Ride or Die 1

by Claire C. Riley

  We sat in comfortable silence, the darkness surrounding us and keeping us trapped in the bubble that we found ourselves in. I held on tighter when I felt his muscles move, and I think he chuckled, though it didn’t feel like he was mocking me.

  I closed my eyes, banishing the view of Gauge’s house, because Gauge was the last person I wanted to think about—especially with the way my body was feeling right then.

  “Laney?”

  “Yeah?” I replied, still not moving, still content to just sit there, the heat from his bike burning through my thighs and his scent wrapped around me.

  “You maybe wanna go for a ride somewhere?” he asked, sounding almost shy.

  “Yeah,” I replied instantly.

  “Good. Because I’m not ready to let you go just yet,” he said, and I think my heart skipped a beat.

  His muscles tightened again and then we were peeling away from the sidewalk and heading back out on the road, and I smiled contentedly, never wanting that feeling to end.

  Chapter Nine:

  1988

  Laney

  Time had lost all reasoning by the time Jesse pulled up to a small lake. The trees rustled in the light breeze, the night air still hot and sticky despite it being after two in the morning.

  Jesse pulled the bike to a stop and then reached down and gave my knee a small squeeze again. I slowly unwrapped my arms from his waist and sat up straight.

  “You okay?” he asked. “I think I might end up with handprints on my stomach from where you’ve been holding on,” he chuckled.

  I blushed in the dark and climbed off, realizing how stiff my muscles had gotten after sitting on his bike for so long.

  “Sorry about that,” I mumbled, embarrassed. I started to turn away and head to the lake when he grabbed my arm and tugged me back to face him.

  His deep blue eyes burned into mine with an intensity that swallowed me whole. “Don’t ever be sorry for holding onto me, Laney. I wasn’t complaining.”

  His tongue darted out to lick his lips and I watched the small movement, my gaze transfixed, and my own mouth desperate to feel his lips pressed against mine. I swallowed and looked away.

  Was I imagining the way he was looking at me? Or was he feeling the same thing that I was? I couldn’t decide if it was real, or if I was just becoming infatuated with the man that I couldn’t have. I had sworn to my mom that I wouldn’t date a biker, and a biker from my dad’s club was a definite no-no. But there was something about Jesse—something different. Something I couldn’t help but think my mom would approve of in some small way.

  He seemed just as broken and lost as me. And I wondered if we would fit together like a jigsaw if we tried. Because sometimes, two lost pieces are just made for each other, regardless that they weren’t from the same place.

  Jesse stood up and took my hand in his, and then he guided me down to the lake’s edge and pulled me down to sit with him. There was no reason for him to hold my hand, but he held it all the same, and the butterflies in my stomach grew more restless the longer he held it. We sat and stared out at the silent water, watching the small ripples move across the surface, the moon the only light.

  I was calm sitting there with him, calmer than I’d felt in a long time. Anger and sadness normally gripped me, squeezing my heart and making me lash out at anyone within hitting distance—normally Gauge. But there with Jesse there was none of that—just a comfortable and blissful silence that sat between us. I mean, sure, my heart was thumping in my chest and I was having trouble breathing at a normal rate—he was a gorgeous biker, after all—but despite the lust that traveled through my body, I was peaceful.

  The night air was still and humid, and I pulled off my small jacket, feeling hot. I folded it and laid it on the ground behind me, and then I lay back to stare up at the sky. A second later Jesse lay back too.

  Above us was an expanse of black sky, dotted with thousands of stars, and we watched it silently, our bodies so close that I could feel the heat radiating from him. His thick thigh was pressed against mine, his arm so close that when I stretched my fingers out to find his, we locked hands almost instantly. There was a spark between us, a magnetism that I couldn’t deny, and I hoped to God that he felt it too because it would be a damn shame if not.

  His hand squeezed mine as if he was reading my thoughts, and I smiled up at the sky—the first genuine smile I’d had in a long time.

