I found out they’d be playing tonight.

  The lead singer, Israel, sets his guitar on the stand and runs his fingers through his shaggy hair before stepping back up to the mic and pointing over to us. “I see my good buddy, Sawyer, in the stands tonight, and I hear he’s about to be a married man. That must be one hell of a woman if she tamed that beast.”

  The crowd roars as Sawyer laughs deeply and nods his head.

  “Why don’t you come up here for one last hoorah before you get all tied down and become the world’s best purse holder? You know you want to.”

  He doesn’t have to beg. Not even a little bit. As soon as the words are out of Israel’s mouth, Sawyer is down at the gate, waiting for security to let him slip through to get on stage. I can’t help but laughing at the screams of women as soon as he walks across the stage, and he’s eating that shit right up. I’m glad Wes is catching it all on video for Makenna because she’s going to really get a kick out of it, too.

  “How about we play one of our old favorites? Since it’s been a while, It’s Been Awhile is fitting.”

  Sawyer’s grin is so wide, I can almost count his teeth from here. “Hell, yeah. Let’s do it.”

  Israel hands Sawyer his guitar and walks over to the side of the stage to grab another. Israel counts it off, and they both start strumming the familiar tune, kicking the crowd into another frenzy. Sawyer looks like a natural up there, just as comfortable as he does when he’s playing for our group of friends.

  But when he sings, the crowd goes silent, hanging on every word, every note. I’ve always said he missed his calling, but he’s never believed it for a minute, especially since Makenna came into his life. He’s perfectly happy with where his life is going, and there’s nothing wrong with that. He found it. The thing that all of us look for, whatever the word for it might be. Just…it.

  Wes and I yell along with the rest of the crowd as the last notes are strummed, and Sawyer and Israel hug and exchange a few words before he descends the stage to find his seat again. The whole way down the aisle, everyone is patting him on the back and congratulating him.

  “Thanks, man,” Sawyer says as he approaches before seizing me in a bear hug and nearly picking me up. “This weekend couldn’t have possibly been any better.”

  Mission accomplished.

  OUR NIGHT CONSISTS of shooting pool, a lot of laughter, an unhealthy amount of hot wings, and way too much whiskey. Sawyer was right…it really couldn’t have been better.

  Even the women shamelessly hitting on all of us didn’t dampen the mood. But it did make me sad that they were even flirting with Wes, even though he was trying hard to keep his wedding band in plain sight at all times. It just seemed to fuel their fire. I guess it’s the whole “wanting what you can’t have” thing. That could explain my deep-rooted attraction to Devyn way back when.

  We’re all feeling mighty fine by the time the cab drops us off at the house, but the combination of the relaxing effects of too much alcohol and the clock reading two-thirty has all of us eager to get into bed. Wes hardly mumbles a goodnight before retreating to his bedroom, and Sawyer halfway hu
gs me with one arm before announcing through a yawn that he’s texting Mak that he’s back and going to bed.

  It takes me less than ten minutes to fall into my mattress after rinsing the night away in a steamy shower and brushing away the foul taste in my mouth. The room spins ever-so-slightly when my head hits the pillow, but thankfully, it stops within a few seconds. I don’t think I’ve drank that much in years, and I’m sure I’ll be paying for it tomorrow.

  Deciding it would probably be a good idea to get ahead of the hangover, I get back out of bed and pad into the kitchen to down a couple glasses of water and toss back a couple of ibuprofen. The house is already completely silent, so I know the guys have already passed out. They’re used to getting a lot more sleep than I am, and the last couple of days have been a blast but exhausting.

  I roll back into bed again, more slowly this time to keep the room from spinning, and curl up on my side.

  Just in time for my phone to buzz behind me.

  I reach around to snag my phone from the nightstand, and the name glowing on the screen is exactly the one I hoped I’d see.

  Devyn: ‘Are you still out?’

  She texted me a couple hours ago while we were at the bar to let me know that she was back at the condo for the night. I thought she’d be asleep by now.

  Me: ‘Just got into bed. Why are you still awake?’

  Devyn: ‘The walls are paper thin. Someone next door really likes action movies with lots of explosions. Not conducive to quality sleep.’

  Me: ‘My offer still stands. Come nap with me for a while. I don’t snore. Usually.’

  Devyn: ‘I can’t. You’re supposed to be there with your friends. I wouldn’t want them to be mad at you.’

  Me: ‘They’re in a whiskey-induced sleep coma right now. Promise. Neither of them will wake up before nine.’

  Devyn: ‘You’re sure?’

  Me: ‘2,000 percent.’