Journey overtly glanced in the opposite direction and back to the clothes rack she was pretending to browse through. “Not yet,” she discreetly whispered.
Perri rolled her eyes irritated that she was being inconvenienced to such a ridiculous degree. “What is he doing, buying out the store? No, wait, let me guess; he’s probably trying to holler at some hoochies or something of that nature. Am I right?”
Journey giggled and answered with a question. “Would it bother you if he were?
“Yeah, right, Jern. Like I really care what he does or whom he does it with.” Lord, please forgive me for lie number one. “As long as he passes me right on by he can do whatever he wants.” Lord, please forgive me for lie number two. Perri absolutely refused to acknowledge the gnawing pain of jealousy currently stabbing at her heart concerning her first and only true love.
“Perri Tania Milan,” Journey demanded, “who you trying to fool? You forget I know you; and I’m telling you right now, girl, it does bother you that the only love of your life is within walking distance of you and you can’t even parade your perfectly size three hour-glass shape by him with that eat-your-heart-out attitude.”
“Whatever, Jern,” Perri said, irritated with her best friend’s misplaced loyalty.
“Um-hmm, that’s exactly what I know,” Journey smirked.
Unable to help it, Perri laughed out loud. “Just stay on your job and let me know when he leaves, Dr. Ruth.”
“Not to worry, Perri, your girl Journey is on it.” She glanced over her shoulder, her eyes widening as she moaned, “Oh, no.”
“What?” Perri’s heart started hammering overtime in her chest. “What is it, Jern?” Even as she asked, “What’s going on?” her blood pressure shot through the roof.
“Don’t get mad, honey,” Journey hesitated before saying, “but I don’t see him now.”
“Girl, don’t play with me.” Perri anxiously watched her friend continue to look in each direction. Unable to wait another minute, she snapped, “Well, where is he?”
“Don’t know. I don’t see him anywhere. I guess the coast is clear, so let’s make a run for it.”
Perri seemed to be stuck like glue to that one spot, her legs wanting to run but her heart silently whispering to her to face her problem head-on. “Or maybe he’s lurking around the same vicinity, and that’s all I need is to run into him as I’m trying to make a clean escape,” she complained as Imani fidgeted in her arms, gnawing on her finger.
“Well, standing here thinking of all the negatives won’t get you out of here any faster. I say we make a move while we can,” Journey insisted.
“Easy for you to say; you’re not the one hiding out with a hungry baby.”
“You’re right. But I do know my goddaughter, and if you don’t soon pop that tit in her mouth, she’s going to blow the cover on us all.” Journey chuckled.
Perri strapped Imani back into her stroller. “Okay, Jern, here’s what we’re going to do.” She stood up to her full five-six inch frame like she was commander in chief of the CIA. “You take Imani with you and go out the side door in JC Penny; I’ll meet you at the car.” Giving Journey the keys, she said, “Make sure the car is running and ready to flee once I get in.”
“And just what will you be doing while I’m busy stowing away your love child?”
“I’m going to walk down in the direction you saw Barrington in.”
“What if you see him or he sees you?”
Perri shook her head and said, “Guess I’ll have to swallow my pride and acknowledge him.” Seeing the doubt in Journey’s eyes, Perri tossed her hands in the air. “What else can I do?” She patiently rocked her daughter’s stroller as she started to whine. “It doesn’t matter if Barrington sees me so long as he doesn’t see my baby.”
“You mean y’all’s baby, don’t you?”
“Jern, please,” Perri pleaded with her friend’s disapproving eyes. “I need you to help us. Just go ahead of me; I’ll be a few minutes behind you. We’re less likely to be noticed that way.”
Journey quickly pushed Imani’s stroller toward JC Penny. Unfortunately, before she made it past Footlocker, at a snail’s pace, Perri watched horrified as her worst fear came true. Barrington came barreling out of Footlocker and ran slap-dab into Journey’s shoulder. Perri froze as the seams from her carefully orchestrated indirect lie unfolded right before her eyes.
“Pardon me,” Journey said without looking up, guilt and shame staining her cheeks.