  How could this man, that I knew so very little of, make me feel like this?

  I turned my head to look at him, and found that he was already looking at me, and I felt heat crawl up my cheeks. Even in the dark his eyes shone out like blue beacons, drawing me in and pulling me home.

  Jesse leaned up on one arm and stared down at me, pausing for several seconds as if deciding on something. It was a long moment as the silence encompassed us and I get lost in his blue eyes, and then he sighed heavily, one hand reaching out to tuck some of my hair behind my ear. My breath caught in my throat as his hand skimmed my face, and then I watched as his tongue darted out to wet his lips once more. My own mouth opened so I could take a breath because I was pretty sure I wasn’t breathing properly anymore, my chest heaving up and down as he stared at me and I grew more and more intoxicated in him.

  “Fuck it,” Jesse mumbled, and then his hand tangled in my hair and he leaned over further before pressing his mouth to mine.

  I stiffened at first, the kiss harder and more brutal than I expected, but then I relented, giving in to the heat that flared inside of me as it came to life.

  His fingers gripped tightly to my long hair as I opened my mouth to him, letting his tongue invade me, and I groaned, the sound coming from somewhere deep and primal inside me as my body clenched in desire and need for him. It seemed to spur him on as he gripped me harder, the heat from him pouring over my body. But it wasn’t enough—for either of us.

  I needed more of Jesse: I needed all of him. I needed everything, and I reached up with both hands and wrapped them around his neck and pulled him closer until his entire body was covering mine like a thick blanket of male dominance, his masculine scent washing over me and making me shiver. His thigh pushed between mine, spreading my legs wide and letting him press his body closer to me. The hardness between his legs dug into my most sensitive area and made me gasp as he ground his hips against me.

  I bucked against him, wanting more. No, needing it. But as soon as I did he rolled off of me, settling on his knees, and dragged both his hands through his hair. I looked over, hurt flashing on my face before I could cover it.

  “Did I do something wrong?” I asked.

  Of course you did; you misread the signals. You’re not good enough for him. He can have any woman he wants, so why would he want you? The little voice inside me mocked.

  Jesse reached out, his hand cupping the side of my face. “Fuck no, you did everything right. It’s me, I ain’t good enough for you. I don’t want to spoil you.” His thumb trailed down the side of my face, and even that small movement—combined with his heated words—sent shivers through my body. “I want you to live a little before you come into my world. Have fun, make mistakes, and then when the time is right, I’ll be here. Waiting.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. It was both the stupidest and sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me.

  “Jesse, I’m a big girl, I can handle this—whatever it is. One night with you is fine. I know how you bikers work,” I said. I was lying through my teeth, though. I couldn’t handle one night with him. One night with him would be like achieving ecstasy and then never having it again. I would be forever ruined for other men, constantly craving the high that only Jesse could give me.

  One night with Jesse James would never ever be enough, but I lied because if I could only have one night, then that’s what I’d take. “I want this,” I said, sounding needy and desperate.

  A wolfish smile flashed over his face and he leaned in and kissed me hard again. I opened my mouth and let his tongue in,
my hands reaching around to touch him, to hold him, to feel him. I shoved my hands up his tee, desperate to feel his skin beneath my fingers, as his own hands held my face and he kissed me like his life depended on it.

  I reached around to the front of his pants, feeling the swell beneath the zipper, and my body clenched at the thought of him pushing inside of me and taking my body, using me anyway he chose to. I fumbled for a second, trying to pull the zipper down, when Jesse pulled out of the kiss for the second time. He reached down and pulled my hand away.

  “Another time,” he said, his voice thick and gravelly, his breath washing over me.

  I swallowed and nodded, when really all I wanted to do was have him then. I had no clue why he didn’t want this right then, but I couldn’t force him to have sex with me if he didn’t want to.

  “We should get back,” he said, standing up and pulling me with him.

