by Louise Bay
“I tried, Dexter. You were just . . . you were grieving. And you didn’t want to hear about the possibility of selling the business.”
“Of course I didn’t. Mum and Dad were gone. I didn’t want to lose their business as well.”
“Which is completely understandable. Neither did I. You think I didn’t want you to run that business? To carry on their name? To do what you’d always dreamed of? Of course I did. But it was impossible. The business was teetering on the brink, and without Mum and Dad it would have gone under. There was no doubt about that. I had to think of the jobs that would have been lost when the business collapsed. Sparkle agreed to keep everyone on. And I had to think about you. How would you have felt if I’d let you go into that business and it had failed? How much guilt would you have felt? I know you’re angry, but I wanted you to have a good life—not one marred by a huge failure right at the outset. And the way you were consumed by your grief—I was afraid. Afraid for you. Afraid of the consequences of whatever decision I made.”
What he was saying sounded completely . . . right. Not just true or accurate, but right, like finding the perfect uncut stone after seeing hundreds and hundreds of not-quite-perfect alternatives. My instinct always knew instantly that it was just right. I’d created explanations for David’s behavior that never felt like an exact fit. But what he was telling me now was the entire truth.
I’d felt angry at my brother for so long, I didn’t know how to feel any other way. But the anger was no longer directed at him. Instead, as he spoke, I turned that anger around and pointed it back at myself. There was no wild conspiracy to cheat me of my legacy, no selfish, quick decision that made life easy for David.
Why had I thought so badly of him for so long? I’d held on to so much futile fury. So much bitterness. For too many wasted years.
I swallowed, trying to clear the regret from my throat. “Why Sparkle?” I asked. “Of all the people.”
“That was . . . tough. I asked the solicitor to see if anyone else was interested. But realistically, Sparkle was willing to pay far more than the business was worth. They were guaranteeing the jobs of the people who had worked for Mum and Dad. And it left some money for you to use to start again. I asked myself time and time again what our parents would have wanted me to do, and to this day I still think they would have told me to take the money.”
It was as if someone had wrapped a belt around my chest and was pulling it tighter and tighter. My brother had done everything he could. He’d made the best decision—the decision I would have made if I’d been brave enough or cognizant enough to have been involved.
“And you got to start your own business. I know they would have been so proud of you.”
“I still miss them,” I said, wincing at the constriction around my chest. “All these years later, the pain is still there.”
“I don’t think it will ever go away,” he replied.
He had it too—we both shared their loss. Over the years I’d been able to convince myself that my pain was deeper, stronger, harder somehow. I thought the fact that I’d been denied their legacy meant I loved them more. But that wasn’t true.
“I blamed you,” I said. “For a lot of years.” The wall of rancor I’d placed between me and my brother slowly crumbled as I looked at him through fresh eyes.
“I blamed myself. I still do.”
“You did nothing wrong.” All these years I’d pushed him away when I’d needed him. He’d just been trying to do his best.
“I wanted to save the business so badly,” he said. “For you. For us. For them. I wanted to keep them close.”
“It wouldn’t have worked,” I said. “Nothing would have brought them back.” By hating my brother, I’d just punished myself even more.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I failed you when you needed me most.”
“Don’t say that. If I hadn’t been so bloody minded. So blinkered.” I paused, trying to take it all in. Hollie had been right. “If I’d just remembered who you were, I would never have assumed the worst of you.”
“I should have made you see somehow. Made you listen to me.”
I managed to let out a small laugh. “No one other than Mum and Dad ever made me do anything I didn’t want to.”
He grinned at me. “I guess that’s true.” He sighed. “But I wish over the years I had tried more. I thought if I gave you a little space, you might come around.”
“I guess I did. But it shouldn’t have taken so long. I’m sorry, brother.” I took a steadying breath. “They would hate that we haven’t spoken in so long.”
He nodded, his glassy eyes giving way to tears. He pulled out a handkerchief and blew his nose, clearing away the signs of grief. “I think that’s why I pushed for the bank to sponsor the competition.”
“That’s why you were on the list of attendees at the launch?” I’d thought he was there with Sparkle. Again, I’d made assumptions I had no right to.
“I heard you were entering and I got the bank to sponsor. I wanted . . . some kind of connection. I didn’t dare to hope we’d talk, but I just wanted to be a part of your life in some small way. I couldn’t face attending in the end. Didn’t want to risk coming face-to-face with you and it going badly.”
I’d spent the last fifteen years thinking David had been plotting against me. All that futile anger I’d felt toward him. All that pointless fury.
Too much time had been wasted.
Too much lost that neither of us would get back.
We had to make things right.
Most importantly, I had to learn my lesson. I had to seize opportunities. I had to make the most of everything and everybody in my life.
Twenty-Six
Dexter
“Gosh darn it, Dexter Daniels. This is all your fault,” Hollie called from the bedroom.
“Hollie’s furious because she can’t decide what to wear tomorrow night,” I explained to my brother, who had just called.
“We do have it lucky just throwing on a dinner jacket and combing our hair,” David replied.