“No, excuse me,” Barrington insisted, “I’m at fault, not watching where I was going.”
Imani really started to cry and Perri wanted to run to her daughter, but for the life of her, she could not make her feet uproot from that spot.
“Looks like I upset your baby, I apologize for that,” Barrington said with genuine concern.
“No, she’s fine; hungry but fine. I better get going so I can feed her,” Journey rushed the words out while trying to sidestep Barrington without him seeing the face that mirrored his own.
Barrington smiled but made no attempt to step aside. He knew it was a sad and lonely day in his life when he asked a stranger, “You can’t feed your daughter in here?” Without waiting for an answer, he bent down tickling Imani underneath her chin. “She is beautiful.”
Unawares to Barrington, Imani was a breastfed baby, so naturally she turned her head to the side, mouth open, latching onto his finger and ready to go to town on what she perceived was her favorite nursing nipple. It would have been funny had Perri not been so horrified by her daughter’s childlike behavior. Not that she could fault her since she was a child.
“Whoa, little one,” Barrington said and laughed. “That’s not your bottle, Cupcake.”
Swallowing hard, Journey insisted, “We’ve got to go now.”
Looking up, Barrington said, “Don’t I know you?”
“Um, no you don’t,” Journey lied and despised her deceit. “Sorry, I really have to leave.”
By that time Imani realized her mistake and made sure everyone within hearing range did, too, as she wailed her full disappointment immediately bringing Barrington’s full attention back to her. Without a second thought he undid the strap, picking her up and bringing her to his chest, where she instantly calmed down. Perri could see the horror on Journey’s face and she didn’t even want to imagine the look of her own.
“Okay, little one; you’ll eat soon,” Barrington promised Imani. “Where’s her bottle?”
Journey—a true sucker for emotional moments—now had a smile on her face.
It dawned on Barrington who she was. “Journey Stillwater,” he announced with a big grin.
“Huh?”
“I knew you looked familiar, girl!” Unable to help himself, Barrington glanced around. He ignored the disappointment of not seeing the one woman his heart had never stopped loving. Bringing his attention back to Journey, he wanted to know, “Why did you deny it?”
Coming back to reality, Journey caught her mistake and panicked. “Oh. Well, I um . . . well, see, I um . . .”
“Oh I get it.” He chuckled.
“I seriously doubt it,” Journey mumbled under her breath.
“You didn’t want Crush to know you had a baby.”
“Say what now?” The only thing able to throw Journey off her game was the mention of that name. Ignoring the pain in her own heart, completely at a loss for words, Journey could only shake her head as she watched Perri heading toward them.
“Journey, how is Perri doing?”
“Perry?” Journey parroted not knowing what to say at this point.
Barrington teased, “You know Perri, your other half. It’s been a minute since I’ve seen her around. Are you guys still backup dancing for the locals?”
“Not so much anymore.”
Barrington caught himself and grimaced. “Sorry.” He stroked the little bundle still resting content against his chest. “I guess you’ve kind of been slowed down a little, huh. When did you
have a kid anyway? I didn’t even know you were pregnant.”
“That’s because she wasn’t.”
Joy flooded Barrington’s heart, knowing to whom that familiar voice belonged without looking. Turning, he looked down, connecting eyes with the woman who still had his heart. “Perri . . .” her name came out barely above a whisper. The woman still took his breath away and held the power to effectively render him speechless.
Why did he have to break them? Perri’s eyes narrowed at him even as tears stung the back of them. They would still be together if he had truly loved her the way he claimed; instead, he used her without pause or apology as he hit it and quit it. If she had meant anything to Barrington for real, she was certain they would be married, happy and in love, raising their beautiful daughter together. They could have been a real family all along. But he had to go breaking her heart. She gazed up at Barrington, fighting the urge to throw herself in his arms right along with Imani.
“I’ll take her now,” Perri announced with a tone that left no room for protest. She reached for her daughter. “Please give her to me.”