  I nodded but didn’t say anything, not trusting myself to speak. Instead I reached down and grabbed my jacket and let him guide me back toward his bike.

  Jesse climbed on and waited for me to do the same. I wrapped my arms around him, and once again he grabbed my hands and pulled me tighter against him. I pressed my face against his back as he started the bike and I breathed in his smell.

  Jesse drove me home, and when we got there he walked me to my front door, his large frame filling the small porch of Gauge’s home. He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words, so instead he pulled out his cigarettes and lit one, and then he backed away from me with a smile. I noted the small dimple in his right cheek and I bit down on my bottom lip to stop the huge grin that wanted to escape.

  “I’ll be seeing you, Laney,” he said with a nod, and then he turned around and walked to his bike.

  “Yeah you will,” I whispered to him.

  I unlocked the front door and went inside, leaning back against it as I shut it behind me, and I stared into the dark hallway with a smile on my face.

  “Sorry, Mom,” I mumbled, looking upwards. I took a step away from the door and jumped as something thumped on the other side of it three times. I turned back around and threw it open to find Jesse standing there.

  He took one look at me and then his arms reached out and grabbed me by the waist, pulling me to him as he slammed his mouth on mine once more. And then we were kissing, tongues moving against each other, hands groping at one another’s bodies, teeth clashing as we greedily took from each other. He pushed me backwards until we was in the hallway, my back pressed up against the wall. Whenever my hands strayed to his dick he grabbed my wrists and held them above my head and instead he ground his hips against me, torturing me with his body and chuckling when I begged for more.

  His mouth moved to my neck, kissing along my throat, and then he was pulling away again. “Gotta get back to the clubhouse,” he said, his eyes sparking with mischief.

  “You’re fucking kidding me, right?” I bit out breathlessly.

  “You and that mouth of yours,” he goaded, rubbing his thumb across my bottom lip. “Gonna get me into trouble one day, no doubt,” he laughed again.

  I blinked, sexual frustration running riot through me. “You can’t kiss a girl like that and then just leave,” I said with a breathy laugh.

  “But if I didn’t, then how would I know she wanted me for my mind and not my body?” he smarted, giving me a wink.

  And I couldn’t help it—I had to laugh. Even as he backed away, one hand rearranging his jeans because of his obvious hard-on for me. I laughed louder and he shook his head and laughed back before sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and letting it go. He cracked his knuckles and turned and walked away, and I watched as he got on his bike and rode away that time.

  I had no idea why Jesse didn’t take me that night, when I was so clearly begging for it and he so obviously wanted to fuck me until I couldn’t walk straight for days. But it only made my infatuation with him stronger.

  Mom had made me promise I wouldn’t get involved with bikers, but there was no chance in hell I was staying away from that one.

  Chapter ten:

  present

  Jesse

  The ride down to Atlanta was uneventful, giving me more than enough time to plan how it was all going to go down once we arrived. Every once in a while my thoughts would stray to Laney and where the fuck she was.

  One thing was for certain: there would be no talking my way out of it this time. I’d made sure of that.

  Couldn’t say I blamed her. Hell, that was what I’d done it for. I’d tried to scare her away the past couple of months, but nothing had worked. She’d stayed time and time again. But I knew what would do it.

  Too many thoughts whirled through my head the closer we got to the meet—thoughts of death, thoughts of killing and surviving both equally, and everything in between.

  And of course of Laney.

  I glanced over at Casa, feeling his gaze on me, and he frowned, clearly wondering what the fuck was wrong with me. I shook my head and looked back to the road, pulling ahead of him so as not to have to look at his questioning stare anymore.

  Half of me wanted to blame him for this fuckup. He’d been the one to drag me out to that bar and encourage me to fuck that barmaid. But I knew it wasn’t Casa’s fault, really; it was mine, and I was man enough to admit that. Casa wasn’t a one-woman man, never had been, and I didn’t see that ever changing, so I couldn’t blame him for my mistakes because he didn’t see what was fuckin’ wrong with them. But I also couldn’t look at him just then, knowing how glad he’d be that Laney and I were over.