“Thank God,” I replied. “Is Layla having the same issue?”
“I think she picked something. She’s excited to meet you. Won’t stop going on about it.”
It was weird I hadn’t met my brother’s wife. Fifteen years may have passed, but we’d spoken every day since we’d met in the café. It felt as if the time we hadn’t been speaking had collapsed to a mere moment. It was like it had always been between us when our parents were alive.
“Hollie’s the same. You’ll like her. She’s different to Bridget but she’s great.”
“Different to who?” he asked.
Hadn’t he heard me? “Bridget. You know, who I was going to marry.”
“The girl you dated at uni?”
Who else could he think I was talking about? “Yeah. You don’t remember her?”
“Vaguely. The one with the curly hair and the tiny feet.”
“No, that was Paula.” I’d forgotten about her. I’d gone out with her before Bridget. “Bridget was the girl on the same course as me.”
“The one with that insane laugh? With the button nose and hips.”
“Well as far as I can recall, every woman I’ve ever dated has had hips.” David was just as he always had been, focused on the details. “But no, that was Verity. Bridget was blond.”
“Did she have a nose ring?”
Finally, he remembered. “That’s the one.”
“Oh, I vaguely remember her. You got engaged to her?” Why did he sound so incredulous? It must have been obvious that Bridget wasn’t Verity or Paula. That she was the one. David must have met her countless times. He would have known we were serious.
“No, but I would have asked her.” I hadn’t had a chance before I’d ended things after a stupid argument.
He chuckled. “Well Mum wouldn’t have been happy. You know how she hated nose rings.”
“But she liked Bridget?” I wasn’t sure if it w
as a question or a statement. It was so hard to remember back then.
“God knows, Dexter. You went through women like most students go through pints of beer.” Why hadn’t Bridget stood out to him? “I don’t think any of us thought you were close to getting serious with someone, let alone married. You were young. Having fun. If Mum and Dad thought you were going to marry any of those girls from uni, they would have had something to say. And it wouldn’t have been good.”
I wanted to press him on what he remembered about Bridget, because it was clearly different from what I remembered, when I heard Hollie in the hallway.
“Yes, I’ll just get him,” she said as she came into the sitting room, her phone clamped to her ear. “It’s Primrose. Was trying to get you but you’re on the phone. It sounds urgent.”
It was getting late. What would Primrose have to speak to me about that wouldn’t wait until the morning?
“David, I’ve got to go, I’ve got Primrose on the other line. I’m sending a car for you tomorrow so I’ll see you at the venue.”
Hollie handed me her phone.
“Dexter, we have a problem,” Primrose said. “One of the pieces was dropped while we were packing up for transport to the venue.”
My jaw clenched and I tried to take a deep breath, steeling myself for more bad news.
“It’s the tiara. One of the emeralds came out and when they tried to force it back into the setting it . . . the stone cracked.”
I didn’t know where to start. I stood and strode to the kitchen to find my car keys. “Who the hell tried to replace it? Was it Frank?” I knew without asking it hadn’t been because he didn’t go around cracking emeralds. Whoever was stupid enough to drop the tiara was stupid enough to try to cover up the damage.
“Dexter, you know I’m not going to tell you. But it could be worse. It was one of the smaller stones.”
I didn’t give a shit if it was the smaller stones. A crack was a crack. I had to contain my anger and focus on what mattered, which was making sure that tiara was ready for the final round of judging tomorrow morning. The ceremony to announce the winner would happen later in the evening.
“Get Frank in. I’m on my way,” I said and hung up. I’d chosen every stone for every setting for this competition. We had some Zambian emeralds I’d sourced for the earrings until we’d chosen to go only with diamonds. I’d have to hope one of them worked for the tiara.
As I got to the doorway, I spun around to find Hollie running up behind me.
“You okay? What happened? Can I help?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “One of the stones in the tiara has cracked. I have to go and sort it out. I’ll be back later.”
She slid her hands up to my face and cupped my jaw. “Oh gosh, Dexter, I’m sorry. Is it fixable?”
I shrugged. I wasn’t sure the extent of the damage or which exact stone had cracked. I just needed to see it for myself and then figure out what to do.
“Shall I come with you?”
I shook my head. There was no point in neither of us getting any sleep. “I need to focus. I’ll call and tell you what’s happening, but you stay here.” I kissed her on the head and headed out.
Up until five minutes ago, Daniels & Co was perfectly positioned to win the competition and carry on the Daniels family legacy.
But no one would win with cracked stones and a broken tiara as the centerpiece to their entry—not even me.
Twenty-Seven
Hollie
Arms folded, I looked at the four dresses hanging in the closet. Should I even be worrying about what I was going to wear to the finals when Dexter was back at the office trying to salvage the tiara? It felt wrong, but at the same time, I knew Dexter would handle things. That’s what he did.
My phone buzzed and I slid it open, expecting it to be Dexter. But it was Autumn calling.
“Hey, lovely, how are you?”
No answer.
“Autumn?”
“Hey,” she replied in a small voice.