She wanted to look away as he stared down at her long and hard. The secret she fought so hard to keep had finally been discovered. It was ironic. Her heart ached but not because she’d been exposed. She was so ashamed of the part she played in making sure her secret never saw the light of day. She knew Barrington well; knew this kind of betrayal he could never forgive. It should have made her feel better knowing he’d want no part of her now. But she felt sick to her stomach, knowing she’d just broken his heart. For the moment it didn’t matter that he’d broken hers first. She could only watch as she saw joy, confusion, anger, hurt, and surprise knitting his eyebrows together. He had an expression of someone who walked up on a conversation, hearing just enough to catch his undivided attention, like he was trying to figure out if he heard what it sounded like he heard. Perri couldn’t blame him. It hurt to see it.
Barrington found it hard to breathe through the acute tightness in his chest, not wanting to believe the woman he loved was capable of such cold and calculated deception. He carefully brought the baby in his arms down and, for the first time, got a full view of her face.
Why the hell would she do that to me?
He couldn’t believe he was looking into a pair of yellow eyes with green flecks in them that resembled his own. From there, he scanned every inch of her face, which was the spitting image of his own; for that matter so was every detail about her face. She had her mother’s brown hair, but where Perri’s was almost a golden brown, Imani’s was a light brown, straight and slightly curled at the ends, though he suspected hers would eventually turn to golden curls. The only visible difference about his baby was her skin, which looked almost an ivory shade where his own had a natural golden tan for a white man. He swallowed hard as tears stung the back of his eyes, and he struggled against the emotions warring within him, battling for control as he glared at the woman who had suddenly turned out to be a cold hearted and dangerous stranger.
Barrington suddenly understood the thin line between love and hate, and how easily it would be to fall prey to committing a cowardly act of domestic violence. And if he had been less of a man, right now, his hands would be wrapped around Perri’s beautiful, flawless neck. Lucky for her his mama didn’t raise no damn fool because, God help him that was her only saving grace right now. Jesus just saved your life, girl! How the hell could she be so damn cruel?
Bringing his daughter back to rest at his chest, Barrington hugged her as every gamut of emotion filled him. For the second time in his life he was in love with an unforgettable female; one he had the joy of helping to create.
Tears pricked the corner of Perri’s eyes, but she refused to cry. “I’ll take her, Barrington.”
Yellow-green eyes met and held chocolate brown eyes. “Why. Didn’t. You. Tell. Me.” he ground out between clenched teeth, glaring at her dangerously. Barrington fought to remain in control of his temper, but knew he was close to losing his grip and going shell right there in the middle of the mall. The fact that he saw and felt that she was about to cry—and her pain was killing him—just pissed him off that much more. “That was not a rhetorical question, Perri,” he warned in a tone that sounded bitter to his own ears. Just damn her! “Answer me!”
Mentally recounting how often she’d played out this scene in her mind’s eye, Perry had to admit his words weren’t cold like she’d imagined them to be. She understood she had broken him in a way he never considered her capable of doing to him. God, her heart hurt. She still loved him every bit as much as the day she first laid eyes on him. All the man wanted was the truth. She knew he deserved the truth; knew now how absolutely wrong she had been not to tell him she was pregnant with his baby. If she could just go back and get it right. But she had nothing to offer him except, “You were on the road.” God, forgive me for lie number three. She felt scared and trapped by the hostile glare of his eyes that held her hostage.
“And . . .?” Barrington desperately tried to restrain his rage. She’d better stop testing his emotions because he was most definitely not playing with her right now.
Perri was exhausted from defeat. She had gambled and she had lost big time. “And—”
“Answer me, Perri!”
She involuntarily stepped back.
Barrington regretted his tone. One thing she’d never been was scared of him. He wasn’t a bully. He was mad as hell at her, but he never wanted her to fear him. Even so, his manly pride would not allow him to back down.
“Don’t yell at me, Barrington.” Resentment filled Perri’s heart. He was the one who left her stuck on stupid, making a fool out of her in the process. She should be yelling at him. But he was not worth the stress. Or pain.
Sighing hard, he softened his tone, “You’re not in any position to be calling the shots, girl.”