  I might kill him if I had to see that.

  The roads were busy when we drove into Atlanta, but they grew quieter and darker as we drove toward the meet point—a large warehouse district to the north of downtown—and my muscles started getting tenser the closer we got.

  “Jesse? You seeing this?” Casa asked as we slowed our bikes down.

  Tall buildings rose up on either side of us, dark and ominous, but I was more focused on the road up ahead that was closed off. A couple of prospects that I recognized had pulled some old construction signs into the middle of the road to block the path ahead, and they were standing armed and waiting.

  Waiting for us? I couldn’t help wonder.

  I slowed my bike to a crawl. Casa, Dom, and the others did the same until we were all lined up side by side. Reverend’s prospects seemed calm under the circumstances, leading me to believe once more that us showing up like that was expected.

  “You catching this, brother?” Dom asked, his voice hard as tension wrapped itself around him.

  “Yeah,” I replied darkly, eyeing up the buildings on either side of us. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, but right then I didn’t like our odds.

  “Smells like bullshit to me,” Pipes said, calling it as it was.

  I didn’t know what to say to any of them. The whole thing stunk to high heaven. Weren’t nothing right about the whole damn thing, from them cutting us out of the meet to Hardy asking me for help. And now there we were being eyeballed like candy by two of the Reverend’s fucking prospects.

  The Reverend was a mean motherfucker, nicknamed because he’d been a reverend in another lifetime but had flipped his shit one night, for reasons unknown, and never looked back. Broke his vows and turned to a life of crime. The rest, as they say, is history. Yet there he was, cutting the club that helped put him on the map out of a deal. Bad fucking news for him. One thing for certain was that those boys needed to learn who the real men were around there. I took another look at the buildings on either side of us, but didn’t see any movement.

  “Let’s move,” I said, finally making the call. “Be ready for anything.” I looked over at Dom, Pipes, and Max, and they all nodded in agreement.

  I pulled forward toward the roadblock, the sound of our bikes echoing loudly. I kept my gaze on as many places as possible. We were one of the largest distributors of coke in and around Atlanta, so Rev must have
been fucking crazy to try cutting into our profits, but stranger things had happened.

  Unless, a thought came to me, the shit that went down with Butch was all leading up to this.

  There’d been talk of a new player coming in, ready to take over for some time. The Reverend was ready to retire; he’d been in the game long enough to know when to get out while you still could. Still, he wasn’t about to walk away from his empire without making sure he had all his cards on the table for his upcoming withdrawal from the rat race first. Couldn’t blame a man for that, that was for damn certain.

  So if this was about a takeover, who the fuck was it and why didn’t they want us involved? Why cut out your biggest supplier?

  Because you’re not needed anymore. I scowled at the thought.

  We came to a stop a couple of feet from the prospects, and despite the dark lighting and the front they both tried to put on, there was no denying the fear that worked its way through their bodies now that we were right in front of them. Prepare all you want, but when you have five angry-looking Devil’s Highwaymen in front of you, you’d better be prepared to die.

  “Heard there’s a meet tonight, brother,” I said, taking in the older-looking prospect.

  He couldn’t have been more than twenty, a fucking kid really, and the other one looked even younger. He also looked like he was about to piss himself, and I noted that he shifted uncomfortably, his gaze traveling to the building to our left every once in a while.

  “Invite only, Jesse,” the prospect replied darkly.

  “The Rev really cutting out the Highwaymen? That how it’s really going to go down?” I asked, side-eyeing Casa and making sure he noted exactly what I had. By the hard look on his face, he wasn’t blind to the fact that we probably had shooters on us right that second, which was exactly what I had worried about.

  “Nothing to do with the Rev. New club in town don’t want the Highwaymen involved in this,” the prospect replied, swallowing noisily.