“Hey yourself. What’s up?” I headed back in the kitchen to figure out what to cook for dinner. Something that would be good cold if Dexter came in late.
“Hollie, I fucked up.”
I closed my eyes, willing down the fear rising through my body. This was it. This was the conversation I’d been dreading for years now. “You’re pregnant,” I said.
“God, no.”
I collapsed onto the couch. I didn’t care what came next, as long as Autumn’s future was still waiting for her.
“But it might be worse,” she said. “I ended things with Greg. And he didn’t take it well.”
No surprises there, and as far as I was concerned, the fact that Autumn was single was only a good thing. “Okay. Well he’ll get over it. Or he won’t.” Did it matter?
“Except that he’s out for revenge. I’m really fucking sorry.” Her voice faltered as she spoke. What in the hell had happened?
“Mind your manners,” I replied. “What are you sorry about? What’s the worst he could do?” He’d probably spread all sorts of gossip about Autumn, but people who knew us would know the truth. It wasn’t like Greg was the type to get violent.
“You got a letter today. Mom and Dad got one too. From the park.”
“And . . .?” My stomach squeezed into a ball, winding my breath tighter and tighter.
“His dad has tripled the rent on our trailer and Mom and Dad’s starting next month.”
“Tripled? But that’s impossible. We weren’t getting a great deal to start off with because Mom and Dad have been late with payments so often. How can they just triple our rent?”
“I don’t know. I’m so sorry.”
I needed a solution. Something to make it right. “Can you make up with Greg? Apologize?”
“He saw some messages between me and some guy at the college. He got all bent out of shape and there’s no talking him down. I’ve tried, believe me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t have done to set this straight.”
I dreaded to think what Autumn had offered Greg.
Just when I thought things had moved on in Oregon. My last conversation with Autumn had unsettled me. I’d questioned whether I should have left years ago to leave everyone to fend for themselves, seeing as they seemed to be doing so much better without me. But now? There was no way we could afford triple the rent on two trailers. We’d have to find an apartment in town. It would be more expensive, but likely not triple what we were paying now. I wouldn’t be able to walk to work. I’d have to get a car, plus insurance . . . Costs were adding up in my head.
What a mess. “At least we’ve got a month to figure things out.” Hopefully, I’d win the lottery.
“What do you mean a month?” Autumn asked. “It’s three days until the rent’s due.”
The bitter taste of diesel fumes coated my tongue and all at once I was transported back to Oregon.
Ten minutes ago, my biggest problem was which dress I was going to wear tomorrow night. Now it didn’t matter because I wasn’t going to make it. I switched the phone to speaker and started to look up flights.
“I’ll come home,” I said, defeated.
My time in London had come to an end. I’d been stupid to think I could have a new life just because my sister was graduating. Life just wasn’t that easy. I’d thought that with some experience, I’d be able to get a job and leave Oregon with Autumn. That wasn’t going to happen now. I was going to be trapped paying expensive rent.
“No, don’t do that,” Autumn said. “I’ll try to talk to him again.”
It wouldn’t work. I knew it in my heart. I’d go back to Oregon and figure something out. Because that’s what I did.
I should have saved more while I’d been in London. I’d been frivolous buying flowers and fancy cheese for Dexter’s place.
I scanned the flights online. There was one I could afford in three hours. I’d have to Usain Bolt it, but I could just make it. In just a few clicks my future was sealed.
I needed to accept my fate. I wasn’t getting out of Oregon. By tomorrow night I’d be back at the Sunshine Trailer Park and everything in London, including Dexter, would be five thousand miles and a million lifetimes away.
At least I’d had this time, this experience—Dexter. Even if it had been so temporary. I’d hold these memories close for the rest of my life.
Twenty-Eight
Dexter
Three missed calls. Three voicemails. I hung up on the last one just as I stepped into my apartment after working through most of the night. My phone had been on silent at the office as we’d been focused on saving Daniels & Co’s place in the competition.
One crisis bled into another. The new stone was in place on the tiara but Hollie was thirty thousand feet up on her way back to Oregon.
Her messages were garbled and muffled. All I could glean was that she had to go back because her parents and her sister were threatened with eviction. What I didn’t understand was why it took Hollie to fly five thousand miles to sort it out. Her parents and Autumn were adults.
Instinctively, I pressed call, even though I knew she’d be in the air. A phone rang in the kitchen. I followed the sound and found Hollie’s Daniels & Co phone on the counter. Locked.
I didn’t even have her US mobile number.
I scrolled through my phone, looking for Autumn’s number then realized we’d only communicated by email about Hollie’s birthday. We’d never actually spoken.
I wandered through my apartment, looking for signs that she was coming back, but her mobile and four still-covered dresses for tonight’s event told a different story.
There was nothing left of Hollie in London.
Twenty-Nine
Dexter
I stepped out of the cab with the feeling I’d left something vital behind at home. But Hollie wasn’t back at my flat. I checked my watch. She’d have landed by now and I still hadn’t heard anything.
This evening was meant to be different. I’d thought I was going to introduce her to my brother.