“You’re not my daddy, you know.”
“I’m not your mama either, but you’re going to listen to me.”
“Barrington, that’s my baby you’re holding and I want her back right now.”
“I believe she’s yours, Perri.” Barrington stepped into her face space and leaned close to her ear, “But I dare you to deny I’m your baby daddy.”
Perri heard Journey snicker behind her and she wanted to shoot her a dirty look. However, her pride would not allow her to let her baby daddy intimidate her into an open confrontation with him. She crossed her arms, staring up at him defiantly. “Prove it.”
“Are you kidding me right now, woman?” When she didn’t respond, Barrington carefully turned his daughter around to face her mother. “The proof is in our faces, baby.” He watched her unfold her arms and stare at him with open hostility. “I suggest—”
“I didn’t want to ruin your career,” Perri blurted, knowing it was a lame excuse.
“Don’t tell me what you thought, Perri. We both know that wouldn’t have mattered to me. That’s just the excuse that lets you sleep at night.” His tone was bitter now.
“You’re wrong, Barrington.” Though hurt by his cold and harsh words, Perri did not blame him. She’d be bitter, too, if she were standing in his shoes right now. “There is no excuse—”
“You’re damn right, Perri.”
Her eyes narrowed, flashing anger at him. “Please watch your language around Imani.”
Imani. Hearing his daughter’s name for the first time made him smile, his heart soft. “Imani,” he whispered for his daughter’s ears only. He rubbed her back and closed his eyes, inhaling her baby scent. She was perfect. She was his. He was her Daddy. “Imani,” he said just because he could. He didn’t care about the lone tear sliding down his right cheek. In that moment, nothing mattered accept him and his baby girl. “Imani, Daddy’s got you,” he promised his precious daughter. “Daddy will never let you go, Imani; never that, Imani.”
Perri felt like a home wrecker for interrupting what she knew was a serious bonding moment between father and daughter mee
ting for the very first time, to her shame, she knew. But she had to feed her daughter. “Imani really needs to eat now, Barrington.” Her heart ached and her arms itched to remove her baby from his already protective embrace. She couldn’t be mad at him for that. Imani had that effect on people.
Disgusted at her unnecessary impatience, Barrington said, “I’ll feed her.”
“You can’t.”
“Like h . . .” Catching himself before he swore again, he said, “Where is her bottle?”
“She doesn’t have one.”
“Look, Perri,” Barrington warned, “I’m in no mood for games, especially not yours. Now pass me my daughter’s bottle so she can go ahead and eat. You’ve kept both of us waiting long enough. And if you knew she was hungry, you should have fed her instead of trying to pass her off as Journey’s kid just to avoid me and keep the truth from me that much longer.” The more he thought about that the more pissed he became. “Not easy juggling a lie, is it?”
Perri’s eyes narrowed. “You should know being the king of lies.” Good and pissed off herself, she was about to let it rip until she felt Journey touch her elbow, giving her a warning look not to press the matter right now.
Barrington did his best to dismiss his anger for the moment. “Perri, her bottle; give it to me.”
“There’s no bottle to give you,” she snapped back.
“Look, I know about my daughter now, so you can cut the act.” He could almost see his hands squeezing her neck as it dawned on him why she was being difficult. “You don’t want to let me to feed her?” He didn’t bother to hide the pain in his voice or hurt in his eyes.
Perri swallowed her anger and tried to explain, “It’s not that, Barrington. I’m telling you she does not have a bottle; you cannot feed her for that reason alone.”
Frustrated, Barrington blew out a puff of air. “Perri, do you mean to stand there and tell me that knowing you were going to be going out for a minute, you didn’t bother to bring her milk?” He couldn’t believe her negligence. His daughter was clearly in the care of an unfit mental case. How else could she explain keeping Imani away from him? He had something for her though, because as soon as he was done feeding his daughter he was heading straight for his attorney’s office, demanding an emergency temporary custody hearing first thing in the morning. Let her try to sleep with that demon tormenting her tonight. She had to be damn bent.
If I'd Only Known (Milan Women Series Book 1) Page 7